₦airaland Forum

Batholomeu673:
Lol I’m Liverpool fan. In fact Chelsea fall my hand

Check my signature to migrate to Canada

4-0 by 24th minute. When it is not Huddersfield they are playing

Batholomeu673:
I’m on the way to watch man city Chelsea now. Just wait till evening when i have the time okay. Good girl

Hope you are not a Chelsea fan because this beating is embarrassing.

mhizdebbygold:
I hate it when this topic comes up and some ignorant people will take sides with the wife....so her mum have been slapping her and she have been retaliating?..
Is she high on something?
That is a big insult no matter what. That means slapping her husband won't be a problem to her. Bia who born her sef?
If I were the husband that divorce will be immediate
Rubbish![color=#990000][/color]

Lol... nobody should be slapping anybody. Everyone keep your hands to yourself. It is domestic violence

Not all the guys. It is the kids amongst them that are still trying to understand life.

Real men don't bash ladies.

wealthyhenry:
Yes both were wrong but the wife's is near abominable

Only in Africa...with some cultural ideas that promotes bullying by elders.

khiaa:
What gives your family members the right to lay hands on your spouse when the spouse isn't harming them? How are you going to protect your spouse from your family when you are not there. There is only so much a person can take, if this were me and his family thought they could place hands on me they can be ready for a take down. To hell with him if he puts his family above me, I'm out.

In church today, Leke Alder was the guest speaker. He talked about this issue of men putting their mothers above their wives. He said it is an African thing... mostly Nigerian.

People get the concept of a man and wife wrong.

khiaa:
If you know they were equally wrong then why would you attack your sil causing more violence. What you should do is be the mediator and break it up.

Not attack physically ooo. Maybe what I should have said is caution or reproach her.

The truth is that it is a troublesome mother that will slap her DIL especially when she was not provoked and for something that is not her business. A peaceful woman won't do that.

So it would be something she had coming.

How many Nigerians are rational?

Livecamp09:
Your husband will definitely agree in as much as u are still the one paying the house rent of that weakling u call your husband

Very funny. You assumption speaks so much of your level of intelligence. But it's fine.

Him and his mum are very close and they talk almost everyday but he is a brutally honest person and doesn't take sides.

If you call that a weakling, your problem.

Don't bother your little head about our rent. It should not be your problem.

jakandeola:
I always like d way u chat.I gree my mum is not god but am a person DAT belived DAT no mata how old u are u can Neva be wiser Dan ur mum. she may make mistake but is not possible DAT shes wrong when am right. wat elder see in sitting we young pple Neva see even as we stand. my mum can manipulate me cos most time I see reason wit what she say. and she reason with me too.if I disagree about sometin I tell her and try to let her see reason with me if not den I follow wat she say simple as abc

But you know that mums can act in her own selfish interests. I have seen it happen a lot and it had caused problems in homes because the unsuspecting child believes that his/her mum can do no wrong and her word is the gospel.

Estellie:
Auntie, calm down... Just like you said earlier, you ain't from a tribe where elders are worshipped just because of their grey hairs, I'm the total opposite.. I'm from a tribe where elders are highly respected, really really respected...

The MIL was wrong, that is true. buh that's not enough reason to retaliate... Imagine slapping someone old enough to be your mum! I can't even imagine that.... I can't justify the wife's reaction. she's not endowed with reason, not the slightest bit...

Well...the "auntie" thing wasn't necessary. I don't agree with the retaliation but I also don't agree with the first slap. To me, they are equally wrong.

The older woman that is supposed to be full of wisdom but she didn't exhibit that.

I just discussed this with my husband and his response was that she deserved it that she had no right. But we agree to disagree

Estellie:
...Yeah the MIL was wrong buh that's not enough reason to retaliate.?.. The wife deserved the slap sef, imagine her garnering debts just to throw a birthday party for a little baby that doesn't even know a thing...What's in her head? brain or sawdust?..

My dear, I'm also surprised at the comments here.. one is suppose to take a MIL as a mother, and I know our mothers have slapped us countless of times and no one retaliates that... Even if a stranger that is old enough to be my mum slaps me, I don't see myself retaliating, how will I sleep that night if I do that?..


