₦airaland Forum

^Aletheia, be kiaful oh . . . joagbaje is my best friend! He complained about kunle because its been an 'ongoing' thing from my understanding. We all need to try to do a better job of being cordial with even those we fiercely disagree with.

Kunle, as a sign of good faith & no bad belle, would you be willing to patronize joagbaje's excellent artwork? http://www.redbubble.com/people/joeagbaje me I'm getting my own very soon.

Joagbaje:
@jesoul
I just want it to be on record that I complained officially because the other time i mentioned this, you claimed I never complained.

I did not 'claim' anything. I simply asked you to provide the links/posts where you complained directly to me/the mods and we ignored you - which you could not do. Complaining on random threads which we do not see does not count.

  Now that said, I have said to you in the past that we will do a better job of watching your back and making sure topics/posts don't descend into personal attacks. Whether or not people don't like your viewpoints is certainly not reason for anyone to harass you & break the rules - and we will address it when it is brought to our attention.

You guys made rules ,and this rules are to create atmosphere of sanity. A poster is supposed to focus on topic and not on an individual. As long as you are passive about such, the site will get messy. How can you call harassment freedom of speech?. So what are the rules for?

As I said to Kunle - it is a very very thin line between 'freedom of expression' vs 'personal attack', seperating the viewpoint from the person is often very tricky and if you spend time in other sections you will realize this very quickly. So from here on, please post direct links to threads/posts/posters that you feel are attacking you and we will act accordingly - pls no general complaints without direct links. Kunle is a gentleman, and I'm sure he will adjust accordingly. Thanks and please don't hesitate to post/complain here at any time. Mods are here for all posters.

Pastor Kun:
@jesoul
Thanx for your courteous rejoinder in the mail you sent me. Whilst I appreciate your response I would like to state that I did not in any way attack the personality of Joagbaje in the thread he complaint about, all I did was to expose him for who he was so that the people he is trying to deceive would know that he is also a beneficiary of the fraud going on in the church as he is fond of passing himself off as just a church member whilst trying to justify scams going on in the church.

Oga kunle, I understand where you're coming from . . . its a very thin and delicate line between 'freedom of expression' vs 'personal attack' and I very much understand that. I do want you to please try to make sure you stay on the former side and let us all respect each other. And also on CEC-related topics opened by Joagbaje and others - if you can allow the topic to go along peacefully, you can certainly open a seperate thread if you wish to criticize it, but they should be able to post their topics in peace without derailment. Thanks ehn, I really appreciate your help.

. . . and oh Joagbaje, once again, your artwork is really really good. I'm very impressed. All the more reason you shouldn't let NL get in the way of sharpening your craft.

Btw, I dey come for my free one very soon. Hope you no forget?

^I will talk to him sir. Its a bit hard to tend to this kind of situation cos he's entitled to his free speech, but not at the cost of personal harrasment/attacks. I'll chat with him. Thanks.

You should feel a bit special though . . . you're among the most famous posters around hence all the 'love' & 'attention' .

Lol. Hilarious@ Frosbel & Joagbaje . . . paintings getting ruined . . . frosbel's kids complaining . . . ROTFLOL . . . you guys are funny. I'm sure its a phase, don't worry you'll get past it . . . hopefully lol. Just log off so you don't get alerts of new replies. I'm usually not online at all (not even email self) over the weekends, was doing some online music practice today which is how I ended up here . You guys should set limits and stick to it before una start to dey crase

Ogajim . . . you are funny . Most american wives complain about their husbands sports watching . . . thankfully my husband & I are both sports junkies - american football, bball, soccer, tennis, track & field etc. As for my Pats, mehn, our offense is now stumbling, if they lose against those damn Jets tomorrow ehn . . . I won't be happy at all  btw, how are our RedSkins doing these days? 

Good for them. Any parent who allows their children to watch the kardashians and other brain-dead tv shows should be put in front of a pepper-gun firing squad with their eyelids taped wide open.

frosbel:
There are still good churches in town.

Prayerfully seek them.

But remember that even in the church you attend, there will always be those are sincere in their love for God and his word. Associate with such people, have small meetings at home or any quiet place. You can even go out for a meal and share the word of God and pray together.

Remember fellowship =growth , lack of fellowship= death.

God bless you and help you in your search.

Frosbel's advice is 100% on point.

Gaggi:
Many thanks to frosbel. The thing is can't i seek and commune with God by myself? I don't believe God loves others more than me. If he can touch others directly then he can touch me too.

