Oksman:


People like you have nothing to offer. Morally it's is wrong, societally it is repulsive, and spiritually, I doubt if you are. Even female animals do respect the alpha male in their territory! Sometimes our comments portray the deep temptations we are unable to express because of certain hindrances.

What is this one saying? Oga go and sit down, using big big grammar with no common sense. I am monogamous i have never cheated not even in a single relationship. You have no point and you’re going off topic. You want to dish but you can’t take it.. I’m here for you

HeavenlyCherub:


Of course. Because you have no point your best response is to insult me. Your mother is foolish.. nonsense. What did I say here that’s not straightforward. Instead of deceiving people just be honest you will find women who want to be polygamous with you don’t deceive someone into a commitment they didn’t bargain for

They’re women out there who want polygamy and equally some men want polyandry. It’s essential male and female specify preferences instead of cheating.

Emmanuel909090:


Says a foolish woman.

Of course. Because you have no point your best response is to insult me. Your mother is foolish.. nonsense. What did I say here that’s not straightforward. Instead of deceiving people just be honest you will find women who want to be polygamous with you don’t deceive someone into a commitment they didn’t bargain for

larryking540:
most men especially the Nigeria man above 20 years have failed in more than one part or neglected some things in life ,
guys I will keep repeating money can't buy love ,the earlier you knows this the better for you guys /men /males /kings.

I see a lot of guys doing all sort of things to make money mostly illegal name it yahoo , fraudulent activities all to impress a lady, forgetting what they call self development ,I was shock to see a fraudster who handles laptop day in day out ,but can't even draft a cv .
kings ,u can use money to impress a lady but not for long till her eyes becomes clear that the other guys coming around her are way better than you,and are more of high value than you .

guys develop your self ,its very important

Vert true. I would rather have a guy who’s is comfortable who respects me, Listens as much as he speaks and loves me genuinely. Men are always complaining someone is not submissive but what are you representing for us to submit to. A woman is like a tree its up to you to water it for it to give fruit or let it die. How can an unhappy woman make you happy? Love is easy, humans are complicated

pakingzzzzz:
Hello.. I'm Kingsley. From Abia state currently residing in Lagos.

I'm a mechanical fabricator.
Aged 34yrs. I'm around 5.9ft tall. Average sized. Not too muscular
I'm searching for a down to earth woman. Not a Muslim. Has something doing.
Age range;26-33yrs.
Gold diggers are a complete write off!

I can be reached via email kingsleyobinna26@gmail.com

Or Whatsapp 090-454-2241-1
Please if you have nothing meaningful to say, kindly skip to next thread
Thank you for reading.

Please what is a wife material? Oga there’s no woman on earth who wants to suffer. If you can still refer to someone as a gold digger you’re not ready for marriage.

Good luck to you

JONSYN7154:
The rate at which married women cheats these days is so alarming. What's happening?

Two married women were caught cheating few days apart in the same area.

Why do married men cheat. Women are tired of double standards. One good turn deserves another, treat others how you want to be treated. Better for you be transparent and inform someone you can’t do monogamy than deceive them.

airminem:

Im asking as I have an upcoming wedding of a friend. Your help is appreciated

Hello all,

Every time I go to a wedding as a bridesmaid or friend I’m always so confused on how much I need to spend as I don’t want the other party feeling as if they are not worth the splurge.

A cousin had a wedding recently and I was a bridesmaid I believe I spent $500 usd on personal expenses - dress, makeup etc and for her shower and gift I spent roughly $500. I don’t know if I was super cheap as I’m very frugal lol.. I worry a lot about the future.

Back to the question. When you attend a wedding are you expected to buy a gift and then spray money or you pick one? How much do you think is reasonable amount to buy a gift or spray?

How much to spend on a family member vs a friend.

Thank you all for helping me with this.

BadRadio:
Is there a perfect approach to end a relationship without hurting a partner?

Maybe the relationship gets too boring often or perhaps u both are not compatible in anyway or perhaps u both want desame thing but in different ways and style.

