₦airaland Forum

Interesting

Your husband is the main player here. Many of those things she uttered were borne from what ur husband had told her.

She’s taken ur place in ur home because ur husband empowered her. If u use force to move her out, then realize that u have not seen the last of her and I can assure u it will get messier.

What is husband doing and saying in all these?
His response will give u a pointer if u are still needed or not.
To me he seems like another weakling. What will those calls do for someone that is hell bent on her stand to stick with him?

If I were u, I won’t fight the lady, let the man fix her and if he can’t there’s no point forcing a dead horse to drink water.

He’s best bet is to leave the house for and move some where else if the lady really get ogbanje

Op
U have made a big mistake by renting an apartment just to cohabitate. I am not sure u have started saving for next rent because u already had a full year notice .

As far as I am concerned u got urself into this from the sweet talk of a fair lady.

U have had ur full from ur lusts and ur eyes are now open to see clearly that u can’t take over her responsibilities.

Well it’s time to man up.

Here’s my advice.
I understand u both love each other and hoping to get married someday.
But,
As the situation is at the moment, u will have to take steps.


1. She will have to leave and go back to her brother’s place. She is not yet ur wife, I don’t see a reason why u both will live as man and wife when u are not married to each other.
The moment she leaves 80% of ur problems are solved.

2. U will need to step up ur money making game. Look for other streams income and venture because u can’t keep urself together, maintain a relationship talkless of getting married and paying expedient bills like rent just depending on what you are doing now. U will choke

3. From now on, never make any relationship one sided, both of u are in it. U contribute more as a man but ur girl must also contribute too of course asides her body.
u must tell her from the onset, for eg ” hey I stock the home with food, u buy the gas”
In marriage it’s like this too or else u go quick die.

U are under no obligation to take responsibility of a lady u ain’t married to when u are not her father. That’s her father’s job until u marry her.

That is y u made a big mistake by cohabiting.

In conclusion,
Let her leave ur house immediately but continue to maintain a decent relationship with her until u get married.

Get another hustle to improve your financial security. Or else u won’t go far in life.

All the best.

Ghali Umar Na'Abba was a Nigerian politician who served as the Speaker of the House of Representatives from 1999 to 2003.
He was a prominent figure in the Nigerian political landscape and was known for his outspokenness and his commitment to democracy and good governance.

Here are some of his most famous quotes:

"The legislature is not a rubber stamp. It is not an extension of the executive arm of government. It is a co-equal branch of government."
This quote highlights Na'Abba's belief in the importance of the separation of powers and the role of the legislature as a check on the executive.

"We must not allow the enemies of democracy to take advantage of our temporary setbacks. We must remain vigilant and continue to fight for the values that we believe in."
This quote was spoken by Na'Abba in the wake of the impeachment of President Olusegun Obasanjo in 2003. It shows his determination to defend democracy even in the face of challenges.

"The Nigerian people deserve better than they are getting. They deserve a government that is transparent, accountable, and responsive to their needs."

This quote is a call for good governance and reflects Na'Abba's commitment to improving the lives of ordinary Nigerians.

"We must not allow our differences to divide us. We must come together as a nation and build a better future for all Nigerians."
This quote is a plea for unity and reflects Na'Abba's belief that Nigerians must work together to overcome their challenges.

"I believe that the future of Nigeria is bright. We have a young and vibrant population, and we are rich in natural resources. If we can harness our potential, we can build a great nation." This quote expresses Na'Abba's optimism about the future of Nigeria.

These are just a few of Ghali Umar Na'Abba's most famous quotes.

During his time, he was a complex and controversial figure, but there is no doubt that he was a significant figure in Nigerian history.
His quotes will continue to inspire and challenge Nigerians.


RIP Sir

Good Afternoon Omoluabi.

Going through ur post got me laughing really loud and i will tell u y in my response to the folowing

Newborn27:
We did went our separate ways.,...so far...it gave room for self-reflection and analyzing the past present and future.....my greatest nightmare while growing up was single parenting....I detest it with everyone in me[b][/b]... reason why I patiently endured all the abuses until it was becoming too toxic ... sending my kids and I out at night... hitting and verbal abuses....

