₦airaland Forum

Yambee:
Bros where una dey meet these kind of girls sef?online?

I like to meet girl wey like to beg money,still not met any. Yab wey i go yab them ehn.

Badoo, 2go, Snapchat...

I think it is just a hobby for these guys. They just enjoy bashing ladies like they enjoy self service

SilentListener:
You spend your time too much on Nl ,and I thought you are a married woman, smh. bitches everywhere

Only you has the right to live on NL. Move along if you have no reasonable argument

Martinez39:
Lol. Funmisticqueen was talking about the MGTOW movement and you followed up with about "those men." You didn't mention MGTOW and you didn't have to bash the MGTOW men.

Wrong! Read again. Funmi was responding to Poco's response to me.

She mentioned red pill. Does red pill apply to only MGTOW?

SilentListener:
You spend your time too much on Nl ,and I thought you are a married woman, smh. bitches everywhere

I didn't know my life was supposed to stop because I am married. Yours can stop when you get married.

Martinez39:
You don't know what the MGTOW movement is all about. Educate yourself on it and stop strawmanning.

Did I mention MGTOW? Read to understand and not to attack.

funmisticqueen:
Lol. Why would you join a movement you can't tell your significant other about?. Cos no woman with sense will date a red pill man even the so called red pill woman like amakavula.

So they have resorted to using the Same underhanded tricks and schemes women have been using on them for centuries. Lack of originality if you ask me
One directed conversation with a man is enough to know where he lies and if he is worth it or not.

How do they even live their lives according to some concept and rules? Isn't it easier and more convenient for them to be themselves?
A lot of these men are people with low self esteem/confidence using the alpha male concept to cover up their insecurities.

There is nothing as easy and effortless as being yourself.

Hazard...the god of Chelsea

pocohantas:
When I see alphamales/MGTOW, I see bunch of elements who have confused themselves with their illusions. I see a man who has been hurt by women and is trying so hard to prove to women that he can do without them. They are worse than the "feminist" they so hate.

Show me a man who is in a loving relationship with a woman who loves him back that is into this alphamale/MGTOW stuff...and I will show you a virgin mother of 5.

OP, congratulations on being liberated. Watch how happy you will be now... Alpha males spend so much time scheming, you can only imagine how stressful love/relationship must be for them. Zero-spontaneity

Trying to be like Harvey Spectre or Christian Grey in Nigeria.

And you are right...a man that is truly loved by a woman and whom he loves to will not have all this ideas. It's mostly guys who have been dealt with by girls or guys trying to prove a point.

It must really be exhausting following some set of rules like a a robot

kollinzgee:
For all the mumu men and feminist asslickers who dont understand what alphamale is all about especially the op who i thought was intelligent before he fell my hand today.to understand the alphamale concept am going to use women as specimen they play hard to get,they act uninterest in sex even though they love it,they insult most men that approach them,they are cocky and confident (you will rearly see a shy lady) they make you believe they are special as a result they are at the top of the dating game women are in control of 90% of relationships in this world it is always the man who is afraid to loose the girl,men are always the ones falling in love this is obvious here on nairaland all these are the positive outcome of the great mind game women play on men and the gullible men who are the majority(betamales) fall for the mind game .
Now alphamales are the wise minority they wokeup from the spell most men are under they copy all the tricks and gimmicks women use and give them a dose of their medicine in a subtle way and the ladies keep falling for them looolzzZ why? because women are human beings too they will surely value what is scarce..did you know a girl once warned her friends about me that am dangerous that i can make anygirl fall hahahha she was once a victim of my tricks if not because she was engaged i would have fuuked her she escaped my trap......being alpha simply means rising above pussy and building
your confidence ladies will notice it in your attitude and follow you
..

What is the benefit of being an alpha male? What does it add to them? What do guys benefit from being alpha males?

I just knew that Ubunja would be the first to comment

ElsonMorali:
You make valid points madam but I'm an incurable old school kinda person.

Check out that modern baby backer that was posted up there. I think it's a good compromise.

Though I agree that if you are in a crowded area you may want to put the baby in front to avoid unnecessary touching.

But I think your shoulders and ribcage will thank you if you back your baby more.

I like the modern baby backer at least it won't look archaic and it is more classy that dressing up and tying wrapper on top.

ElsonMorali:
You make valid points madam but I'm an incurable old school kinda person.