Maybe u care about this person but u dont want to hurt their feeling and you know it is best that u both parted ways.

How do u go about it?

Pray and make sure this is what you truly want. All relationships get like that sometimes but envision your life without this person forever. Once you come back to your senses they migjt not take you back. If things are ok between you. Don’t take someone for granted

I dated 2 so I can help with your question. When I met them they never told me they did 419 it was only after I had fallen in love and the deal was sealed they confessed. At first I always used to question “if one can lie to a maga 24/7 what of me?” I always thought it would be hard to discern when they’re sincere or not. BUT believe it or not they both actually loved me and were sincere. I never liked it when I first heard about it but I was more accepting when they told me their background. Sometimes in life people need to do what they got to do to survive. There’s a difference between someone who plays the game and gets out and someone who wants to keep playing forever. At the time I dated these gentlemen I was in Asia- we moved to a first world country however they wanted to continue to play than to embrace the opportunities presented and go legit. This is where I threw in the towel - for some people, it is no longer about surviving but extravagance and maintaining a lifestyle. Another thing about yahoo boys, they tend to lavish money easily and like to date a stable girl who can assist in times of drought. You also need to always be ready that they can be taken away at any moment and you could be left alone or with kids. If the police don’t catch them you also worry about things going wrong with the deal and the people involved - as one person decides to get greedy when money is being shared. I wouldn’t date a yahoo boy or be serious with one. Even the thought that the foundation money used came from stealing doesn’t sit well with me., people have died,divorced due to Yahoo. If the foundation we establish our home is not secure, what sbout the main structure?

TheLordofHost:
I knew this girl for just a month then she got pregnant. Begged the fool to abort but she refused. She kept on asking me to marry her but I explained to her I wasn’t financially capable.

I cut her off for some months thinking that would make her get an abortion but for where?? The goat kept it. She guilt tripped me with tears and constant calls. I finally went to meet her family (she was about 7 months gone by then) to take responsibility of the pregnancy.

I was employed then but the job was shittty and the pay was shitttier. I sent her the little I could. She had the baby at her mum’s place .

She, her mum and her elder sister kept on calling me to curse me that I wasn’t sending enough money for the baby’s upkeep. I was earning 11k a month and sending 4k monthly to this ungrateful bitch.

I couldn’t keep u with the insults, I changed my line, changed my address and began anonymously sending the little I could to her bank account monthly because my conscience couldn’t let me ghost my child.

We live in different states, about 8 hours apart. The child is a year old and some months now.

I was surprised when this Devil came to my place last week with the baby. I was expecting shouts and quarrel but she was calm. She and the baby sat on my bed. We didn’t say much to one another. A few minutes later, her phone rang, she went outside to receive the call and didn’t return.

I searched for this bitch like a mad man till night fell. I don’t even have her phone number. A female neighbor offered to care for the baby that night.

The Devil called me and told me not to bother looking for her. She said her mum is late and they have relocated.

I have dropped the baby at my aunt’s place and promised to pick her soon. I gave my aunt the last 3k on me. My aunt has been buzzing me with calls to come and take the baby as she is very busy.

My babymama’s number is not going through. I have tried repeatedly. My mum is late, I am thinking of taking the child to an orphanage.

I don’t know what to do. I am really sick right now from overthinking and stress. Please I need good advice.

You are devilish for getting her pregnant and having sex raw with someone you barely know. How would you like if someone impregnated your daughter and didn’t want to take responsibility. If you’re not ready for the responsibility don’t have sex, nonsense

Snitch24:
How una take dey get mind do this kine thing
Bleep person wife
Another person wife ooh
Imagine someone else is doing it to ur own woman
How u go feel bro
What is the essence

It’s not even about the husband finding out. What of God? Hmmm .. they no fear

pryme:


Never take a woman that live their life on social media seriously.

