PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

just pack out and go marry your friend. A foolish woman breaks her home with her own hands.

BOYLOVABLE1:
A lady send me a friend request on facebook since early last year which I accepted, from there we started chatting.

According to her that she's from India and she will love to marry, we talked a lot. I asked her so many questions about her and she said so many things that she a single mother.

After two months she went off and I also moved on. Just last week Friday, she appears again telling me that her account was hacked.

She has been sending me pictures also request for mine which I did send, she send both nude pics.

On Friday she also wants me to send mine which I declined. After much persuasion, I sent her my nude, she insisted that she wants to see my full unclad pic.
To cut the story shorter, immediately I sent her my full unclad pic, the next thing I saw was:

"You dey craze, I resemble your mate?". I should better comply or else....
When she is through with me I will know my myself.

I just weak, immediately I blocked her on Facebook. I think she wants to use my unclad pic to scam me. She has been calling me but I refuse to pick the call.

Please what will i do?

Don't mind mind my English construction.

unfriend her and set your Facebook account to private mode so only your friends can see anything about you.

izospindle:
A Friend Wanted Me To Lend Him Money I Told Him This. Am I Wrong?

So a friend of mine told me that his girlfriend is about to lose her admission, because school fee deadline is tomorrow. He asked me to lend him 70k.

I know how he loves this girl so I asked him to fill a form before I give him the money. Am I wrong for doing that?

He started saying a whole lot of things and has not spoken to me since. Note this is half of all my savings and I have a purpose for this particular fund just that the time has not come.

Advice is needed please

So if the girl breaks up with him before he pays you back your money, do you think he'll still pay you? Nah!
It becomes your loss

wwwkaycom:
I gave my house documents to my cousin to take a bank loan of 3 million naira but I like to retrieve my documents back because of the way he and his wife have been doing things since October, 2019.

He is involved in sales of agrochemicals. He discussed with me on how profitable the business is but that he didn't really have money to put into it.

The wife lost her job in the bank and had to join him in the business. Being a close cousin and friend of mine, I gave out my house documents to him as collateral and the bank actually came to do some inspection in my house and I signed some documents.

The big issue now is that my cousin have not paid a dime back since August last year when he got the loan and between then and now he has done 3 parties that I'm sure gulped lots of money. The wedding of his younger sister in October, wedding of his brother in law in December and 40th birthday of his wife in January. These were serious lavish parties which I think could be done modestly.

I asked him on Monday about the loan and he said his moratorium will expire in February and there's no cause for alarm. This is different from what he told me before I released my documents, he said he will have gone far in repayment even before the expiration of moratorium. I reminded him about this but he said there is no problem about his ability to pay back since the business is lucrative.

I also discovered that one of our uncles actually borrowed him 2 million naira in 2017 which he hasn't paid back till now, he hasn't paid a dime back, I didn't do due diligence before releasing my documents to him.

Uncle told me yesterday that he would have discouraged me from giving out my documents if I had informed him before the loan was granted. Uncle also told me that he disagreed with him about his clubbing and partying lifestyles as a struggling businessman but that instead of appreciating his concern, he and his wife fought him and boasted his 2 million naira will be paid back before mid 2018 but till today he hasn't paid a dime. Hope I haven't shot myself in the leg with this help which I think I rendered to a friend and family?

The worst part of it is that my wife was not fully in support of my intention to help him then.

Where do I start from good people?

He promised to start paying by January ending, if he fail to do this, is it possible to break that bond and retrieve my documents from the bank? Can I tell him and the bank that I'm no longer interested in guaranteeing the loan? I'm afraid, kindly help.

get a good lawyer quickly or you lose your house

delishpot:
This his vex ehn, na only him dey shout, na only him dey complain of bullying. Asking for a refund = bullying. Odiegwu o.

Edit: I like how people are now making the usual "I can't judge from one side of the story" because a man was called out.. If the table was turned and we see a video of a woman shouting and insutling a man to GTF out of her office etc etc world people will say thank God he recorded it to show the world how abusive she was to him but since its a woman behind that camera, excuses will fly in favour of the man.

this is dumb af!

Women standing for women... There you go!

Platini7:
Please i created this moniker to seek advise on this issue.

I got married to my wife in 2018 and there's already an issue that is threatening our young marriage.

