₦airaland Forum

slimyem:

someone already wasted my time for more than 3 years and i should still wait for another one who may not be to waste my time again.
And you know what, when he said "what you are looking for in sokoto is in your sokoto", i never knew he was referring to himself, so, if he didnt propose, i would have concluded about my mum's dream that "ala go"

Connoisseur: ^^over on track dey worry your post

thanks, thanks.

sholay2011: Don't mind her...that her post is just too on point! I only had one "like" but I wish I had 1000. Mr na sharp man...no dulling...


To my future wife: "Ohun to n wa lo Sokoto wa ni sokoto e oh! "

thanks and thanks.


And you know what, i never for one day thought abut us getting married, because, we were damn too close as friends......lol

chaircover: I have another question. If he doesnt propose, and deep inside of you, you feel that he is the one, then what do you do

one thing im sure of, is that i couldnt and cant propose to a guy, im very careful and calculative.
if he didnt propose after 6months of my mum's dream, im sure i will be bearing Mrs something else name by now, because, sincerely, so many suitors were begging out then........lol,

Wow!, very interesting thread!
Oh God, i came late, been very busy all through, God help women.




As for me, my own story be one kain o, i was a friend to him(hubby), i mean we were platonic in our friendship, but i never knew he liked to marry me, and also, was thinking i may not accept his proposal because of our closeness. He knew the guy i was hanging out with before, i use to confide in him of what happened between us, but the major problem i had with the guy is that , he tell lies too much, and when hes caught, he uses another lie to cover it up(and he claims to be a pastor o), so, i was fed up, i knew what i wanted, so, after much correction from my side, and his refusal to all, i decided to call the relationship off. I just told him straightaway, "please, since you know you dont want to change, and i cant spend my life with a perpetual liar, i will want us to quit this relationship". I said it, but it wasnt easy for me"(we've been together for more than 3 years). So immediately he left my place, i just went to my friend's place(now my hubby) and told him the decision i have made....lol, he answered..."fine, you deserve a better guy, and what you are looking for in sokoto is right in your sokoto". Initially, i didnt understand him, until one day he came to visit me and he met my pastor with me, so, he didnt stay long, after they left, my mum came to my place and told me she had a dream that me and that guy were under the same umbrella while rain was heavily falling, she said, the implication of that dream is that....."if he propose to me, i will not regret it if i accept, but that is if you like him o"
Well, we continued our friendship, without telling him anything, hoping that, if hes man enough, he will propose and the day he will do it, he just said......."how beautiful will it be, if we spend our lives together till the end of our lives, (not all this nollywood dramas o), he said it while we wese discussing, and he was sitting, well, as usual, i told him to let me pray about it, lol, after 5 days, he came to ask how far, i accepted, lol, and we got married exactly 2 years after.


Now, to your question, should i propose to him when he had not, well, to be sincere, i was too careful and too calculative for that, i dont think i can ever do it.

How do you know hes the one, my mum is "Joseph alala" virtually, all her dreams came to pass, plus, i have never heard about any bad report concerning this guy, we've been friends since primary school days.
Thank God, i have never regretted marrying him.

Gosh, sorry for long story.

#i will now go back to read the people's comment, i just hope my comment is on track.

@op,If this your story is true, then, all i can say is....



YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT MARRIAGE.

So, think deeply.

I do hope you undestand me.
May God help you.

Wow!!!
I love good news.
Glory be to God for safe and joyful delivery.
I thank God for seeing you through, God is indeed wonderful to you and all of of us. Im extremely happy for you. How are you and the precious baby, i believe you are both fine.
Love you
my regards to you and that lucky precious baby.
I pray that God who made way on the water for isrealites to pass will surely make a way for you, even at where you do not expect, and you shall have reasons to praise God, you shall not be put to shame and you shall never regret ever becoming a mother.
Cheers!

Im using you as a point of contact to all our expecting mothers on this forum for safe and joyful delivery IJN.



