₦airaland Forum

cool pic. but are these yoruba ppl performing? yoruba buba, sokoto and even cap. lol
www.nairaland.com/attachments/374025_Hausa_1_jpg6303d8707013a2e0ab09db183967db1c

lol @ "so there are terrorist christians"

^ yea him.

If you were at some location and met someone who you feel is Nigerian (either by looks or dressing or language etc), will you say hi to them?
I've been in so many of these kinds of awkward situations and don't know whether to talk to them or not.   

I know this depends on people too. some do it, some don't.
so what do you do?

they all look yoruba. only one of them (younger horse rider) has the stereotypical hausa look.

I think if women stay in shape they can look like that, or even better, at 50. or if they are positive and living life.
i've attended some yoruba bday parties (they celebrate everything under d sun ) and the oyinbo coworker attendees* are always surprised at these women's age.
reminds me of the 64yr old ita giwa clubbing thread. lol


*botox and injections na for oyinbo

silly topic. if woman tell you to put your hand inside fire, will you do it?

TEE ZERO:
I am actually trying to see whether it would be a futile attempt to promote a back-to-our-roots campaign. Would like you to check www.myweku.com and search for Ojeikere and see if you are not impressed by the hair styles there.

I don't trust these kind of "back to roots" campaigns. why are you focusing on women?
it is a futile attempt jor. we don't want another taliban Iran in Nigeria abeg.

sorry for the long essay. well, it just shows that i'm taking your problem seriously. and that i have a lot of time on my hands

dremoney:
@ Jenifer

dunno wot is wrong with admin,they wont let me insert quote again o.
Bout living with her uncle. She actually pays £360 pm bills inclusive cuz d bros has been jobless n mortgage bill no stop
However,that was one of the reasons i proposed earlier than normal cuz i thot to myself,if dis girl can live with a relative,then she is not restless and kindda homely.
I remember giving that as one of my reasons for proposing early when having a discussion with the uncle's wife before she advised me to go for my course.

Unfortunately,i was fooling myself cuz koni meaning 

wow. thanks for clarifying. If she can do that (supporting her family by helping to pay mortgage and bills) then i'm sure she has a good head over her shoulders.
we can't really hear her part of the story can we. otherwise, I am curious as to what she will have to say.

but the whole proposal and marriage thing went too fast. that's where I fault her if it is true that she was the one who was desperate to get married. she shouldn't have rushed into it.
I don't think she is a bad person based on what you have said. i think you guys rushed things too fast rather than taking things at a slower pace.

The engagement went on and we got to the stage of registry.On d day we were to give a notice of intention,she got there an hour late without a call n dint even pick up wen i called.I[b] waited for her to get dere,showed her to d lady n wanted to leave[/b].She blocked my car,asked y i deared to leave and in-short,created a scene at d local council by shouting n assaulting me.We dint talk for a week until we made up.

wow. you both are something else. she is at fault for showing up late and you are at fault for trying to leave when she got there kai. you both are NOT ready for marriage at all. did you decide to leave out of anger/ trying to seek revenge? or where were you rushing to?

why would you leave your "wife to be" at the register and expect her not to cause a scene. If i were in her shoes, i wouldn't cause a scene but I wouldn't sign anything at the register either because that's not a good sign for how the marriage will turn out. that day must have been embarrassing for both of you.  but i guess the lady in question was desperate to get married. why couldn't you both even go together? 

After scolding her,she just bought a ticket and went to lagos on the excuse that she is stressed and humiliated.she had been there from 23rd december til now,telling me she cant be bothered again cus i said i was returning to Nigeria.

she said she can't be bothered with you again?
so who broke up with who? who's ending the relationship?
what was her reaction when you canceled the wedding?


overall, to me. I think she was too desperate to get married and she was settling for you. You are not her ideal choice but she had no other option. put on that family pressure from her mom. I will suggest you get over her (I'm not even sure if you were into her in the first place) and move on. find a woman who is not a professional because her expectation will always be high. Or better still, wait until you yourself have become a professional/ financially stable before getting married. you rushed the whole thing i must say.
Definitely go home!!! find someone else.

