₦airaland Forum

PrettyCindy: Thanks alot. Can u please include it into the list of my topics (in my profile page)cos it was deleted from there too. I appreciate.

PrettyCindy: Hi Moderator, i just discovered that one of my threads is missing. The title is AM A SINGLE MUM, CAN I STILL FIND TRUE LOVE? I have searched for it but its no where. Please help. Thanks.

Kevin-II:
jaybee, why did I get banned? - Kevin_II

chaircover: You people make me laugh. I respect my husband not because of the money in his pocket but because he knows the right thing to do.

If my husband was in the posters fiance's position, he wouldn't say to me "shebi you have money" He would have scaled down the wedding to an amount that he can afford. Besides if they spend all her money on the 80% shortfall, how are they going to eat or have excess for a rainy day I wonder? The question is must they have a huge wedding?

Debo, I dont know why you keep on referring my way of thinking as warped thinking; the fact that it doesn't agree with your way of thinking doesn't make it warped.

chaircover: A culture where the man is treated like a king, a culture that has been in place from before our great grandparents were born; so tell my what do you expect when you start changing the dynamics of relationships?

chaircover: The man proposed to the woman and said please will you marry me; so how exactly did he intend to marry the woman in the first instance?

chaircover: Don’t get me wrong; I am happy to put some money down, but a whopping 80%? I might as well go marry myself and my borrowing you the money rather than just giving it to you, is actually doing you a favour. Why? Because I am saving you from your own ego. The ego that will go loopy and go into overdrive the day I decided to cook eba instead of amala and you will turn round and say “ Chinwe its not your fault o! Because you paid for the wedding abi? Any little thing will be “chinwe you are disrespecting me because you bought the suit I wore on my wedding”

chaircover: You guys need to make up your minds . . . seriously. . . . . Like I said, you cant have your cake and eat it.

lurkee: The problem with starting and moving back for me is that it will probably not happen. Once I start work here, I will probably get too scared to move back after a number of years. Also by then I will be married probably to someone in the UK so that is that. If there is a time make a decision it is now. I wanted to hear from people who might have experienced something similar either themselves or through someone else.

lurkee: Thank you all for your inputs.

The point of coming back to do NYSC is that it is a necessary evil to begin a career in this country as an employee. After NYSC, I, hypothetically, will be looking for a "good" job.

Lets also assume there were 2 friends in a similar situation in the 1980s when it was relatively easy to cross the pond. Let's name then A and B.

Mr A got the opportunity to move to the UK and started a career in the medical field as a nurse.

Mr B (lets assume he is my father) stayed in Nigeria chose to start his career there.

At the beginning of their careers, Mr A had a nice flat and a car and moved his whole family abroad to meet him later on. While Mr B lived in a face-me-I-face-you with his unemployed wife and their first child.

Many years later, Mr A has managed to buy a house in London but he is stuck in London till he finishes his mortgage and his kids got sent to university through the government student loan process. Mr B on the other hand, went on to become the CEO of a successful company, managed to send 3 of his children abroad for their universities and has retired from a corporate job and he his now working for himself.

Would a fear of ending up like Mr A compared to other peers that chose to stay in Nigeria be a logical one?

chaircover: He could have said "Sweetheart, we have a problem. You know how much I love you and so much look forward to getting married to you in August, but this accommodation problem has exhausted all my funds. I know that this is not the norm and it is my responsibility to provide for this wedding, however is there any way that you can help me financially please. I will really appreciate it. See it as a loan and I will return it as soon as I am in a position to.

Kevin_II: jaybee, why the you move my thread to the jokes section? https://www.nairaland.com/927403/90-nigerian-girls#10721441 It is an insult to my person, as you are indirectly calling me a joke. If I thought it was a joke i would have gone there myself to post it. am waiting

odiaero: How can u say Pep is Argentine?

Jeel: Barcelona are believed to have already identified Athletic Bilbao coach Marcelo Bielsa as his ideal successor, Goal.com understands.

The Argentine is out of contract in the summer and has the unanimous backing of the Barca board, as well as that of Guardiola, who considers Bielsa the best coach in the game today.

agiboma: Look i agree with you 100% on the above no doubt about it. So lets talk about this Nigeria for a minute ok.

1.) Nigeria where a man can LEGALLY have multiple wives
2.) Nigeria where men are the head of the houshold and usually have all the money
3.) Nigeria where woman are not empowered or recognised in the society as an equal
4.) Nigeria where the employment is scare unemployment is high

What are women to do in this society based on the above and so much more i did not mention, find a wealthy man and hold on @ all cost. Look i did not create the dynamics of this society. in short in my home country it is the exact opposite of life over here so this whole expereince has been a learning curve for me but i see a lot more these days that I have opened up my eyes to the realities of the society that i currently live in. Would i give this advice to someone in my home Country of course NOT. Am I a hyprocrite. The answer again is no. For example if OP was in Canada I would tell her to divorce if she wants and take her chances she will find a man, of course over their she would be entitled to half the husbands assets. So i would say go for it. But come on in Nigeria, 3 kids divorced and looking for a decent man that will make you happy. That request superseads a miracle ooo. until things change in this country like men only being able to keep 1 wife and women being able to sue and get half their assets upon divorce i dont see anything changing, in regards to men keeping their joystick under control. . Look i did not make the rules of this society, Im just living in it thats all.