₦airaland Forum

Nobody should get careless with words here and tell this poor lady that she is this and that here, she is an unhappy lady that came here to seek advise for goodness sake. Don't depress her the more. None of us is perfect and she does not deserve to have that husband mete out all that to her whatever it is she has done.
People let's not be insensitive. I agree that she should make a check and see where she is erring him or pushing him outside the home but calling her names is way out of it. If you have nothing kind and useful to give her why not let others advise her as they are doing. Thanks

Thanks Rokiatu and Excanny, I don't really take Nairaland comments down to heart, the much I can do is avoid such people with bad vibes. There are times one can't help having such people get to one, for example----people open threads here seeking advice over their situation like the "traumatised husband" I mentioned and "a troubled wife" that is in a not-too-good state of mind. Such ones should be kindly and tactfully advised, insults and abuse are not the best for such people as it can depress them more. That is what I mean by we loving ourselves, rendering shoulders for people who come here to lean on us and not slapping them with unkind words.

Please for the sake of my privacy I ain't revealing which country here as that is where I reside but any interested person can send me a mail so that I can tell them where. I just heard in the news that they are going to some countries to request for doctors and decided to inform you to apply. There are lots of Naija doctors here and they are earning good. Wishing you all the best.

Are you really serious or just pulling our legs, do u have to go to this extent to get a woman when you are a man and can easily approach other women. What nmanner of a person are you that you are dabbling and messing with charms, is the girl not even better off without you because your character seems questionable from your post, I mean what other disgusting things will you do when you finally get her to become yours. Let's say she does not get pregnant for the early years of your marriage, you will quickly go get more juju for her to drink and vomit children, abi? You are so so disgusting!(Sorry I don't insult people but this is really sickening? Disgustee!

I90, sweetie pie. Didn't you hear that the club is closing down so that I can handle some stuffs. How are you doing Baby? So good to have you here------how come I didn't know of all other clubs here in NL. I have only hanged out by Luizworld's club. Give me the links to the other clubs so that I can go have fun.
E-e-e-e-em Bartender have you packed out those Alize Blues we toasted with the other day, help me serve my e-friend 190 cos he's such a boisterous person and is much fun.

Thread should close right now
Why?
The company decided to invest in another venture altogether. Thanks for coming by.

Cooljade:
thanks all 4 your candid thots and views on my post. we r all entitled to figure OUR OWN SIN. as 4 me, i'd pitch my tent on budx side. a kiss lies on the depth of passion involved. i know it may offend my husband but actually and honestly speaking,  we girls enjoy a harmless flirt once in a while cos it kinda makes us feel hot. i'm a sagitterian and love living life to the fullest. i would never let any man ENTER me but i can kiss if i like.
my husband enjoys MTV Base  and channel O at late nights,  and i make fun of him enjoying all them bum shakin. i also made a promise to give him a treat on our next visit to the states. The Treat: inviting a bootilicious bombshell to our hotel just 4 him.
anyways, to some i may sound crazy but thats how my hubby and i are. we live with fun and have 2 sons.
kissing while married, as a means of cheating, is relative.
i enjoy my vibrator and i don't think its cheating. do u?

@Cooljade
Yes girlfriend you can go ahead and invite not only a bootylicious bombshell but a p-o-r-n freak too for your husband but do us one favour and get a divorce attorney by the side because your wonderful husband may end up preferring the booty of the bombshell to yours. Don't come back to open a thread for us on how you lost your husband just as a woman shed tears in Tyra Bank's show narrating how her husband persuaded her into a t-h-r-e-e-s-o-m-e only for him to end up preferring the third party to her. You go girl!, I mean get your freak on! Where went Miss Elliot?
Get your freak, get your freak, get your freak on!


