₦airaland Forum

aisha2: That is not the solution to violence: More violence, that is what got us to the ALUU stage as a nation. What the guy did was perfect. I wouldnt advocate others to turn to savagery as a response to savagery. For example if a criminal robs you and you see him one day do you rob him back or alert the police? Let her face the consequnces of her action legally as she has done now, that report has entered her file and it is forever registered even if she moves to another organization, if he slapped her she would have felt the pain only for a second, but making a formal report will now protect others

I am not saying i support violence o. Neither am i saying that it is the solution. And i already said the guy was matured in how he handled it. But that doesn't mean the violent ones are not out there. and i was saying i just pity her if she jammed/had jammed someone like that.

naijaboiy: The day a woman will dare slap me.....

Hmmmm....


Well i'm not sure my anger will allow me think straight that day

what will you do o jare other than to turn the next cheek for another one..

aisha2: On the contrary, that is what she wants so she can cry abuse and people will blame the man for hitting back and argue that women have "softer hands" Sad part is people will tell the man he should have "walked away" hence the injustice and double standard. Imagine what would have happened if Jay Z returned just one punch from Solange, the whole world will be on his case forgetting her own assault

Okay o. God for her. I just pity the day she will slap someone that will later beat her to unconsciousness for months. By the time she finally wakes up(that's if she ever does), she will learn never to hit a man.

aisha2: You did very well, You should have let the law take its course FULLY, silly woman.

very silly. Why should you slap anyone not to talk of slapping a man? mtscheeew. what if the man wasn't matured about it and probably gave her a very big punch and she faints, i am sure when she wakes up, her brain would have gone back to default setting

OBIORAA: When a man abuse a woman, he is label a coward. But when a woman abuse a man, the abused man is still label a coward. Haba it's not fair at all.

Hahahaha!!! is it paining you ni?
when a man cheats, the woman is blamed. But when a woman cheats, the same woman is still blamed.
So just enjoy that part that favors you and stop complaining about when you are at the receiving end o

@Amelian-most teachers miserable? Hell NO. I am not a teacher though

lofty900: make I hear word jor

e pepper you ni?

@pickabeau1
dont mind me o. I was just thinking out loud. I know about all those
things but i still seem not to just get it. I can't but wonder why and how.

@pickabeau1 and aisha2, but
i can't seem to understand how people cope with different personalities
when i am not charly boy. The REAL character different from the ONLINE
character. I just don't get it. Who has time for such nonsense.

pickabeau1: I won't deny they're some comments which would be termed weird by some male posters but what I will not understand how some females use that as a blanket statement to paint all males

There r some posters here who make it their stock in trade to launch hourly and daily tirades against naija guys yet they r in happy relationships with these same guys...

Lol

As I said before not everything you read online is true..if people can send val gifts to themselves why is it difficult to concoct online facades...

aisha2: Its called "street cred" makes you look "macho"

hmmmmm

Phema: Mstcheeewww!!! What happens to some of us that have our exs' contacts off hand and even have them as friends on BBM?

Op, please divorce your wife. She's a whor£. And, don't forget to do DNA test for your kids. Thank me later

babe, u wicked o.

bubbllie: This OP is like what have I done? Nairalanders keep fixing all kinda expressions on his face at different intervals..., this moment, he's laughing his head off, next he's frowning and next again, he's feeling sorry. But he's really worried about those who can't maintain a civil conversation.

eeya..lmao

pickabeau1: @ bukatyne

I don understand what you mean by this..

I am saying peopl make statements to achieve certain things

Those who do runs outside marriage will not come online to boast..
those who beat their wives will not come out to say it..

I think i agree with it. But is it also okay to assume that all those coming online to boast of outside marriage runs are guilty or those who suppose wife beaters thread are equally wife beaters?
Or how possible is it for someone who does neither of the above to come online and boast that they do such??

aisha2: Its called bragado, this is probably the only place their screams and rants of how "Powerful" they are can be heard. In real life they may probably be washing plates with their mothers holding over a cane

someone just came to my mind....

pickabeau1: Without any concrete evidence.. its difficult to know.... Making a ho a housewife can be costly though...

Maybe the OP is just afraid that his wife might decide to be getting IT outside.