We dated briefly 10 years ago before she travelled to the US for schooling. She stayed there for a while and then got into a relationship over there with a guy i know (I wasn't close friends with the guy). I had to move on with my life and got into a relationship of my own here in Nigeria.
Back then, i use to have this silly habit of creating anonymous facebook accounts where i would add people i know and comment on their posts and pictures without them ever knowing i was the one. I dropped many comments back then and one such incident happened to be a time i commented on her close friend's picture, telling her (the friend) she was pretty and how i wanted her. This was almost 10 years ago and i swear i never meant any of those words. It was just a silly joke and i had completely forgotten all that.
My wife returned Nigeria in 2016 and somehow we reconnected and got married in 2018.

Just last week, she stumbled on those posts i made in 2010-2011 and got really heartbroken and upset. Right now, even after pleading with her, she says she wants to quit the marriage. She packed a few of her stuff and travelled home to Abia state from our base in Lagos. So far, what she told her family in the east is that she just came back to visit them for a little while because she couldn't come back during xmas.
Now she's threatening that i won't see my 1 year old son anytime soon cos she's already making plans of relocating abroad for good.


Please my question is this; Do you think this issue is enough to cause this kind of disharmony in our home?
What do you advice?
Thank you

she was going to leave anyway regardless of what she read online. She's no longer interested in the marriage, but wants you to take the fall for it.
It's gonna be hard man, but you have to be a man and insist to keep your kid. Sue her if you must. You can't afford to be weak about this else you might as well dash your child to any other stranger

Impregnable101:
Snooped into my girl's WhatsApp & read her chats with a particular guy

The guy was like "I just arrived abuja. Wat I want now is a good head to help me relax"

She was like "u are not serious"

The guy: oh I am

My girl: OK, just take care of ur sef o

The guy: I want u to come & do it

My girl: u know i can take care of u

The guy: I know that why I want u to come & do it
My girl: lol

The guy: I wanted to see something thats why I called u on video but u were hiding in the dark

My girl: no light

My girl: I don't want to disturb my sister with my noise


She was in the same platoon with this guy

To think that i engaged her few months ago. Plus i have already taken drinks to her parents!!!
Cc lalasticlala

you are wasting your time with a prostitute

DaBullIT:
Bastards argued with me

And same idiots are still saying the suspect shouldn't have been released ,


I know a few lawyers are on this forum, intent was emphasised in the write-up, meaning he hasn't scammed anyone successfully yet


Same sets of idiots are saying its a cover up


Believe what you choose but the fact remains (albeit known to sensible people) okolie attempted to defraud people

He ran away from home

And was arrested for intent to defraud

lol
Trying to sound intelligent huh?!

.

MaxVee:
I Am Losing My Mind, Could This Be Love Or Foolishness?

Okay, I'd be quick and brief as well.

So about 6 months ago, I met my girl on facebook, And after months wooing her to date me, she finally agreed and we started dating..

Like everything was perfect and indeed I fell deeply in love with her even before I met her.

So along the line in our relationship she told she had a best friend who is a guy and they have know each other for like 4years..and that they talk very well (calls and chat) and that they tell each other they love themselves, but if I wasn't cool with it,I could break up she would understand.

As a guy I knew I had fallen for her and I embraced her telling me about the guy after a strong assurance from her that they were not into any sort of relationship with each other.

So my girl called me like let's say a month after we started dating that there was this her friend who she hadn't met and that wanted and she was going to see him, and I was like fine, she should just be fine.

P.S:- I hadn't met with my girl even till the point she went to meet the guy...I was in the west and she was in one of the states in the East..more like a long distance relationship.

Fast forward to days after they met I became uncomfortable with the relationship between my girl and the said new guy she met..I talked to her severally about it and she was at some point swearing not having anything to do with the new guy she just met.

Fast forward to the festive season I came back and I met my girl for the first time..indeed she was everything I imagined and we flowed amazingly well.

Long story cut short in the midst of one of our long conversations I discovered she have at some point had sex severally with her said best friend...so I was like since it was before we met I forgave her and we moved on..

yesterday I asked her if she has anything with the new guy and she swore again not having anything with him that the guy has been asking her out and she refused dating him.

She said plenty of things that convinced me into believing that nothing was going between them.

P.S:- before yesterday I told her to tell the new guy she has a boyfriend and she promised to..(from the actions of my girl I could tell she loves me.) She later told me that day that she told him and she had blocked him and stuff..and trust me I did believe her.

So this morning while she was sleeping I reaching out to her phone and went straight to her WhatsApp.. opened the chat with the guy and what I saw broke me..

