₦airaland Forum

beeevan: Just telling will save all these stress, but it seems you have a taste for the dramatic

I know telling will save all the stress. I am just answering OP's question.

You know like when you are asked to write an essay about your dog in English exam and you don't have a dog. I am sure you won't write there that ''I don't have a dog'' abi??

kulyie: yeah right dressing seductively like this mad skank

Is that lady in the picture for real??

beeevan: The stress don dey too much nah

No stress at all. All will have been put in place before we start shooting the film which won't even last more than some few minutes. Just some minutes phone calls and that's all...

beeevan: I ll tell my husband immediately and he will believe. I can't afford to be boxed into such nasty corners,too old for that shi*t.

Hubby will believe me if i tell him. Just answered according to the Op's question.

zboyd: What do you do when an in-law makes s*xual passes at you?
Some unfortunate daughters/sons in-law find themselves in the uncomfortable position of fending off amorous in-laws. They feel confused, trapped and uncertain, as to how to handle the situation.
Should they continue to ignore/avoid their in-law's advances, tell their spouses and risk an all-out family war or, keep quiet, in the hopes the offending in-law will eventually lose interest in them and move on?
What if no one, including their spouses, believe them?
What would YOU do?

pickabeau1: You sef na dagbo u be.. u are not soft meat

By the time we are through, the in-law won't know what hit him. mtscheeeeeew. He wants to chop what his brother is chopping. OLE

pickabeau1: Thats a practical measure... using a recorder
The guys own can backfire.. make sure u use your brodas ooo...
I agree with your second statement.. avoidance is best

I won't want to use strangers now. They can turn around and stab me in the back. yes my brothers. I will just invite them without anyone's knowledge and once they are through, they will all disappear and we will all rehearse what to say when hubby calls any of them. we are going to create a VERY STRONG alibi.

Bigsteveg: I tire for the guy o, all his comments/post always end with TV

I guess it kind like a signature. You know his username is TV 01

pickabeau1: .. i know that was not possible.. just messing with u

What particular measures will you use.. what if hubby no believe?

I dunno o. Maybe i will get our conversation recorded on phone and then get some guys to help naked him, i pack his clothes and then lock him up in our matrimonial room. I then call hubby and and give him the key to the room to open by himself. If in-law tries to defend himself, the recorded conversation will come handy. I guess he will also have to explain what he is doing in our room naked.

Don't mind me o. I no get that kind mind. I will just report him to hubby and also avoid him as much as i can.
If he doesn't live with us, then i won't be opening the door for him whenever he comes visiting and hubby is not at home. Before one useless man will come and rape me. And i will also keep my children away from him before he will transfer the harassment to them. And when he comes visiting when hubby is around, the way i will attend to him, hubby sef will know that something is not right.

Are you Male or Female??

Bigsteveg: What is TV?

Maybe TELEVISION.

pickabeau1: How will you treat his fockup

Set him with incriminating pics of you and him?

pictures of me and him ke? never never. that one can backfire o. I will definitely find a way out. The set up is just a back up in case hubby wants to doubt the authenticity of my claims meanwhile i would have informed hubby that something important is going on in our house that i will like him to know..... There must surely be a way out. but no pictures of me and him. NO NO NO.

ahnie: no Biggie.

Well might be no biggies depending on the kind of person your spouse is.
But if you have a non-prudent/lousy spender spouse, then it is a BIG biggie

I will first give the in-law the warning of his life. If no changes after that, i will set him up.

gazilion: Even if I show you where it is written in the book of Leviticus, you still won't believe it. It is not for everyone please...leave those of us who do and are blessed to keep doing...I've never regretted paying my tithes...IT WORKS!

Please just show me the ref for the 20% because i need to know. That is why i came here.

From the bolded part of your comment, it seems you didn't get my question. The point is not about paying tithe. I PAY MY TITHE DILIGENTLY (and i haven't said it anywhere in my post that i regret it). The question is can i borrow my tithe to pay back the next month? is it a sin or not?