Expect my pm.

jennykadry: Lol @ All the examples and stories, for what really? Seriously y'all need to relax. No need explaining yourselves abi it's a sign of guilt ni? Y'all are forgiven so chillax make we hear word.

@coogar
Our parents told us same. I will be telling my children the same thing in due time. Premarital sex is bad and if they decide to go ahead as do it, na them and God go settle. If not.......

Like I said, the only reason why I mentioned bible is because the OP brought religion into this.

yeah @jenny, i never felt guilty or regret my action, IF its a sin, i believe God has forgiven me, my posts are in response to Efe's question.


Yeah, im going to also tell my kids what you said you want to tell your kids, its good, its the right thing to do, but after 19-20 years of age, they are answerable and responsible for their actions and decisions, so, which means, the decision to testdrive or not is solely dependent on them.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE................

There is this sister of ours, (my very good friend's sister).
She is good at this thing right from teenage years, she eventually became VERY good at it, she turned herself to all men's taste, once you have money, she will give in, she was virtually refeered to as "animasahun", she s my friends sister, she wasnt better than a prostitute, but a divine turn-around took place in her life, she was arrested by Jesus Christ and eventually gave her life to Christ. She s very zealous, very committed, dedicated, infact she became completely different and was a secondary celibate till she was married. She married late, because me and my friend got married before her, she just got married about 5 years ago. O.k, she saw this man in their church, they prayed about it, infact, we all loved the man, and we still do, fastforward, they got married and didnt do the do until after wedding, ok, we were all happy for THEM. We gave them time very well to enjoy each other very well before we visited them(me and my friend), so, after about 6 weeks, we decided to visit, when we got there, we met the two of them in the living room sitting adjacent to each other, we exchanged greetings, after a while, the hubby took excuse to go out, and immediately he left, we were free to crack jokes, so we were telling aunty....... That, "hhmm, aunty oju yin tin ndan gan o, e ti gbadun ara yin daadaa, oya, e wa gist wa, se abe yin ko i tii ya, etc(ha. Aunty, you are really looking good o, this man is really firing you wella, hope that yonder have not broken,etc) as we were talking, she was just looking at us, but the looking wasnt good at all, so, we asked, aunty, whats the problem, tell us, has the man been maltreating you or what, as she raiesd her head up to talk with us, it was tears that was rolling out from her eyes, she said "aburo, temi ti bami, this isnt marriage, this is bondage", so, we asked, what really happened, she said that man's thing is so small that he can never satisfy her se..xually, she described the man's as"when a cotton bud is used to stir a pot of stew" she said after about two weeks after the wedding, she had asked the man to leave her alone that the thing is even irritating her, she said shes now sleeping in the other room, so, we asked, what are you going to do now, she said "nothing, how can i say this in public, me a deacon, my hubby a pastor, she said, that is her cross to carry, so we advise, that she should just try and have at least 2 kids, she said...2 what i said this man's thing is too small to go down, not to talk of impregnating, we discussed alot, but one thing is sure from her words, shes not happy in that marriage, and shes completely regretting not "testdriving" before marriage.
Well, they are still together, no kid yet, but we are believing God for them to bless them and He will surely do.


Imagine, somebody who have gotten hold of different blokkos before and now get to the last busstop with this "oh God" kind of man.

Again, faith is good, but are we going to say this man didnt know himself well before getting married, why didnt he tell the woman how his thing is before marriage, isnt that hypocrisy on his part?, and this is part of the reason i did it about 5/6 weeks before my wedding, we've done the engagement, introduction, it was only 5/6 weeks before the church wedding that we did it, we have asked for forgiveness and God has forgiven us. He who the son sets free is free indeed.
May God help us all.