Whoops, I just noticed that this thread is dated as far back as 2008, will be glad to hear what happened after Miss bombshell was invited?
Cheerio

@Adambaise
Your recipe is excellent, you have the Rachel Ray details to it but "Onion" is a "No, No" when cooking Bitterleaf(Onugbu soup). It has no place in Onugbu soup and should not be used to spice the meat for the soup. I love to spice meat real good, I mean a well spiced meat is very enjoyable but for Onugbu and Ora soup, a taste of onions takes away the local flavour from it. Onions can spice up meats meant for Ogbono, Okro, Egwusi etc All in all we all are free to use nature's great different foodstuffs as we like, I sometimes add Cabbage to my egwusi and even love to create my own recipes. I have created stuffs I call names like Cucumato, Cabbagito etc. Cooking is so much fun, it's really an art in its own.

@Everyone
Has anybody tried spicing the meat for an Ora soup with Uziza, Maggi or Knorr and other spices. It's so sweet-----it is the same spice(uziza) that they use on that sweet dried meat they sell up north (what do they call the meat again, kirishi or something!).

Poor darling, I am wondering how anyone can get thru such an insensitive man that closes his ear off you with an earpiece and cuts you off so. May God work things out for you dear. All in all never return his immature behaviours with silence or malice, be openhearted and remain loving. Talk to him even when he doesn't talk to you, someday soon he will thaw. The bible is right when it said in Romans 12 ending that when you repay evil with good, you will be heaping coals of fire on the person.
As per that beating of a thing it is a "No,No", he mustn't beat you----next time he tries that let him hear it from you that you are not in marriage to be used as a punching bag for somebody and that you are never gonna tolerate that. Most bullies and violent people are weaklings, you only need to stand up for yourself and they will run and even develop some respect and fear for you but as long as you submit your body to be punched, you will be feeding their ego that is full of complexes. I am really wondering what in the world will make a man beat me bikonu, I can't remember when last I got beat up by my parents while young and growing up and after all these sweet years of taking care of oneself some person that calls himself "husband" will come to make me wallow in unnecessary fears. That can never happen in my life, I won't allow that.
Some women have been heard to say that they enjoy the break up and make up part of having their man beat them as things get sweeter when they make up, I beg to differ please.

Yeah Baby, It's a free Nairaland and any person can pop into any thread so it isn't restricted but it is basically for the ladies. I am looking at replicating Luizword's club but I also have another purpose: Organising a feminine blog to bring to the ladies here.
It's all about chilling with the girls, so which one are you going to help us do Rokky, are you good with music?----can you be our Dejay-----thank you Mr/Miss Dejay for playing my song----thank you, thank you (Sorry I'm only singing Chakachaka's song)

In my own opinion, I think that it was wrong to have made that rule that made priest and reverend sisters unmarried. They are human being and undergo the same hormonal effects like everybody else. A woman in her ovulation period experiences sexual urge as a result of the hormone and exactly so doe s a reverend sister, it is left for us humans to use our wills at such times and control ourselves .
Men have it harder than us women as their own sexual urge is greater and no human should be condemned to a life of not having to know the warmth, hugs and love of another in the union of marriage.

@poster
Don't tell me that you are begining to take the beating as normal and keeping quiet over it, talk to elders----your parents or his. Violence in marriage begins small but can lead to mighty life threatening things especially when a woman allows it on and on. Some have mistakenly killed wives while beating, a woman was disfigured and turned into such a monster that children cry at the sight of her face after her husband shot her on her face. So curb the catastrophe before it magnifies itself into something else.

Woooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii   
Where my ladies at?
Hands in the air!
Make some noise ladies( I mean stylishly of course)!

This is to the launching of Nairaland's single ladies club. It is a thread for ladies to chill out and enjoy ladies talk,get updated on events in our societies that concerns them, share their problems, joke and laugh and have fun). It is no place for quarrel, gossip, envy and jealous talk.
You are all welcome to our club, we are promising you more events and fun stuffs as time goes on and we stock our thread and make necessary adjustments here and there. You can go ahead and drop us stuffs that can liven up our club (n-a-k-e-d pictures are prohibited, of course our mukina is ever ready to put a check on that). While the following music below are playing, let us make a
toast to our club----Hip,Hip,hip-----Hurr-a-a-ar-r-r-r-y-y-y-y-y-y


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@Tink-ish
Were you sick or something? Sorry ooo-oo Ojare, I am sure you know what that means as you are almost Naija now. Gotta run to work, Take care of yourself okay.