My dear, gone are the days were women were ready to die to make a relationship or a marriage work. If the relationship is toxic and not working, its better to abandon and embrace what will work in one's life to make life better off.

A relationship with anyone is to add to ur life and once the relationship is not beneficial in a any form, which includes improving your mental health, social well being and ur person in general etc. It isn't worth it. kolework

I have in my social circle women that against all odds walked out of toxic marriages. They have kids, one of them a very very good friend. Her husband is well known to me but he is not my friend, possibly just an acquaintance.
We had spent some time together at various times in the past. 

They separated while was pregnant with her third child. The man left her homeless and  without a job and two kids. I don't like remembering those dark years.
She had practically called me to tell me that she wanted to terminate that pregnancy because of what she was going through.
Did she love the man? Yes she did after all that was why she married him.The lady did most of the work in the home from income generation to household duties. The man just lazied around, hung out with his friends in the evening to smoke and drink.

Just like any man in that sphere, he womanized heavily. Yet her woman didn't really mind but prayerfully hoped he would change.
But when it gets to the point that he would beat her in their compound just because he has been found out that he's sleeping with a neighbor.
It tells you how bad it got.

Well, my friend has been separated for 4 yrs, in this four yrs she's been able to build her life back, doing well as a businesswoman, will complete her master degree in Law this month and recently got a good job in an oil and gas firm.Her three children are doing well.
She's not in any romantic relationship at the moment.

Incidentally the man wants to come back into her life to make her life more miserable than he left it. Because he perceives money and good life

Y am I telling you this is for u to properly assess if ur relationship with ur man is worth given a try again.
If the relationship will NOT make u a better woman.
Honestly Forget it!

Newborn27:
Despite all that I've been through...I realized that I couldn't let go of what I had for him....I tried as much as possible to resent him for all the abuses... several men sprung up to take his place...I couldn't just see myself opening up for any ....it beats me how annoying it is not to move on despite being the victim .....it ripped my heart seeing my kids ask about him....I fought several depression battles....I wish I could just let go of the past...move on and forget everything that has to do with him....I still shoulder my kids and I's responsibilities yet still harboring his thoughts...my sister is sick of my stupidity...some friends and family members thought I'm being enchanted....

I am beginning to think so too. However, it happens like that sometimes. This trash we call love can make one so stupid. You really need to pull urself back together.
This is important. Don't make urself a tool to be used. Ur man is a N/lander and will read this.
So many things will go over his mind.
As a result, you could be making urself very vulnerable especially if he doesn't give a hoot about u and how u feel.

If he still loves you and still wants to share his life with you, good.

But if he doesn't babe, there is no point MOVE ON and Forget HIM. 

U will be very crazy to attract his sympathy through this post and get served HOT LUNCH on a sunny day after all u been served breakfast already.

Newborn27:
Though we're not rich...but my kids and I have been doing fine without his presence..we live within our means.... it's just crazy how I desire we live together as a family.

Must it be with HIM?

Newborn27:
We're approaching a new year...and the thoughts of RESTITUTION kept springing up in my heart... it's crazy ..I never discussed it with anyone even my trusted mentor...I believe I can do it...we both have our shortcomings and flaws...I just wish we could work around those imperfections...we separated after 10yrs...I believe we can do better if we uniformly work on our differences....I don't see myself going into another relationship now or in the future.....I don't want to get entrapped into single parenting....I don't want to live in regrets ..I just want to be a happy wife...mother and companion which I believe is doable.

Ask your heart again what restitution u should be making is all about. Don't let your emotions fool you again. Afterall it led you to where you are today. 
Look at areas in your life you should develop in the coming year, this makes more sense to me than craving for a guy that may not even be thinking about you.

Newborn27:
For the people whom already knew my story on here ..... please advise me...is this RESTITUTION worth it? Despite the hurt...the abuses and disappointments....I still love him... insults are allowed as usual....I just don't want to be making more mistakes to correct the former.

Reframe your mind. Reframe your mind. Men can be scums too

U are obviously making bigger mistakes telling him u still love him openly despite everything he's done to u.
U are simply saying hey guy, kill me if u like i won't stop loving u but i am sure in ur dying moments u will hate the day u met him.Don't wait till then, use ur head, but if he reaches out for reconciliation u can consider of course after weighing so many factors but if he doesn't my dear, move on.