Are you saying you can’t find a good woman online? I don’t think it’s about where you meet someone but who they are at heart. You can meet someone at church and they will be a devil and you can meet someone in a club and they can be a good person. Be careful not to miss your blessing judging a book by its cover

Qatar2022:
I can't date such girl because she can never be faithful because I'm not the only one that admire her

Even if your woman is not on social, she still has admirers and toasters

Hi everyone,

I would really want to know what men feel about the women/girls that post pictures on social media. Can you marry an influencer or a girl who blogs. Im not referring to the females that are twerking online. I’m referring to ladies that carry themselves well and post pictures both fully clothed/bikinis?

Does this make you judge a girl? Are they suitable for marriage? For those that have actually got to know one, was she what you thought she was when you got to know her on a personal level?

Stephen2324:
“I need some space “,What does this mean in a relationship?

It means the relationship is over.. is it a football match that in needs half time?

lawrenzooo:
I have been in a relationship with a lady for the last 6 years and last year and the relationship produce a son last year.
As it stands now I don't intend proceeding with marriage as we have had so many issues along the line.
The problem
I intend sitting down with her to have the conversation and discuss the baby's upkeep.
However some people think I should just keep my distance and she would get the message rather than discussing it with her but then again a child is involved that I have to cater for.

You advice would be welcome
Am a bit confused as to how to go about the whole thing.

So it’s after you defiled her and made her a single mom that sense came to you. God punish you and every single man like you who uses another mans daughter.. nonsense

mamagee3:
Hi all, my cousin(s) stopped liking my photos, did not wish me a happy birthday and did not bother to congratulate me after I graduated.She stopped doing this after I congratulated her on her own graduation.

She has been liking my other cousin’s photos instead but ignores my own posts and photos...

My aunt has also stopped liking my photos and posts and instead has switched to liking her children’s posts and photos and that of my cousin that has been ignoring my posts.

Is this weird?

My darling Angel. You’re not being paranoid.. I know a lot of people will tell you you’re being childish and likes and validation from your own family don’t matter but I want you to know you’re not crazy. It is only human to need support from the people you love.

Unfortunately that is how people behave when they’re intimidated by you, they sense God given grace in you aura, or are jealous. People nowadays think withholding likes will mess with your head and that is why they do it. Its sad we can’t be adults and inform the next person how they wronged us and we can’t look past jealousy.. instead we resort to wanting to clip the next person wings.

I just want to reassure you. Not a hater, not an ex, not a hex can ever stop God’s plans for your life. Be encouraged.. Don’t worry they will come back when good things happen and favor shines on your life. I bless you even though the world may curse you. They will come back and act like they have amnesia on how they treated you. I give you 2 options. 1. Match their energy, they like one you like one. They don’t? Also don’t. 2. Continue to like regardless.

Im sorry this is happening to you. Family can be such bullies

debbydams:
lol..love is overrated..I don't get moved with i Iove you..I fell in love with good attitude nd calmness..lemme share mine sha.

Babe said lemme just put the tip I said okay that was how we had sex o

He told me he loved me but I never gave up sex. I just feel men who do this are narcissistic. Its sad that most men have ruined love.. everyone says it so much I no longer believe it. I can care but love I don’t think so. Humans are very selfish… the tip is never the tip alone lol…

L4stl00k:
Girls What’s The Craziest Lie A Guy Has Ever Told You Just To Have Sex With You?

I love you

kinglaxon:
A friend of a friend is asking me to marry him so he can get his american papers (as I am a Us citizen), he is offering me 10k usd, I have been asked this many times by other people and have always declined, however i am wondering if i decide to do this. (since being in canada and now going through canadian immigration i now understand and feel sorry for people who have a hard time getting their status). what are the risk and what are the steps , i am not wanting to be inconvenienced and of course would be scared of doing fraud, a friend of mines who is a nigerian guy just married a white lady for his papers and he says that it is not a big process, well any information, or thoughts is welcomed,

You will be in it for a very long time.. I’m based in the US we can chat if you like. Its easier said than done.. good luck. 10k is very small for the stress

cryingeyes:
I met a guy two months ago. He's a Nairalander but not an active one. He's Ibo, while I'm Yoruba. He's 40, I'm approaching mid-30s next year. When we started talking we realized we're in the same country outside Nigeria and he just so happens to live in the city I've been wanting to move to, which we thought was an interesting coincidence. This city is a 3-hour flight away.