Check out that modern baby backer that was posted up there. I think it's a good compromise.

Though I agree that if you are in a crowded area you may want to put the baby in front to avoid unnecessary touching.

But I think your shoulders and ribcage will thank you if you back your baby more.

I like the modern baby backer at least it won't look archaic and it is more Behind that dressing up and tying wrapper on top.

ElsonMorali:
I think backing the baby is better than carrying in front for obvious reasons.

The child is much more comfortable sleeping on your back, facing the direction of movement rather than backing it.

If you tripped and fell (hopefully not), the baby in front becomes your soft landing instead of vice versa.

There is more pressure on your shoulders and ribcage when you hang the baby from the front. This causes other health issues for the mother.

I think there are modern baby backers like the picture above if you don't want to use the traditional "oja".

Just my opinion.

And what if the woman falls on her back as she is backing the child? That is also a possibility.

And a baby being backed cannot see where you are going.

And if I am standing where there are many people, I prefer to have my baby in front where I can see her instead of at the back where she can be touched without my consent

realtalk19:
tying wrappers about is different from backing a child.it does not say breast provided u ar wearing a bra. even after 2 kids with enough backing ,my boobs are still standing.

sagging boobs depends on ur body elasticity

Good.

I was responding to someone's question about backing and sagging boobs. Whatever the case, I never liked backing. My issue is the fact that some particular people make it seem like anything other than backing is not safe or acceptable

realtalk19:
for me I prefer backing my child.its convinient for me unlike carriage in front whereby u still needed to support the weight of the baby with ur hands.

my son is 2years and I still back him conviniently when going out but can u put a 2year old in front?

She isn't 2 yet so I don't know. It depends on her size. At that point, she will walk on her own or I carry her in my arms. It is not usually long distance. I don't support with my hands

But backing is not an option for me. For one, I like to always have aaa visual of her and have her in front where no one can just touch her.

I never even saw my elder ones back except in the house. How will I baff up and now use wrapper or whatever to confuse my dressing? Lol

thorpido:
Times have changed.Old school mothers will not agree.
Whether you use a carrier or back the baby,what is most important is comfort.......for the mother and for the baby.
I have however seen some mothers carry a baby in a carrier in such a way that you know that baby is uncomfortable.

It's just that people won't just mind their business and it is annoying. They believe their way is the standard. You can imagine an okada rider riding pass and yelling that I should go and buy wrapper .

Mumifortune:
I use to back my baby but will start using carrier, someone told me backing baby sags the breast and people around me too like forming effizy as if backing baby is old school "village style". Meanwhile the important thing is to do whatever is comfortable and convenient for u and baby.

I have heard that too and there might be some truth in it. Even as a teenager then, my mum scolded me for tying wrappers a lot at home that it would sag my breast.

Splinz:


It depends on what kind of carrier you're talking about, as one can backed a baby using a baby sling or carrier. See the picture attached.

However, if you're talking about a carrier that typifies a basket carrying tubers of yam, you may as well bear with the aged woman.

If you were to ask me, I'd say a baby carrier that fastens the baby to the mother is the best.

The regular carrier that you put the baby in front. Quite comfy. My baby used to sleep as soon as I put her in it

It's in the past. Although sleeping with a pastor and married man is quite heavy.

I remember seeing hearing of how girls fight to clean and cook in one student pastor's lodge in school. They would fight the person he gives more attention and be keeping malice.

Another expensive joke

Hello Nairalanders,

This topic has always been a controversy. Some weeks back I had my baby in the carrier as I was walking down the road and one woman(looks like in her 50s) shouted from a car that I was punishing my baby and I should back her.
My older neighbour has asked if I am a kangaroo.
Please is backing the standard? Do you ladies back or use a carrier? What is your take on this?

gloria34:
I still finds it hard to believe anyone will brag about beating their mother in law. I am yet to see a wicked mother in law in real life tho, my elder sisters have great MILS And no such issues have arose. I hope 4 same 4 myself

I have seen one. One that was coming for omugwo and said she is only coming to take care of the baby and not her DIL. Her DILs mum could not make it till three months and much more older and not that strong.

The MIL has a strong hold on the husband who is the only son and she brought confusion. Serious church woman but with a wicked heart

kazyhm:
I did understand your point but do you think its possible for the mother in law to just turn a deaf ear...........its a case of you want to ruin my son's life in stupid debt.......