In conclusion, we have had to let go of many valuable things in our lives which includes people at certain points whether it was convenient for us or not and we didn't die but got much more valuable things, built better relationships and became even better.

New and better things only happened to us because we let those old things go.

PeeboyDmx:
I have a friend, she is kind, she is very caring, emphasis on caring
Honestly, I feel like the heart is the most important thing in a human being, and I see her as someone who possesses a big heart
although she is very young by age
she has been the one doing the toasting for a while now and I am kinda going with the flow.

Now the only issue I have is her body size, she is a really fat person
I am not good at body shaming people, because I wouldn't want anyone to do the same to me, but sincerely I don't think I can keep up with her body size.

My reason for bringing this here is that, I feel like I am losing something really precious and valuable all because I am more focused on the outward appearance, secondly I feel like there won't be any intimacy between us even if we start dating because I am not sexually attracted to her.

I am scared that I would look back and regret, but I think I would rather let her go than to hurt her in the future


Please your advices are needed

There’s a big red flag.

If u are not sexually attracted to her, there’s no need going into a relationship that will lead to marriage with her.


The reason is not far fetched as both of u will definitely cheat on each other.

astonished:
Stop deceiving yourself, it's not any cheaper and not even comparable, this is nurture that some of you use to console yourself.

You will never enjoy sex life if you depends on hookup, you think hookup is cheap? May be to millionaire and billionaire who have good business or company running, not definitely salary earner even if you work in Sheveron or MTN, or small business owners.

It's not necessary you date an eye open jobless slay queen with ashawo vibe, we have more women than men in this country, so still plenty of them with different mentality.

Hookup will drain you financially and you will regret your life, after addiction, can you imagine, konji is natural and to ease yourself from the konji you need to check your bank account and part away with 10K or more depending on the hookup level. And three days after Konji catch you again.

Some of you don't want to accept the reality that women to always as sexual urge "konji" but they have to endure it, if you are truly in relationships you will know there's nothing like paying your girlfriend for sex, because she demand for it most time, they are human too

Oga make una dey try read and understand well. My post didn’t encourage sleeping with hookup girls but rather put in a simple sentence all what the op wrote in his original post

I get wife and even when I was a single I didn’t do hookup so I don’t know the cost implication of sleeping with hookup girls.

Unfortunately, many of the readers won’t understand what op was trying to say.

All he said In a simple sentence is instead of going into long relationships because of sex, having it with hook ups is far cheaper and saves time.

@ op

No blame games, the die is cast, and finding a solution is the only thing that matters.

It's very complicated having two women pregnant for you at the same time, but there's always a way out.

To answer your question:

You wanted her to be pregnant for you, that's why you put her in the family way, so there's no mistake with her conception.

Your side chick wants to keep the pregnancy.

You have it in mind to raise children through your side chick.

It's very clear that your actions were deliberate, and you should have properly thought about
the consequences before venturing into it. Your analysis of the situation prior to these complications can still work.
All you need to do now is to incorporate your wife's pregnancy into your scheme of things.

Here's where I am going:

No ABORTION

Tell your wife about the development; it's better she knows now than later.
You will just find a suitable time to make her cry.

It's most likely you have made plans to cater for your side chick once she becomes pregnant.
Let your wife know what plans you have made. Just make sure those plans won't affect your wife directly.

Finally, I will advise that you also discuss with a trusted mature family member as it
may also have cultural or religious implications as the case may be.

God help you, Sir.

Teetee777:
Adin is different from black seed I. Go to anywhere they are selling Islamic materials or Friday mosque, you can get it there. It is very available here in the north. It is a product from Algeria, Egypt etc


Yes, Oral intake, 2spoon

Many thanks, deeply appreciated. I will check them out

Teetee777:
No cause of alarm, just go and buy
1. black seed oil
2. olive oil
3. garlic oil
mix all together same quantity.
1 use it to rub the place
2. Tale 2 spoon morning and night.

Many thanks for ur submission

Black seed oil that Yorubas call adin dudu right?

