₦airaland Forum

walk away.

nagging is usually used by people who lack any form of power in the relationship.
for example a parent don't have to nag their kid to do dishes. all u have to do is take out the whip or threaten not to feed him dinner  
a child on the other hand will nag the parent to buy stuff for him, allow him to sleep over at a friend's house etc. because he has no other way of making the parent listen/obey expect to annoy the parent with nagging.
the nagger is like a pest or mosquito murmuring in your ear and you will do anything to make it go away.

so, nagging works for the powerless.

it's the other way round. Atheists get more offended by Christians.

okeyxyz:
it may be true our youths don't read much, as evidenced from failure rates, but to say they stopped reading because of smart-phones & tablets is blatant conjecture. iphone which started the era of smart phones was only launched in 2007 in US & Europe, so how long has smart phones & tablets been common in nigeria for you to summarily attribute them to lack of reading in our youths? it simply makes to sense at all.

lol 
you can read with tablets and electronic devices. 
even I use a tablet to read books nowadays. I just download them to my amazon kindle app.
paper books is rapidly declining as the main mode of reading. eventually they will become dirt cheap. even many bookstores are losing business and closing up ex. borders
don't know about in Nigeria though.

@seun,
sounds like a good idea. hope you get good responses. but I suggest u target your business to academics. (ex university students or professors) and find a way to connect your business to universities and colleges. maybe set up a corporate bookstore/library at schools. and charge monthly fee. per book fee should go to premium books/resources.

londoner:
Ama is 42!!!!! She looks very young for her age.

money good.

yea she's an igbo woman.
but yes I agree with you. she might be trying to grow a [i]pe[/i]nis.

freecocoa:
Congratulations to them but is this her first marriage?

she's a 42 yr old divorcee with 3 kids. read the first post.
it's her second marriage. and I agree that 3 day celebration is just too much

Ama's mom was Annan's first wife. the german lady is his second wife (after his divorce from his first wife of course).
Congrats to her and I hope there was a pic of both couple. I can see she's following the footstep of her dad with the whole divorcee status 

OgidiBoy:
^^^ That is so rude, you've not even seen the lady

aloy/emeka has issues with yoruba women. she's obsessed with us for some reason. 

danteweb:
more pics
[img]http://www.mainframemovies.tv/wp-content/themes/mainframe/images/mid3.jpg[/img]

what's the name of the guy in blue?

Fashola for President!!


definitely a man of action.

bhusayor:
IMO, everybody wants a good life, a woman ready to marry a poor, but aspiring man does so because she hopes things would be better, and he'd get rich, not that shes prepared to live with a poor man for the rest of her life, in the long run, going for a ready-made man and an 'about-to-be-made man' means financially securing yourself and the future of the family, irrespective of whether the woman is earning good money.

true talk.
at the end of the day, most women want to live a financially secure life. for herself and her family (kids included). whether by going for a rich guy or a potentially/aspiring rich guy.
even many women who, blinded by love, eloped with poor men end up regretting it many yrs into the marriage when romance has faded and family is drinking garri.
not that love is not important, but there are also other important factors that go into marriage.

men should start learning to respect working women because it's really for the betterment of the family. but many mistake it to be an assault against the man's manhood or "head of household" status.

@OP, trust me they're fine. they've lived in the marriage for decades. in fact it might be more detrimental if they separate.

Lax75,
could u re-post the pic?

i want to see it. re-post it Lax

what made you believe in it previously?

although I can see the point about it being economical.

^ are you speaking from experience?

I am against cohabitation. it's a sin

I used to be in support of motions like this but i'm not so sure about this.
instead of outlawing it. why not outlaw excessive flogging and allow moderate flogging?
have we developed alternative measures to discipline our youth?

let's not copy the west on this one. average age of person in US is 45 so they outnumber and can easily control their youth.
average age of person in Nigeria is 16 sooner or latter they will be the ones flogging us.

Dis Guy:
We can easily repay the money they just need to see the projects through

heheh I laugh in mandarin.
when in the history of Nigeria have we ever had a easy time repaying foreign debt?
we can't even keep our much smaller surplus oil revenue without draining it in a matter of months
talkless of repaying huge sum of foreign aid easily.

Joagbaje:
You can't commit fornication with your wife.

good point.
makes lots of sense

desertboom:
@Jenifa. Hahaha. . . You make me laugh. You reason like a 14 years old, there is always a difference between Girls and Women maybe you're still in your maturity stage. Women like you lack foresight to identify a good man, maybe someday when you grow older you're know that not all that glitter is gold

I definitely do not lack foresight to identify a good man.  lots of good men surround me
and glitter is the last thing on my mind.
I'm sorry you have failed to understand my point. but that's your problem.

it's really common sense and many women have articulated it on this thread. even the OP articulated the same idea. No matter how good a man is, sometimes a woman who has achieved freedom and independence will be very reluctant to abandon it for a life of submissiveness. If you read OP's post you will see that many of the problems he sees in women is the lack of submissiveness. to which I responded that it is impossible to be submissive to a poor man. not because i love money. but because I love my freedom. Life is much more easier as a submissive wife of a rich man than a submissive wife of a struggling man.
so the whole idea of submissiveness needs to be re-evaluated if modern day marriage is to work.

and yea there is a lot of idealism in my post. well, that's because i'm not a 30 yr old desperate woman looking for a husband. maybe when i'm in your shoes (God forbid), i'll see your point. but for now, I don't --and I pray I never will.

besides what's the difference between a woman who marries a rich man, versus a woman who marries a poor man with "potential" to be rich.  the former just happen to be luckier while the latter had to settle for less (either because she's running out of time or she's trying to convince herself that her poor husband will magically become rich later in the future).