She was reconciling with him over the break up she instigated of which was caused by something totally different not even because she told him she had a guy..what killed my spirit was a message she wrote to the guy saying "she left me for him even though I was far much a better option"..I confronted her and she has been pleading saying she loves me but she likes him and that they haven't had anything except kissing and caressing..that she loves me so much..that she started liking him when she started talking to him more frequently and I was far away. She hadn't know me..so she got fond of him and she likes him.

I love this babe so much, I told her I forgive her..but please I need your opinions..am I blinded by love or am being foolish..

How would you handle the situation. If it was you..
La La.. please help move this to front page
Am breaking every hour.

you are being played

DonFreshmoney:
Well. Snakes and reptiles thrive in bushy and dirty environment.. she must be very dirty for a snake to hide inside her WC and await the smell of her poo.. In as much as it led to an untimely death of the woman, I would suggest the family should take solace that she was killed by a snake. The husband should endeavor to marry another immediately...

Lalasticlala.. you know what to do.. it's a snakey something

fool! Son of a took!

Jokerman:
Hello. I need advice on this topic

About a year ago, my Dad died, being an owner of a primary school with my mom, thereafter o assumed head of the school, although I run my own freelance engineering installation and maintenance service on HVACs and Diesel engines.

In course of this education line, I'm obtaining my certificate in PGDE( in view).

Now this is the case...

There are some old staff in the school then whom use to collect school fees on behalf of the school and you know Nigerians, instead of remitting the fees to the school, they divert and scam and even go as far as lending money to different people in the vicinity.

However since I took over, I forcefully stopped the collection, and redirected all fees to be paid at the bank. Mhen, it was not small trouble, fight, gossiping, spoiling me at the back etc, but I never listened to such, and right now no one collects these fees again... Everything goes through me coz I'm trying to sanitize it. I also required the services of a registered security company operator (sheriff deputies) for the school

Problems I needed advice

1. Sometimes these rebellion. They gossip and talk evil to people that I'm very harsh etc

2. I have changed 2 security operators because of compromises with these staff. I will give instruction, Buh those they'd do otherwise and bend to what other older staff tell them. Recently, the present security did something contrary and I scolded him toughly. Recently, he had an alteration with a parent and I asked him to just plead with her. He refused blatantly. I was surprised and even my mom too. He said he doesn't like the way I scold him and that's why bla bla bla, infront of all other staff. My mom asked me not to change him Buh I'm skeptical

I already feel like changing him with his company supervisor coz he lives around the vicinity and he now gossips with those old staff who might be telling him I'm too young to order him to do things

4. These old staffs are like friends to my mom and they already carry a lot of influence with most of the parents (which I also cut off too). One of them is wife to my mom's brother

5. My mother has been telling me to be patient even my wife. I do not want to employ an headteacher until I change a lot of things

The school has about 300-350 pupils, and employs 18 staff

Advice needed

Sack those bad eggs, and employ fresh heads there otherwise you will have no rest

Benjaniblinks:
......

If your story is true and you want my advice....







I will surely stab my brother in his sleep. How can he fvck my whorre girlfriend?

Just imagine??

you sir, are a fool! What blame has the younger brother here?
Do you know you are advocating murder here?
Nairaland should be vigilant to ban mentally sick posters like this

mechanics:
You can say whatever you like but it's the truth.

if it wasnt sarcasm, then you must be living under some rock.

mikezuruki:
Is It Proper For Me As A Friend Attend This Engagement?

I will make this short as possible.

I will be attending a friend of mine engagement party today who happened to have impregnated the girl before marriage plan. That wasn't his plan. His parents didn't give their blessings hence they are not showing up for the engagement party.

Is it right for me as a friend to show up for something like this that was not blessed nor consented by the parents of the groom to be?

What do you think? mature ones please

how do people think like this? whats your business with his parents? do you have a relationship with his parents or your friend? without your friend who are you to his parent?
You are most definitely some fake friend with a very slim chance you are not.

Davash222:
Davido received audio endorsement from COZA.
How does that consign Wizkid?? But, reacted.
Now, he’s pained and warning Aunty Linda to mind her business.
If you want her to mind her business, you too should learn how to mind your own business!!

Ignoramus! Speaking before knowing the the facts. A man supporting Linda Ikeji needs hormonal tests.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

ssd that your wife thinks like that. You did the right thing. I just Think from now on, she would start maltreating the girl.

