MrBrownJay1:


i wish you could tell that to the millions of women that expect to be pampered and taken care of, solely because of big bootay/tittays...

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,


I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had , I served in a village. while we were serving he doesn’t give me much , I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place ,he had a roommate and I didn’t , before he gives me any money we always had issues , not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to . I don’t even ask for much .

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year , got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up , his just passed , I told him that I would expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday , that if money cms he will send but right now he has no money ,, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me , he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away n he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us .


Am tired , he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on he’s friends and it annoying , i think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it , I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him . He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

You did the right thing. Men like that always pick ambitious women as they know they have someone to depend on during rainy seasons. Better a man with less who is generous than a man with plenty who can’t add to your life. Men always want to hide behind this gold digger thing. No woman is a gold digger. Biblically the man is meant to be the provider. This doesn’t mean take advantage of him but a man should be able to support you. Even in the small way he can.. run from that relationship run

badtlimo:
we had sex just Once March 16 and she saw her period that same March and also April but she’s supposed to see her period on the 22 of this month but it still hasn’t come ..note... she doesn’t have any pregnancy symptoms

dontammy:
Good morning Nairalanders, my story is quite long. But please bear with me.

I met my Baby mama Late 2015 via social media (Badoo). We had a great relationship dating. It's almost like we are made for each other. Fast forward a couple of months I felt like I have found my missing rib. I popped the question January 2016 and she said YES. I had plans to settle down before the end of 2016.

I lost my job few months into 2016 and things fell really apart for me. I could not carry-on with the marriage like I planned. Towards the end of 2016 she concluded a business that raised her around 450k. Because of how things were so difficult, she gave me the money to buy a car so I can use it for taxi. I did so. We were managing good. She got pregnant and gave birth to my son in 2017.

Fast forward 2019 I got a job as an assistant manager at a hotel. Thats when we started having issues. Because I had to move out to my place of work in another state.

Honestly I have never been the faithful type of guy. But I have never let that change my feelings for her. Because I really love her.

She knows that I am not really faithful but She had never really felt insecure since we were always together. But when I moved out it became one problem after another. I started making arrangements for the wedding with the little money I have been able to save. At least to get the traditional marriage done. The wedding was supposed to be in November 2019. September 2019 she had an accident. I spent every single dime I had to pay the hospital bills. I even borrowed money. Thanks be to God she is fine today.

So at the end of 2019 I resigned from the job and moved back to the house, so peace would reign and to avoid all the insecurities.

Currently I am job hunting, but yet she has gotten worse. When I go out to make contacts she accuses me of going out with women. I am the kind of guy who has hot temper and she has hot temper too. Many times when complains and scream down the house, I don't say anything because that is how I have trained myself to control my temper. Because if I respond to everything she says I will definitely end up beating her. So I keep quite.

I have always been the one cooking our meals because I am a very good cook. And she loves my cooking. Now she nags about me cooking my meals when she is at home.

I am seriously considering to opt out. But I am considering our son. I came from a polygamous family. She too is from a polygamous home. I am trying hard to make sure that we break that bond. But she is pushing me to quit. She keeps telling me that if I am tired of the relationship, I should let her know and walk away.

Please advise me, how should I handle this situation. I am on the verge of giving up. My son is kinda the only thing keeping us together.

No insults please.
Thank you.

Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

badtlimo:
I and my girlfriend had sex middle of March ones without protection, fast forward to ending of March she saw her period same with April.. now she called me three days ago that is was suppose to see her period on the 22 of this month and she hasn’t ...please is it possible for her to be pregnant cause of what we did almost three months ago ...although she said she doesn’t have any pregnancy symptoms ....pls I need urgent advice

kingoftech:
While Nigeria has okay 24years jail term for homosexuals, we at Zera Technologies and other well meaning Nigerians are routing for death sentence!!

It will end in tears.

Carchoice:
I had a girlfriend I loved so much for 4 years but I ended things with her few days ago. She's not honest.

Before then, I met this other lady and we have only met just three times, on these three occasion she won't stop teasing me that I have a big head. She was very free and jovial about it. I was surprised a lady I just met feels very comfortable to tell me that.

Just three days ago I picked my phone and called my girlfriend, I told her to open my picture in her phone. She did. Then I asked her; "is my head big?"

She kept quite for some seconds before she let out a little laugh. She wanted to know why I asked, later she started giving comparison of my head to other people's head and objects too.

I started reminiscing on all the times I looked in her eyes to tell her sweet things. While she was looking at my head. That was it. She's gone now.

Norahsthought:
Hey guys, so a little background story. I'm 25, finished school quite early (schooled abroad), and got a good headstart. I am pretty comfortable, I have a good job with a great growth trajectory. So really, I'm focused on my career right now and not particularly interested in starting a family soon.

