₦airaland Forum

ElFenomeno1: Women are so tight nowadays its ridiculous....
Thank God for my wife.
I play my role as a man and hubby and she does her role extremely well.


OP, good luck to your friend ooo

Please what is the role as a man and hubby and the role as a woman and wife? I need to know honestly. i am only asking YOU because you mentioned it in your post.

luvablesam: That I keep making excuses for them. I wasn't making 'excuses' like you claimed,just stated facts.

okay then. facts noted...

luvablesam: Interesting!

What part do you find interesting? the fact that i said you do not like polygamy (that's what you said) or that i said you keep helping them find excuse??

kingviny: Thanks to you all. My friend intend to be paying all other bills. He even told her that when things get better for him economically that he would take her off that bill too.

He wants to be giving her money for bulk purchase of staple foods periodically so that he can concentrate more on saving for their un born kids. He merely want her to be handling stuffs like soup , soap and other minor but short term expensis like that.

Is it fair for modern ladies to want to be traditional when it comes to family finance and Kardasian when it comes to romantic treatment?

Is this what your friend told here? As in is this how he explained to her?

thorpido: Yes, that seems to be the issue between them.The fact that he wants to delegate.However,doing it at her discretion means it's going to be occasional.I guess the guy wants it to be regular.
They both need to reach an agreement on it.

doing it at her discretion might mean that it is going to be occasional but that doesn't mean she won't be doing some other things in the house.

e.g she might provide the money for the soup things today and the next time she might ask the hubby money for soup things maybe because she had stock the kitchen with all the foodstuff needed for the month. So which one is better?

If i am the woman i won't even argue at all abi how much will it cost to make a pot of soup?? Since he feels he is capable to do everything and lets see how long that will last.....What is soup matter in all of the family matters? Then the day there is no foodstuff, i will just cook the soup and then serve him like that if he thinks that is the only think i can be useful for.

dytbabe: I don't even have glass cup in my house, if u must drink water as a visitor, its either u take sachet water or use bowl/plastic cup.

I know am bad like that, bt pls bear with me

thorpido: Oh ok,i agree with you.So buying soup things is what the lady refuses vehemently to do?Na wa o

I don't really thing she will have a problem buying soup things. i think her problem is that she will want to be able to do it at her discretion and not as a delegated responsibility by her husband to her.

crackhaus: Well I guess you could say that.

Anyway, my grouse with this whole thing is that whoever should be responsible for 'soup things' is not even supposed to be a problem, it seems too minute and inconsequential for it to cause disagreements...but that's just me.

That is when there is enough money....Ask those men whose wives lock up their shirts every money to demand for ''soup money''

crackhaus: This is another part that got me confused. How does buying soup ingredients qualify as 'bills'?

it is part of the food bills now. Abi?

thorpido: I think 'soup things' just means basic house needs like foodstuffs,soap,detergent,etc

to the man in question, i don't think so... see

kingviny: A very close friend told me he asked his wife to be, to when they get married be handing soup matters while he will still be buying other foodstuffs and provisions.

so if he is buying the foodstuffs and provisions, what else is left in ''soup things'' if not ingredients for making the soup?

crackhaus: Indeed, but common sense dictates that whoever goes to the market usually buys everything 'including' the soup ingredients with the money they have on them na.

Maybe I'm not understanding something here yet.

It depends on the agreement. In some homes, your example is what happens while in some other homes, the husband must drop money for ''soup'' else no soup for them, in some it is the wife that takes up the responsibility of providing the soup money and also buying the soup things, in some the husband provides soup money and also buy the soup things from the market etc. it varies...

crackhaus: This is a joke right? Which one is 'soup matters' again?

Well i guess maybe the ingredients for making soup like pepper, tomatoes, tatashe, curry, maggi, thyme, meat, fish etc. Just saying.

I don't know why i just have a problem with the use of ''delegate''. Why should someone delegate whatever pleases him/her to another? Why not sit together and look at your bills and plan together how to settle them and then both agree on who is to do what according to the individual's capacity?

it just looks more like a boss delegating responsibilities to the subordinate of which the sub has no choice or input in the matter on ground

but of all things to cause argument, soup matters?

It is a good thing and that is how it's suppose to be under normal circumstances. My hubby knows how much i earn. We even went together to collect my offer letter......


[size=5pt]just that sometimes i regret doing that because of somethings he does[/size]

luvablesam: That I support polygamy,abi?

not at all. you already said you do not like it.
just that you keep helping them find excuse

luvablesam: Nah,not what u think. Wait a minute wat do u think?

well.... What do you think my conclusion is?

luvablesam: U av already made conclusions about what I think honestly.

was it in sync with what you think?

[quote
author=luvablesam]Only modern greedy men would want a second wife except they are muslims.
Although av seen a situation were a woman asked d hubby to marry a
second wife.Av seen some above 32yr old chics say they would rather be a
second wife than remain single for ever(not as a result of societal
pressure,mind u)

U wanna know how I truly feel?[/quote]yes i want to know.

one thing is SURE. there is NO reason/condition/circumstance he can present that will be ENOUGH to make me ACCEPT a 2nd wife.

luvablesam: Sure I mean Men.

good for them then. as for me, i have prayed to God not to let me have anything to do with such kind of men and i know he answered my prayer.

luvablesam: Buh u know people differ in what they choose to want?

of course they differ in choices.

1stCitizen: Ghosts!

probably the MALE ghosts i guess.

luvablesam: More than one

good.

luvablesam: Because it had always been the Norm. Trace your family history a bit,u would discover that ur grand-uncle or someone had more than just a woman as wife. Honestly.

Am not in support of plenty wives please.

okay...... how many is plenty??

luvablesam: For those that the 'second. Wife ish' catches their fancy,they would do say or do anything to bring a second wife in

You mean the men?

luvablesam: Some Men would do but definitely not African n Nigerians in particular.

So why should any African woman or Nigerian woman in particular agree to this?

luvablesam: Exactly my tots as well....there is nothing a woman in love can do other than say am leaving or OK, bring her.

bring her for where...
How can i still think of staying with a man that has brought in another woman as co-wife? So many things involved o plus will he be using condom on both of us or what? SO i should now go and catch whatever jagbajantis the other woman is bring. Once another woman enters, we stop being a couple maybe flat mates.

Godmystrength: I won't leave a man i LOVE so much just because he says ''i need a help mate, lemme get another wife''
Help me God not to do the unthinkable oooo

The key word here is just because he says it. I won't even act as if i heard him saying it the first time.

He should not even think of bringing her to my home. Let him go and make her home for her somewhere else......

luvablesam: When I said help, I didn't mean finance. I meant maybe bedroom affairs,taking care of the kids,go out with him when u don't wanna go out or stuffs.

No Man would say YES Coco, cos ur comment has a financial undertone.

so there is a man somewhere that will say yes to the above (if it was reversed) provided there is no financial undertone??

NaLaugh: From informed sample observations (personal).

Your own personal observation? Okay then.

Filmewell: till marriage? sometimes it can be at 37.

happy waiting for the person then.

NaLaugh: He is not. However, he represents the predominant oratory pattern of Naija kids.

About 3 out of 5 of them would speak that way.

where did you get those figures from??

luvablesam: Would u live a man u LOVE so much if he says, 'coco u need a help mate' lemme get another wife?

I won't leave a man i LOVE so much just because he says ''i need a help mate, lemme get another wife''

Help me God not to do the unthinkable oooo