dayokanu: Is this possible or na fiction

How she come pee and menstruate

@dayo, strange things are happening, forget about menstruating, definately, she couldnt do that, but about pee, do women pee and menstruate via the same place. It happened, it was real, i heard from the horse's mouth, the road leading to jerusalem is the one that is blocked, not the whole va..gi.na, yes, the lady involved confessed, though, i wasnt there when she confessed, but i later heard that she said, she purposely married a very good xtian, because she believed that, with the good heart they(the real xtians) usually have, the man will help her out, of which she claimed that she was dissapointed, when asked why she didnt preinformed the bro, she said, it was out of fear that he will leave her.
@dayo,strange things happen o one thing i believe is that, if it was in an advance country, she would have been operated on since infancy and wouldnt have such stigma, but, i dont know why her parents left her without finding medical solution to her problem.
Well, if you dont believe, i wouldnt blame you, because, me sef will not believe if i didnt hear it from the horse's mouth.

Afi ki Olorun saanu wa.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]But what I'd really like to know (and I'm sure many people on here would too), is this: For those couples who stuck steadfastly to their beliefs and were able to 'crush' temptation only to find out that their spouse did have problems, how have they coped? How has it affected their marriages?[/quote]chai!
Mrs efe, you want me to talk and i didnt want to talk before o, chai!

With all sincerity, i have seen and heard about 2-3 cases where things fell apart after marriage se..xua.lly.

Let me start like this, before i got married, i was attending a penticostal church(name withheld), of which i was the youth president and anyone in such a position is automatically anointed as a functioning associate pastor, lol, ok, by the virtue of that position i held in that church(writing this with all humility)im automatically one of the workers and coincidentally too, i was a member of marriage counsellor of the church then, though i wasnt married, but i was thought to be a little bit intelligent, hence, my appointment.
Ok, fastforward, there was this brother who we all knew was a stunch christian to the core, he got engaged with this lady,(not our church member), brought her to the pastor, the pastor prayed for them and approved of their dating relationship, no need saying, they didnt "testdrive"(op's slang) fastforward, they got married, a real xtian wedding, lol, but after about 3 weeks, the bro came back to meet the pastor, our pastor travelled out of the country then, so he went to see the A.P, who said this is beyond him, that he will have to call the meeting of pastors and A. Ps, of which i was a member, guess what happened to our bro, the sister didnt allow the bro down there, they struggled for it for about 3 weeks, after which the bro decided to go violent about it, only to discover that the sis was a "lakriboto(i dont know the name, but its a va..gina without opening), the bro said he nearly fainted, and all that came to his head then was to come to the pastor.
The issue was so tense then, the S.P came back to profer a solution, because we couldnt profer any solution, and the solution the S.P suggested was that, the lady could be operated on, the bro insisted that he would like to divorce the lady on the basis of deception, but our S.P insisted that divorce is against God's will, you know what the bro left home for the sis without telling anybody his plans nor his whereabout and that was how we didnt hear anything about the bro again, until last year when i heard that the bro ran to PH and he had even remarried another woman and hes now a proud father of 2 kids.

Now, im not saying faith is not good, but we have a bunch of hypocrites out there who make faith diffficult for us to practise fully.
May God have mercy on all of us.
P.S, in my next post, i have another example, keep in touch.

@efe and donchris, its ok please, i think this thread should be a mirror of our past or proposed mistakes of life, not a thread to point accusing fingers, pls, biko, e joo, yankuri,let peace reign pls.
@all, i just want us to remember that we are all sinners saved by grace, for those of us that doubted God and did it, we knew it was a sin, we've asked for forgiveness and we believed that we've been forgiven, and for those who did not do it before wedding, im sure they must have commited other sins, though may not be related to pre-marital sex, but sin is sin and im sure they had also sought for forgiveness, which i believe they have been forgiven, hence, no saint anywhere, and no pointing of fingers to anyone, we are all sinners saved by grace and more grace we shall get to continue doing His will IJN.
Thanks.

As a matter of fact, this thread should be in jokes section.

folaked: Wath is 'LOBATAN'?. LOBATAN is when ur boyfrnd want u to meet his family,bt on gettin there, his elder brother happens 2 b ur Ex., his sister was d gurl u fought wit over a boyfrnd last week, his mon was d nurse that advice u nt to abort ur 6th pregnancy which u eventually did some months ago,his dad was d sugar daddy dat took u 4 a weekend fun to a hotel in abuja,who just bought a BB bold4 4 u....LOBATAN!

yes, "lobatan" is the title of that yoruba movie, it will be out soon.