Alwaysachick:
I've been seeing this guy since we got introduced to last May. First off he asked me if I was in any relationship and I said no. So we kicked off got intimate within 2weeks. Happened he was a virgin and that was his second relationship.

He is into me for reasons I can't figure out, but he is very unstable and unsure. Before we got intimate, I felt we were already dating, but after that the constant highs and lows made me ask him again and he said he cares about me, but he is not ready for something serious now. I love to respect peoples decisions and not clingy so I let him be.

He kept coming around, he always needed one help or the other cuz he was new to the area. Sometimes when he ask for help, he says he will pay but for where, I just felt he didn't want to raise my hopes.

I told him off severally, but he kept coming, same high and low, we get intimate once in a while. Personally, I love this guy but couldn't say if it was mutual.

So fast forward to last week, he gave me his tab to help him do some work. So in the course I playfully went to his photos and saw nothing but as an old girl in the game, I went to his recycle and saw romantic pictures with a girl at the beach. The only thing is they didn't kiss but everyother thing termed romantic was in the pictures. That same beach event, but alone, he tagged it on Instagram as " create time for love".

I asked him who the girl was and he told me it was his friend from Abuja that just came him so he was showing her around town. I'm an outdoor freak, I've suggested to take him to the beach but he turns down that he doesn't like the beach.

He also claimed the girl is his friend's girlfriend and that his how they all play with their girlfriends.

Another, was a post of a delivered cake on Instagram to someone in Abuja. Quote" I owe you roses for every breath you take" he said it was to his cousin that she was having a bad day.

At the peak of the argument he said i should stop calling him a liar and I can think whatever I want he doesnt owe me any explanation.

I even had to call his close friend who introduced him which I have never done before to know if he was in a relationship but he said no ofcourse I didn't expect him to say otherwise.

So later the day I sent him a text of appreciation for the decit because he never wanted to commit and never wanted to go.After reading, he blocked me. Its three days now, he is yet to unblock me.

I really want to know if I should just move on or apologise for calling him a liar. Or was I wrong to have concluded he was in an affair.

I want genuine suggestions please I'm still heart broken.

Dude's just using you, he doesn't love you, you know this but its always difficult to leave Relationships like this where sex is involved especially from the female side. You have to muster your will to leave you shouldn't be fighting for his attention and love, unless you don't mind being a booty call because I Think thats what he using for. He's already told you he doesn't want any commitment, he didn't tell you if he doesn't want same from any other lady.
So save yourself the headache,dear.

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

I am a married man, and I am giving you this advise. If you go ahead with that marriage, you just signed your death warrant. Everyone encouraging you to go ahead will not be with you in marriage. Use your head. You want to fa e this for tens of years to come?

Henvest:
There is this shop I normally stock my house from then. One day I came to buy things as usual, the guy, the owner of the shop introduced one girl to me telling me she is his sister. After that day I stopped seeing the guy but only the girl in the shop.

One day I traveled, while on the travel someone called, introduced herself and explained who she is. Obviously she took my number from my younger brother staying with me. She pretended to be angry with me for not telling her am traveling and for me not knowing her name before then. Of course I apologized but she demanded I should take her out when am back before she will accept my apology I obliged.

I came back kept to my promise but made it in an open place, National theater precisely.
But then she booked another date next week but insisted it won't be open place anymore.. The rest is history.

One day I came to her shop to buy something and over heard a close friend calling her Iyawo Ossy, that wasn't the first I heard someone address her as Iyawo Ossy but I become curious this time because this person is a close friend and should know better. She tried to wave it with excuse of anybody is free to call her what they like but when I insisted, she finally opened up.....

Ossy was not her brother but her fiance with whom she has been together for 6 six years.
But, according to her Ossy is waiting for her to take in before going to see her people.
The reason why both of them chose to be telling people they are siblings remain a mystery to me till today....

I got mad and call it quit with her for trying to use me to secure marriage. The whole relationship did not last up to 2 months but obviously it was a bit late already.

Weeks later it become obvious she is pregnant, deep inside of me I felt am responsible, but when I ask her she insist it belong to Ossy. I push but she stood her ground insisting it belongs to Ossy.
She went further denying the timing of the pregnancy, if doctor is saying 2 months she will be claiming her pregnancy is 1 month.

To my greatest surprise become hostile and start avoiding me even go further to claim they went for paternity test and the result shows it belong to the guy.