I am the one asking the question here and you seems to have the answer yet you are not forthcoming with it.

iamtewwy: dats why poverty is on d rise in naija, sir sorry no helper wud locate u, and by the way why cant u b an helper ursef? bro if u give dat money to d pastor u might b frustrated and dissapointed at the end wen no helper comes ur way, we dat dnt gv pastors money dosnt mean we dont get help, helps comes but not as a result of ur tighting think wise, tanx

Are you cursing me ni? Haba!!! But i never said i was waiting for a helper somewhere to come pay my bills neither did i say i can't be a helper myself. My comment was in response to a poster i quoted. You can read the comment of the poster i quoted before my comment. Thank you.

I am not a SIR. I am a female

ahnie: why not.....
hubby and I have a joint acct for family expenses.
abt 50 percent of our salaries.
I kinda love it...cus it gives me joy to be a helpmate rather than putting all the loads on him.
it gives me joy seeing Mr/mrs on the receipts of all our properties.

the OP said joint account of your entire salary.
Nothing wrong with joint account with an agreed % of your salary

Tantidora: My sister friend is not aware she is married.
This a person who most of her friends are not aware she is married..........
My sister has a thing for her friends elder bother ( a widower).

Was she forced to marry the husband?

Them no born me well to refer to my husband as ''a guy'' when i am not high on $h!t.

EnterPRO: when I saw the first picture, I was puzzled.

Me too. I thought she was the beautiful daughter o

coogar: he's a weak man then he should bear her names including her surname.

fair is fair!

okay o

TV01: Leave them.

Be it begged, borrowed, lent or stolen, it's now a part of the local culture. It's become "tradition". An initiative to change or remove said tradition is fine, but to wilfully subvert, or act contrary to it, for selfish reasons is nonsense.

See someone claiming that a man insisting that his wife take his surname because "she is his wife" as a not good enough reason. We took so many yam tubers, I'm sure her people are still finding creative ways to cook it.

Not only will she bear my surname - exclusively - I reserve the right to re-state her given first name or assign any dimunitive I see fit. For the duration of the world cup she was called "babynho" as she served me beverages and sweatmeats !


All traces of her fathers name and authority have been rightfully erased .


TV

What if it was the woman that gave the man money used in buying the yams and also the bride-price?
#thinkingoutloud

With my husband? 100% of my salary? [size=20pt]NO[/size] i am not going to consider it.

frainc: This question is for men

If you are married with a child
And after some years you got to find out that the child you think is yours is actually not yours

You try to find out with every means
But the child is not yours

What will be your next action
Or what will you do?

http://www.myskyenter..nl/2014/07/if-you-find-out-that-your-child-is-not.html?m=1

The next action will be to do a maternity test to know whether your wife is the mother or not because i have heard of cases where the babies get swapped in hospitals.

Plus go do a fertility test on yourself because i have also heard of cases where wives who can't get pregnant will fake pregnancy and arrange with the hospital or whoever to help get a baby. It can also happen when the woman knows her husband can't father children and would want to cover his ''shame''......

Depending on the results, you can now ask her where she got the child from. And then deal with it the way you like jare.

abeg nobody should ''insalt'' me o. Just saying my own.

MARKone: WIFE GOES,

CHILD STAYS

Really? What if wife insists on taking her child with her? And what kind of relationship will exist between you and the child?

repogirl: All I can say is marriage cannot survive without compromise and understanding by both parties involved....

the woman has given her reasons to keep her name, what is the mans own? If he gives her a good reason other than 'you are my wife and so you must bear my name', a reasonable woman should agree to it.

But what other reason do you think a man can give in this case apart from the one you stated above because IMO that is the ONLY reason they have.

coogar: it depends.....
if she's the type that doesn't give a fuss about names.....she gets to keep all her names including first, second, third to the 10th name & my surname.

however, the moment she broaches the subject of keeping her maiden name, she loses the right of keeping any name apart from her first name. she either takes my offer or she gets kicked out of my life like polio.