I don't think she will forgive you for quiting her job if she moves back with you to naija. Her expectation will swell even higher because she has quit her career for you.

haha this is serious.

unipol:
is this a gender fight or home VS abroad? anyway.
please poster can you forget them and their problems. i am in nigeria, single and searching. are you in nigeria too?

I don't think it's a gender fight anymore. it seems to be a full blown gender war. lol
but me i'm entertained by the drama.

Acidosis:
lol.
About the issue of hair, just visit a church like Deeper Life Bible Church. Then you can conclude

haha so true.

a lot of things women do in terms of hairstyle and fashion etc is to attract men and keep up with beauty standards (light skin, straight long hair etc). so if they are wearing weaves and relaxing their hair, it's because that's what men prefer.
plaits are old school.

but if you still like plaits, join deeper life as suggested.

mobo you seem to be more frustrated for these ladies than they are for themselves sef. what's your problem.

na wa o.
oya let's talk about success stories.

why can't men be nurses? is there anything wrong with that? or find another profession. medical technician or something.

I think you're just looking for any excuse to justify yourself. lol
a lot of times sef. I don't think any man is sponsoring the women to become nurses. even if that is the case, the women pay back (fully + MORE in terms of taking care of the family) eventually.

I think guys should develop themselves and stop looking for excuses. "i can't develop myself because i'm busy helping to develop my wife" you don't even know how silly that sounds.

pslm23:
Men do not hesitate to tout the popular saying "I'm the man, I'm the head of this household, I'm the provider, I'm the one wearing the pants" when it comes to money issues etc. So, my thing is if you say u r all of that and above, do not let the woman give you money, be the man you claim to be.

yes the man is the head of household. don't mind these westernized women that are trying to wear the pants.

I hear you guys @homerac7, mr jingles & Akainzo you have really good points!!!
i guess my worry is misplaced and unnecessary.

mrjingles:
@ Akainzo, you left out the most crucial element- deregulating the prices, NO ONE will invest lost of cash in building a refinery only to have fixed or regulated prices. THATS the main reason why the new refineries have not come up. The recovery of outlay is not clear and profitability is dependent on someone else determining prices and not the market. Secondly when u say devolve ownership of the crude to the IOCs what do you mean.The projects are usually JVs or PSC so each partner sells its share of the crude using its own mechanisms. Am no expert in this area but i think thats how is should work, so a bit confused by your point on devolution.

@ Jenifa, US did not "get rid" of their manufacturing as you claim, China seized it from them due to low cost and high quality. American economists have been decrying the loss of manufacturing jobs for decades so it has nothing to do with pollution. Simple economics of comparative advantage.

can you explain the part in bold?
why would a private company look on "someone else" to determine price. who will this someone else be? govt?

When international price was high, government paid subsidies from monies dt could hav been used for other developmental purposes. Now its selling low, is government saving? Y has d government postponed d evil days by paying unbearable high subsidies? At what costs r we making this postponement? It's no question of if, but when it will become unavoidable. By then what would d current wastage called subsidy would hav given us? Zero, of course. Only dt some individuals became stupendously rich from d scam. What we should have used in building infrastructures, we r blowing away to create mirage, yet d government expects us to clap for sustaining d illusion. Thanks Livi Ajuonuma ( 'open house party' indeed)

homerac7, you know fuel is heavily subsidized in the US right?
not saying this is right though. I like the phrase "eating our tomorrow today" I think that captures it well.

nvm just read all your posts. goodluck!!! You guys are maybe meant to be just friends. no marriage.

but if she's a doctor why is she stuck up on money and living with relatives? is she paying off med school loans or what?

buzugee:
absolute bollocks. when i lived in manchester all my best friends were pakistani and indian. i was like family. went to mosque with them and all (they were trying to convert me to islam). bruh ? the wives are the most sexually repressed and saddest creatures ever. some of them actually sneak around and cheat, believe it or not. a lot get divorced. some of the wives just vanish and go missing. they run off back to india to marry their childhood sweetheart etc etc. dont let the facade fool you now. i also know this married indian woman who walks around checking out the package of black men. always staring discreetly at crotches of black men looking for a bulge (extremely sexually repressed). entering that world was an eye opener for me.

hahaha you black guys feel that every race of women are obsessed with you or something.
I think that may be one of your problems in the long run.