We would talk on the phone almost daily. A month later/early last month, he asked me to be in a relationship with him and I accepted. I told him about the things I've been through. He promised to love me unconditionally and never leave me. We never argued once. I thought I had met an amazing man with all the qualities I'm looking for. I don't care so much about the physical but I thought he had all the characteristics I want in a man. Until we met in person two weeks ago.

Fast forward to two weeks ago he came to visit me in my city. I went to welcome him at the airport and was so happy to see him, although being an introvert (which he knows) I may not have shown it that much outwardly but I told him and thanked him numerous for coming to see me. He rented an AirBnB to stay in. We kissed passionately that night (no sex - I had told him I'm waiting for marriage) and I fell for him all the more. He's the second man I've ever kissed and great kisser, at that.

The next day we were going out (he had rented a car for a couple of days) and that day he was taking me somewhere and was to pick me up later that afternoon). In the car, all I did was ask him to go a different route that would get us to our destination faster and was an easier route than the initial one, and he got angry and flared up that I'm asking him to go another direction, I should know he's not used to driving in my city, he doesn't want to get into an accident. He just went on and on chastising me over something I felt he should've been appreciative for since he could get back to the AirBnB faster and go back to sleep. I couldn't believe he was the same man I had been talking to on the phone, as he had always been calm during our communication prior to meeting. I didn't know he had a temper but I was seeing it at that moment. When it was time for me to get off, I said "bye" to him and he ignored me, then zoomed off like he was in a racecar. Thankfully it was an empty street. I cried and sent him a text not long after that he should have a safe flight back to his city because I wouldn't see him again because of how he had just treated me. We exchanged texts back and forth, he was angry about my text and said something about wanting to take the next flight back to his city. I asked him to call me to talk things out and he refused, that I should call him if I wanted to talk to him. I called him and he was upset about my text. I didn't want him to leave and hurridly took a $45 taxi ride to meet him at the AirBnB. I apologized for my text and he also apologized for his behaviour. He said he was falling in love with me and didn't know what to do. We talked but he was still sleepy, so I lwent to watch Tv on the couch while he slept on the bed. When he got up, we watched some Tv shows and movies and then went out later to get some food.

The next day, I prepared some food for him, from my place. Before meeting I had mentioned to him during a conversation that I like to cook and wanted to cook for him. I told him I don't like being single since I've to eat all the things by myself and wanted someone to cook for and he said he couldn't wait for me to cook for him. He had also told me he pays people there to cook for him, so I wanted to make some things for him to last him two or three days. We were to meet a few hours later, so I spent those hours cooking: fish pies, fried rice, lamb, shrimp. I had also bought two things for him and took those along with the food I hade made for him. I had to make sure I give these things to him, as he was returning to his city the next day. When we saw again that afternoon, the first thing he told me was that his ancestors don't eat lamb, which he had never told me before. I felt he wasn't appreciative of my efforts but he later managed to say thank you. I wanted us to go somewhere that afternoon but he didn't want to go, so we just watched tv. I spent the time and again, no sex; he never pressured me and had said he would wait till whenever I'm ready.

The next morning, for some reason it skipped my mind to follow him to the airport and say goodbye to him there, coupled with the conversation the previous night about him not wanting to be late, I thought he would be better if I didn't follow him there to say goodbye. He had mentioned not wanting to be late for his flight the next morning and I assumed this meant it would be better for me to not go with him to the airport to see him off there. He dropped me off at my place (we kissed and said goodbye in the car), then he headed to the airport back to his city.