I gave up, dust my self and moved on.
Nine months later she put to bed to a girl..
Months later I move out of that area.
One day my phone rang it was her, she demanded that she need to see me, that she has an important discussion with me. I opt to recharge and call her for us to do the discussion on phone but she insisted so I sent her my new address.

Two days later she came, what she came to tell me was that she is leaving the guy that the marriage thing is not working.
She was seriously crying all through I tried all i could to console her but then one thing lead to another sex happened again. When she is about to leave she told me that am the father of her daughter not Ossy. That the story of going for paternity test was true but that the test never happened because the counsellor they meet ask them to go back and rethink it again but the Ossy changed his mind at the process.

I laugh off the story and asked her to take her leave because to me she is just trying to activate her option B. Two months later she called to inform that she has not seen her period I told her am not Interested in her stories again but then my conscience was never at peace. I keep asking my self what if pregnancy and the girl truly belong to me?

One year plus later I decided to go look for them I told my girl, now fiance and she give her support ..

What I saw when I reached there almost make me cry, her condition is so bad. There and then I decide to come in and start assisting her as much as i can pending when I go for DNA. My family kick against my decision, their reason is that the girl story is not to be trusted, on the other hand my girl was supportive but kick against DNA claiming if it is done and they are not mine my feelings for the kids will change.
But from then I start taking care of their feeding, schooling, clothing, rent e.t.c

After like a year my girl suggest I open business for the girl instead, so that she doesn't have to come to me for everything everytime except school fees and medical bills.

I bought the idea and asked the lady to go look for shop ...
While on that i told her of the need to open account for the kids.

Two days later she came back to tell me that her brothers said she should not change the name of the kids...

That the kids will bear the name of who ever that marry her or the name of her family if the person don't want them.

Now what happened was that, she once told me that she need to change the girls surname to mine. Before then i don't know their surname nor attach any importance to it. So while discussing the idea of opening the account for the girls I innocently suggest that she go do the change of name before opening the account.

I was hit by her responds and her body language so I told her that she and her brothers can go suit theirselves, that from then henceforth I have hands off her matter.

Later that day she called and begged but I told her that the only condition for me to keep assisting her is that she will change their names and also release one of them to me.

She said i should make out time and come down to her base so that we will discuss it. I discuss it with my fiance and she permit me to go. When I get there and raise the topic she flame up telling me she won't try it, that that is the position of her family.

Obviously she was expecting a fight or angry reactions from me so that she can push her terms and agenda to the table ..

But was disappointed when I don't fall for that, she start begging that she can change their names but can't release any to me. I told her is no longer an option.

The meeting end at that and I took my leave, go with the start up capital i was meant to give her for her business.

She sent people to me to beg on her behave but I insisted. Finally she agreed, but with a condition that she (the first girl) must be up to 5years which is few months away then before she release her.

I sense lies in the whole thing but my girl insist I should release the fund for her to start the business of which I did when her pressure become much.

Since then I still pay their school fees nd medical bills...
Late last year the small one did surgery it was on me.

The 1st is 7 now the 2nd is 4 years old.
This year she said she wanna marry, that someone is asking for her hand in marriage
I congratulate her and wish her luck. Then ask her her plan for the kids.

What she answered me is " let the will of God be done"

I called the woman, her friend who first told me about the marriage thing, after much drilling she open up that they have agreed with the man that he is going to marry her the kids.

I don't have any problem with that even though I feel used but my only problem is why lying to me again? At that point am yet to pay their graduation /party fees out of anger I decide am not going to pay it again. I told her to go meet their new father to pay the remaining, but my conscience kept battling me.

My fiance is extremely mad at her now and have withdraw her support and insist I cut of with her entirely .

I understand her, she has been very understanding, supportive and always fighting for them even without knowing them or them knowing her.

I feel so bad for putting her in that position.
That becomes a very messy situation for me now becus I cant afford to ruin my relationship / marriage because of a renowed liar.

But what will be of those kids if I hands off them keep am awake some times at night because I don't wanna be that father that abandon his kids but I cant afford to do anything which my woman do not approve or take her for granted in anyway.


Is obvious she is trying to blackmail me with the kids, But then am not even sure if they are mine ,and she have refused to release them because if she do I can be able to go for DNA. And know what next from there.

For a while now we have not talk, She called two weeks ago that the kids wanna talk to me obviously for school fees I turn it down and warn her against calling my line again ...

I don't know if that is right, I'm confused now.
My another worry now if those kids are mine is,
When it comes to Education we are at opposite end.

