₦airaland Forum

Gender equality in this our present generation is not even helping matters, no one wants to be left behind, career-wise, as d husband is trying tirelessly to get to d peak of his career, so also d woman, leaving d care and d attention d kids needs in d hand of maids at one's own risk, because, no one knows d type of person d maid is..... houseboys molesting d girls and housegirls molesting d boys.....hhhmmmm, may God help us.



From d responses/comments so far, it can be deduced that women sacrifice more in favour of their family at d detriment of their career than d men and men sacrifice more in favour of their career at d detriment of their family, leaving their wives as d pacesetter of d family. Now, having known this, i think both d couple have to understand d roles each party play in moving the family forward and not complaining about each other, since they both complement each other.
May God help us all.

Eeya...sorry about your lost.....sincerely, i sympathise with you.
Now, to d issue, im not trying to support those pple o but let me ask, was your wife practising your religion or her pple's religion?
If its her pple's religion, then you should have been familiar with some of their principles.
If its your religion, i dont see the relevance of their authority on you, you should have done d right thing b4 involving them at all.
That being said, i will advise you not to press any charges against them, what is done is done already and no amount of court charges can undone what has already been done. Allow your wife's soul to rest and forget about them, so that you dont spend additional money after loosing your wife....use d money for d kids d deceased left behind, rather than wasting it on court cases, and let God judge between you.
Another angle i look at it is dt, even if she got d blood transfusion and she was destined to die that day, she would still die. So, let them be and let your wife's soul rest. It is well!
Once again, sorry about your loss, and may God give you d fortitude to beat d loss.

@op, na wa .......i read thru but sincerely, it almost cause me my eyes, first....by writing all with uppercase letters and secondly, all those grammatical blunders......they are just too many and too obvious.


@ post, there is nothing like re-incarnation here, its just one of d numerous ways by which those grandmas use to cool troublesome babies down.
I remember when i had my first baby, my MIL would say hes my FIL, that i should mind d way i talk to him, this happens when it seems d baby is being troublesome. If my mum also pay me visit, and d baby is crying, my mum will also tell me that d little boy is my own father......so, which one do i believe now? Also, my 2nd kid, who is a girl, each time she cry too much, while she was a baby,my MIL would take her from me and warn me seriously that, dont i know that she is d mother to my FIL. Now, all those attention is now on my baby, that one too is my FIL, as claimed by my MIL, so, who is my real FIL now? Or do i have 2 FILs?
The basis of my story is that, that is one of their numerous ways to calm and cool those babies down. As for me, when my baby seems to be troublesome, i sing to his/her ears, i speak softly to their ears and they stop ranting, why dont you ask your wife to do d same, instead of taking those grandmas too serious. Anyway, by d time you have your next baby, and they also call him your father, you will understand better.
May God help you.

@op, i really love your post, its insightful....i went over d post over and over and over and nothing to say than........a good job there.

Sometimes, i wonder why DIL and MIL do not really go well and i found out that, probably, d DIL prepared for war b4 even marrying d hubby, if a woman take time to study (know) d MIL well and do not get too close, there may not be any reason for rivalry between d 2 of them.
I recommend this thread for d singles, who hope to tie d knot someday, for healthy and peaceful inlaw relationship.
May God help us all.

@ mission 08 and Jesoul, thanks for d inspiring comments, i tell you, im really learning and i believe anyone who read this thread will also have something to learn.

@ damiso, thanks for this eye-opening comment of yours, really appreciated.



@okija-juju, you are equally well appreciated, but i will reserve my quetions to u until you finally upload.

Heeeeeee, u this govt officials, u better start doing well, d rate at which things are working against you calls for change of attitude, karma is not joking at all, karma really mean visiting you........ Cant you see?......heeeee, b4 its too late.....listen to pple' s wish and make them laugh again.


To d D.G, i wish her quick recovery, at least, she saw d need to be in good health and also to be effective in office and since her health is not allowing her to be effective, she has to listen to her health by resigning and taking good care of her health, not like some thers who would prefer to die in office that to resign and take care of their health.