I really dread the time when most diaspora naija kids will be growing up in conditions familiar to many Caribbean kids today: single mum households, large turnover of boyfriends. Terrible prospect.

this is inevitable.

Besides, i have never dated any man before that had to rely on me so much and this is a new experience for me and i just wanted to seek people's opinion

From your posts, he doesn't rely on you. You mentioned yourself that he has never once asked you for money. You are the one who offered yourself to be relied on. He was surviving without you and he will continue to survive without you.

You have to use your best judgment and ask yourself, if he leaves you tomorrow, will you regret what you did for him? if the answer is yes, stop giving him money!!!
if the answer is no, go ahead good Samaritan

All the same, I think you need to sit him down and talk about spending. You say he always looks sleek and what not. is he living above his means? and you are supporting his expenses just because he is your boyfriend and you want to keep him looking handsome? ie keeping up with the joneses? If then, you are partially to blame.

Also, teach him how to cook sometime when you are free. You are not his wife (yet). unless you enjoy feeding him of course then keep doing what you're doing. lol

3. I once dated a guy and was so crazy about him. took some money outta ma savings to help him buy a car. He was jobless and I also gave him ma credit to hold unto incase and whenever he needs anything . . . guessed what? it was maxed out. Barely 3 months later we broke up. I can't take the car from him and can't get my money back and left with huge debts and gbese to pay up. I am not saying this will be your case but this is something I will NEVER do again (give a guy money). I am sorry but unless we are married, I definately ain't shedding no money for a guy. If you are broke I will support you in the best way however possible.

that's crazy.
My conscience will never let me do that to anybody. male or female.
what a loser he was.

you may not blive this, but some 9ja guys do this things for free, at least i know i do it. several times i've seen ladies dragging heavy luggages, i help them, i help women with their tyres, when they have a car break down, in lagos traffic, i allow women get in line, i still open doors for women, even yesterday i helped a girl with t-fare go home, and she just asked me at the bus-stop i dnt know her b4, and i dont ask for numbers or addy, blive me if i see these ladies anywhere i wont even recognise them. i just cant stand seeing ladies do tedious stuff. once told my ex to stop pounding yam for me, but she wont listen.

my family and friends always say i'm not meant to be an African dou.

well, you need to be cloned. lol

marabout:
Jenifa,

Indians don't stay all in India. They are more successful than us in marriage and all. They take the best of western culture like education etc and mix it with family values etc and voila, they have a winning formula.

I am in their midst daily so I know what I am talking about.  Not copying everything another person does is not hatred. It is maintaining one's identity while taking the best from others.

That's because most indian men do not feel like they have other options or choices (maybe due to family pressure as someone already said) how many indian men do you know that are dating whites? or asian? or latino? how many even date that much?
I have indian friends and some don't even believe in dating. it's either marriage or nothing. they are very traditional. Nigerian men on the other hand will criticize "western culture" but fully engage in it.

besides Indians are probably naturally family oriented. they are not the ones you will see at bars or clubs. instead they are very studious and that translates to being hardworking after they get married.

not to forget the fact that the women are also pressured to be submissive. especially since the men are probably the breadwinner rather than the women (as it is the case in some nigerian marriages).
a lot of women have nothing to complain about if the guy is providing most of her needs. but if she's the one taking care of herself and children, she has a right to complain if she sees fit. just as the guy has a right to complain if he finds anything wrong.

hahahah blame it on Nollywood. the movie industry that has taken over Africa.