So here's the real story. I have two male friends who have shown interest in marrying me. They are both doing very well and from equally good backgrounds. I initially wasn't interested in marriage (at least for now) but you know friends and family. I am not in love with any of them or even with anyone at the moment (I am a woman of war lol) but they are both great guys.

So my challenge now that I have decided to be open to marriage is this, how do I choose? Should I even listen to the advice of friends and family to open up to getting married to one of these men or should I just wait till when I feel ready? I need advice and please be nice.

IvarDboneless:
Hello friends..I greet all of una.

please I need more insight on this from our matured and experience couple's in the house.

I am planning on divorcing my wife and we have a baby together (she will be a year and 3months this month) and she's threatening to have custody of the baby and I want to go pick her up and take her to my mum but I am a little bit confused so please I need more insight on this....

NB: after our marriage things got worst for me and I had to move her to her parent house after she declined going to our own house reason because she feels more at home in her parent house (that's what she said) but once in a while she visits our own house. we finally finished our own building with furnishing and i insisted she move to my parents after complaining Everytime about money and things not so well at her own parents( she's the last child of 7children 4 girls 3boys and she is the only one married and they all still stay at home, with there parent, the girls) but she always find one excuse or the order not to go stay at my parents..my mum is a very kind woman and she always want to help in her own way but I still don't know why she can't leave her parent house..well this is not the reason am divorcing her anyway bexause this is just a tip of the iceberg..she believes she is a feminist and can not be told what to do anytime we have an argument...well don't want to bore you all with everything have been going through...
just more insight about the heading above please..kids please stay away matured minds only..thanks

Muna4real:
Hey guys. There is a funny scenario playing out in my compound right now. My neighbor is from Enugu. His son is planning to marry a woman from ohaji in IMO State. Her people are saying that the bride price is just one million naira . The problem is that his wife is angry at the amount and is threatening to call down hell if her son pays the bride price. She said that it's better her son marries another woman.

So now over to you guys (the men) "what is the highest amount you can pay for a woman's bride price". The woman you love ohh.

No insults please.

theplushist:
Her Pen Name is City Girl and she is from Kenya
http://manly.ng/nigerian-men-are-conmen/

iod69778:
I am a 40 year man living in the states. I am considering ending my marriage which is without a child at this time. Childlessness is not the only or most important reason i am considering ending my marriage, there are other reasons which are not relevant to this discussion. My question is, should i try to date and find love again or just find a surrogate mother to have kids for me soon, considering my age? My main reason for considering surrogacy is because i am a very busy man with work and career focus, middle class American. It may take time to find the right someone.

Please be mature with your comments.

imaomoruyi:




Lol.....Though, I don’t see how it will help but its pretty good. .. It’s over 700!

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

Godoverevery:

So u think if a man provides that what makes a woman submissive and respect him
See my sister is about mentality and upbringing..... anyone can be the breadwinner of the house it just boil down to how much value they place on each other and understanding.

As a woman in D's modern age I think it is totally unreasonable to depend on man for your needs becos I no how some married men rubbish there wife who totally depend on them for everything.
Wat if he decides to leave.... how will she survive or don't u see the rate at which marriage crash ds days.

Oluromantic:

Prove your point

Oluromantic:
It's part of it... especially those raised with poor self worth. Illiteracy as well as poverty are also major contributors. Mind you there are educated illiterates.

If you take a very good survey on girls/ladies, it's those who are poor or have very limited income source or those with inferiority complex that have such mentality, it's the same group of girls that have ferocious needs to the level of going into prostitution to meet those needs cus asking for money and gifts in exchange for romance or attention is prostitution already..call it whatever. Some even expect their bf to raise tuition fee for them thru out sch. And they're ready to hop from guys to guys just for money and gifts.

Girls who come from well-to-do homes or have a great sense of worth would not do such, she would take gifts if given (all girls love being appreciated) but not like her life, well-being, loyalty, future, fate, opportunity and all her entirely relies on it. She may not even be rich or have all her needs met, but would just be romantic naturally. If gifts come, it's a plus. And out of her token, she will share with you.

mikeget804:
Dear Ladies,

A woman who cannot make her hair without corporate begging will call a guy BROKE.

A slay queen that cannot subscribe her phone without sending “Can you do me a favour..?” to a random male on Facebook, Instagram, NL, Twitter will call a guy broke.

A lady who does nothing than to jump around indiscriminate dates eating and waking to form fake life on Instagram, Facebook, NL, Twitter will be calling a guy who hustles; pays house rent, feeds himself, does everything for himself, BROKE.

A lady who is jobless and lazy will come on Nairaland and argue how she can't marry a man who doesn't earn 250k a month.

Isn't it laughable that women who cannot foot their bills call men BROKE for not doing it for them?

Ladies, I wish you'd understand how cheap it sounds when you bash a guy who didn't give you money for hairdo.

I wish you'd understand how hungry it sounds when you say a man who can't buy cold stone ice cream on a date is not manly.