This morning, a woman got querried because of her absence from work, the reason for her absence is dt her only child is terribly sick and that there is no one around to stay with d girl in d hospital, d hubby doesnt work in town, he had already travelled back to his place of work before d girl started d sickness.
On d other hand, we cant fully blame our boss for giving her querry as today is our first working day in d new year, so, no one should not be in attendance today after enjoying d long holiday.
Now, d basis of my story is dt, this woman will not be d first nor d last person to face such conflict between her carrer and her family. I remenbered i myself was given a querry some years back due to absence from work which has to do with pregnancy-related-problem. I also remenber a friend who missed her promotion,because she could not attend promtion interview of that year, because she put to bed on d D-day.
We have heard of cases where d husband will insist dt he doesnt want d wife to work in order to have full attention for d children, should we blame d man for not allowing d woman to excel in her career or for being selfish or should we blame d woman for being lazy and dependent.
Also, we have heard of cases where d father and d kids hardly know each other, because, b4 d kids wake up in d morning, d father is already at work and before d father comes back home, d kids are already asleep....which can go on for more than 3 months, now, do we blame d father....no!, because he is struggling for d sake of d children.
We have heard of cases where both d father and mother are hardly known by d kids, they have left all d care and attention that d kids need in d hands of their housemaids, to d extent that d kids even thought d maids are their parents....again, do we blame d parents for trying to get to d peak of their career?
Go to any motor park as early as 5a.m, you will be surprised at d number of men that are already settled for their daily work, are these men not fathers to some children.
Go to some markets, especially, in those busy cities like Lagos, PH, Abuja,etc as early as 6a.m, you will be surprised at d number of women who are already in their shops transacting business, are these women not mothers to some children?
You see so many troubles in marriage/family today, where career pursuance is d root of their problem, sometimes, we hear something like, "he/she doesnt have time for me nor for d kids, he/she only pursue his/her career at d detriment of d family", blah, blah, blah.....
Now, my question is, how do we balance up between our family and our career? Do we put family first at d detriment of our career or do we put our career first at d detriment of our family?
How do we balance up/settle d continous coflict between our career and our family?


P.S......this is a thread that need serious attention and mature responses. I, as well as very many people stand to learn so much from this thread, d4, kids should please keep off, except those who will contribute meaningfully and constructively.
Let us learn from one another, for the betterment of our career and our family. Thanks for your responses.

[quote author=Sadoluwa. Now]Sorry guys but I just had to open another ID to reply this thread.
I'm 99% sure this is one of my husband's younger ones and I will be giving you answers cos you asked the questions.

Yes I got married to your brother in 2004, January to be precise and till date we have no kids to call our own. Have you ever considered the fact that it is your brother that's been diagnosed with azoospermia whereby no sperm is produced. Are you also aware that your father which is my FIL also suffered from the same condition b4 he went with your mom to see a prpphet/babalawo and did one thing and one thing b4 they started having kids? Do you also know the genesis of the quarrel I had with your Sisters and with your Mom especially when she asked me to do same thing and I refused cos my faith would not allow me and most importantly I wouldn't want to put my unborn and innocent son(s) thru what my hubby is going thru.

You cant understand the reason the reason why I left. How can I remain when after spending almost a million bucks of my OWN to go for IUI using a DONOR sperm i still lost the baby after a dream attack which i'm sure is from your family. If not for God on my side I would have died between sept-jan 2005-06 when you people came against me (Another long story). Any sane person wouldn't want to have anything to do with your type. Its so unfortunate that a Jewel like my husband would come from a family as bad and evil as yours but I know my God is not sleeping. This is my year and I will excel and have my babies this year 2013 no matter what you people do or say.

As per me spending your brothers money, do you even know where the money comes from? remember I also work and my wages is almost getting to 7 figs monthly. I bet you didn't expect that.

If not for the my Christian upbringing and conscience that wouldn't allow me remarry.......... The whole lot of you would av been in my past by now.

I want to believe you guys haven't started putting pressure on your other brother's wife, at least their own marriage is just abt 2 yrs. My advise to you too is to get yourself tested, since the problem seem to be hereditary.

Eyin oloshi jatijati, Evil pple.

May God have mercy on me and forgive me.

I also apologise to well meaning pple for the mumbo jumbo, I'm not in the best frame of mind and wouldn't wish what I'd been thru on anyone else.[/quote]chai!!! Yawa don gas o
op, come back and defend yourself........
When you refuse to mind your business.......can you see now!

Singing......oro tokotaya, e ma dahun si o........

tellwsdom: [size=8pt]

But not with the love of this present gurls, we have this 21century...You are not exceptional

you are better ignored!

Yes.
That is what ....."till death do us part" means.

I love this....... Seems many of us xtians have forgotten that there is no church in heaven, and that there is only one true God.
Im a xtian, but sincerely, i dont like d division in xtianity, that is d only thing i envy about islam.
May God help us all.

I believe in temperaments, but not in all these horoscope rubbish.

Well, that is how some people are, they believe that once you travelled out of d country, you never have to work hard b4 you get money and that they are here to help you spend d money. What they are suffering from is lack of self esteem/respect. So, thread with caution when trying to help pple financially, because, if you dont let them know your stand, they will surely come back for more.


