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 Romance › Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Selective Listeners? I Can't Believe This: by InkedNerd(f): 2:12am On Jan 07, 2012 |
MarcAnthon:Man caves are silly [no vex o!]but I agree that with what you said about people needing their space. I used to laugh at girls who who used to pester their boyfriends and expect to be with them 24/7. Regardless of a relationship, people as a whole need space at times. I used like a guy who for whatever reason reason thought I should be with him and call him constantly. Chei, the whole thing just perplexed me. Eventually at some point in time, I just said "Fück it! No wonder all your previous girlfriends left you." |
| Romance › Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Selective Listeners? I Can't Believe This: by InkedNerd(f): 1:53am On Jan 07, 2012 |
MarcAnthon:Can't have your cake and eat it too  |
| Romance › Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Selective Listeners? I Can't Believe This: by InkedNerd(f): 1:45am On Jan 07, 2012 |
MarcAnthon:Oh really? Well if I undressed in front of a dude while he was watching sports and presented my goodies to him and asked him to choose between sports and a "good time", which one do you think he'll chose  It's ok though. I can always let a guy have his own time. I can even join as well. Not a big deal for me  |
| Romance › Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Selective Listeners? I Can't Believe This: by InkedNerd(f): 1:11am On Jan 07, 2012 |
MsDarkSkin:lol you saying that reminds me of when a women will be talking to her boyfriend, husband, whatever you wanna call them, and they totally tune them out. When I was at my friends boyfriend's house a few weeks ago, my friend was talking to her boyfriend and I was in the kitchen watching the scenario about to unfold. . . So basically, my friend was talking to her boyfriend and he was talking back but the moment he changed the channel to ESPN, the man went deaf. I was crackin' up and shakin' my head the whole time. |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: How Did Your Day Go? by InkedNerd(f): 12:56am On Jan 07, 2012 |
Flashaldrin:Yeah. Why are you surprised? Its a music class that focuses mainly on jazz and so when the subject of Afro-Cuban jazz was being discussed, I immediately jumped up because I love jazz, especially jazz that deals with non-Americans |
| Romance › Re: 9ja Women Always Faking! by InkedNerd(f): 12:46am On Jan 07, 2012 |
Beync:lol, because the OP who wrote this loves demonstrating that he has no brain. babsjnr:Lfmao, clearly you have me mistaken for that creature that pushed you out of that thing she called a väginä. If you have a problem with my comment just say that, you didn't need to demonstrate to all of Nairaland how much a village goat you could be. It's ok, I don't blame you. I blame the inbred environment you crawled out from. Smh, even the way you write demonstrates the lack of education you have. Don't worry my dear, its never too late to educate yourself. You could learn a thing or two from Kimani Nganga Maruge. If you wanna argue with me, square up. Don't sit here and talk all this sort of nonsense as a means of trying to show that you've trekked all the way from your remote village just so you can use a computer for the first time. [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=839545.msg9910923#msg9910923 date=1325889776]EPITOME OF A LAME ARSE JIGGABOO.[/quote]Jiggaboo is an understatement. Coon is a more befitting word |
| Romance › Re: What Is The Cure To A Broken Heart? by InkedNerd(f): 12:36am On Jan 07, 2012 |
@OP: Sadly, there is no cure. It's just something you must deal with |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 12:35am On Jan 07, 2012 |
[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=838273.msg9910307#msg9910307 date=1325882703]@Inky Slow down. I'm not putting words in your mouth ok. I never said you said anything ok so keep your hair on. My question was who bosom feeds a new born? Here's another on average who is physical stronger, male or female? Or who takes more risk daily? These are simply pointers to our nature the more closely we allow our roles to match those paths the more harmony there'll be. A follower submits to a leader's direction that's the way it ought to be in a home. Don't be quick to equate follower to inferior. It is not. Rather a follower[/quote]Ok seriously, what is up with you guys on Nairaland always telling me to "chill" or "calm down" when I say something?!?! Sheesh  As for you saying that I said you put words in my mouth, I am sorry in that aspect. I misspoke. . . Or in this case, mistyped. With that being said, I will go on to answer your question(s). You asked, who's brëäst feed a new born to which I will reply, a woman's brëäst feeds a new born. As for the next question you asked as to who takes more risks, despite what you may believe within the social perspective, studies have shown that women take more risks than men. Now after having answered your questions, I