@Tink-sh
Tink is that really you talking to me? I hope you can still remember me. That wasn't a nice way to treat a friend dear. I could not believe it to the point that I did not know what to say but keep mute.

@Oga Occultist(abeg I refuse to follow call you that name sef so try get another one abeg)

Every woman can't act like that, a woman that is 3 months to her wedding acting that lousy. Infact only one in 100 women will do that my friend but why our Chynwa come behave so. OMG!, you men have really wisened up nowadays and are giving us women exams wey hard pass Jamb exam sef. Abeg make God give me my own sef make I comot for them spinsterhood temptations abeg, God knows most people like me have tried Ojare.

MRbrownJAY:
@poster
i have a few questions for you:
- if the only reason for staying with your WIFE is "how she helped you in the past" then i can safely say that you married her for the wrong reason. why did you marry this lady, for LOVE or for PAPERS?
- how many children are you willing to abandon for your quest for black women?!
- what was so appealing about white women and so repulsive about black ones 7yrs ago?!
- if you went to 9ja a happy husband and suddenly all white women became worthless and all black ones became "superstars" then your problem is not with women but rather in your head. can you understand that?
- since you have already gone and tried it out with the yoruba gal then what is the reason for this thread?
- you lie talk about being unhappy but 3months ago you werent, what happened since then?!

you just sound like a greedy kid with his pockets full of candies wanting to grab MORE candy!

Only Mrbrownjay knows where to hit greedy guys where it hurts em. Oliver twist indeed!
Nigerian guys need to stop maltreating most of these white ladies that humble themselves to help them get a piece of their country, when they need their papers they go to any length seeking the help of the natives of the country they are seeking residence in only to give them poor women all kind of bad behaviour later on. I am not against anybody marrying to get their paper, we are all seeking greener pastures and better life for ourselves and family but let's not maltreat those that help us because some black Oyoyo or Asian cutie showed up, are we not the same people shouting against racism and stuffs. Some months back, a Nigerian man that married a woman( that has passed her fertile years and is already a grandmother) to get his paper was disgracing the woman when confronted with his infidelity and had the effrontery to tell the woman out of frustration that she should leave him so that he can get children (only because he is yet to get his residence because he sure is counting days to get that residence and divorce her ASAP). It's not good to use people like that without appreciating and being thankful for their help.

Don't also want to seem like I am wishing another bad. I wish every woman good especially in this uncomfortable box that the society and culture has fixed us in. I honestly wish for a future when things are easier for anybody that desires family and kids be it a woman or man.

Wishing you all the best!

whistleblo:
hey guys whats up,

I'm new in here and this is my first posting so Please cut me some slack here. I'm not Nigerian if it matters to some people,

You are very welcome brother man,  We are great people in here, very warm and hospitable, glad to have you in our midst when and only when you refer to our ladies respectfully. Once again, you are welcome to Nairaland, want some Naira  Our land flows with it for sure.

A man in New York is divorcing his wife recently because according to him, she forged a doctor's report and told all and sundry that she has leukamia ( a terminal illness). The man went soft and nice and decided to marry her. Churches and community donated stuffs and helped them wed only for the man to discover recently that she is a chronic liar, he went to the hospital the lady said gave her the report and was told that she was never a patient there. The man was so angry he told the whole community that she lied. The link to the story is below, I recently read it and at the end of it concluded that that may be a ruse the woman used to get the man to marry her. Women naturally desire to marry but that was the extreme of desperation for anybody to stoop to.