Even, those of us in nigeria experience the same thing, for reasons best known to them, some pple just believe that you are better off than them financially, hence, coming to you for financial assistance, which they never refunded, some are not even shameful at all, they live in the same area with you, borrow money from you with a promise to refund 2 or more days later, they will not refund d money, they will not come to give you reasons for not yet refunding your money, and when they see you, they will greet you without feeling ashamed.
We (i&hubby) have really learnt our lessons in a very hard way.

As im typing now, im feeling very angry and bad about a certain person, d person is our neighbor. In August last year, he came to us that he wanted to withdraw money from d ATM, and that d machine swallowed his ATM card and that there is no way he could lodge his complain, since it was a weekend and that he needed d money urgently and that he would refund d money on Monday when he might have settled with d bank, with his explainatin, we took him serious and gave him d money, since then, he has not refunded d money, and d most annoying part is that, we see ourselves everyday, no explaination, no apology, no refund, infact, he never behaved as if he collected anything from us, each time i ask my hubby to ask for d money, he always said, there is no need to, but one thing he is certain of is that, he can never come to us again for financial assistance. Can u imagine? So, we learn everyday, we have decided not to give out d money we cannot forget about.
May God help us all.

Silencer1: BOTH EQUALLY!
They both have their strengths. . . and weaknesses!

yes, this is how it should be, but what happens when one totally abandon his/her responsibility to d other.
For this, my mum gets my honour first and more.

We both use each other.


Some believe its their first child, but each to his/her own. Its my hubby anyday!

What is happening on dis thread?

I've always said it and i will say it again............
Next to God's love is the mother's love.

By the time they come around, tell them you are about to sleep or you are about to go out, by d time you tell them that for about 2 to 3 times, they will get the message.

How are your inlaws d devil of d house.
Just remember that every daughter in law is a potential mother in law.






Im out

@ op, you have already opened this thread before and it was widely tackled, i dont know what you stand to gain by repeating a thread in less than a month. Or may be you thought you will be paid based on how many threads you are able to raise.

https://www.nairaland.com/1128590/why-pregnant-women-attached-safety-pin

You are probably suffering from "inferiority complex" You need to tackle that first.


when next you see d lady you like, sum up d courage to talk to/with her...and when you are talking, look her straight in d eyes. That is d starting point, that should help you going. Goodluck.

Now somebody will come and say ladies are weak s..ex, so, what is dis op.......weaker s..e.x or weakest?

Smh....

[quote author=Brand_new]Some people just don't appreciate the negative effect of cyber bullying on people's minds, especially the socially mal adjusted ones.
Nairaland is full of such people and there are no strict rules as regards that.[/quote]may be a little more enlightment will help people to understand more.

@ op, are you saying it is now a spell/crime for a man to love his wife?

That is d wierldest thing that can be imagined not to talk of happening to me.



You never can tell what you can do until it happens, but i dont pray it happens to me.

Madam debrief, there is no much to say here,.....they are simply hypocrites...... you have already said it, they use it to gain pple to their side, which to me......its hypocrisy.....anybody that see them while crying will sympathise with them, thinking that they are real, whereas, in their inner mind, they know what they are doing and they most times get what they want, unless they are attacked by someone wiser than them.
We have them all around us and we need to distinguish them from the sincere emotional women.
Im emotional too, but also factual when need be.
May God help us all.

seedord247: Where can i get one?

its in you, you just need to bring it out and act on it.
May God help you.









Im out!

seedord247: Men cant move their eyes away from this thing below.

all you need is "self control"

The date on d wedding certificate!

This is one of d wrong reasons for getting married,,,,,,"ehnnnnn, all my younger ones are married, i must get married this year by fire, by force, therefore, if any guy should come my way, i wont even hesitate before marrying him"

if one is not careful, and end up caging him/herself because of frusration, desperation and pressure from pple, it is that person that will suffer for it, it is better to wait for one's time than rushing into marriage without necessary consideratin, consultation and preparation. Destiny differs, d bible says, even, if d vision tarries, it shall surely come, and also that there is time for everything.....time to learn, may be God is preparing you to learn. So, relax, everybody's time will definately come, dont be bitter, dont be frustrated and dont be too hasty or desperate. As for those who are already married, rejoice with them, learn from them and you stand a chance of even knowing more than them before getting married, which is always an added advantage.
I, as a person got married at d age of 30, and thank God, i never regretted getting married at that age, i was able to learn more from my married friends and siblings, which is one of d things im applying and enjoying in my marriage.

Above all, you deserve to be happy, life is more important than marriage, i mean, its better to remain single than go into marriage for wrong reasons and experience hell in d marriage. If you ever see who is in wrong marriage, ask d person, he/she will tell you that, it is better to remain single than get entangled in a bad/sour marriage.
May God help us all.