She don't attach importance to education but me I attach so much importance to it.
I can't trust her with the education of those kids.
Please I need advise on how to handle things.

just do a DNA test, and then you have the boldness to fight tooth and nail for your kids. Because eventually they may not be your kids, then you can walk away if you want. She might just be using you to train another man's kids because she knows you are financially capable.

Gcool2:
Won't she get notified that her WhatsApp is opened on web..

Its only on the first login. And most ladies won't even understand the notification as it just shows whatsapp web login and time in notification panel. It happens only once. And since you would be with her phone at that time, just swipe the notification away.

Ghostfaze:
Kindly approve to the homepage, mods.


Hello everyone.
I have an unusual issue at hand and it's really giving me a headache.

I have a girlfriend I met in August this year when I traveled to my state from Abuja. She's beautiful, a graduate, and she's everything I have ever wished to have in a woman or so I once believed.

I loved her and our relationship was going to lead to marriage.

After we met in August I traveled back to Abuja and a few months later her NYSC call up came. She told me about it and we planned that she will serve in Abuja. I paid one NYSC man to work her posting but unfortunately, she was posted to another Northern state.

On her way to the state where she was posted she stopped over at my place in Abuja on the 3rd of November, That night we had sex without a condom and after the sex, I gave her a pregnancy prevention drug tablet I had collected from a doctor.

She refused to take the drugs not until after much persuasions. The next morning, some thick blood mixed with water started coming out of her and she was also having stomach pains so I called the doctor that gave me the drugs and he said we should come to his hospital.

We got to the hospital and after explaining to him what happened the doctor said she was already pregnant before taking the drugs that's why her body reacted that way to the drugs.

She denied that she's pregnant and eventually she had to undergo a pregnancy scan. The result came out negative but the doctor kept on insisting that she was pregnant and that the reason why the result came out negative is because of the drugs she took and how young the pregnancy is.

She left for home angrily that day and I had to beg her to forget whatever it is that happened.

A few days later she left for NYSC camp in the state where she was posted. After two weeks she started complaining to me that she's been feeling cold, hungry, and sleepy often than she used to.

I told her that it could be because of the change of weather and the approaching harmattan season. While she was in camp I was working for her to be reposted back to Abuja and somehow she didn't want to serve in Abuja again. She wasn't really open to me about that but she was subtly letting me know of her desires.

Finally, her reposting worked out and she came down to Abuja three days ago. Today she told me that she wants to go for a pregnancy test and I obliged and escorted her to another hospital different from the one we previously went to the first time she came to Abuja.

After the test and scan, the result said she's 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant. We went to another hospital and the result came out the same.

Remember that I first had sex with her on the 3rd of November. Tomorrow will make it a month I had sex with her but she's already 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

I could not understand why she should be 6 weeks pregnant when it's not been up to 4 weeks I had sex with her. I have asked her to tell me if she slept with someone else earlier before she came to Abuja but she has maintained that she did not.

I have equally asked the two doctors we met today plus a few other doctors I spoke with on the phone if they think that I'm responsible for the pregnancy but their answers are all contradicting.

Now I'm confused. She's in my house, with a child I'm certain does not belong to me. I don't know what to do. I'm really really confused. Please, any mature advice would be gladly appreciated.

Thank you!

I am a Pharmacist, and would want to shed some light on this.
Firstly, if you calculate that its four weeks ago you had sex with her, and scan results say it's six weeks,
The scan result is most definitely right as you are likely the father of the child.
A scan result does not actually know the actual date you had sex with her, so the age of the pregnancy starts from the first day of her last menstrual period till the day you took the test. So it's very possible that it's going to be about 2 weeks ago plus the date you had sex with her.

To confirm, get her to tell you the date she had her last menstrual cycle and calculate from there, it should tally with scan results.
Don't be quick to send her away, she is most likely carrying your child especially if she does not come across as a wayward lady.

2. The drug that doctor gave her was misoprostol. I believe you most likely saw a quack because misoprostol is an abortifacient. What you should have been given is an emergency contraceptive and they are plenty in the market for you to buy yourself. If misoprostol did make her bleed, there are two possibilities, she was close to her period or she was already pregnant.
I would like to ask, how long did the bleeding last? If it was slight bleeding or spotting and only for a very short time,
She was most definitely pregnant before coming to see you. But if the bleeding was heavy and was for a while you are most likely the father.

