₦airaland Forum

DaGirl: hi!
hi!
Pls, How can i hide my post like all the ones i see here?
Is it the MOD that gets 2do dat?
I need mine hidden, as a matter of fact i need my thread deleted.
I just came in, was bashed badly & i had like 2delete my record wit nairaland & now dat i hav taken time 2go thru som other threads, i see how pple relate here.
I wud - prefer- to delete my account & reopen in a new name or just change my username to anoda.
Any hint on how i can do dat? Pple? Jaybee?
Pls... No abuse abeg. Just help if u can.
Thx!

PrettyCindy: Thanks alot. Can u please include it into the list of my topics (in my profile page)cos it was deleted from there too. I appreciate.

PrettyCindy: Hi Moderator, i just discovered that one of my threads is missing. The title is AM A SINGLE MUM, CAN I STILL FIND TRUE LOVE? I have searched for it but its no where. Please help. Thanks.

chaircover: You people make me laugh. I respect my husband not because of the money in his pocket but because he knows the right thing to do.

If my husband was in the posters fiance's position, he wouldn't say to me "shebi you have money" He would have scaled down the wedding to an amount that he can afford. Besides if they spend all her money on the 80% shortfall, how are they going to eat or have excess for a rainy day I wonder? The question is must they have a huge wedding?

Debo, I dont know why you keep on referring my way of thinking as warped thinking; the fact that it doesn't agree with your way of thinking doesn't make it warped.

chaircover: A culture where the man is treated like a king, a culture that has been in place from before our great grandparents were born; so tell my what do you expect when you start changing the dynamics of relationships?

chaircover: The man proposed to the woman and said please will you marry me; so how exactly did he intend to marry the woman in the first instance?

chaircover: Don’t get me wrong; I am happy to put some money down, but a whopping 80%? I might as well go marry myself and my borrowing you the money rather than just giving it to you, is actually doing you a favour. Why? Because I am saving you from your own ego. The ego that will go loopy and go into overdrive the day I decided to cook eba instead of amala and you will turn round and say “ Chinwe its not your fault o! Because you paid for the wedding abi? Any little thing will be “chinwe you are disrespecting me because you bought the suit I wore on my wedding”

chaircover: You guys need to make up your minds . . . seriously. . . . . Like I said, you cant have your cake and eat it.

lurkee: The problem with starting and moving back for me is that it will probably not happen. Once I start work here, I will probably get too scared to move back after a number of years. Also by then I will be married probably to someone in the UK so that is that. If there is a time make a decision it is now. I wanted to hear from people who might have experienced something similar either themselves or through someone else.

lurkee: Thank you all for your inputs.

The point of coming back to do NYSC is that it is a necessary evil to begin a career in this country as an employee. After NYSC, I, hypothetically, will be looking for a "good" job.

Lets also assume there were 2 friends in a similar situation in the 1980s when it was relatively easy to cross the pond. Let's name then A and B.

Mr A got the opportunity to move to the UK and started a career in the medical field as a nurse.

Mr B (lets assume he is my father) stayed in Nigeria chose to start his career there.

At the beginning of their careers, Mr A had a nice flat and a car and moved his whole family abroad to meet him later on. While Mr B lived in a face-me-I-face-you with his unemployed wife and their first child.

Many years later, Mr A has managed to buy a house in London but he is stuck in London till he finishes his mortgage and his kids got sent to university through the government student loan process. Mr B on the other hand, went on to become the CEO of a successful company, managed to send 3 of his children abroad for their universities and has retired from a corporate job and he his now working for himself.

Would a fear of ending up like Mr A compared to other peers that chose to stay in Nigeria be a logical one?

chaircover: He could have said "Sweetheart, we have a problem. You know how much I love you and so much look forward to getting married to you in August, but this accommodation problem has exhausted all my funds. I know that this is not the norm and it is my responsibility to provide for this wedding, however is there any way that you can help me financially please. I will really appreciate it. See it as a loan and I will return it as soon as I am in a position to.