@jidegirl, so, this is how you will scrutinize me and Mr when my boy want to take one of your princesses, thank God i have zero tolerance for nonsense and im sure i wont, not even my son nor his dad will subject ourselves into such ridiculous questioning or summoning.

Im sure keeping my distance


on a serious note, one can trace the kind of family one's child is going into, but doing it the way its described here speaks volume of that boy's family, and the lady, if she eventually marry the boy is in for a long thing, so, its better for her to run now.

As for me, i dont really believe that this story is fictious, because i have a friend whose almost what is descibed here happened to, i know and im aware, thank God the said friend of mine took to her heels(its a long story), now shes happily married to the love of her life(they even celebrated their 10 years wedding anniversary last month) and shes really enjoying her marriage now, i know because shes a very good and close friend to me till tomorrow. And for the other boy, i learnt hes yet to get married, i learnt all the ladies he took home usually took to their heels after discovering the stuff the boy's mum is made of. I dont want to mention name but the family is a very wealthy and prominent family in Lagos.
May God help us all.

@op, it depends on your personal family economic conditio.

@taryour, how far now
Is our baby still kicking or out to the world and you havent informed us, me, im craving for jollof rice o, even though, im aint preggy.
Wishing you safe delivery in Jesus name

Lol @ this thread


But, in all sincerity, how many really and sincerely wait till the wedding night before they do the do, yes, how many, truly, some may not go in yonder, what about the yeah, yeah during oral and "restricted intimacy", if you try to look at the "baba agba" whether it can raise up its head, its called "lustfull looking" which can be referred to as "sin of lookery" or you touch in order to feel its hardness, its called the "sin of touchery" or you even think it within you, how the thing is, you try to imagine the size within you, its called "lustful thought", so who is now really waiting till wedding night, who is sinless before the Almighty God, may God forgive all of us.
@op, to answer your question, it has to be accepted by faith "faith is the assurance of things not seen" says the word of God, so one has to accept by faith, however, faith pass faith, if one's faith no fit accept it, abeg, feel free to testdrive, one will ask for forgiveness later, but if your faith can accept, goodluck.
So many people today are using religion as an escape route, which has made us not to have complete trust in our men, we have seen ladies who no longer have wombs as a result of their waywardness, but later become "born again" in order to attract marriagable men, but will not tell the men how they have lived their lives, what about the "lakiriboto" women, who know themselves well, but used religion and "no sex till wedding night" to deceive the men, what about impotent men who knows how they are, but were believing that a miracle will happen after the wedding, of which they never told their intending wife but use religion to cage the woman. In any of the case above, the foundation of such marriage is deceit and divorce is allowed in the case.



Well, as for me, initially, i was practising "no sex until wedding night" until about few weeks to our wedding(may God forgive me) and i started ruminating on this type of questions raised by the op, and i gave in, about 5/6 weeks before wedding, we believe that God had forgiven us....lol.

NIGERIA.........................This country is highly blessed with so many resources but heavily cursed with bad leaders!
May God have mercy n this country Nigeria. Amen.

Dont drink bottled water In nigeria
Abeg dont let NBC(makers of eva water) and other makers of other bottled waters catch you for saying this o........



On a serious note, its only God that will save us, dont eat this, dont eat that, dont use this, dont use that, dont touch this, dont touch that......................................what else can we do, may God continue to protect us o.




In our own home o, we are addicted to Close-up and Dabur toothpastes, and im sure there is floride in them, what are we going to do

But, @op, i dont agree with that of Late Gen. Sanni Abacha, we all heard what killed that one, dont fool us and if you do, we refuse to be fooled.

