₦airaland Forum

babteehaulage:
I'm 1986 while she's 1991 na just small body i get and vise versa

she looks like an Aunty to you

Who you dey lie for 1986 ko 1689 ni... abeg Gerrarrahere mehn

Which one should i share sef?
Is it the one that she asked me to come to their house that mumsy will be going to the village that evening or is it the one i bought a copper wire from my junior brother so that i can sell it and buy a wrist watch for Linda??

Chaiiiiii! I feel like crying right now

Negotiate with the kidnappers, give them the money, put a tracker in the money, secure the hostages then proceed to track the kidnappers. Simple!!!

But instead of doing that, they are busy talking nyin nyang poo.


“We still do hope that the security agencies would do much more than is being done now to ensure that the sisters are released.”

But on the flip side, why were they kidnapped in the first place? Is it for money or there is an issue on ground they want addressed?

mikejj:
baba ijebu everybody no be yoruba.spk english

I tire for all these people that will just be commenting in yorugba or igbo all the time! At least use English once in a while nah.

Cowbuoy:
Guy, this one wey this girl's picture full your phone like this...

na team captain of Vaseline FC be dat

alfred007:
lol this one won't have brain

hahaha na her pvssy go suffer be that hahaha....

xendra:
see. this is the other side of gold digging, you want her now that she is prettier but you don't see anything wrong in that, but if she wants you just because you are richer you start screaming gold diggggeeerrr!!

no, you are absolutely wrong!! This is silver mining not gold digging. Guys don't dig gold, they mine silver

This geh (op) don suffer well, well in the hands of men. See how she just dey dish out the points, like say she studied them over night in preparation for an exams

stacyadams:
oga..freee am...she will keep going back to her ex...but i know u will not listen to me

yeah, with the way the op is sounding, he won't let that girl to just go like that no matter the length of the epistle we are going to type here.

In fact, chances of him agreeing to be a side-guy are high

Kingsley10000:
FUNNY DUDE

lol

dairykidd:
Only if u are true with God anything asides that just know they will still come in different forms...maybe through friends and families/loved ones but i wish u the best and advice u hold God dearly

to say the truth, i've been facing some challenges that is putting my resolve to stop going to baba's place into test.

I've lost a couple of expensive properties that were stolen from me. All i needed to do was to contact baba and my properties will be returned to me but i have vowed never to have anything to do with him again so I've let it go.

profolaolu:
They are following the Bible strictly,the Bible says sinners should be reproof publicly if they change they should be prayed for and restored, if they don't and leave the church they should let them go, they don't want multitudes, they just want few that will make heaven by fire by force,they don't send anyone away but they will never beg anyone to come back.

you are absolutely correct!

HeWrites:
A Ugandan lady who seemed to be tired of waiting for her much older white lover to propose to her has done the needful!

She knelt down and proposed to him at a lounge and he said yes!

More photos below;

http://www.torimill.com/2018/01/ugandan-lady-proposes-to-her-much-older.html

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

the hustle is real

lamJ:
Nice story @Gofwane

thanks man.

profolaolu:
That is y I love The Apostolic Church and Deeper Life, U are gone U are, they no send,even if ur name na Lucifer that have musical instruments on his body

lol. Those churches are ruthless in their approach. But to me, that is not the right way to punish an offender. Sending them away means driving them right in to the world.
That is why the number of young people in those churches are very few.

woodfrank:
Our man Gofwane is here. Where is my popcorn and zobo drink . Oya continue.

hahaha buahahahahaha
You know me nah, anywhere there is trouble, i'm likely to be involved. So many, many experience i've had in this life. I can't even remember them all till someone start sharing a similar experience

Some times i used to think that i'm not a normal human being

way2much:
and this Gofwane guy just made my morning...LOL.

Nice to know

dairykidd:
And u think u will leave them just like that after being familia

why not?

purem:
Madam nobody geh tym to dey read long epistle again

If ur dad don old Hw u wan make e show u affecting

abeg help me tell am. The only long epistle we dey read here na mostly experience or story of something that happened to the op

But you no fvck her nah so why the uneasy feeling? You only tried your luck but didn't succeed.
I'm telling you, chances are that she wanted you two to fvck but didn't want to let you touch her easily so as not to be tagged "cheap"

Watch out, she will go to her favourite social media and make a post about one preekless jew guy that she slept at his place but he didn't do nothing!

vivalavida:
Lmao

Baba come back and finish this gist

done!

... all dis church people with their oversabi and holier than thou attitude, na so dey begin to dey murmur among themselves. Some where hissing very, very loudly while some where clapping their hands in surprise.

Secretary: jeso kreste !! Na ashawo dey call you so? So you are a customer abi?

Member1: yes of course! How she go take sabi him name if e no be customer?