would like to know how in the world is your "explanation" a reason for a woman to be submissive to a man but not a man submitting to a woman any reason why this for whatever reason makes sense to you? I never equated following with inferiority and to be quite honest, that is a notion that you seem to posses since based on your previous comments you clearly said that a woman who is looking for a submissive man is up to no good. I should then go on to believe that since you claim that such a woman is up to no good there must be some sense of subordination on the part of the man which would then be inferiority which you claim is not the same as following. If it is not the same as following why is there such a issue with a woman doing what you keep saying isn't an issue? It's ok for a woman to be a sheep but not the other way around. Such ideas exist because people like you insist on perpetuating them. ronkebp:Smh, do people go online these days without possessing the ability to comprehend information properly? Did you not see read the parts about how he treated her? Even if "we" women need to pick our battles, is that still any reason for ho,m to have spoken and treated her in such a manner? Women like you enable abuse like that to continue all because you choose not to take proper action. Do you need to wait till a more "serious" matter to occur for her to know that the guy is a piece of crap? ronkebp:Have to learn to multitask? Is this a partnership or is it that you expect her to be wiping his äss while taking care of everything else? Its stupidity like this that fuels abuse. Your the type of woman that will see abuse and turn the other way. "We" women my äss! Gimme a break!! ThiefOfHearts:Don't mind her nonsense. |
| Romance › Re: Why? by InkedNerd(f): 9:35pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
@OP: How about you tell some of your yeye brothers to stop going around whispering sweet nothings in women's ears and actually own up to their actions then perhaps women wouldn't be so defensive on such matters. |
| Romance › Re: 9ja Women Always Faking! by InkedNerd(f): 9:30pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
babsjnr:Ok, and what's your point? You bagged some white woman? Big deal! It still doesn't change the fact that you don't know what you're saying. You being with some white woman doesn't change the fact that your comment was based on nothing but pure ignorance. [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=839545.msg9910086#msg9910086 date=1325880335]It is interesting to see black men with "gorgeous blue eyed and blonde hair chicks" and COME ONLINE BASHING black women. Hmm. Who is driving Miss Daisy?  [/quote]Driving Miss Daisy my äss. He's carrying her on his damn back! |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 9:28pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=838273.msg9910155#msg9910155 date=1325881112]@Inky Now you are becoming hysterical. I specifically pointed out that a woman who seeks a submissive man is up to no good and you translate that to all women are evil. Please calm down don't get into a tizzy aight?! Now again let me reiterate the maternal instincts are primarily defensive, protective if you will, implying that the female is supposed to stay back, hang around the homestead. That kind of position does not give much room for aggressive seeking which is the males primary role. All these are very clear, we know it but our so called modernity plays us up sometimes and we want to deny it. But I tell you if you seek harmony with your mate you will each other fulfill their respective roles. BTW you didn't answer my question [/quote]No, I'm not being hysterical. Just as you pointed out that there are women who seek out submissive men, there are men who do the same which I mentioned. If implying that a woman's "role" is to stay back, hang around the homestead then go ahead an imply that but those are not words that have or will ever come from me. Since you there claims that a woman's maternal instincts are primarily defensive/protective, then why on Earth would aggression not come into play? If it there is a situation where a woman must defend her child [whether this involves a physical altercation or not] even if it means giving up her life in that process is that not aggression. It seems that your idea of a woman being protective and defensive is one of a passive nature. It has nothing to do with "modernity" trying to play us up. It's more of a preference. For thousands of years, there have been societies where women were the ones who were both protecting and "hunting"/being the bread winner. And which question is it that you claim I didn't answer? |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 8:54pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=838273.msg9909915#msg9909915 date=1325878246]@Inky I did not stretch the story in any way. Please don't misquote me cos I never said the man was away fending for his family in that story. Re-read my post please. Now as for justifying the woman submissive role I brought you that picture because it adequately depicts the maternal instinct which is meant for the defense of the homestead. The man who is Leader directs how this is done so the "directee" submits to the director's leading. This is how harmony exists one leads the other submits. It is not a degrading of the woman, it is not an aggrandisement of the man. It simple natural logic something you practice in your offices and businesses everyday.