[size=5pt][s]because of this : https://www.nairaland.com/1850868/need-urgently#25361240[/s] [/size]

pickabeau1: Anyone is free to make his or her conclusions based on posts here

I dont believe a lot of what is said here anyway

People have e reputations to uphold

baby124: A lot of these religious leaders in Nigeria today are murderer's. Because they have exploited their congregations blind faith all because of greed. It is very painful to see. I believe the government should start arresting such pastors, who encourage their congregation to abandon adequate health care only to encourage them to give up money meant for their health, and they turn around to spend this money on frivolous things like private jets. It is the biggest and most destructive fraud going on right now in Nigeria. It is not isolated to Christians alone.

Even the religious leaders go for medical check-up abroad oo

bukatyne: I see you

Except she lectures in a University near your house or in your compound, she cannot get home by 4:00pm if she has a 4:00pm - 6:00pm lecture. If she is not teaching near your house, na problem.

The most important thing is having a wife who cares about building the home. Such a wife will make sacrifices and learn how to prioritize if need be

. Maybe she doesn't have to go for all her lectures. Abi no be Nigeria university again?

ITbomb: [s]chemistry lecturer in the making according to bukatyne [/s]

Okay sir.... Happy for you.

ITbomb: That has already been taken into consideration.

[s] she is reading Chem Edu [/s]

Very good.

chemistry teacher in the making abi?

aisha2: I agree hence women who want to marry such men should trash these things out and be on same page as regards family and career first.

i agree with you.

aisha2: Some of the men on nairaland do not represent Nigerian men sorry to say. A lot of them just talk and argue for talking sake and may not even be ready for marriage in the next 5 years neither do they understand what marriage means and entails. A while ago I had to beg for MEN to speak up and stop scaring single women here with the kind of things some of them say, so dont get carried away by what you read here after all am sure around you there are more good men than bad, just that its the bad ones we get to hear about.

Most couples I know who decided to do this talked extensively and agreed on this. For those domineering men, women who have a mind should not marry them, let them marry the ones who are okay with having their decisions made for them.

okay. But i am just saying that i know there is a possibility of such men. For them to even think about it, is something to start with.

ITbomb: Duly noted.

I still believe it was wiser to make my expectations known before someone says (in marriage) that I'm forcing her to do what she didn't want to do

yes. It was a good thing you told her before marriage. However, it is not out of place for her to be shocked. It is a good thing to look for a partner that already fits into your plans than look for a partner that you will have to make to fit into your plans

but on a lighter note, how come men are allowed/free/expected to have expectation but most expectations women have will/can be used against them?

aisha2: In fairness to some men, they just dont up and decide, they consider some factors before suggesting that one parent should stay home, eg constant and consistent challenges with house helps, more responsibility at work etc. If they work together with their spouses and both decide for a while one should stay home then its cool, very small minority get up and decide for their wives and in most cases those ones are mostly control freaks with other issues

I agree to some extent sha. But haven't you noticed that even for those that even have a discussion, most times, it is not as if the woman has a choice in the matter. It will be so obvious from all indication that the man is trying to tell the woman to say at home.
Only few men (i have seen some of the on NL) will have a discussion of such and at the end decides that HE stays at home for a while. It is just assumed that when there is a need for one of the parents to stay at home, it is automatically the woman.

Have you not seen threads like ''if the woman earns N600k and the man earns 100k, who should stay at home if need be?'' and the kind of responses there??

aisha2: Another case was a girl with cancer, I visited the hospital paid the bills and gave the mother 15000 for drugs they may request, I also got enough food items and provisions, only to hear 2 days later that the girl had died, they needed 5000 for chemo which was highly subsidized and the mother said she didnt have, I was so mad and asked what she did with the money she said she paid her tithe that the tithe had been gathering and also sowed a seed she was owing, she didnt even seem to care, she had 6 other kids so I guess saving the life of one was not a priority.

Haba!!!

aisha2: People should give it a rest. Being a house wife works for some and does not work for others, let those who want housewives marry women who want to be housewives and those who want career wives marry career wives.
Dont go and marry a career oriented woman and insist she becomes a house wife, or marry one whose dream is to be a home maker and start forcing her to work.
Couples should do what works for them and find spouses who reason alike.

You are right. But i think what they want is a woman that they can just order around anyhow. Like someone they can command today to start working and she will start and maybe whenever they feel like, they command her to resign and stay at home and she does that. No argument or questioning. A woman that can be made to fit into their plan by fire by force.

@ITbomb:please don't forget in your search not to marry a private school teacher o. Go for those in public/govt school.