₦airaland Forum

/
What will be will definitely be.

Until Nigeria diversifies away from "one commodity" economy, any meltdown in oil price will make life a living hell for her citizens.

The only good news for now is that oil may be preparing to snap back to the 70-80 region. It seems that the supercycle low ended around $27/barrel.
\

/
Maybe it is me, but expensive cars are pain in the a.ss.

Even your woman will not demand the kind of attention these cars need. From waxing, buffing, maintenance and fluids checks, it takes a special breed of a person to own one of these.
\

/
NLC embarked on strike because gasoline is priced at N145/litre.
There will come a time when they will be begging to buy at N145/ltr if only they could see fuel.
\

/
Fact:

The more you give a fvck about life, the more insecure you become.
\

Endison:
Some years ago, a group of Cows announced Dat they will make Jonathan's government ungovernable. Today, dose cows are in power and the tides have turn...


Dats what I call KARMA.
Let's see the money they will allocate to their proposed North East Development Commission. After killing their own people, they want to sap oyel money to fund it's development!


Cows!!

/
Oil will be back to $80/barrel before December. There will be more money for total annihilation of the irritants in the ND.

If they want justice, they should go after the oil fields owned by the northerners.

Blowing up general pipelines is an act of cowardice. Biting the nose to spite the face does not cure pimples on the face.

\

funnynation:
Good morning Nairaland Nation. As you all know, my name is funnynation. I need advise towards my present challenge am facing with my ex. I met this girl early 2012 and we started as friends because I helped her when she was looking for shop to rent. Around the month of March that same year we started dating and everything started going down well, we share thesame dream by then to end up as husband and wife. At a long we started having issue, she get zero chill (hot temper na her second name). She can pick offence even when you laugh at a wrong time and the most annoying aspect of it that she keep threatening me that she will break up with me. She just believed that I don't have option in life because by then I was doing little job. I even introduced her to my family members and she did thesame.. Around 2014 when both us couldn't hold our head again, we decided to give the relationship a break.

*Fast forwarded to 2016*

She started calling me again that we need to make peace and I have moved on with my life. When she saw my first comedy skit online and she watched my program on TV then she changed her plan, she told me that she have calculated all the money she spent on me and the ones she borrowed me that all the money is #73,000 and I should pay her with immediate effect or I will see the other side of her.

Yesterday she gave sombody phone to talk to me and the man claimed to be a police man started shouting on me that I should pay the money on or before end of the month. The only money that I know she gave me was #15,000 and I wanted paying her but when she said 73k I decided to change my mind. She claimed to spend on me but I know she contributed to my problem last two years because of the way I spend on her. I do buy her cloth on weekly basis, I do buy her mother cloths, I do buy cloths and baby food for her elder sister. I do give her maintenance fee. As she keep threatening me because she believe that entertainment have started paying me big and she want to extort cash from me.

Please should I report to police or should I just wait for her next action or should I back it up with my lawyer? Please good people what will I do because I don't want her case to affect my career because am still coming up in the industry.
*Advice please*



@Nairaland official comedian

/

1. She is not going to do anything. People that issue threats are cowards. The ones that will bite don't have time for threats.

2. Don't talk to a lawyer. You will end up wasting your money.

3. Go to the nearest Central Police Station (not local police station) and get a police report for "threat to life"

4. Take a picture of the police report and send to her, her parents and your parents informing them that she will be liable
for anything that happens to you.

5. She will "chicken" out when she knows that you have big balls especially with Police and both parents involved.

6. I believe in killing a fly with a hammer to make sure that it is dead.

\

/
You can never get rich from MLM. Most of those companies are foreign MLMs marketed as subsidiaries in Nigeria. You may think you are in Level 4 in the pyramid not knowing that you are in sublevel 30 by the time the distribution gets to the parent company. Don't be fooled by the appendages: Director, MD, Associates. You are being hustled. Sooner than later you will hit leads brickwall and be burned out. They are counting on the turnover from gullible fellows.
\

/
Nursing used to be "it" until people started running into it for stable cash flow. There are way too many Nigerias into Nursing abroad. Why? Please don't tell me that Nigerians are compassionate. Please! The compassionate aspect of it has come into qiestion in recent times. A lot of nurses already have their pay days marked on a calendar. But if you come across a humanitarian nurse, you will love the profession.
\

Josphine4good:
I hate men I don't think I will get married to one

/
If you really live in Atlanta, you need to move else where...too many savages in Atlanta. May be that's why.