[/quote]Regardless of whether or not you were trying to show the maternal instinct as a means of defense of the homestead, ANY loving and dedicated parent will would do what she did. It has nothing to do with just being a mother. There is nothing natural or logical about the way you're explaining this matter because in all, all you've done is imply is that women are evil or in your words "up to no good because she wants a man she can manipulate at any time for her own ends." if they seek to take on the same role you claim that a man would have which is highly hypocritical. So yes, overall it is DEGRADING to women to even utter those words. It's degrading to all women regardless of their background!! Repubocrat:Highly agreed!! I don't understand why people always want to use their religious beliefs as a means of justifying such things. [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=838273.msg9909954#msg9909954 date=1325878672]I have mentors that are heavily into the Word and often time I debate with them. I am not religious but I am not atheist. And it is sad that those who are "religious" doesn't even know the Bible they claimed to worship. SMH. I was going to go deeper but didn't want to chase the demons away.  You raised an interesting point, they commands submissive woman but WON'T DIE FOR HER. WTF. I also want to add that submissive doesn't mean to yield to everything that is good AND bad. Use common sense Ladies, if the man that you are submitting is beating you or abusing your children, use your brain and un-submit! If you have a good man and doesn't have an issue with submitting him and it WORKS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, GREAT! But, do not feel that in order to keep a man that you must REMAIN HIS SLAVE, no! You deserve to be HIS QUEEN and if he can't treat you like a QUEEN then he is not YOUR KING.[/quote]Well said big sista Chima |
| Romance › Re: 9ja Women Always Faking! by InkedNerd(f): 8:36pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
babsjnr:Clearly, you're one of those people who don't know what they're talking about. For all we know, you've probably never even seen any of those women in person for you to be making such an ill conceived comment. |
| Romance › Re: Why Is It That Women Are So Naive And Despirate by InkedNerd(f): 8:23pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
kokoye:With all the female bashing on this site, this is the one thing that upset you about someone talking about Nigerian men? |
| Romance › Re: Having A Baby For A Married Man by InkedNerd(f): 8:17pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
Russialane:Ok, and my response was just a SIMPLE question. [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=840406.msg9909668#msg9909668 date=1325875900]Inkie Since we are talking about single parenting, do you think even though the father isn't in the girl's life that he is still a single father? I know that he is married to another woman but since he is a father of another child by another woman that isn't his wife could he be considered a single father out of wedlock? I know it could be mind-bending but I just had to get philosophical for a minute.[/quote]No, I don't think he can be considered a single father. --an absent father yes, but not a single father. Him being an absent father could be in two forms though. He could be a father who is there financially but is not there physically or he could be an absent father who is neither there financially or physically. Since he is not the one who is taking care of this child primarily [if at all], I cannot [and will not] consider him a single father. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 8:08pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
3ndy:My sister, I know it was hard but it is for the best. Please take heart my dear. I know it may seem hard now but you will see that this isn't the end. I know i cannot predict the future but with time hopefully you will meet someone who who will love and respect you. Clearly this man wasn't the one for you. Now that you have ended this, it would be a good opportunity for you reflect and do some soul searching. I wish you the best of luck. If you ever need any help or someone to talk to, remember that there is always a community of women [and men] here who care about you [quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=838273.msg9909683#msg9909683 date=1325876005]@ThiefofHearts Sorry to disappoint you. @Mrs.C Here comes the logic. Men and Women are different and have different roles. A submissive man (which implies both attitude and action) is a negation of his role as Husband and Leader. I