₦airaland Forum

Op don't do anything to try to get their attention so that you don't seem desperate. Just focus in studies and be free.. be yourself. Originality attracts

trustyshoess:
Spoken like a troll.
At least now I know I would be wasting my time having any type of debate with you and therefore will be ignoring any future mentions from you
Happy trolling

Ok pot

trustyshoess:
Well that's great. Just next time, stay out of topics you don't understand if you refuse to learn. Simple

Sorry to disappoint you but I will be in any topic I want to be in just because.

gaby:
Immoral and rotten behaviours includes and not restricted to the following:
Lying
Stealing
Fornicating
Adultery
Backbiting
Gossiping
Envy/jealousy
Hate
Prejudice
The list is endless

Peruse through your bible and you'd see it written that there is no small or big sin.

Thank you.

What you listed is not exempted off course. And when someone does it even if they cannot help themselves, we shouldn't "ok" it because it is not "hurting" anyone. As you rightly said they are all sins...no big or small.

gaby:
This has come to be his craft and he sure is killing it and making a honest living off it so what gives. Na him body. If there's judgement day, he'd be giving account of it all by himself.

There is a lesson to learn from Bob and that is...whatever you or your hand seeks to do, by all means be consistent and do it well and the rest shall be history.

Bob is become famous and rich without harming or causing anyone pains.

I admire the guy's "I can do and I don't give an eff" attitude. If most of us who are claiming to be self-righteous and better than him would just take a cue from his attitude, we won't even be chanced enough to criticize him. We'd be so too busy getting creative and leaving a mark.

Thumbs up "Bob the builder". Who or what am I to judge you and point fingers.

Gorgeous pics.

That is the new line people use these days that validates immoral or rotten behavior..."as long he is not causing anyone pain"

How is their relationship? How does your mum treat your wife when she comes around? That could be the answer to the issue.

Besides women are more emotional and may not be able to pretend. If there is some kind of friction between them, she won't pretend and call for calling sake.

Just try to find out from both of them if there is any problem.

Biafrareform:
Like she ain't aware I am not ready?

She ain't even ready for this.

Don't know where this obsession about marriage came from lately.

Is becoming boring

Communicate. Ask her what changed. That her plan was to do Masters and you thought both of you were on the same page...what has changed? Is it because of her friends or too many suitors. Ask her all this and tell her that she knows you are not ready. But if she is ready, she can go ahead

socialmediaman:
Nigeria is in soup in the hands of these people

A foreigner said that the problem with Nigerians is that we are very tolerant of our politicians. Just look at how they rubbish citizens while refusing to increase minimum wage.

Elder0001:
Why are you hell bent on defending bride price ? Because this isn't the first time you've defended bride price on this section.

Like eketem said ; Women will complain about being second class in homes but will not want to get rid of bride price that ensures they remain enslaved.


Bride price should be scrapped because it makes women inferior beings.

Don't get me wrong. I am neither for bride price or against. I am neutral on the issue.

But what I am saying is that a man that will enslave his wife will do so even if she is given to him for free. Look at the Yorubas that pay next to nothing. Their men are not any better. It is a mentality issue not bride price

trustyshoess:
And knowledge is power. Time spent getting knowledge is not wasted time. It will prevent you from arguing blindly hun. Get knowledge

Sweetheart I will not waste my time on something I already know and not interested in digging further.

I will leave it to you to keep updating yourself since it is your area of specialization.

ZIMDRILL:
am afraid it is to someone men, you are failing to understand that not all men think like you or take things like you. you are stuck in on way of seeing things and not exploring the thinking of other men

am sure you have heard many men besides love they married for other reasons i,e someone to have kids with, cook and wash etc when such things dont materialise especially after being frustrated with demands during bride pricing negonitions, some men bring out the subject if bride price they dont get what they expectes "is this what paid bride price for"

.

You lost me there. However, blaming paying off dowry for any situation by a man is just a case of "it was the devil that pushed me"

Men should take responsibility for their folly and flaws and not blame it dowry payment.

trustyshoess:
Ma'am your statement was along the lines of "get a man who treats you right and remain a feminist then I'll really believe you".
I hope you've done the research I advised you to do cos it seens to me like you still don't get it

You read the "along the lines" message... obviously not to understand.

Do research on feminism? To what benefit? Time is money.

ZIMDRILL:
1 take emotions away

2 read slowly understand my point

i said some men are abusive becoz there corrupted by money becoz they think money is the solution to every problem hence they have no respect and value other people becoz they take you as an asset thar can be replaced

i never said bride price should be removed Nope we are talking of how some men entangle it in their abuse treatment of the wife

I understand your post perfectly and I say bride price has absolutely nothing to do with the way each man thinks.

See the Indian culture that was raised here for instance...the women are the one who pay dowry but are still maltreated and abused by the "husbands they bought".

bukatyne:
@Elder0001:

Brideprice is Biblical (or should I say Jewish) and and if I could scrap it, I would.

However Indians pay to marry their men yet they are maltreated on top their money.

I like how Yorubas adapted it: we return the brideprice to the groom that we are not selling our daughters. The husband brings a list of things for engagement (depending on the family) and the bride's family hosts the engagement and gives token gifts to the groom's family.

That way, nobody is bought and sold.

Still the Yoruba wives are abused and maltreated and so are the Indian women who even pay.

That means the purpose of this thread is defeated. More research and facts should be the basis and not mere feelings and emotions.

2buffagain:
Sha sha May your wife sha not come into a major inheritance or achieve great financial gains.
May she be poorer than you and 100% dependent on you for all things.
May she be fired whenever it seems like her income is about to go over your own.
May her business scatter whenever it develops the liver to want to supercede your relatively meager income.

