₦airaland Forum

ogugua88:
The affair took place roughly a decade after their marriage. A decade of honest love, according to the information at hand, followed by 60 years of an unfaithful wife. He has every right to leave. If she had an epiphany and decided she was going to be 100% committed to her husband, she would have tossed those letters. Imagine having a spouse who reads love letters from another man or mistress behind your back, years after they were written. That's enough to make someone feel worthless. If the third stringer is still alive, then she should go find him.

As for the children? I wouldn't bother with a paternity test if it was me. Blood doesn't make family. If a test turns out they're not his, he probably wouldn't love them any less as they're innocent in all of this.

Repubocrat:
Ok, I agree. That could happen, but I'm still of the opinion that he should go ahead with the test if he has any suspicion of that sort.

If I were put in a similar circumstance, I would want to know the extent to which I was deceived.

TheBBF:
Na wa oh!! It upsets me when I keep seeing posts like this. Not to be rude but I don't see why anyone would care what anybody else does to their hair and/or the reasons behind it. Its disturbing when I see comments like black women relax because of self hate, and the white woman's influence, but to me that is just not true. Every race changes their hair! White women who were born with bone straight hair get it permed ( the opposite of what we call a relaxer) and white women with extremely course and curly hair straighten their hair. It's called fashion and beauty. For hundreds of years the white woman has been altering her hair, by using wigs, presses, and rollers to change the appearance of her hair. Nobody called it self hate, so why when we do it, its called self hate?

I understand that for the longest time, black women didn't know how to take care of our natural hair, so we started relaxing to make it easier to manage (those who did it for self hate reasons thats there business!). But now black women are becoming more educated about their hair, and they are learning how to manage it in either its natural or relaxed state. I think this amazing because more and more women are learning that taking care of afro-natural hair is not the painful nightmare that we believe. I am relaxed and even I have learned to grow my relaxed hair and take better care of it, and I blog about it to help other learn too. I am now also more educated about natural hair, and I believe I will transition to natural one day. But for right now I am enjoying my longer relaxed hair. Is it because, I want to be like a white woman? Ermmm I really don't think so. I like the look and the ease of it. But I also like the natural look as well.

I mean I try not to take comments like "you relax because of self hatred" personal,but I don't judge other people based on their personal preference or style, so I don't see why others take it upon themselves to judge other people or make assumptions, about random strangers you know nothing about. Its possible that relaxers were invented to make black women more acceptable in white society. But so? that doesn't mean generations later we all still want to be white.

Meddler:
I don't think black women perm/straighten their hair out of self hate. They perm because we are not aware of alternatives. I used to perm but now fully natural for 4 year now. Best decision I made. But before then I really didn't think I had any other option apart from perming. I remember my mom perming my hair and burning it in the process because she wanted the hair well done. I had to wear a cap to school for a week. But the thing is proper education about our hair is seriously lacking. [b]Naija parents especially are clueless about their kids hair. I sit at church every Sunday and see the sad state of our children's hair. Half of these kids are not even up to 4 years old and already have receding hairlines from braiding or fixing (yea I said fixing). I weep for them really. [/b]This is the reality on ground. Few years from now said child wud have been put through the system of relaxing. Pls tell me how she's supposed to know an alternative if that's the only thing she was thought about hair. I'm still learning till today the dos and donts of my hair. I've cut it 3 times in the past year due to bad maintenance. But again going natural is the best thing I did.

Repubocrat:
I am going to have to disagree.    Btw, what's up with the Ageism from some on this thread?

The man is simply sticking to common principles, and I'll add that demanding a paternity test would be a fairly logical subsequent step considering the fact the she kept the secret for so long, and only confessed after she got caught. The results of the test will most likely not alter his relationship with the children, but it could justify his decision to get a divorce if the results are unfavorable.

onila:
cute and chubby

freecocoa:
^
Yeah well,atleast you'll rest for awhile before you do,ehen I'm yet to get my share of the $50 gift o,I gat to turn in now,my eyes are literarily shutting,you'll give me the gift when next I jam you. Tell me sleep tight.

freecocoa:
I thought as much,I know you've given your profs assignment,you an azz kicker,good to see and happy new year in advancement.

freecocoa:
^
Kedu ebe you go since?

Uyi Iredia:
So someone here thinks that Miss Nigeria is beautiful ! Sorry, but I don't think so.