Yes you absolutely can - however this must not be confused with fellowship & communion with other brethren which is also very important.

You seek God and His knowledge on your own - you fellowship & commune with other believers to ¹strengthen your faith & keep you accountable, ²serve them in their spiritual & physical needs, ³use your spiritual gifts among them to the glory of God & edification of the brethren. It must not be a 'structured' church, you can also find a solid group of strong, mature believers and plant yourself firmly amongst them. You need to be part of a 'church' - which is simply defined as a group of believers - working to build one another and glorify God with their lives.

I wish you well brother.

^then I guess my husband & I sin every single sunday morning .

After praise/worship, our church usually gives about 5 mins for folks to go round and greet/welcome each other - hugs, handshakes etc. We have this routine (since when we were even dating self) where we always kiss each other "hello" first and then go and greet others.

I would say each one should do what is within the realm of what is 'appropriate' for their church. Some places/cultures/countries may frown on this but its really no biggie where I'm at. Simple "lip stamp" - not 'frenching' that is obviously inappropriate.

---

Michelin how body now? long time girl. Hope all has been well with you.

This Sagamite of a guy lol.

Oga your stories are well heard. I can equally narrate experiences of terrible behavior by african men towards women. As a culture we are rude to people - and it goes for both genders. I think all Maclatunji is simply saying is to be the better & bigger person.

Lol@ Sisikill's story. Says it all. I remember being at a naija wedding and my husband noticed this and asked me if it was a common thing. I really don't understand standing to the side and watching the women doing all the work - and that's supposed to be manly?

@Outstrip, not suprised at all by your story. It just isn't something nigerians put value on.

@Sagamite, I believe your position is a cop out sir. If others are operating on level 1, it shouldn't hinder you from operating on level 10. Some women may not be worthy of being treated with respect - but I come from a school of thought that encourages to do so anyways especially when its a stranger, and you never know who you might help and what it might lead to. Its always best to approach everyone equally, until they prove themselves not worthy of your time or respect.

Why would a husband & father merely stand to the side and watch as his wife and kids labor & slug around luggages? He probably does not think anything of it is my guess.

Once I was slugging some heavy luggage from an apartment building to the car for a sick friend who was travelling. As I brought out luggage after luggage stacking into the car, there were 3 african men standing beside a car nearby just chatting and laughing and looking at me as I kept going in & out. On the 3rd luggage, a postal truck pulls up, the worker gets out to drop off the packages. As soon as he saw me he walks right over and offers to give me a hand with the bags and he helps me with the rest.

  I honestly think a lot of (obviously not all) men of african descent just do not think much about things like these . . . at least from what I've seen.

My church did our version of "The Biggest Loser" . . . the show were contestants battle to see who can lose the most weight. A fantastic idea with the goal to not only help members live healthier but also raise funds for a missions trip. Mehn see 100s of pounds that were lost and the before/after pictures on display during sunday morning service lol. I didn't even recognize the deacon self, the pot belly that he lost ehn  at least twins 

I love my local church - pentecostal by the way.

The pastors live on the campus - so everyone can see how they live and what they drive and how they carry themselves. Once a year, there is a business meeting where all the church financials are laid bare for everyone to see how the funds are being spent - including how much the staff are being paid in salary. There is complete and total transparency. The church also does a lot of good things in the community - no need to mention, the Lord Himself knows.

There is an established board of leadership - deacons and elders who are leaders within the church. Church elections are held every year to re-elect new deacons/trustees etc . . so the leaders are chosen by the church - not by the richest or most influential.

One thing I really love about the head pastor, he's so honest & humble. He's tells the entire church if someone comes to him with a complaint - or even to rebuke him! He apologizes when its necessary and rebukes others when they're at fault. He's direct and honest with the messages but yet sensitive enough to show mercy & compassion when it is needed. And he's down to earth enough to play pick-up basketball with my husband & other younger people in the church lol. Now a man of God like this I respect 1000% and will do my part to pray for him and support him in his ministry & family.

Thread unlocked. Hopefully 3 days was enough time to let ya'll cool down.

Any stubborn posters who insist on insulting & abusing others, partaking in any behavior that is against forum rules will be banned.

Now play nice with one another . . . cheers.

Someone should've told Jesus to respect the religious leaders of his time.

Imagine Him calling them names like brood of vipers, white-washed tombs, foolish men, blind guides etc etc . . . talk about disrespectful.