U mean oral intake too?

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ahnie:
Not low cut....skin shaved more like kodo(bololo) or gorimakpap

If u read my earlier post, I said she shaved her head.
Just that now, hair is beginning to grow again.

She will shave again as it stands.

But honestly I am bothered too

Timoleon:
You should have used pictures of her hair/head.



She remove all hair on her head and start from skin.

There’s nothing to see on her scalp at the moment except for bruises from the relaxer, comb and the things she’s administered on her scalp

ahnie:
Tell her to barb skin cut....then monitor it from there.

I don't know if kerosene is a good alternative.

She’s shaved her hair about three weeks ago, to properly attend to it but same thing.
And as I write her hair is low

I'm seeking some assistance from those who have experience with dealing with hair lice infestations that seem to persist despite various treatments.

A close friend of mine contracted lice from her salon last month and has been trying various remedies, but the problem continues to worsen.

Initially, she tried retouching her hair, followed by using camphor and cacatin.
Unfortunately, the itching and biting sensation persisted, and she had to resort to scraping her hair at one point.
Even after switching to camphor and kerosene, the issue persists, and she has used different products like dematol, zhens, relaxer, and aloe vera on her bald head, but nothing seems to be working.

Her pharmacist and salonist have also run out of ideas to help her. The situation is becoming unbearable for her as she spends most of her time dealing with these creepy sensations and bites, constantly applying different products and using combs and brushes to remove whatever might be there. The problem doesn't seem to be improving; in fact, it appears to be getting worse.

As a result, she's starting to consider the possibility that this might be a spiritual issue, as she cannot find peace and can't even go out without being disturbed by these infestations.

If anyone has encountered a similar situation, especially a long-term hair lice infestation, and has found a practical and effective solution, we would greatly appreciate it if you could share your experience.

Your advice could be immensely helpful in bringing some relief to her.

Thank you in advance for any assistance you can provide.

Disclaimer, The picture below is not her head.

It's most likely a scam even for the fact that jumiapay is not among the payment options there, na to run.

Jaybee3456:
So i and my wife today we were coming back from church the way we always do and our(my) car broke down. Guess what this woman did next? she called uber to come pick her and left me here by myself. Imagine ooo, I'm thinking of many things i can do to teach her a lesson. Any ideas? (Please only married people)

This is very funny if it is true. If this ever happens to me, then it's very likely she will not ride in that car for a very long time or not at all. Honestly!
I am in that school of thought that if u don't support or exercise patience for a course, u no go enjoy the fruit it bears.

I perceive greed at play from the federation.

Tokumbo Ajayi"s demise is the one that hurts me more.
Great times way back with these presenters

Adeshi:
At first i thought it was stress, but yesterday, i was home throughout and it happened again. This is like the 4th time this year. I'm really concerned and i do not mind any advice as to what could cure the problem. I called a friend of mine this morning to request to see a urologist, he said i might have to wait 2-3 months to see one.

I do not want to wait another 2 months, my marriage is just 2years and my wife is starting to worry too.

A 34 years old married man still betwets. I need help please.

It sounds like u're going through a tough time right now.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing difficulty with bladder control
Bed wetting, also known as nocturnal enuresis, it can be a distressing issue for adults.

It's important to seek medical attention asap and an appointment made to see an urologist.
While waiting to see an urologist, there are a few steps you can take to manage the condition:

1.Talk to ur partner: Let ur wife know what's going on and that you're doing everything you can to manage the issue.
This can help ease her worries and keep the lines of communication open.

2. Maintain a consistent bathroom routine:
Ensure to empty ur bladder before going to bed and limit fluids intake a few hours before bedtime.

3. Use absorbent products:
u will need to start wearing absorbent underwear or using bed pads to protect ur mattress and bed sheets.

4. Monitor your diet: Avoid consuming caffeine, alcohol, and large amounts of fluids, especially before bedtime,
as they can increase urine production within ur body.

5. Practice bladder training exercises: Strengthening ur bladder by gradually increasing the time between bathroom visits during the day can help train ur bladder to hold urine for longer periods.