\

/
The problem of ND area is multi-faceted. The environment is degraded and polluted. It is very sad indeed.

But then each successive government had tried to develop ND area. Now here are the problems:
Government sent in Construction companies into the region, their employees got kidnapped for ransom. They fled.
Government decided to use insiders. A Niger Delta son headed NDDC but ended up embezzling the funds meant for the development of the region. ND folks are more interested in physical cash than any sort of empowerment that will involve them being proactive.
And to top it all, a ND son was the president for 8 years. There was no attempt on his part to use that opportunity to right the wrongs of the past. As sad as it is when cheated, it is worse when the perperator is your own kind. ND had some opportunities in GEJ and they blew it big time. No northerner is going to develop the ND area. Bayelsa is one of the smallest states in Nigeria, gets the most allocation...yet cannot manage her resources. It is more of character flaws than paucity of fund or lack thereof.
\

TheArchangel:
Let's talk about the 100k sir

/
Prove me wrong.

Then let Seun verify your ID

You will get it in 24hrs.
\

/
The toughest job is working for yourself.

That is why most people don't want to do it.

\

/
In other words, wage is chasing inflation.

Some people are being owed five months salaries in arrears with minimum wage at N18k/month. At N45k/month, they will be owed at least 1 year in arrears. A state like Osun will go belly up.
\
.

TheArchangel:
Sir, kindly stick to the cars and engines and the works.
Thank you sir.

/
Tell me what other profession in which in a class of 20 men, 8 of them are gay (by OP's admission). What are the odds? And if such profession is not associated with homosexualism, I will give you N100k.
\

RaeMystix:
I wasn't referring to the so called Nurses/ apprentice you find in the local hospitals, who can't locate the parts of the Human body nor figure out how to carrier a test to detect an unknown organism, even if their lives depended on it. I'm taking about Nurses that have more knowledge than the so called doctors we have in the local hospitals.

/
Just like Panadol, if not a doctor, there is no such thing "like a doctor"

The people that made the curricula are not morons.
\

SlimBrawnie:
In Nigeria, guys are doctors and ladies are nurses... Besides, when growing up, nurses were portrayed using ladies and doctors, guys....we know,but leave am for us like that. You can educate the younger generation on the differences. LoL at Midwife(I just imagined telling someone my husband is a MIDWIFE)

/
He is confused.

He is a MIDHUSBAND.


\

/
The greatest power over a lady is not asking her for sex. It is very empowering. Be nice and courteous but not thirsty.
\

nairalanddotorg:
When I trained there were 100 people in our set, 20 of
which were men, eight of who were gay.

http://www.nursingworldnigeria.com/2013/02/life-as-a-nurse-ndash-the-male-perspective

/
A lot of male nurses are gay.
Some male nurses fall into the category of "condition na im make crayfish bend" (Nigerians).
Type A men do not go into Nursing.
If you eavesdrop on conversation among nurses, one of the first few questions for males is always on how they ended up in Nursing. It sounds like a dumping ground. And the answers to the question is usually a brief CV.

However, Nursing is a non-judgmental profession. It doesn't matter if one is fat, short, tall, beautiful, ugly or whatever attributes one may have, if you are smart and can get the job done...you are in.
\

MadCow1:
You are spot on on the air shocks.

A friend of mine wanted to get this whip last year because another friend had it. He wanted me to source it for him from the U.S but told me to only find him those with the spring suspensions.

/
They don't come with spring suspensions. He has to convert them himself. I think he can get the conversion kit for about $1500 for the four from Arnott or on ebay. The engine and tranny are superb.
\

MadCow1:
Espcially the S-Class which is supposed to the the Creme-de-la creme of Mercs.

/
The S class is the worst. One technology killed it -- the air ride. To fix the damn thing for one tire is about $1500 parts, then add the labour. The dealers will insist that the owner changes both sides at the same time. Now we are talking about $4000 (parts and labour) to fix change shock absorbers. That's why many of them are abandoned in mechanic workshops in Nigeria. All it takes is a run into one pothole in Nigeria and it is over. How many times will it be fixed with all the bad roads in Nigeria? Talk about flushing money down the toilet. Arnott later came out with a conversion from air ride to regular shocks with springs. But the damage is done already.
\

MadCow1:
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3719005_whatsappimage201605143320x400_jpeg1a09e2ff6417d893a561c40dca42ff94


This CL 550 is not 12 Million Naira.