Okay i get you. Thank you.

mployer: Op if your part faith isn't enough to part with the money, then admit it, pray about it and do just that you are strong enough to do.

The Bible said 'even when we are without faith He remains Faithfull '

my fear is that i will now have to have faith that someone else will ''dash'' me money for transport during the month since i don't have any other source of income.

CORDROSS: So, I will conclude by sayings that ALWAYS TAKE YOUR TITHE BEFORE ANY SPENDING. It saves you a great deal. That has been my option and it has helped me greatly.

If you read my post well, i haven't even collected the salary and i haven't even started spending. If i go by this your conclusion and i take my tithe before spending (just for this month), then its either i default in the loan payment or i have to go borrow to take care of my transport fare. There is even no money to spend except you see transport fare as spending which i don't think so. This is why i am confuse.

Note that it has never been like this before, i.e. i take my tithe before spending. It is just because of the loan i have to pay back.

CORDROSS: But I know from the old Testament that when you eat your Tithe you may have to repay with 20% of what you ate (If your Tithe is 10,000.00 upon repayment you will repay NGN 12,000.00).

The Lord will strengthen you and make your helper locate you. Remain Blessed.

If i get you, you are saying maybe i should go ahead and pay the tithe and wait for my helper to locate me?

Please is the part in bold somewhere in the bible? Please I'll like to know where.

gazilion: Yes if you must do but you Must pay back with a 20%. Don't make it a habit pls.

coogar: nah, she's not allowed.
the only name she's allowed to pick is her first name. her father has collected her bride price, i have bought the rights to strike off her maiden name completely.

Okay then. What if she decides that she wants to change her middle name to some other name (because she never liked the name at all) i.e maybe from Mrs Adenike Abiola Ayanlowo to Mrs Adenike Ayoola Ayanlowo, will you allow her or insist that she must continue bearing the middle name?

sorry to be disturbing you with my questions. I just want to be clear.

modified:
Sorry i didn't see the part in bold before commenting. Are you saying because she is married, she has no right to have a middle name? Just her first name and your name?

In the course of getting accommodation, i had to get a loan to ensure the rent is complete in other not to loose the apartment. The condition of the loan is that i pay back in full this month. Since that was the only option for me, i had to go along with it.

My issue now is that the loan is 67% of my gross monthly salary, transport is 19%, PAYE is about 7%, tithe is 10% which totals 103% already. This excludes other miscellaneous during the course of the month. Since i have to pay up the loan(not negotiable), PAYE is deducted from source, i have to go to work (hence transport is not negotiable too and that has already eaten into the tithe) and there are things i need to buy for my baby. The remaining part of the tithe won't even be sufficient for the needs anyway but it will at least ease the burden.

I don't know if spending of tithe to pay back later is allowed or whether it is a sin.


NB: I have been paying my tithe up to date(till last month-June) before now but just thinking in advance of when i collect this month's salary

Tallesty1: Return the child to his dad if he is traceable or take care of him as your own child. The wife will also go back to her father.

How do you intend doing this after wife has gone back to her father?

I am not for against any of the method adopted so far it works for them. According to the OP, the woman wants to retain her maiden name and still take up her Hubby's name as well. eg some Adenike Abiola Adewale got married to Mr Olusola Ayanlowo. According to what all the men are saying here, after marriage she is suppose to become Mrs Adenike Abiola Ayanlowo. Some women want to be Adenike Abiola Adewale-Ayanlowo. If the husband does not want his name hyphenated with maiden name, is she allowed to drop one of her own middle name and take her maiden name to be her middle name to then become Mrs Adenike Adewale Ayanlowo?

cc: coogar

who knows? The same way MR is thinking he married the wrong person, MRS is also thinking same. SO who is the wrong one?