6. Try moisture alarms: These devices can help wake u up when you start to urinate, allowing you to get up and use the bathroom.
Over time, this can help condition ur body to recognize the sensation of a full bladder during sleep.

7. Kegel exercises: Strengthening your pelvic muscles can help control the flow of urine. Kegel exercises can be done at home and are shown to be effective in reducing the symptoms of incontinence.

While u wait for your appointment with a urologist, it won't be out of place to consult with a primary care physician or a specialist in internal medicine or family medicine. He/she will evaluate your symptoms and provide guidance or recommend alternative treatments.

Additionally, you can reach out to other urologists or healthcare providers in ur area to see if there are any earlier appointments available. Sometimes cancellations or other scheduling changes can create openings for earlier consultations.

I wish u all the best sir

[quote author=lavylilly post=124076591][/quote]Yes I will over and over again. She’s one of a kind compared to the type of ladies wey dey outside now. Honestly, what is obtainable now can’t stand a chance to replace her.

Breakups can certainly be painful, but there are other experiences that can also cause significant emotional pain.

Some examples might include the loss of a loved one, betrayal by a trusted friend or family member, or experiencing trauma or abuse.

The depth of emotional pain that someone feels after a breakup can vary depending on the individual and their personal circumstances.

Purvan:
Still in uni with at least 2 years to go (computer engineering)
I don't have friends, only son
Still a virgin
Still lives with parents
Dealing with massive trauma, both school and childhood.
I am very close to kms, thinking about it 10 times a day, each day feels like hell to me

I'm sorry u're going through such a difficult time.
However, It's important to seek help immediately if u're experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideation.

U can reach out to a helpline or a mental health professional for support. This u can easily find in ur university.

Turning your life around may involve taking small steps towards improving your mental health and well-being.

I can provide some suggestions:

- Seek therapy or counseling to address the trauma u have experienced. This can help u process ur experiences and develop coping skills.

- Focus on ur studies and try to make the most of ur time at university. Consider joining a club or group related to ur interests to meet new people and build connections.

- Consider reaching out to old friends or family members to reconnect with them.

- If you're interested in starting a romantic relationship, try dating apps or joining social activities to meet new people.

- You can also consider moving out of ur parents' house if u feel like it's holding u back.
Look into renting a room or finding a roommate to share an apartment with.

- Start or improve ur relationship with Jesus. I can’t emphasize the kind of relative peace u’ll will experience. The relationship can be enhanced by studying and meditating on His Word and of course attend a Bible believing Church. And forget to PRAY

Friend, kindly remember that life is full of ups and downs, and it's okay to ask for help when u're struggling.

It takes time and effort to make changes, but taking small steps towards improving ur well-being can make a big difference in ur life in the long run.

All the best

Olx no longer operates in Nigeria. Kindly update your records.
You can replace that with jiji and wakanow

Life!
Rest In piece Sir, u have made ur mark.

Any source to verify?

Things like this still happens and will continue to happen until married men
get some sense.

Bunch of clowns.
Just imagine the joke.
Everyone now is looking for a reason to get attention.
The world is now turning into entertainment where we they people are fast becoming entertainers.

Tpave:
Is it ideal for your wife to insist she knows your password as a husband because she wants to be checking your phone anytime she wishes?

A house wife read on the Internet how a married woman kept another lady outside for 7 years without the wife knowing and he also did not tell the lady he was married.

Some wives on the comment section threatened that they must start checking their husbands phone and he must give them the password.

Very inappropriate behavior. The moment a woman start monitoring her husband’s phone, the marriage is fast heading for the rocks simply because it is a trust less marriage.

Men should also stop checking their wives phones every now and then.

It’s not surprising because millions of football followers are fans of Messi. Any club Messi goes they follow likewise any club Messi leave they unfollow.

Thank ur stars u were not killed. Many of them behave like illiterates just in the name of extortion.

A word of advice, night crawling is a means of looking for police attention.

See this too.

Let’s be properly guided

EBMedia:
https://igberetvnews.com/1440827/nurse-slumps-dies-duty-zamfara-hospital-photo/

Hale and Hearty in the morning and by evening in the grave.
Life is vanity and simply unpredictable.
Rest in peace sister.