I notice it too but I think it's cool.

roymary:
They say the men sleep around but we rarely meet them as virgins.

but I don't think they sleep around as much. They probably lost their virginity to a boyfriend rather than one night stand. or sex buddy

marabout:
Jenifa,

if the men you know here sleep around like dogs, then you associate with questionable people. Change your environment.  I don't move with such men. My better half knows what I can do and what I cannot do.
I don't have any reasons to hide things from her. Am no angel but such don't freak me,

hahahaha trust me, if I disassociate myself from african guys that don't sleep around, i will have NO african male friends. maximum one or two. but due to the cultural backgrounds, it's hard not to associate with them.  to me, old habits do not die. I can already predict how their marriages will be filled with cheating and these guys are so sexist and caught up in their idea of how women should behave.

marabout:
What is the balance of power when people forget their culture and copy western ways verbatim?

why not stay in Nigeria if you hate western culture so much. 

most men on here sleep around like dogs and talk about how easy it is to get girls here. why didn't they stick to their "culture" and avoid these girls?
it is only when the "western culture" doesn't benefit you that you start complaining.
to me, that's hypocritical behavior. to embrace the part of western culture that benefit you. and then bash the part that benefits women.

to me, it's mostly women that are keeping Nigerian culture going in the west. not men. but that's my opinion.

blackspade:
If you think stealing Africa's natural resources, segregating Africans in their homeland, and drawing up nations that ended up having civil wars because of previous cultural differences was good for Africa, than that's your demented view on things.

My opinion of Colonialism, is that it was the worst thing to happen to Africa after the Atlantic slave trade. Colonists embarked on our lands at first to gather slaves (sold by Africans, but still bad). Later on after the slave trade, many European nations partook in "The scramble for Africa", where they created colonies, and made indigenous Africans build their new societies, and at the same time making them live in townships outside of the city (in most cases). Irresponsible colonists also did no research when they decided to draw maps of these new colonies, and didn't think twice about who or what could happen if the two come together.

Many if not all civil wars in Africa can be blamed on the carelessness of colonists who decided to draw maps of countries that would fail in the future. For that one reason is why you have many African nations who have split ie. Mali, East Africa, Congo, etc. . . You also have former states like India which included Pakistan and Bangladesh at one point, but ended up splitting.

To conclude, the only good thing that came out of colonialism is the infrastructure it left when it was destroyed. The rest about colonialism, I absolutely hate, and wish it never happened. I also don't mind when "colonist descendent's" leave our lands en mass, ie. Afrikaners, Angolan-Portuguese, French Ghanaian, etc. . .

THANK YOU.
Fela will call it Kolomentality. It is very widespread and evident in this thread.

even the limited infrastructure was meant to facilitate resource extraction and I won't be surprised if only british and few Nigerian subjects were allowed to enjoy them.  This was the case in many parts of Africa.

i'm currently reading about colonialism (around the world and including Nigeria) and it baffles me to come on this thread and see these comments.
what it tells me is that there isn't a good history curriculum in Nigerian schools. and we know nothing about our past.

this thread is a disgrace to all Nigerians and African people. and a disgrace for the thousands and thousands of responsible men and women and children who fought and died for our freedom. They are rolling in their graves!!

we forget our history when we don't learn it and we are bound to repeat the same mistakes.
Still knocking my brain in amazement and can't believe what I'm seeing.


If life was so good and rosy under colonialism why did many Africans risk their lives to end it!!

@ babapupa, thanks for publishing the contact information. Oya, people start writing letters and sending your phone calls!!!

but I don't see anything wrong with complaining to Fashola sha. He's the governor afterall. the one the people hold responsible when they go to the ballot boxes.

is this another wazobia story?
i'm still reeling from the "ugly building tax" story o. lol

lucky guy. i'm sure he enjoys his career.

there are many straight but effeminate men. that's ok. they probably even make the best husbands. lol