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Irish-American-divorces-wife-who-faked-cancer-for-wedding-freebies-102522554.html

Now this is a one sided story, a man of no integrity who is desperate to divorce his wife at all cost even if it means lying against her can equally cook up this story. I mean a lot happen in our world these days.
@poster
I am not concluding that our friend is playing this game just saying that you watch out and be careful. She didn't ask for a wedding so maybe she truly desires a child. We Nigerians look down on having children outside wedlock and for a lady to seek a child inspite of that----it shows some seriousness.  All the same you have to sniff around to know the real truth. As per honouring her request if she is for real, I am torn between wanting her to get her heart's desire knowing how that desire to have kids burn but having a kid that will not grow with the love of its mother is hard on the child as no one will ever love and care for him/her like the mum. So I'd rather fold my hands in prayer for you and her and wish that all things work out for good for all and that some miracle happen that will prove the diagnosis wrong after all so that she will live long like we all want to. Amen!
All I did here brother is to say that you be careful whatever you decide to do.

What was it you saw in the black lady that all of a sudden turned you against your wife, how about if she awakes one day and treats you the way you are planning to treat her when you yourself is very much in love with her.
Try to infuse whatever you felt she lacked in her into her, if it is manners----talk to her she will listen or is it the bedmatics formula of the black woman that is making you want to go kolomental   . You can equally teach her the new formula, abi my people no be yam? Na yam?
   If you were here 7 years ago asking for advice on black and white ladies ---who to go for? I would have advised you go for black cos I myself like my black Nigerian people too but you have made that choice already and can't be asking us to have mercy on you and to help you justify killing your marriage because you saw some Omoge black lady wey dey make your heart go jigbi jigbi jigbi gbam gbam (abeg make una leave me o make I laugh this evening o). Abi if we say Oya make you leave am now because she is white, how are we sure that tomorrow you no go see an Asian women begin dey sing another song. The song that time around fit be "e get as she dey me o, I like the way she dey do me o-----so do me o, do me, do me"--------
Sorry if I am a bit hard on you sweetheart but permit me to be a bit naughty for once, it's good to let down the hair in a while.
Now buckle up and take care of your wife Ojare, tell your eyes to stop doing kurukere movement joo.

Biggups to you for playing that detective on her, that was smart. Oldboy even marriage is going techno nowadays, you are sure wisening up the menfolk! I will not advise my brother to marry a woman who will not be faithful to him but that one test is not enough as some posters also said. If it were a more concrete physical test, only then do you have an evidence. She really failed that test but try forgive her, even if she no be better person you can mould her into one through lots of love. She may be trying to play safe and not put all her eggs in one basket, not that I am justifying that action of hers----------the length you guys have gone, she should be faithful but she may have acted so from feeling insecure. . Do you guys communicate enough through the distance? Loneliness can tempt her into that too.

james1:
@ivynwa.kpele'o.NL is full of intelligent mind's,peeps who will make you laugh and sometime's wish you never started a thread,lol.
But you should be able to defend your stance and re-explain to some peeps before they will come around.some that have initially insulted or disagreed with you change position' and show reasoning that was not there before after you"make thing's clear to them"
What was the thread you started then?give me the link.

James1 you can go thru this thread  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=504625.msg6942496#msg6942496
and see for yourself what is going on there. I have already abandoned the thread for them as I can't imagine discussing with people ranting like that, pouring all their frustration and animosity against God on me. If they are atheists, can't they hold it to themselves and leave christians to their belief. Do they have to insult the God I believe in and to my face too? You are even lucky that you did not come across the thread when it has all kinds of obscene perverted/disgusting pictures against christians that nearly made me throw up until some moderators came and wiped them away.
These guys are just an atom of the kind of insult and abuse that go on in this forum. The first day I entered this forum to commiserate with my fellow Nigerians on the death of president Yar adua, the welcome I got was serious abuse by the famous Nneka Anyanwu and some group of guys (I even mistook her for a frustrated Nigerian man and was surprised to learn that she is an exposed lady that lives in the US). My offense was being touched by the sight of the picture of Yar adua's grave. I was really shocked to the marrow that day.
A certain traumatized man whose wife is HIV positive came in here to seek advice on how to hold his family together through his ordeal and I don't know where some Nairalanders got the heart to laugh at this man and tell him that he will soon die. Why are some people exhibiting such more-than-heartless behaviour here. Such individuals should be put on check and some measures taken to prevent them from depressing good hearted Nigerians that come here to lime and bond with their people. Note that I am not speaking against NL but against the irresponsible behaviour of some members. I love the forum and even had a thread saying how I have come to be a bit addicted to it.