as long as men keep searching for a submissive wife. women will keep searching for a rich man (or a "potentially" rich man). the two go hand in hand just as master and slave go hand in hand.

they are lighter than average imo.
but for hollywood standard, they are dark skinned.

this is what naija gets for hiring a former World Bank executive. more loans.

i hope we can repay it

[quote author=k.o.n.y link=topic=768060.msg9219568#msg9219568 date=1317007612]All shes saying is that her mother was lightskin. Shes just a lightskin black women. Not biracial
And you said the majority were light skinned. Which they are not[/quote]I am assuming you are a light skinned guy yourself which explains why you consider those women you posted (and halle berry) to be dark skinned. maybe they are dark compared to you.

desertboom:
@Jenifa. . . . That's the problem with you women, sometimes I wonder if MATERIALISM is written in the faces of all women/girls, so a rich and submissive woman is not good for a struggling hardworking guy. What happened to Respect, Royalty, Love, and unconditional support? Many women like you will always cry and blame satan because of this kind of mentality you just displayed above.

of course there will be respect, royalty, love, unconditional support.
just not submissiveness.

horny4u:
I beg to differ with somethings, I donot think the problem is who is richer or poorer,  I think its ambitious, wise and a smart decision maker and taker, a fearless Alpha male,
I love money too much  BUT i know lots of guys that married their wives richer than they are but today the Guys are commanding money, Its the potential !!!
If you see a man who has hustler potential, good attitude and hopefully education to back it up, trust me, his millions are already there just not yet visible to the Unclad eyes.
I agree its almost impossible to be submissive to a lazy man , I for one its a deal breaker I love the idea of a man waking up before me, when  ideas come our way he actions them with tenacity and guides me with his vast knowledge , those stuff turn me right on.
I can submit to a man without a lot of money but lots of hustler spirit, but i can never submit or respect a lazy man, just not in my DNA.

Yea I get what you are talking about. But who is willing to take the risk.
besides, once he starts making the money, he may decide to upgrade /go for a prettier woman or trophy wife.
I've heard those stories too many times. girl who stayed with a struggling partner gets dumped for a fresher girl once he makes it big.
but I get what you mean though and I agree with most of your post.

and I don't necessarily mean that he has to be a millionaire. just someone who is financially stable and makes more than me.
if he makes less than me, i will still treat him with respect but he definitely won't be making all the big decisions in the house. I will be doing that because i'm the one bringing in the money. if he doesn't like it and prefers a submissive wife, then he should go look for a village girl.

I do it once in a while (ie if bathroom is occupied). nothing wrong with it.
just make sure to wash all the dishes in the sink first. and then clean up your mess (toothpaste remnants etc) afterward.
otherwise, it's disgusting

MIrhABi:
The truth of the matter is women have been given this much freedom that they indulge in it and forget their priorities.Only a wee bit of them can settle down with a struggling young man rather they prefer being mistresses of some shameless old pot belly man.In this present age,i think so many women have lost it.You definitely cannot compare it to the days of our mothers.

the solution will come when men change their demands on women to be submissive. if that happens, women will not mind marrying a struggling man.
until that day comes, most financially independent women have no other choice than to remain single or marry a richer man who they can be submissive to.

because it is impossible to be submissive to a man who is poorer than you. how can a woman sweat to earn money and at the end of the day, the husband (who is not earning anything) has control over all the decisions. won't the woman rather be single and have control over her own life?
and wait till she can find a rich man to marry then ehn ehn you can be satisfied to be a submissive wife. at least the husband will take care of her and she may not even have to work.  so it's easy to be submissive to a rich man.

but for the struggling guy, abeg find a job if you want a submissive wife. otherwise, women will continue to marry late.

at least Nigerian population will decrease small 

Lax75:
This is a shame. Don't know about other men, but when I see a hot black woman with some cute braids, I always thank God for creating my race.

unless those women are mixed or have naturally long, straight hair, those "cute braids" you talk about are made with extensions (fake hair).

that's your preacher's opinion.
but I do agree that you can use the tree or apple as a symbol for lust and worldliness (sex, material things, greed etc).
ie the tree and apple can represent many things as you see fit.

anonymous6:
I know Jenifa lol

I agree with you earlier statement because their are black men out there that do like weave over natural black women hair, also it goes beyond attracting men. In the workplace it is either your hair is natural but straighten(either relaxer or hot comb) OR the black woman has[b] weave or wig in the hair [/b]or they won't get hired. Especially in a professional job like a law firm or corporate world. Oprah and Michelle Obama don't wear weaves but they do straighten it either by relaxer or blow dryer because lets be real Oprah and Michelle wouldn't have gotten far with straighten hair

I totally agree.
not matter how comfortable one is with her natural hair. she is not a one-man island and there are many external factors that influence her choice besides her own internal confidence and pride. ex. employers, family, men etc opinion matter. Like i said, most women wear weaves to fit in the society. and the societal standards are defined in a large part by our celebrities.
I have seen many women who wear out their natural hair. I admire their confidence and at the same time feel bad for them because I know the rejections they will face by society. esp if their natural hair is very nappy.

same goes with bleaching. it is a horrible thing to do to oneself but the women who do it are not silly or oblivious of the social benefits (in the short term at least lol). It is a fact that men and society in general prefer lighter skin and straighter hair. that is exactly why women do it. It's not a silly reason at all although it has consequences for ones self esteem and health. It's like choosing your poison or the lesser of two evils.

anonymous,

don't mind him. lol