Do you think she's a lose lady? Try to track any conversations with guys on her platforms, I used to hack my Ex's what'sapp chat through whatsapp web, and I learnt a lot.
Be very smart. Everything is a probability.
All the best.

drlance:
She kept lying about this guy who happened to be a medical doctor,I am unemployed but sell phone accessories and do mini importation on the side but doing my Masters

It happened that one time she told me she was to travel to Asaba to meet her family members,on hearing this I was happy and looked forward to talking to them
After spending the night at my place I put her in a bus to Asaba , she didn't pick my calls till the next day.
The next day she posted an outing pic of herself in an eatery I didn't see it as anything but it's the next one that broke me
A guy took a picture of her with her phone while backing a glass door so I could take that he wore a blue shirt I called that day and when I asked playfully to talk to the family members she asked me "what kind of talk is that ?"

Not long from then I got tagged in a picture on her wall on Facebook,low and behold it was a selfie of her and the Medical doctor in blue shirt and the caption "I love you forever, my personal person" someone she said I shouldn't worry about but he is asking her out ,that she knew months before meeting me. She was supposed to be away for 2 days and ended up coming back after a week
On seeing this I called to demand for an explanation if they were related, she sighed cut the phone on me and didn't pick my calls ever again

She left me for a Medical Doctor

One month later now she calls me out of the blue to ask for 2k to buy foodstuffs. Which I gave without saying a word
Fast forward to today I got a job with the government and relocated to Abuja.
She called me later shedding crocodile tears and begging for me back
People of Nairaland what would you have me do? What will you do if you were in my shoes? It's not my fault she didn't see the bigger picture.

She isn't the first woman that has left me for a better person

if you have her back, then you have no self worth. Becaeyou have only been treated as a second option and you are happy with that

LegoxMetahuman:


why though?

the cvt transmission in the murano is a high maintenance and often problematic one. To avoid problems you are advised to do an expensive cvt oil flush and refill every 30,000 km
Despite that, the cvt in Nissan's especially this year Murano isn't reliable.

Before buying you should ask about maintenance carried out on the cvt in terms of oil changes otherwise save yourself and go with some other car.

I presently drive an Altima and enjoy it. But I am very very careful with its cvt trans.

Run for your lives

TheSkyIsBlue:
My Sister Is About To Commit A Serious Taboo All In The Name Of Marriage

Hello Nairalanders!

Please ignore any typographical or grammatical error. I just want to pour it out the way it is in my heart.

I am seriously confused and worried about what is happening in my family and I will appreciate your candid advice.

There is this guy my sister has been in a relationship with for over seven years now. so he actually asked her hand in marriage and decided to come see my parents for introduction, about some months ago. My family decided to take their time to find out more about the guys family background as is required in Igbo tradition.

After several questions asked, my family came to find out that the guy is an Osu (an outcast). On knowing this, everybody in my family told my sister to cut ties with him and discontinue the relationship because it is a big taboo to get married to an Osu in my place . If you do, no family member or friend will attend your wedding or even have anything to do with you again.

But my sister refused to listen to anybody claiming she really loves the guy, that they have been together for a very long time and that she is not getting younger anymore (mind you, she is in her early thirties). Everybody (my parents and extended family members) tried to talk her out of it but she still didn't listen.

After much pressure and her continues insistence, my dad decided to give them his blessings, although against his wish (my dad is actually not really deep into tradition). Now the guy has done all the traditional rights and paid for her dowry. Their wedding is coming up soon.

But the problem now is, according to tradition and from what I heard, if she was allowed to go with the guy without my dad giving them his blessings, the stigma would have just been on her and she alone would have been considered Osu, since she insisted to continue with the marriage. But now that my dad has given them his blessings, it is considered that all of us (her siblings) will also have that link of Osu too. Except if she decide to put an end to the relationship and discontinue with the wedding, which I don't think my sister is ready to do.

I am really worried and depressed about it, cause I don't want anything that will affect me tomorrow when I want to get married just because of my sister's mistakes.

I will really like to get opinions and sincere advice especially from those that are familiar with tradition, cause I'm seriously bothered. Thanks!

you are the one that need help not your sister. Like someone said, your sister is a hero.

Hannah346:
Hi Nl,
I 've been in this relationship for 3 years now...
We were happy and loved each other..... Then three years into the relationship, my bf started behaving strange and funny...

He doesn't call or text like before and when I talked to him about it , he always pick fights with me...I decided to keep mute...