@knowjack, if you can spare just a moment, read the story of this couple who almost divorced and now serve as marriage counsellors. I have learned a great measure from their stories & teachings. There is a section dealing with issues identical to what you're going through.

http://marriagetoday.com/   
About MarriageToday:
No marriage is hopeless. That’s our foundational belief at MarriageToday, and we’ve seen it proven year after year as husbands and wives discover restoration for their troubled marriages. In fact, our founders, Jimmy and Karen Evans, have experienced this life-changing renewal firsthand. The early years of their own marriage were marked with conflict, resentment, and disappointment. Today, 35 years later, they share the principles that pulled them back from the brink of divorce and helped their marriage thrive.

I wish you the best brother.

^on the contrary my friend . . .

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/11/gop_voters_mostly_shrug_at_her.html

GOP Voters Mostly Shrug at Herman Cain Scandal 11/4/11

A new Washington Post/ABC News poll out this morning (and conducted in the wake of the intimate harassment accusations lobbied against Herman Cain) shows him virtually tied with Mitt Romney, at 23 percent of voters to Romney's 24 percent. He's gained significant ground on Romney since the last poll, in fact. Rick Perry's advisers are almost certainly huddled up right now wondering if they can dredge up any old intimate-harrasment suits for a quick little poll bump.

and I also heard last night he has actually seen a bump in fundraising - by more than half a million since the allegations came up. Rasmussen polls I believe have Cain ahead of Romney as of yesterday. The polls & fundraising are telling us that so far, voters do not care.

  People are truly underestimating how much voters dislike Romney & the rest. Short of devastatingly raw details of the allegations coming to light - proving he is guilty, it so far does not look like uncle Herman is going anywhere.

^hmm, I haven't heard of that before. Sit tight. I'll shoot a message to the admin . . .

did you try to follow the instructions?

I asked very nicely and they didn't listen.

So thread locked until further notice.

Nice discussion fellas. And also nice gentlemen, able to discuss with mutual respect and offer an apology should the need arise - a rare thing on NL. Kudos. A lot of this really comes down to ones personal experiences. What you've been opportuned to see vs not see. 

P_NL, do you personally believe in the supernatural? just curious.

Split_N, do you think that some occurences attributed to the supernatural may have perfectly logical explanations?

---

I watched a documentary once on the Discovery Channel (i think) about Voodoo in Haiti. They captured some pretty incredible footage of people walking on hot coals, handling deadly snakes, eating metal objects, some contorting their bodies in very deformed positions etc etc stuff like that. They concluded by saying none of the events could be verified. I was certain some of it was BS, others were a little more tricky to write off as trickery.

My point. I believe there are things that I do not know, and cannot explain. Such that even as I am a scientist myself, I try not to write off any possibilities - especially if I wasn't there myself.

^lol, touché.

I'm around, you know this section gets very busy. I've seen some of your fingerprints in the movie section . . . that place has been dead but looks like its starting to liven up a bit these days. Open some nice threads and I'll join you over there .

Hope everything else is fine with you and the family over in lovely France

^see! I knew he was cool guy. Thanks Muskeeto.

ogajim:
I thank God I have not stooped to the name calling level or the "try to annoy"
philosophy espoused by coogar all over this thread.

Common now Ogajim, you did liken Coogar as intellectually less than a lagos cockroach . . . slip of fingers right? 

ogajim:
@JeSoul, what happened to the Pats in Pittsburg last Sunday? I know my "skins" ain't going nowhere but Brady and the Pats?

In my Keyshawn voice "come on man'!

Lol. We're into a bit of charity this season . . . you haven't heard? We've beaten up on Pittsburgh so much recently that we decided to give them one at home for a change. Should we meet in the playoffs we shall return to the usual manhandling in other news, our defense needs some shoring up. In the event Brady is unable to score us into victory, they haven't been able to hold the opponent down. They'll get better though . . . and about your skins' . . . .sorry dude 

^Ogaga my brother I'm fine dear - by God's grace . How have you been? you sef have not been around .

*Happens to stroll into the thread*

My my . . . Coogar, Ogajim & Muskeeto, my fellow esteemed Nlders,

I'm quite certain you are all incredibly lovely people, and to that effect I'll count this as slips of otherwise gentle fingers. Please continue on cordially and leave out the yabs, insults and references to mothers . . . Or I'll have to unfortunately lock this very entertaining thread to give you lovely folks the chance to cool off ehn. Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

benodic:
@ ascony

congratulations on the wonderful step you have taken. What makes me very happy is your decision to keep an open mind. It is a very important ingredient in spiritual growth.
Bear one thing in mind, God always reveals itself to those who ask with a sincere heart and of course God does not belong to any religion.
I wish you luck in all your endeavours.