You still haven't said "Amen"...sah.

Even if a wife is wealthier than her husband, she still needs him. Don't be deceived. Money really is not everything. But obviously, many don't understand that.

ZIMDRILL:
yes sometimes dowry has nothing to with it on some abusive men

but dowry make it worse on those who get abusive husbands as some cases family marries of daughter to a rich guy, usually these rich guys are corrupted by money they have no respect for other person, becoz money buys them whatever they want, when money is rejected as trade of for something eg wife doesnt want expensive things but her husband to be naturally a loving person spending more time together etc.

such husbands communicate via money, so they remind these wives by saying i bought you etc or i bought you out of poverty etc

the woman would everything in terms of material things but there is no love affection from husband

Are you saying men don't love their wives because they pay bride price? What about the men who love their wives dearly and do not take her for granted even after paying bride price? Take away bride price and a man will still be who he is.

People that are abusive will be that way whether you collect bride price or give them the wife for free. There are couples that have been living together for years like husband and wife with children who haven't been married in any form still facing such issues.

So even if a rich man married a less privileged lady without paying a dime, he will still remind her that he brought her out of poverty if that is the kind of person he is.

If we are going to take away bride price, it should be because we want a change and not because it will mitigate against abuse, slavery, itemizing, etc.

IamD18:
Nice thread. One thing we should understand is that we have different traditions and culture, and the earlier we start respecting people's culture the better for us.

Bride price or not, it won't stop a cheater, woman-beater, irresponsible man from being a bad husband. It won't still stop a respondsible man from being a good husband. We should get that.

Just like most South Eastern States in Nigeria. You pay bride price to marry from there, it's their culture and tradition, they don't force people to marry from their place, they won't force you to pay, you do that willingly because of the respect you have for your wife and their culture. That's what it means to respect people's way of life.

Even a certain tribe in Nigeria can kill just to have a South Southern and Eastern woman in their family, they will leave their place where you can marry with just RED OIL and PEPPER, they'll leave their free women, travel down to South East to marry by paying for bride price with their life savings because they can't resist UKWU NWATA NWANYI IGBO . That's what it means to go for the best women.

Let's please respect people's culture and tradition because no matter how we rant on social media, it won't still change the reality about tradition.


Peace.

Exactly at the bolded.Seeing women as property or maltreatment in any form has nothing to do with bride price.

What about men who cohabit with a woman who probably even has a child for him whose dowry he hasn't paid? He hasn't done any form of marriage proceedings but still treats her like a property and disrespecs and enslaves her.

It is a thing of the mind and mentality. it has nothing to do with paying bride price. Even a boyfriend that hasn't paid anything can do the mentioned things. Let us stop attaching these behaviors to bride price.

Request a list from your hospital.

Then you can get the things at a part of Lagos Island where they sell baby things. I think it is Adeniji.

id4sho:
Rebel, I like your stand. we die here.

We die there o. He has married and lived his life. He should allow me live my own in peace.

trustyshoess:
Lol who said that feminism is based around hate for men? I have a good genuine man who loves me and treats me right, yet I'm a feminist so what's your point?
Please if you're gonna speak about feminism, at least take 10 minutes to do some research so you'll know what it's about. A lot of men are also feminists in case you didn't know

Then you didn't read my post to understand but to attack. Read again and understand

God knows that my father will disown me that day because I will leave with my husband.

BlackAdam55:
even on a Sunday morning you're cursing

Cursing? Is there a new definition?

trustyshoess:
This is what baffles me about some women. Why would I need a man to make me feel emotionally fulfilled or loved? I love myself enough for me. A man? Yes I might WANT a man but I most definitely do not NEED one. Why would I want to depend on another human being? It all begins with loving oneself. Love yourself

When you get a good and genuine man who really loves you and treat you right and you still come back and preach feminism, maybe it will be believable then.

We have too many women who changed when they found love. It makes it seems like feminists are heart broken women or just generally women who have been dealt with by men.

See this mere sperm depositor talking

Martin0:
come nor dey hype yourself by-urself

I am only saying that a Volkswagen beetle or "Keke marwa" can easily be scratched but you would think twice before scratching a Bentley or a Ferrari.

Troubledmind:
She hasn't done this before, and no one knows she's going to spend it, the money was given to her to help buy stuff for resale.

And you want to try it the second time? It is better you don't.If she can dip her hand into the money once, it is likely she will do it again... sentiments aside.

There are some people that will never touch money that is kept with them no matter how bad their situation is. They would rather call and request for money. Let's not be sentimental here. She was wrong to use out of the money. And you will be justified not to trust her with it again

Troubledmind:
So its now wrong to trust your mother?

No it isn't. However, it doesn't mean that if he has money for an important project he should give it her again knowing she might spend it and he won't be able to react and it will jeopardize my he project.

It's just like my friend who lost her grandma (father's mum). They sent money for preparations plus for coffin to their dad. By the time they went for the burial, there was no coffin and a lot of things were not done. They had to do last minute fund raising. Will you advise them to trust their dad next time?

So to avoid stories, he should look for other alternatives.

Try and get over it quickly and learn a lesson from it.

Next time trust someone else or yourself alone as the case may be

I like my body too much to scratch it in the name of tattoos. No matter how fine the design, I will pass

Your friend should better fight for what she wants and stop allowing daddy and pastor control her like a puppet. It means she didn't really want to marry the first guy... that's why she just let go of him.

She should be firm and stand her ground. Every resistance will relax.