Evil that men do live with(not after) them.
How can you blame them? when they know how poorly they have have equipped our hospitals with necessary medical facilities and who does not know that a hospital that is not well equipped is a hidden motuary, they know that they havent done the necessary things as far as equipping our hospitals with necessary medical facilities and equipment, hence, their fear of dying in these hospitals if they are not flown abroad.
May they continue to reap what they have sown bountifully.

@op, very well written, love it.
@all, its never too early and not too late to educate your kids on some of vital issues of life by the parents, because if we as parents fail to do it, others will do it, and most likely in a wrong way.
May God help all parents.

Funny but the truth there is that the bride is likely going to be a milky someone.
May God help her hubby

staicey: I have talked and talked, even we sometimes have fights over it. I'm tired honestly. I feel like running away

pls, dont run away, dont stain the pure record you have had, if shes adamant and insistent, endure for a while more, you will get married and be free forever.
May God help you.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]My sister, I dey o! Been sweating it out at the grinding stone called Nine-to-five six, my dear.

I'm good though. Missed you too! How are you and yours? [/quote]we are fine and im particularly happy reading your posts. Welcome ma.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]@OP, it's quite simple really...

Mummy's home, mummy's rules - until you move out...[/quote]where have you been since
Miss ya!

OMG!
If you are truly around 23 years old and your mum is still protecting you like this as if you are around 6 years old, then, one or more of these problems are involved.
Its either..........
1. She has not done what shes is supposed to have done as a mother, in the area of good upbringing, if she had done that rightly, she will have that trust and confidence in you that you will live by the morals she had imparted into you while growing up.
Or
2. She had given you the opportunity once and you misused/abused it by being heady or stubborn or wayward as a result of too much freedom, hence, her restrictions and overprotection.
Or
3. She was given too much freedom while she was a young adult and she abused it, in such a way that she ended up in a crossroad of life, which is not what she wanted in life, and of which shes afraid that if she gives you the same freedom, you may end up being like her.
Or
4. She has seen those signs of gross immaturity from you and shes afraid that you can be easily manipulated or used if she gives you the freedom you are asking for.


Anyway, since that is what you want, i will appeal to your mum to give you the freedom you desire and allow you to grow up, if you make mistake, you will learn from it, its called "primary experience" and its from this type of experience that makes an adult an adult.
And to you, my dearie, endeavour not to misuse/abuse the freedom when given.
All in all, if she insist, be rest assured that, she cant shield you forever, be patient with her, never be rude with her and when you are ready for marriage and you go, you are free forever.
I pray to God to give you the wisdom to go about everything rightly and timely.
Shalom.

Tammy13: I wish i had posted this question a long time ago, so that way I could have read this response sooner. He left last night while I was sleep and went to her. He called me this morning asking was I mad and that he was coming home to me and how he's so dumb for keep hurting me, blah blah blah. I have a tracking device on him, so I can see where he is at all times, he has one on me also. But he KNEW i could see that he was over there, yet did not care. He ran to her anyway. It troubled me because we had a GOOD day, no arguing, had just made love and everything else. Yet he still couldnt resist himself. Yes, this was unexpected. i never wouldve imagined he would leave me while im sleeping to go be with her, when before bed he told me how much he loves me and how good of a wife Ive been. but now im throwing in the towel.

Your statement is very powerful for others who are also in a situation like this. I just wished I read it much sooner.

hello dearie, its never too late, now that you know and are aware that you havent seen anything yet, i will imploy/beg/appeal/plead that for God's sake and also for your kid's sake, dont allow him to turn you into something else, be independent, make yourself happy, suround yourself with more positive-oriented people, never stay alone, and if you want to be, let it be with listening to your favourite music, all these in an attempt to prevent you from thinking too much which may lead to high blood pressure, pray more and always ask him if he really want you or the other woman or both of you, his responses will determine your next line of action, if you think his responses are poisoning to your soul, you should know what to do and above all, stop having unprotected s..e.x with him for now until you are able to trust him again.
One more thing, let his parent be aware of how hes shuttling between you and his baby mama.
May God help you and grant you the wisdom needed to act aright.