I so much respect my mum and that respect goes out to all elderly people I meet..

It is difficult to take a MIL as as mother especially when she has the interests of her own kids before you.

How many mothers still slap their children that are grown and independent? It is actually an affront for the MIL to slap her DIL. But we keep using age to cover up what is not right.

My MIL will not come and dictate to me in my home, not to talk of slap me. Though I won't return the slap but she will regret it.

I just loved my mum, you cannot disrespect her because she minds her business and stays in her lane

funmisticqueen:
Something similar happened to my Aunt when I was little. I cant remember the details but she married a Yoruba man, and she and her mother in law had an altercation in the kitchen concerning what her husband would eat. Things got heated and the MIL slapped her. Her husband came to the kitchen when he heard the slap and didn't reprimand his mother. My aunt held her cheek for a long time and went to back her baby, went to the kitchen, carried a raw egg then walked round the compound once. She then started saying some stuff in Benin for like 5 mins, threw the egg on a tree and went inside to sleep.

Next morning she packed out of the house, not too long afterwards her husband and mother In law started purging and both had to be hospitalized. They were discharged some days later but when they ate food made in the house the diarrhoea started again. Nobody told them to come and beg her. When they did she came home prayed for them, followed them home and cooked peppersoup for them. The diarrhoea stopped at once.

She and her Mil have respected themselves since then

Your aunt strong o. But some MILs are overbearing. How can she be arguing about what her son will eat when he has a wife to worry about that.

When my MIL was around, she never bothered about that or interfered in our issues.

Co-exist...Yes, marry...No

ghettochild4u:
To all d ladies saying d mother had no right...clap for yourself....
If dem slap una mama like that.. Make u tell d slapper well done n praise dem oooo..

I will attack my SIL but I will also tell my mum that she didn't try and she brought it upon herself. Both of them re are EQUALLY wrong. Let us not use age to cover the truth.

Michelle55:
Like I said earlier on.. Mothers react differently and since that's the type of MIL she has.. She Shouldn't have slapped her back.. The son would have definitely spoken to the mom and apology would have been made and in double fold. You know how elders behaves even when the issue being discussed doesn't concern them. The MIL was wrong( mothers ain't perfect so they are bound to make mistakes as well) DIL was super wrong(she could have been the sane person here but her temper spoilt everything) you don't solve anything by having flaring tempers here and there

DILs are not perfect too. She is also a woman like her MIL. And they are both equally wrong.

Michelle55:
Like I said earlier on.. Mothers react differently and since that's the type of MIL she has.. She Shouldn't have slapped her back.. The son would have definitely spoken to the mom and apology would have been made and in double fold. You know how elders behaves even when the issue being discussed doesn't concern them. The MIL was wrong( mothers ain't perfect so they are bound to make mistakes as well) DIL was super wrong(she could have been the sane person here but her temper spoilt everything) you don't solve anything by having flaring tempers here and there

I like the fact that the MIL got the slap though so that she will thread carefully next time and with others. Though I would not have slapped her.

Elders should try to mind their business especially when it is not theirs. They should not try to milk the fact that they are respected because of their age.

I am not from the tribe where they worship elders unnecessary. You only get the respect you earn and deserve and not because of your white hair.

funmisticqueen:
GBAM.

Lol..

Michelle55:
Mothers tends to act differently when faced with issues but that doesn't give the lady the right to slap her MIL back... That was the only way she could show her displeasure concerning what the DIL did, trust me if her son was the one that did such, he would have received same treatment as well. She slapped her not because she hated her but because that's the way that came to her mind to reprimand her not minding who's involved.
MIL are just like our mothers at home, are you trying to say that had it been it was her mom that slapped her, she would have retaliated in same measure?
The way mother A handles issues is totally different from the way mother B will react.
Let's keep in mind that mothers are human and are bound to make mistakes as well, the best she should have done is to let it go, then talk to her MIL calmly after the issue must have died down.. Believe me, the MIL will apologize for the slap and further advice her on how to run her home.
Where I'm having issues with the man is sending her outta the house. I'm not in support of that atall.