A most excellent comment. I don't believe a person can go wrong if they are open, sincere, honest and even child-like in their approach to spiritual matters. An open mind is fertile ground where the seeds of wisdom can flourish. And as a famous saying goes "one can only learn, when he gives up the illusion that he already knows"

  I also like the last part of your comment "God does not belong to any religion" . . .  very well said.

Poster, you main problem is your attitude - especially towards your parents.

As Outstrip said you should'nt see yourself as 'entitled' to anything that belongs to them. It is their money to spend as they see fit. You yourself fessed up - you don't do anything around the house, how do you expect them to respond to that? obviously not positively. You're in their house so you must live by their rules and respect them. If they say 6pm curfew, you say I'll be home by 5:30pm. If they ask you to wash the dishes, go ahead and clean the entire kitchen. Before your father leaves in the morning ask him "oh daddy, is there anything you want me to do for you today?" Go the extra mile and win their respect for you. Nobody respects a lazy freeloader who doesn't earn his keep. You must first work hard on restoring your relationship with your parents - then everything else will fall into place.


Secondly, don't be so down on yourself. So you're not where you thought you would be in life - join the club. You must make the best out of the situation you find yourself. Stop thinking about going out and having fun - your priorities should be aligned in a much more productive direction. Look around and find whatever kind of job you can just to keep yourself busy, even if its on a volunteer basis and slowly start to show your parents that you're not a spoiled brat waiting for their handouts. Finally look around, there are many people in worse situations with no parents to provide for them, no roof over their heads. Count your blessings and appreciate what you have.

So cheer up. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get to work. And by God's grace all will be well with you.

Chicago is a big city dude.

Where is the conference located? A quick proximity search using expedia or hotels.com should give you good idea on what is good around where you'll be attending your conference.

I'm sure every car owner has experienced it.
Few months ago I decided to try out a new shop that was much closer to my workplace than my regular mechanic. I could easily walk there and pick/drop off. The shop is part of a national chain - Monro Muffler Brake & Service. I have no qualms mentioning their name because even after writing their corporate office with a complaint they didn't bother to even respond. So I've taken my reviews/complaints to several consumer websites and posted for other customers to stay away from those crooks. Me I don't joke with stuff like this. I always make sure to lodge formal complaints especially of eggregious offences.


Anyways long story short. I originally took my car there cos I suspected some problems with the belts, during the course I was told that my rear brakes also needed to be changed. They call me later with the quote, a grand total of $867 just to fix rear brakes (rotor, calipers & pads) and they even had the nerve to tell me I was getting a discount of $194. Meaning the total was $1061. My people, please join me and laugh.


This is not my first car or the first time I've fixed brakes so I knew right off that this was a terrible attempt at ripping off who they thought was a clueless customer - they thought very wrong. Maybe if I were driving an aston martin. I took my car back to my regular mechanic and he fixed it for a total of $280. Yes just $280 compared to $1061. If you live in the US, please do not take your car to any Monro outlets. They never replied my complaint which tells me its probably a culture of scamming people at that company. I thoroughly HATE merchants who try to rip innocent people off.

This thread is hilarious ROTFLOL . . .

Ascony:
i was born a christian, i became an atheist since 2006 when doubts about the existence of God began to creep in, now after years of atheism and deep thoughts i can confidently say that i believe that there is a God now.
i dnt really know to explain it but it happened in a twinkle of an eye, God may not be a big white male with overflowing bears sitting on a throne in the sky, but God surely exists, he lives in every one of us, he is everywhere, he is everything, he is the "source code" for creating the universe, he is that energy from which everything emanated,
the mistake that atheists make is trying to personify God, "why did he do this and that? why is he even called a HE and bla bla bla"", but we fail to realise that God cannot be put in a box, how can we tell him how to run his own world, life is exactly how God wants it to be whether good or bad, we should realise that it could have been worse you know. God is not man, God is not a thing, God is everything! There is so much i wanna say but let me stop here for now,

FYI; as of the moment, i dont call myself a christian, i call myself a believer, God is bigger than religion
Goodday!!!

Ascony, What made you change your mind?