After his visit, the relationship wasn't the same. He would reply my texts hours later, saying he was sleeping and with only a few words. It was during a conversation a few days later that I got to find out he was upset because I hadn't followed him to the airport to say goodbye and I thought 'omg'. It had skipped my mind the morning he headed back and again, with the conversation the night before his return, I thought perhaps I shouldn't go with him. It was simply an error of thinking of my part but one I felt awful about. I apologized to him and told him how bad I felt bad now that I realized I hadn't gone with him to the airport to see him off/say goodbye to him there. It now dawned on me why he was giving attitude in the car that morning on the way to the airport. He kept singing to the songs on the radio, which was fine, but I felt ignored. At one time he asked me a question and before I finished answering he cut me off and started singing again. When I found out this was why he was upset days later, I tried to explain that it wasn't intentional, that it had skipped my mind and if he had just told me or reminded me in the case, I would've gone with him. The airport is close to my house, so it wasn't as if it was far or I had any reason for not going with him, other than it skipping my mind, perhaps because I had misunderstood the previous night's convo, but he barely heard my side or even let me speak because he was literally yelling at on the phone. A few days later I sent him a text asking if his heart was still in the relationship and he called me right away that it was, we talked, then he sent me a text that he cared about me, which was reassuring.

We didn't talk much after that call or he would barely respond to my texts, but days later I sent him a text asking what we would do when I visit his city. As stated above, I wanted to move to his city prior to coming across this man but had some doubts about moving there, which I shared with him when we started communicating. He had invited me then to come stay with him for a few days to check out the city to enable me to decide. He has an extra room in his apartment that I would sleep in, but I was hesitant and changed my mind about this a few times, which annoyed him. During his trip here I accepted the offer. He never asked for sex throughout his stay, so I was more confident that I would be safe staying with him for a weekend. He said I had to pay for the flight ticket/roundtrip (about $300) myself and I told him okay. Back to the text about what we do during my visit: I had asked him this because he didn't want to do much during his visit here, granted we're technically still on lockdown and most places are closed but we could've gone to some other places - he didn't want to. I also asked because I knew he would be tired from his night shift job and would sleep during the day, or work his second job that he also does during the day when he's not sleeping. I didn't want to visit him and just sit at his apartment without going anywhere, as he would either be at work, or sleeping. His responded 3-hrs later was a "zipped mouth smiley" and didn't bother to say anything else. I felt he should've said something and not just send me a smiley. I sent him a response that I may not come there if we aren't going to go out and he replied with an "Ok". I know he was upset by that and thought I was changing my mind about visiting him. He had wanted me to move there to grow our relationship, but he didn't talk to me after that text. I felt he was slipping away and I couldn't pinpoint why. I blocked him, and I admit I did block him on two previous occasions when I didn't like his reaction to things but he would either call me outside WhatsApp to ask why I blocked him or I would later unblock him that day, apologize for blocking him and we would start talking again. I know he didn't like the blocking because he said his ex-wife also did the same anytime they argued. He was seeing every communication as an argument and I didn't get it; I wasn't sure how to communicate with him anymore because he just started overreacting to things, especially after we met in person. I felt at times he was projecting whatever happened in his marriage towards me, like anytime I asked him a question to understand something he would see it as a argument or a back-and-forth, while I would tell him I was just trying to understand him or the discussion and I always told him this. Last week I sent him a text telling him we should decide if he we should continue the relationship and he didn't respond. Two days later I texted him that he should've responded but I got his response from his silence, called him abusive, fake/pretentious because he was a totally different man from how he had portrayed himself over the phone and I thanked him for showing me his true colours. He responded with an "Ok" and that was the last of our communication.

I'm heartbroken and have been trying to figure out what went wrong. Before him, the one relationship I've been in was almost a decade ago and when we started talking, I told him this, and that he would have to be patient with me because I haven't been in a relationship in years, that I'm still a learner as far as relationship goes and he should always tell me if I do anything wrong for us to work it out. He told me he was in my life to stay and wasn't going to leave me for any reason. We had talked about getting married and how we want to raise kids, even asked what type of ring I want. I told him I'm not particular about any, that it's the thought that counts and he said if he gets me one we could always change it later. I'm not desperate for marriage and never been one to jump into any relationship. He was the one saying we would get married and wanted to marry me. He was previously married (his marriage ended last year, no kids) and currently finalizing his divorce papers with his ex-wife who left him and returned her bride price back to his family. I never judged him for being previously married, but always encouraged him and would tell him I was proud of him (he works two jobs), sent him an online card last month on his 40th bday, praying for and encouraging him. I don't know his address, else I would've sent him a gift, as I'm very giving and love buying things for people. When we first started chatting two months ago and he told me about a problem of his, I sprung to take a photo of the perfect solution for him so he could buy it for himself to use, which he bought and did thank me for because it works. Anytime he would tell me about a problem I always offered solutions or suggestions to help him out. I was always ready to share ideas with him and tell him things I know that he may not. Idk what else I could've done to show him I cared. Idk if he met someone else but I do know he chats with other women on Whatsapp, though he says some are married and they're only friends.