She shouldn't have reacted

Her son's home is not supposed to be her business. If she has trained him up well to be a man, she should be able to trust that he can handle his issues.

People see things differently depending on the tribe. In my place, nobody interferes. Once you marry, you are given space. And as a man, you protect your wife.

And for my mum to visit, it means she was invited. If she goes, she doesn't sleep over. Everybody mind your business.

kazyhm:
One thing is synonymous to Africa.......inherited culture...... You can't wish it away from people's perspective



The issue here is endurance for a lasting family bond........ Her angry retaliation has actually put question mark on her respect for her husband and her love and acceptance of her husband family........because she has added petrol to fire and her children will feel the heat as well


She also have pushed her husband in a situation that needs maturity and wisdom.........


But 2 years birthday shouldn't have cause this if she really respect, love and have accepted her husband situation........ Instead of her getting in debt just for a birthday the kid will only remember by pictures........why not get in debt to help her husband be better..........

The truth is that the issue wasn't something that big, and it was blown out of proportion. The MIL actually caused all this problem. If only she minded her business and told them bye bye and left them to sort their issues, all this would not be going on.

The man didn't marry his wife for his family to be slapping her at will. She didn't leave her father's house where her parents most likely don't beat her as an adult to come and start collecting slaps in her matrimonial home.

When in-laws have a say in a marriage, that is the beginning of problems.

kazyhm:
OK....reasonably sensible.......

Should have said this all the while dragging.... The right to slap and the effrontery to retaliate

Alrt

Dragging what? I was just not ok with people who were trying to absorb the MIL of any blame because she is his mum or elderly

kazyhm:
OK....mature people.......

Answer the question because she actually did slapped your mom.........

I only put the brag scenario to put a prior warning of what your brother's wife could do.

My mum is not troublesome and will always mind her business especially in her son's marriage. So that could never happen.

If my mum were the troublesome type who doesn't mind her business and goes to her son's house and slaps his wife, I would really blame my brother for giving our mum such rights and blame her for overstepping her boundaries.

Then I will tell the wife that she should have had some respect for her husband and his mum enough to restrain herself.

kazyhm:
You've tried so much to make sense but.......

Be sincere in answering this question. If your brother's wife slapped your mom or brag before you that she can slap your mom and heaven will not fall, will you say all this thrash ?


It is even before not talk than all this nonsense you've been typing

Did this lady in this scenario brag that she would slap the woman and heaven will not fall? Or did she slap the woman because she wanted to, or because it was a retaliation? Because you are talking of a different scenario.

I will ignore your first and last statement. Try to disagree or argue objectively without insults. We can agree to disagree. That is how mature people communicate.

Mancala:
True words. Mama should have excused herself and left, or kept silent, even if the son did not ensure she left first. It was none of her business. Mama should never have slapped her daughter in law. It was extremely disrespectful. An assault on the wife is an assault on the entire family. So he sent away the wife that was giving him transport money to go to work? I'm guessing his Mum gives him pocket money now huh?
The man is inexperienced. His extended family is too much involved in his immediate family affairs. That is a recipe for disaster.

Most people don't see this. It is really extremely disrespectful to her DIL and shows that the husband doesn't have the say in his house.

There are good MILs...many of them that I have met. But there are also those that make their DILs lives difficult just because they can.

WORDWORLD:
Like the Africans in this video clip?!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYFI1-FTw94

Though, a movie. Its a reflection of what happens too in their society.

I don't understand. In that movie, both of them were equally wrong too. The MIL was not absorbed of blame because she was elderly.

Mancala:
This is absolutely true. But I blame the man and his lack of wisdom and foresight for allowing this to happen. If I were in his shoes, I would have allowed my Mum to depart first, then invite the irate woman in to make her case. What good could have come out of a stranger flinging accusations at your wife in front of your mother who already bears a grudge on the matter at hand? I guess you haven't been married for long huh? An experienced man can smell trouble coming a mile off and change course to avoid it.

The truth is that the case was none of the mother's business and she was not directly provoked by her DIL. Something that is not major.

What if she witnessed her son and DIL fighting and she insulted him? She would have cut cane and flogged her.

Seriously people should know their boundaries... young or old.

I have been married for a few years. I just don't give my in-laws the allowance to insult me.