am not saying he is to be bull headed and not listen to the wife but here is the difference between a submissive man and a humble man. A humble man realises that he is endowed with power to provide and protect so he bends it all to serve his wife and children while a submissive man thinks he has no power and acts like it. @Inky You are excused. Elaborating further on the difference between Men and Women. Women natural fit the submissive role because they build mostly for defense while men are build for offense. I just saw a video of a young mother (real life story) who killed an intruder who had broken into her home, her reason - she had a lil baby. Motherly instincts are the best defensive instincts in the world both in man and animal. The female is supposed to protect the nest while the male goes a-hunting. Before you go telling me about today's world lemme ask you this: when a baby is born who does the bosom feeding?[/quote]How do women "naturally" fit the submissive role? Mother insists isn't an explanation for a woman to be submissive. I know the story you're talking about--I have seen it all over the news. You stretching that story to such an extent to justify your belief is no reason for a woman to be submissive. Who told you that there was no man in that house because he went out to be the bread winner or in your words went "hunting"? Did it ever occur to you that there wasn't a man there to begin with? Any loving and dedicated parent regardless of gender would have done what she did. ThiefOfHearts:Thank you for pointing that out. I don't even know how or why that would even be used as a reason to justify such an explanation. [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=838273.msg9909753#msg9909753 date=1325876534]So why would a man wants a submissive woman who has no power and acts like she does? So in order for men to feel like they are in control they seek a powerless woman who knows nothing and incapable of doing nothing. That's an insult to "powerful" men. Men should be able to achieve any challenges that comes their way and not NaughtyWoman about being self defeatist. (not saying you per se)[/quote]Ask am/tell am!! [quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=838273.msg9909759#msg9909759 date=1325876601]@Inky On the issue of a woman being up to no good, I stand to be corrected but a woman only seeks a man she can brow beat because she has ulterior motives. A man's place is at the front of his family taking bold strides for a woman to seek a negation of this speaks volumes about her motives very clearly.[/quote]So explain yourself on the issue of the reversed role of a man seeking a submissive woman because so far you haven't made any sense in any of your explanations. So far, all you are doing is indirectly saying is that unless I as a woman submit to a man, that I am evil and up to no good. You speak as though for there to ever be some sort of structure in this world, that a man must be in control. If you take a good look around you, you will notice that a lot of the world leaders in our society are men, yet there is still a lot of instability and havoc within the world we inhabit. |
| Romance › Re: Having A Baby For A Married Man by InkedNerd(f): 7:44pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=840406.msg9909575#msg9909575 date=1325874972]Question: Is it okay for a wife to ask her husband to wear condoms all the time?[/quote]Well if neither of them are looking to have kids or want to have surgical procedures to prevent them from producing children then they'd better put a cap on it. And sadly, people can be very unfaithful these days so its not a bad idea to keep wearing condoms. I read somewhere on an African website of a woman wanting to ask her husband to wear a condom since she had prior knowledge of his infidelity [even though the husband didn't know she knew]. When she asked him, the husband beat the woman senseless even though he was the one who was tainting the marriage with his affairs. In the end, the woman said that she had no choice but to continue Being Intimate with her husband even though she knew there was a strong chance of her getting an STD or and STI. Russialane:Just wondering, since you're talking about her like she's property if this situation involved a single father would you still be sitting here saying that the person is now "devalued"? |
| Romance › Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Selective Listeners? I Can't Believe This: by InkedNerd(f): 7:32pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
@OP: What he said has nothing to do with selective listening. Most human beings have selective hearing. It's not something that is native to only Nigerian guys. Sitting here and saying that it is something that our Nigerian brothers possess just because you didn't get money out of some guy is no reason to make such a general statement. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Having A Baby For A Married Man by InkedNerd(f): 7:21pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