I'm hurt. Because I finally let a man into my life again only for him to leave me in pieces. Because he never meant the promises he made to me. Because I feel like a fool believing he would never leave me like he had said. Because I miss him so much and don't know how to console myself.

I'm about to be single for another 10 years, but I just want y'all to tell me where I went wrong or what I did wrong.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed someone to talk to.

Pls, don't quote the post (I may delete it later).

Hello lovely,

You never did anything wrong.

The man is just not meant for you. If it was from God , it comes with confirmation. if it’s meant for you, you won’t have to stress, chase or fight for it.

Do you want to be with a man who makes you walk on egg shells always? No relationship is perfect but when things dont work out the way you want, thank God for closed doors.

You can’t convince a man to do anything. A man who wants to be with you will show you. In closing someone wise once told me “ if he wants you, you will know.. if he doesn’t- you will be confused.” Be careful not to fall prey to a man who wants you to be a placeholder until what he really wants arrives

TMSMedia:
Lady Poisons Herself And Her Ex-Boyfriend To Death A Week To His Wedding In Imo (Photos)


https://www.facebook.com/100009388131283/posts/3000218193634422/?app=fbl

Chinaza Oraekwe also wrote on Facebook;



https://www.facebook.com/100006419265199/posts/3034887046735241/?app=fbl

It’s unfortunate but this situation can’t be blamed on the lady alone. He ruined her life too. Why do you men think it’s ok just to use other people’s daughters and carry on. LEARN TO BE RESPONSIBLE SO THAT MISFORTUNE WONT FOLLOW YOU. I DON’T SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM. SORRY �‍♀️

NiRfreak:
Recently, I'm having a paradigm shift of the ideal woman to marry in the midst of tension and uncertainties surrounding marriages. A popular fact is that the woman a man marries determine so much about his achivement, happiness, health, longevity and the fate of his children, and since I cherish peace of mind so much I've decided to go for an uneducated woman.
.
She will be a secondary school holder and I will set her up for business and these are my reasons.

1. Intellectual gap and economic difference between husband and wife is a big factor in determining the success of a marriage. Women generally will look up to their spouse and are easily moved and obligated to respect him when he's obviously superior intellectually and economically. Whereas, unnecessary power play ensues when a woman is very close to her man in terms of education and economic means. This alone has broken many homes and still counting.


2. New definition of gender roles: feminist and mainstream media are misleading women to reject their traditional roles that have made them successful and happy as women for thousands of years.This new mindset and role shift is largely incompatible with marriage and it's the reason why 70% of marriages in Western world hit the rock within 5 years of wedlock. Even in our society, divorce is so prevalent as women try to change marital roles and values to copy the oyibo. Only few men can cope with this role shift.


3. Uneducated women are more devoted to their men, as they have few engagements, amusements and few lofty frivolities. When you are also a good man who shows her that you truly love her and care so much for her happiness, most times she'll go all length to pls you and you see them glow for you. They are more proud of having you and grateful for what you do.

4. They are more teachable. I believe you can easily blend them how you want. They are also very happy when your educated friends come around and still shower her respect as Oga's wife cos you don't joke with her or disrespect her amongst your friends.