Then one day I was at his place and decided to go through his phone( something I hardly do unless I needed to send pics or videos on my phone)...I found out he has been cheating with a girl he met on IG and they have been seeing each other and having sex....they even send nudes to each other on WhatsApp...

I was really hurt and I woke him up...he begged and said he was sorry that it was a mistake but I didn't listen and left...later that week he called me and said it was over between us ..I was really shocked cuz I didn't understand what was happening..... I went to his place that day to confront him and there he said I was boring and am not what he wants ...I was confused cuz none of my ex or anyone else ever told me I was boring.... I begged him and told him I could change but he said it was over...

After a few days I started seeing pictures of him and that girl he cheated with on WhatsApp... I couldn't help but stalk him on fb and IG and it turned out they were really having fun and ....

I deleted his number and blocked him on all social media and decided to move on....I decided to stay off relationship since then around June

Then around October... He called and said we should meet up that he wants to talk to me....I met with him and he apologized for what he did..I asked him about what he said to me then and he said he didn't mean the 'I was boring' .I told him it was past and its forgotten but deep down I was still hurting and I felt like smashing his head right there but I was cool......
Since then we have been talking and chatting but I found out the girl left him for another guy....

He said he still loves me and he is asking me out again and I don't know if I should give him another chance cuz I still love him...I told him we should just be friends for now ...on the other hand am still hurting about what he did.....
We have Been hanging out alot and am loving him more everyday
Am very emotional and I think I might give him another chance if I continue seeing or chatting him...
Should I just forget him and move on or give him another chance
Pls advice.... Thanks

you have no self worth if you go back to him. - from a married guy.

Queentee214:
Hi everyone,
Am really confused on what to do right now and I need advice.

I and my ex broke up six months ago...I broke up with him cuz we are always having misunderstandings...not just that..he can't control himself when angry , he always end up insulting me and calling me names but apologize when he is calm.

The last one that led to our break up was when we went to his friend's birthday party..on getting there,,i met an old time friend(a guy) and we talked for few mins .i went back inside where the party was holding and I met my bf angry already,,we end up quarreling there and he called me a prostitute in front of everyone(that wasn't the first time he would embarrass me in public)...

I was hurt and left there...i started ignoring him and the relationship wasn't going well anymore...i broke up with him afterwards ..i love him but I can't accept his flaws ..we tried to get back together but end up blaming each other for everything.

Six months later, I'm in a relationship with another guy..he has his flaws too but not bad...
Now the problem is I still love my ex and we still talk and chat almost everyday...

He is the first person I call when I need advice and vice versa..my ex family thinks we are still together and always call to check up on me....this is causing problems in my new relationship....

I decided to cut contact with my ex but he is isn't ready to let me go and neither am i..

Just last week my bf broke up with me and told me to call him when am ready to cut off contact with my ex...

Am really confused and I don't know how to do what he asked me...pls anyone with advice on how to forget someone should help me

I need to forget and move on from my ex
....pls advice... Thanks

Pls no one should come here and start telling me I met a good guy and toying with his feelings..

My ex is also a good guy, he just has his flaws...I just need advice...

Thanks

so why are you bothering us if he's a good guy.?

Officialgarri:
Mrs Abu, your issue is not one that conclusions could be made hastily.
Infact many wives would have set all hell loose.
I personally would have advised that you should have retailiated by seizing his international passport, or just cause some kind of havoc that will hold him back in Nigeria .... or restrict his freedom

But while I acknowledge and appreciate your tolerance according ''to your own side of the story", it would be easier if we could hear your husband's side of the story.

I mean, there are things you could be doing that's making your hubby abhor and avoid you.

How's your attitude like around him?
Does he complain about you being stubborn?
What exactly has he tried to stop you from doing but you wouldn't listen?

blaming her for the Idiots behaviour? Something is wrong with you!!

Mynd44:
But imagine if Babcock came out with a press statement saying they will be taking court actions against people who leaked the video and support the lady in question to justice against those who are using it to shame the lady.

Imagine they say although they hold morals in high regard, they also understand that she did it on holidays and they will make sure they set an example of those who are hiding to cause trouble and shame the woman for something that is not a crime.

Not every time try to remove yourself; sometimes shake and break tables. Show support and strength and stand for justice.

Sometimes be remembered for staying on the side of justice instead of triggering your flight emotion

but if they don't, it is still okay. They have a right to protect their name, identity and brand

its interesting you think this way. A whole adult behaves irresponsibly but you WAnt Babcock to be the one to clear her mess? Our reasoning as Nigerians baffles me