Member2: so after you people don go sleep with ashawo finish, una go come stand in front of church to play instruments. Chai!!

To say i was embarrassed is an understatement and to make matters worse, naso the ashawo begin dey approach us and instead of the amebo people to keep walking, they all stayed to hear what we are going to discuss.

Ashawo: I dey call you, you no wan answer abi?

Me: I no hear ni

Ashawo: Abegi, shut up. So you dey pretend because of dis people abi? All you dis church people sef, if una want to be for God, be for God alone if na devil, be for him alone! no be say una go dey here and dey there at the same time.

All the choir members just dey nod head in agreement to what she just said.

She brought out some money and gave me to help her buy 'grass' and bring it to her room later. I was embarrassed, fuming with anger inside but alarm don blow already so I kukuma collect the money and vamooze.

As expected, i didn't even bother to go touch any instruments because the type of church i attend (Baptist) don't tolerate dis kind shii and the members are professional gossipers.
So i went to sit in the congregation, all eyes were on me. Before my nyash touch the plastic chair, one usher just came and addressed me rudely and gave me a suspension later.
That was a big disgrace to my family because my grandparents are missionaries, they are the ones that built the church some 40 years ago. In my church, when you are on suspension, you will be the last person to go and put your offering and you will be singing alone as you go to drop it after everybody has dropped theirs and sat down. All this orthodox churches sef

I can't do that shii mehn for what?? Am i the worse sinner in the church? What of those that were busy fvcking each other, is it because they were not caught red handed in the act despite all the rumours making the rounds?

So i stood up and left to one christ embassy satellite church nearby where they don't care who you are. Like brother iyke will say: "come as you are let the word change you". They don't have a keyboardist so i sharpally mounted the keyboard and started grooving.
Church was lively that day and all those skimpilly dressed choir girls were just hugging me with their big, big bress after the service.
They welcomed all the new timers very well and entertained us with drinks after the service as they took our names and phone numbers. They even offered me money to start teaching some guys how to play keyboard

Meanwhile in my own church, they were missing me seriously because i was the only good keyboardist and sound engineer. The equipments were malfunctioning, music was not good. I stayed in my adopted church for about three weeks and when my church couldn't take it anymore, they had to send someone to come and talk to me to go back that the church elders have forgiven me and the case was closed. That was how i returned back to my church.

True story

.... contd.....

Sometimes i begin to wonder if devil is only interested in me alone because na awkward moment he go to show up.

Instead of this girl to use her sense and decode that i am in the company of church people, naso she begin dey yell my name

Gofwane!
Gofwane!!
Gofwane!!!

I just lock up and comot my face from her direction. Our choir members begin to dey hear her calling my name naso all of dem turn around to see who dey shout my name.

Lo and behold it was an ashawo standing in front of their compound with her bleached face, big squeezed stomach and flat nyash

As dey turned and saw her they were like na your name she dey call, how you take know dat woman ?



... to be contd shortly

All this ashawo girls dey know how to disgrace person with their loud and big mouth wey be like say knock-out explode inside.

So there was this brothel in my hood back then, we used to go and smoke and drink there. There was this ashawo Aunty wey like to smoke weed so me and my guys used to help her arrange the weed.

Na so one day after we close from choir rehearsals the whole choir decided to pay the choir master a visit at home to greet his wife on her successful delivery of a baby girl.

On our way back, we passed in front of that brothel, na so dis ashana sight me in the group of about 20 choir members.

Hey God, which kind wahala be this...?

...... to be contd shortly

rebirthforgoody:
New year new life oooh.

yeah, new year, new life!!!

Timekeeper:
Gofwane, not worry. Will we be successfull. Keep working hards and loved God

thanks man, and wish you a lifetime of success in every one of your endeavours. God bless

My greatest fear is not being successful to the extent that i will be depending on my younger ones.

Fear of being the less successful one among my friends.

rebirthforgoody:
Hahaha this is funny

hahaha buahahahahaha very, very funny that i forgot to laugh

If I were to be in your position, i will do nothing about it. I'll just mind my business and hope that karma get to catch up with her.
This life is founded on some sort of principles. The guilty doesn't get to get away with their crimes, no matter how long it took before they were caught. It is that simple!

So @op, hold your peace.

Divinerace:
you-guys-went-to-land-of-the-dead-and-came-back-alive,-not-every-one-might-be-that-lucky.

exactly!

Being an EXTREMELY stubborn person, Some times when i sit down and begin to reminisce on the type of things i did in the past, i can't just help but call myself the LUCKY & SPECIAL ONE cos most of my friends are no where to be found right now.
What is surprising is that while i was busy with my worldly ways, i was still active in the church. We used to even make jokes about how one leg is in the road, the other one is in the bush. Smh...

God is truly merciful!

MiaB:
Below 5k broke student life

in a month or a year?