5. Feminism promotes sexual decadence. Check what our ladies are doing on the internet. Feminism expose them to such. Most educated women, feminist and all, take their freedom too far that they indulge in all kinds of sexual experimentation and are bolder with less scruples for sexual restraint; as they are also less religious, less modest, wilder, subscribing to strange philosophies that jeopardise marital values and family cohesion just for personal pleasure and happiness

This is not saying it's 100% foolproof for good marriage, women also have their personalities, either educated or not. but in general this limits avoidable tussle.
And some will say I'm only a control freak, well, men should lead, and there's nothing wrong if they are in control as long as they are reasonable, and a good woman doesn't have problem submitting to a man whom they love and respect apart from our new generation feminist who believe they are equal to men and thus want to dictate.

You may air your view as regard to this school of thought, either positive or negative they are welcome.

Number 5 isn’t true... what does being on the internet have to do with morals or loving God?

Smh... I’m an influencer and active online.. we will see in heaven. I dont care how many bible verses you can recite. How do you treat people? How is your heart?

BigCabal:
How we met
It took me three years to get admission into the university. During that time, I was attending a tutorial in Ibadan, and that is how I met Paul, a friend of my friend. My friend introduced us and we got really close. After talking for a while, I discovered I like him. The feelings were mutual, so we started dating on my birthday, November 7th. I had just clocked 18, he was 17, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship then, but I just knew I couldn’t let Paul go away.

The thing is; I have suffered emotional abuse and have been depressed for a while now. I have been molested twice, and I couldn’t even tell my own mother because she was always so harsh towards me. It got so bad that I even had to leave home to stay with my aunt. I had attempted suicide twice, and I have a lot of insecurities. Paul was there for me anytime I needed someone to talk to. He loved me and I always wondered why. He knows all my flaws, but I still could not understand why he loves me so much.

The first mistake
It was the best relationship I ever had. He was understanding, helped with my depression and academics. We never had serious fights, just a few misunderstandings over little things. Everything was going good for a year until I met some guy on Facebook, John. John and I started talking, and the chats progressed to the point where he asked me to send him nudes. I sent some with my face hidden because I was so sure I would never see him in real life. He lived in Lagos, I lived in Ibadan, and I didn’t plan on sleeping with him. Unfortunately for me, he attended the same secondary school as Paul. One day, John posted my picture on his WhatsApp status, and Paul saw it. Paul asked how he knew me, and John told him everything. Paul forgave me, but I knew he was hurt.

The second mistake
In 2019, I finally got admission into University, but I somehow got scammed of my acceptance fee. I couldn’t tell my parents or Paul because I felt so stupid. Instead, lied to him that my parents couldn’t pay the acceptance fee, I couldn’t tell him the truth. Covid-19 came, so schools couldn’t resume and the deadline for payment was up. I was planning on running away cause of shame, so I wanted to break up with Paul. I was stressed. One day I went to see a friend, and I ended up drinking with him. We almost had sex, but I was on my period so it didn’t happen. I initially didn’t tell Paul about it, but I eventually told him about how I went drinking and how I almost cheated. He was disappointed but forgave me.

The third mistake
The money for the initial acceptance fee was something I eventually raised, but because I was paying late, the price had increased. I was so desperate, and because my parents were having financial issues, I was ready to sleep with anyone for money for my school fees. Then, I met this guy who promised to take care of me, and I slept with him thinking he’ll help. I keep texting and sexting him so he would feel interested, but hasn’t said anything. This led to me breaking up with Paul. I told him it was because I needed time to be alone, but it was really because I couldn’t tell him I cheated on him.

The end
Paul and I eventually got back together, but it was because he did not know I cheated. He found out after reading my chats, so he left. I tried explaining to him how I only did it because I was desperate, but he thought I chose the man over him.

I feel bad and selfish about what I did. He deserved better than me, and I wish he listened when I told him before we started dating. This is just the kind of person I am. When I think of the fact that the person I slept with didn’t even give me any money, I feel I lost both ways.