Please, stop demanding from men what you don't do for yourself. Before you call a man broke, it should be because he can't take care of himself not because he can't carry your personal burdens. In that case, you're the broke one!

Build yourself, think, create, aspire, and pray for a wealthier you. Stop going around shaming yourself, telling stories of how a guy couldn't buy common KFC chicken during a date. Madam why couldn't you buy it?

If we critically examine most ladies the way they examine many men, you'll see that many ladies are BROKE, HUNGRY, and LAZY but forming slay mama. Meanwhile the guys are resourceful for themselves.

Go and get a life without feeling any man has to do it for you. Get financially independent and then you can talk of not wanting to marry a broke man. It freaks me out when I hear broke and lazy girls saying they can't marry a man who doesn't earn up to 250k a month.

You lack moral justification to bash broke men when you are broke.
Besides, these days no dude wants a broke woman. We know better now. I'm working hard to be financially stable because I want to attract a financial stable woman too.

When women like Linda Ikeji is talking about not marrying a broke man, lazy and entitled fake slay queens are also talking. Go and be rich first then I'll have no problem with you going around calling hardworking men BROKE.

Note: this write up is also for all the SIMP that are encouraging our ladies to live fake & entitled life style at d expense of their families & fellow guy man.

Start aiming for the Stars instead of Cars.
VISE VERSA.

Stay Safe........



Cc: GreatResearcher1, Martinez39s, Omar09, XhosaNostra

Trayceey:
Fellow nairalanders,

I have a pressing issue on ground and I need your contribution. My boyfriend has been working for about 5 years now. We've been dating for a while now and he has been so nice and caring. The best ever.

In my past experience in relationships, I have been quite generous but the guys turned out to be ingrates so I vowed never to give any boy my penny again.

When I met my man, he melted my hardened heart with the love he showered on me. On one occasion, I have borrowed him money and he paid me back. Now he's asking me to borrow him another money. Because of this lockdown, he has gone so broke and he opened up to me. Initially, I did not believe him but when I noticed he has run out of food stuffs and the provisions he normally stock his house with, I believed him. I have more than enough money. The money he's asking for is like chicken change to me. But I don't want him to get used to borrowing from me and I have vowed never to give a guy my money again except if he's my husband.

Please I need advice. Fellow ladies like me, what do you think? Should I borrow him?

History555:
I need candid advise pls no insults. I got married 2years ago, of recent i noticed my wife has been spending so much time online. Not that its unusual to me because i know shes kind of addicted to her phone.
But suspicion made me pick the phone on several occasions but it was paasworded. Finally i was able to discover the password after many trials and to my surprise she has been chatting steadily, morning and night with this guy.
Not only that the guy calls her sweet names and she responds. Even to the extent of telling her he wished they were married. Her response showed she was receptive to the idea. Then she asked him why he did not make a move since and he blamed his financial status.
In summary i hve seen enough, though i hve neva confronted her. My plan is to inform my people b4 calling the marriage off.

castrokins:
I Feel Terrible About Your Experiences. And Moreso, The Guy Who Traveled Back To Marry His "Real" Girlfriend After Securing His Papers With Another Lady. I Read About This Quite Often. Why Do Some People Feel It's Okay To Use People As A Means To An End?

khiaa:


You are so naive about white men and their family troubles. White men cheat on their wives/women just like any other race of men.

Garrieveryday:
K

Bellotelli:
Am in love with her elder sister

Ximenez:
I think the issue is from a long time ago. But still, it's very wrong for someone to pass judgement on a one sided story.

You made it seem like you were the angel through out the course of the relationship and he was the devil.


Were you perfect through out?
Didn't he do anything for you? No matter how small, because i believe nobody is completely useless.

Did you do something for him and kept on hammering it into his ears thereby increasingly bruising his ego?

Did you at one point lost it and insult him or his background?

Did you take his peace away with constant nagging?

You don't really need to answer those questions, but the truth is that women love to play the victim role no matter the circumstances.
I'm sure if we ask him to recount his own ordeal, we might hear different things entirely.

esti98:
A man is designed to woo a woman by proving to her that he is capable of taking care of her emotional, financial, spiritual and other needs. If a man is being taken care of by a woman, she somehow emansculate s him. She is indirectly telling him that he is not man enough for her needs. A man needs to make his own money to feel good about himself. If he isn't earning any money, no matter how much you give him, he will still feel bad with himself. After a while, he may begin the resent you and see you as bossy, pushy and overbearing.

I learnt this in a hard way, from experience.

Ximenez:
Haba! You seem like one to complain/Nag a lot and now you've added cursing to it.

Well, i don't know about other people, but i wouldn't advise any man to go close to any woman with this two traits.

Evercurious:


My dear that was just mind game. Always making you apologise for doing nothing wrong even when he is at fault. It's just to destroy your self esteem