Siena:
Haha! Funny thread. So, it took this guy over 900 posts, to realise Nairaland wasn't for him?
And his leaving grammar's just as bad as when he first signed up, proof that some things remain constant, even illiteracy. @ OneNaija: Please, leave! We won't miss you in the slightest, and certainly don't expect to see you back, not even to log-in and read posts.

In as much as I don't hate Nairaland, I almost thought of doing what this person did today but the only reason I will not do that is that there are still good people here and one won't stop relating because of lots of bad-minded, negative, jealous, envious individuals that prowl here and have no atom of love for their fellow human being. Open a thread and they follow you around criticizing and insulting even when you try your best to be nice and to ignore their insults.
    I had a thread and had some sadistic perverts matching on it and saying all kinds of sick things that even made me run from the thread and even consider leaving this forum. Just staying by the sideline, reading and enjoying the good laughter Nairaland can bring seems better as this person did if that will keep my dignity intact for me and save me those insults but I still appreciate the good nairalanders and I am still here.
   The moderators are doing great but they need to be making checks on daily posts and be removing posts that are meant to hurt, insult or bring others down here. It's now I really confirmed that in our part of the world, we don't like to see even our own cousins succeed or be happy, why are some of us full of bad vibes, envy, jealousy, badheartedness----why? That is why you see people killing their friendsto have their car, a cousin killing his own cousin (to take away money the cousin is travelling abroad with. Where is the Love people?

Do you mean the christians who chose to be free in the presence of God? All the same, I waste no energy in religious argument. We are all free to believe and worship as we like, are we not? So do let's leave it there. Thanks. I hope you are having a great day and all is coming along great for you.

Bless you Baby!

Now don't be mad at me, by "tripping" here I mean "amazed, in awe of God". I happen to be of the school of thought that are very comfortable getting hippie with God. Haven't you seen how I have been making some noise for the Lord. I can sing to him, dance to him, give him a high five, shout to him, bow before him, love him , wave holy hands to him and trip for him. In his presence is fullness of joy.

@Davidylan
You are right, it's amazing how some words of the Bible sweep one off one's feet and has one tripping. Some years back, I use to store some amazing words in my phone and one day a girlfriend on going through one of them simply went tripping for God.

@Daylae
You are so right my brother, most of them gave credit to God even when some of them have not been ardent believers in God. There are certainly some things that happen to one in Life that gives one the assurance that there is God. I for one can't ever stop believing in God, infact I also believe that "he leadeth me". He has proved that again and again in my life which made that song one of my favourites.

@Brother stanley/Otanu
I don't have silver or gold to give, just to say that I am proud of you. Going all that way to senegal and being smart and wise enough to make a good business out of water. People like you exhibit that great quality every Nigerian has even when some of us have decided to use it negatively and bring shame to us all. We all are very industrious people that have the ability to create wealth out of nothing. May God provide this present need for you. Amen

aspabay:
I hate all these people who say Nigeria cannot achieve such feat. If you don’t believe that Nigeria can do it, try and get trapped you and your family in a well, Nigerian government will get you all out before 24 days.

Aspabay, are you really serious? Infact give me some high five, yes dearie they should quit the "woe betide our country Nigeria" and go try out that experiment of yours. Nigeria isn't that bad biko Ojare.