@OP: Since you say she didn't know and now has a baby, all I can say is that she stay away from him and make sure that he takes care of his financial responsibilities as a father. ebonyvibe:If she is finding it hard to love thing child then I would suggest two things--she can either suck it up and just care for this child or give the child up for adoption. If she chooses to keep this child, she needs to understand that this child came into existence through no fault of his/her own. What the mother and father did isn't something that the child must pay for. If she was old enough and mature enough to get into a relationship with this man then she should have the same maturity to care for this child. If she really can't put aside her personal grievances to care for this child then she needs to put this child up for adoption. |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: How Did Your Day Go? by InkedNerd(f): 7:11pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
Flashaldrin:lol, I should have never told him that I knew things on Afro-Cuban jazz and biracial Russians. That's what started the whole question thing. When no one wants to answer questions, he automatically assumes I know it. Luckily for me, sleeping in that class has only happened one time. I'll try not to fall asleep again in the class. |
| Romance › Re: 9ja Women Always Faking! by InkedNerd(f): 6:59pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
honeric01:There is nothing weak or lame in the responses by those who have questioned him. What is lame is you attempt to justify his idiotic question but then again, I'm not surprised when I see some men here justifying the stupidity of their countrymen. No, he did not compare Nigerian girls to other women but he specifically stated "Nigerian girls", almost as though he is underhandedly implying that these are things that are found solely among Nigerian girls. If he didn't want other Nairalanders to question and infer things about his statement then he should have done two things--he should have clarified his statement or added more information to give some insight to it. He did neither or those things so if you disliked the replies you've seen on this thread you only have the OP to blame for this, not the Nairalanders who are replying. With that being said, you went onto say that this thread has taken on a wayward route which I disagree with. It is still within the confines on the subject matter. Like I said to Freiburger when he attempted to call Goldieluks racist for her statements, although the OP mentioned a nationality, we are all aware that the general racial make up of Nigeria is black. With that being said, her argument is highly valid. Her response was in reference to the fact that he specifically named Nigerian girls [excluding other ethnicities/expats who obtain Nigerian citizenship]!!! His ill conceived argument is based on the fact that these black girls in Nigeria are fake because of the reasons he named which include, their hair, nails, make up, etc. to which Goldieluks responds by pointing out to him that the things he seems to love complaining about are not things that are found solely among Nigerian women. She then goes on to point out that white women [just like the black Nigerian women that bin gbagbo is condemning] also get procedures that give them a "fake" appearance as well. These things include but are not limited to, fake hair extensions, brëast augmentation, fake eyelashes, fake nails, botox injection, etc. As a whole, both men and women possess levels of inferiority. It's not just something that women posses. I can name a slew of inferiority's that men posses as well. Inferiority of various forms is something that sees no color, gender, or class so bear that in mind before you go around saying that we women posses an inferiority complex. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 6:35pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
MarcAnthon:Eh ya, she means no harm. She's joking Ozichim:Are you fücking serious? So you're still a card carrying member of the "wait till her she's in a body bag club"?!?!? Either you are really stupid are you are insensitive to the plight of this woman. How on Earth can you sit her and say that because of those sentences she uttered that what she said wasn't ok on her part? Since when did "Honey please could you handle this?" and "Well, I am obviously busy" become to much when someone is clearly preoccupied? She is the one cooking. She is the one preparing the food. She is the one doing the work. Did she ask him to cook the food? Did she ask him to set the table? Did she ask him to serve everyone who was going to eat? NO!!! All she asked was for him to assist her for a moment--not for an hour, not for two hours, not for three hours. Just a few short moment!!! But no, the man couldn't even do that. Does he think it's beneath him to help the woman he's with? My own mother, even when she cooks and is preoccupied she asked my father to help her if she needs the help, and even when my father is tired, he will still come over and help my mother and