She is not her daughter and she doesn't have the right to interfere in their issues and even slap her. She overstepped her boundaries and got what she deserved.

I am not saying the lady should have slapped back. But the if mama had respected herself and butted out, she would have been respected too.

Rubbiish:

Where do u stay, so i can come to your house and give u a kiss...

Lol. Sending address...

jakandeola:
my mum is my mum did u knw no mata how wrong shes still my mum if I did bad to mum even at almost 40 mum has right to slap me or do wateva but if my mum wrong me can I slap her. Den one useless woman now slap her

Wrong!! Your mum is a human being and can do wrong and make mistakes. Some people put their mums on a pedestal like they are gods and allow their mums manipulate them as adults.

Your mum was once a young girl who made mistakes before she had you. Seeing her as a never do wrong is unrealistic.

Rubbiish:
U make me laff...how old are u?
What can your brother do? Beat her?
Your brother can only advice u to leave d marriage, but can't hurt your MIL...But i like ur approach tho...

My brother is not meant to beat her. He is supposed to caution her according to tradition as my father instead of me retaliating. That is what I mean

CanineOfJackal:
I will blame the guy for allowing the mum to dictate in his family because such action by the MIL shows she has always have a foot in that marriage.


If my wife slaps my Mum, I don't know what my siblings will do to her because she might not be alive the next day

If my MIL slaps me, I won't even retaliate or say anything to her. I will call my eldest brother who stands as my father and report her. And my brother is not a nice person at all. He is not someone whose toes you want to step on.

And from then on, I will put her at arms length since she has given me the right to by slapping me.

jakandeola:
d day my wife or anybody tried DAT DAT person will die.yes cos I will beat the hell out of DAT person. if as a woman u got Brian why not report to ur hubby? u now carry hand to slap my mum I will beat her disgraced her and send her back to her family

And what will you do to your mother?

Your mum was so wrong to slap her and she had the retaliation coming. It could have been a reflex action from your wife or something that she has always wanted to do.

Your wife should have kept her cool though. But what right does your mum have to slap her? If she had respected herself by allowing both of you solve your issue, she wouldn't have been disrespected.

So...both of them were wrong.

As hard as it may seem, give her space...put her at arms length. Reduce your calls (resist the urge to call her often). And when she calls, don't pick up, then call back in 1hr.

When she sends you a chat, delay in responding also. You need to stop acting like your life depends on her. She knows you are crazy about her and she is taking advantage of that.

All these things are not easy to do, but it will help you get your respect back or move on.

ifyalways:
Don't go and bleach your baby o. What's wrong with being black? Are u and your wife naturally fair?

Babies are usually fair in their first months, her original colour is what u get from 3 months going .

The palm kernel oil your wife is using is actually very good. So is ori( shea butter) and coconut oil.

I don't think ori and palm kernel oil works for everyone. It darkens some people. There is nothing wrong with being dark except the dark skin was brought about by something as the Op explained

Op you can try Johnson lotion or Aveeno or better still ask a her paediatrician

Undertaker001:
that's actually the greatest female asslicker on this forum..
No one beats him..

Mr nice Guy

Respecting ladies doesn't mean someone is an asslicker. So bashing ladies makes you a better person?

DanDeeBoss:
Okay... Keep being sure, You are free to show me where and when I "bashed" them... Madam Sure

I should have asked "are you sure" instead of saying I am sure. Sorry

Really nice write up.

It is about being aware of yourself and being discerning of others and situations. You cannot be collecting and collecting and not giving. You have to give something too.

Even in love relationships...one person does the giving, loving until it becomes annoying and they end it.

If she is abusive to other men, be sure that she will also be to you sooner or later because you will definitely offend her one day. Except you will never do anything to offend her.

People that are disrespectful to men will one day do the same to their own men because it is already in them.

I was actually expecting another"Nigerian girls" bashing thread.

Don't worry the lady bashers are on their way. Take cover