I will probably sink deeper into depression because I finally lost the only person that ever cared. Paul is a good person that didn’t deserve any of the things I put him through. If I say I love him, it’ll surely look like a lie because you don’t hurt those you love, but I love him. I should just have done better.

https://www.zikoko.com/her/i-lost-my-boyfriend-and-it-was-all-my-fault/

The crazy thing.. is women like you normally tend to get the best guys....LIFE

kunle75:



Thanks for this piece.

She has ego problem.

She's even quick to remind the readers how bless she is small,who cares, somebody like me don't really care about your achievements but character which is scarse nowadays among our women.
The next thing you here them saying is mens are jealous of them .

Fake women everywhere

Ok

ZIINI:
Heavenlycherub heartless is not the right English to use for this man please reconstruct your endings
Before opening the thread I thought maybe the man in question broke your heart, or maybe you caught him red handed cheating on you ,or maybe you stood by him in time of trouble and when things became accurate for him he didn't look at your side . he didn't kill someone.
Why are you now you using the word heartless for him
You're a woman you need to wisen up
He went cold because you didn't give him your body
His first intention towards you is sex not true commitment,marriage, or long term relationship.
Someone said something up there and what he said is nothing but the truth.
At least 84% of men both young and old are fûck boyz
So for a man to be faithful and honest to one woman hmmm is next to impossible
I pray God provide your own husband for you
lastly when meeting this people don't show it that you're already desperate in search of a partner
They can use this to prey on you
Again don't ever see any issue or difficulty as problem cause when you see it as problem it has become problem that very moment. Pray fervently for God's direction.
Shalom...

Thank you so much for this. God bless you. I was just puzzled as he told me he loved me and promised to not hurt me. I guess men say what ever to get sex. You are right. Amen and so it shall be.

Kondomatic:
The reason relationship tire me these is because of this me first mentality of many people.


People don't care about your needs as long as theirs are being met and when you get tired of trying and quit, they will start opening threads.


You want him because he was meeting your needs, he doesn't want you because you don't care about his.


Move on stop disturbing us.


See as you're emphasizing on laughter as if he is a relationship to laugh.

Lol

Sundrus:
Make i first yawn.... My advice to u madam na say u need to stop to dey place too much high expectation to any man wey come woo u, bcuz 85% of these men na fucckboyz.

E fit be say na karma dey worry u now, cuz u fit don reject the right man wey truly need u long before now due to one yeye reason or the other. E dey funny me when ladies way no sabi woo men of their choice go dey too finicky.

Thank you so much. I see that now. I just thought he was different. He seemed so sincere and sweet. I can only thank God I didn’t give up my body. I would be broken.

NATIONALPASTOR:
Madam, yes, its a common thing within the Yoruba enclave not to be attached to any particular woman because they are mainly traditionalists and Muslims and you'll agree with me that such backgrounds approves having many wives; I.e polygamous in nature.

Secondly, you should also be hardworking because Yoruba men likes woman who takes care of them. . . most of their men are not hardworking so you must take note of that....


However, there is no tribe be it Yoruba, Hausa , Igbo or others where you won't see men like that..


Finally also work on yourself to be accommodating and tolerant.

Only go for what you can tolerate!!!!

In all, I wish you the best.

Good luck.

I agree with this. I’ve dated a Yoruba man before. It packed up because he didn’t want to stop scamming. When I found out I advised him to do a legit hustle he refused. I just don’t want to raise my family on unclean money. He was also very stingy. He lavished his money and would expect me to bail him out a lot of times. I just have no luck with Yorubas maybe. Most women I know complain about Yoruba men. cheating and wanting the woman to take care of them. You are right.

Jeromejnr:
He "burnt" you because you didn't give in to sex.

Its normal among guys who just wanna play around. It shows where their hearts lie. So be happy.

Very few good men who fear God out there. Some people who fear God like me have been taken tho . I will soon marry my chosen Daffodil.

P.S, I ain't Yoruba.

Thank you dear. I will be broken if I had done it. I’m just so confused. Everything went well. I actually started to like him back. I have toasters don’t get me wrong. However some of these guys don’t seem right. I just won’t settle just to say I’m in a relationship. I want love and want to be loved back. It’s a simple concept.