insist on asking her if there is anything else she needs help with. Mind you, even in a tired state he will help my mother, no questions asked. Now tell me, what kind of man has a hissy fit over something as small as helping the woman who is preparing your food? It's people like you making excuses for his idiotic behavior that enable this kind of nonsense to persist within our culture. affigurl5:Just out of curiosity, you say a submissive man cannot be taken seriously but what about a submissive woman? Is it ok for a woman to be submissive but not a man? [quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=838273.msg9907951#msg9907951 date=1325862163]@Topic Submissive man is an unfortunate pairing. Leaders(which is what men are meant to be take it or leave it) may have different styles but submission is not one of them. The only submission required of a man is to God. BTW submission and humility are two different things so to seek for a submissive man while you really intended to go for a humble man is to miss the mark. A woman who seeks a submissive man is up to no good because she wants a man she can manipulate at any time for her own ends. @inky I love the passion in your reply to 3ndy, if only it was transferable - 3ndy needs a lil spine. @eatme Somehow I sense envy.[/quote]Excuse me?! What is that supposed to mean? While I will agree that submissiveness and humility are two different things, I totally do not agree that a woman who seeks a submissive man is up to no good. Based on what you said, its seems very hypocritical on your part for you to imply that it is ok for a man to be with a submissive woman but in the same breath you say that if a woman were to go down the same route, then she is up to no good. What makes you think a man who seeks a submissive man is up to no good? I have seen men who seek such woman and they weren't any better than the women you claimed where up to no good. Where did this double standard come from in your statement? Apparently, it seems that those two scenarios are not the same thing. [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=838273.msg9908901#msg9908901 date=1325869102]For those who are atheists and non-believers will have an issue with your write-up. There are non-religious couples who are in successful marriages. Successful marriage is contingent to those in personal and individualistic marriages. Each marriage has its own rules and practices. What works for you may not work for the next couple.[/quote]Make you tell am sista Chima. |
| Romance › Re: Men, Watch Out. by InkedNerd(f): 3:23am On Jan 06, 2012 |
@OP: I'm usually reluctant to believe the yeye fairly tales that people tell on Yahoo answers. It reminds me of people who come on Nairaland and open threads just for the sake of drawing in a crowd. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 2:57am On Jan 06, 2012 |
MarcAnthon:I understand what you're saying. Let me just say this though, I have never seen her [ThiefOfHearts] biting at anyone. Clearly those of us who are telling her [3ndy] to dump the yeye man are doing it because we care. So to see 2ndy's replies as they are is a bit disheartening. I truly don't think that ThiefOfHearts is saying those things from a place of malice  |
| Romance › Re: Would You Leave Someone Standing At The Alter? by InkedNerd(f): 2:32am On Jan 06, 2012 |
@OP: If I had some reservations about the relationship, then I would discuss it with the person beforehand rather than wait till the day of the wedding. If there were extenuating circumstances that didn't enable me to discuss it beforehand or if I just happen to find out some startling information the day of the wedding, then I would leave the person there and not look back. |
| Health › Re: The Hippocratic Oath by InkedNerd(f): 2:19am On Jan 06, 2012 |
Personally, I don't believe that most do. I've heard of doctors engaging in very shameful behavior. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, Would You Date/marry A Submissive Man? by InkedNerd(f): 2:05am On Jan 06, 2012 |
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=838273.msg9902271#msg9902271 date=1325785520]LMAO You know some men can't work well with friction!  [/quote]Hahahaha MarcAnthon:As rude and angry as you may think she sounds, I understand where her frustration is coming from |
| Romance › Re: 9ja Women Always Faking! by InkedNerd(f): 2:01am On Jan 06, 2012 |
kokoye:lol I guess so kokoye:Na wa for una [quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=839545.msg9902577#msg9902577 date=1325788231]You got drawers older than me. [/quote]lmao kokoye:What's that supposed to mean? Goldieluks:Get 'em girl! Goldieluks:Don't worry girl, I got your back |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: How Did Your Day Go? by InkedNerd(f): 1:55am On Jan 06, 2012 |
Flashaldrin:No, its not a first but its nice to know that it'll be an easy A+. I won't have to stress myself Flashaldrin:lol, yeah it does because the professor was constantly looking at me when he'd ask questions. |
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