Fhucking waste bloggers.

/
Nice car.

Worst brand to spend money on...fast depreciation.

New one is about $100k

But the one in the picture is 2007-2010 body style: $20k

The body style before this CL500 can be picked for $5k

The rate of depreciation of Mercedes products sucks.

\

/
All the way from Maiduguri to own one of the most profitable oil fields in the SS. Other than that, he has no other known source of income. SS folks are really patient or do I say silly.
\

great664:
That's just the fact!

After 30 yrs of leaving Aso Rock, He has no other improvement on self, education, policies, life pattern, decision making, No NGO, nothing....

He was just sitting and eating his loot and Pension and income from his shares...

And they want someone like that to change Millions of Nigerians in 21st century

Smh for those they deceived

/
And you guys welcomed him back with an open hand.

Most of you believed that he was the best. If he is the best among all, what does that say about most of you?

I think that God has decided to teach Nigerians serious lessons of life and he found a good enabler in Buhari.
\

/
You cannot be a friend to everyone.

This is an example of a friend whose contact she should gladly lose.

People who keep friends like the bride are the ones who are not confident in their abilities. They are scared that they may need a favor from her in the future.
\

/
Good initiatives.

Poor planning.

Poor delivery.

As much as I will like the government to patronize local contractors, most of them have no idea about the science and engineering of road construction. Arab Contractors or CCC would have delivered a good job. These Aba roads even though better than they were are shameful to behold.
\

/
First Bank's woes have little to do with FX and naira devaluation. They relied on government patronage whereby they got excess liquidity from the government allocations and in turn make out loans to oil companies. They refused to reinvent themselves. The TSA killed that practice. Oil companies are barely breaking even and may not be able to service their loans due to the rout in oil prices.

I think First Bank should pack up because they are not solvent. After IMF's Largade visited Nigeria, I suspected that something onerous is cooking and subsequently closed all exposures to Nigeria banks. In this era, it is shoot first and ask questions later. Some folks asked me my rationale for such preemptive move. My response was succinct--by the time you find the right answer, your money is gone. It usually happens after Friday's market close. By Monday, folks will meet locked gates with fierce-looking Mopols to maintain law and order. Forewarned is fore-armed.
\

/
So Ambode has to micromanage his administration before things could be done right. What are the duties of the Commissioner of Works in Lagos state?

I am tired of black people.
\

inkon:
SR is doing a good job but I tell you, having their numbers will change nothing.

/
At least, curse them out.

That's better than nothing.
\

emamos:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/05/home-remedies-beat-obesity/

/
Simple.

Stop shoving things down your mouth and do regular exercise.

It doesn't sound like a rocket science.
\

/
Staging protests against the fuel price hike is a colossal waste of time. The police will end up killing a few people and life goes on.

What happens after the protest? Nigerians will still pay N145 or more per litre of gasoline.

Buhari has not even hammered the last nail to the coffin. The naira devaluation may just be it. Fasten your seat belts because there is a lot of turbulence ahead. There are still 3 more years left. Buhari may even win a second tenure especially with the way most of you are willing to sell their future for 3 cups of rice and N1000.
\

Bollinger:
I don't think you think through what you want to write before you do. The whole point of this is to stress how Nigerians think. You yourself are a prime example. You have said that since they "burn people who steal maggi then don't steal maggi". When you should have been condemning murdering people in the streets. That mindset is scary as phuck. Imagine 100 million people walking around thinking like that? I am not naive to think there is no country without crime, but it is the way it's citizens react that differentiates them.

/
I cannot think for people. I think for myself and deal with reality.
It has been established that if you steal billions in Nigeria you get only EFCC invitation and get bailed. But if one steals from the street, he will be roasted. The trend is clear. I ain't about to steal from the street any time soon. Forewarned is fore-armed. 180million Nigerians can never have one mindset. We just have to face reality and stop day-dreaming.

The folks that spend years to study Sociology and Psychology in the universities are not f.ools.
\