₦airaland Forum

^I don't like the fact he's giving conflicting accounts of the events. I somehow don't think he's trying to lie per se, but chuck that up to his media inexperience and sometimes flippant attitude. I'm sure we'll have more info in a little while . . . like montelik said, its open season now

Haribo:
You are right, I had some misconceptions about lasik myself. I thought If I did it it would be a one step fix for my eyes forever and ever. But my doctor said there's no guarantee that my vision won't change as I grow older. I figure instead of getting the surgery done now and potentially still having my sight degenerate, I'd rather wait till I'm older and get it then. Not sure if it's the best option, but we'll see. Oh, and I'm not in Naija, if that means anything.

True. Infact I think it is guaranteed that your vision will change as you get older - just like everyone else. The surgery is getting cheaper, more accessible and more sophisticated by the year. Before, the rehab time was weeks, now its just a day and the machines are def much better so there are def advantages to waiting. I asked about naija cos I've heard of some not so good advice docs have given patients and also if you can go online and check the reviews/reputation of the doc you're seeing for better confidence.

As for contacts, they just gross me out!

Lol. Common now sis, its not that bad. Try it and you'll never go back to regular glasses

Siena:
For those that are short-sighted, yet choose not to wear their glasses or corrective lenses, do you guys drive? And do you drive without your glasses? Because if you're short-sighted, you definitely shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car without 20/20 vision!

It also depends on how bad your eyes are. If its just a level or two, its okay for most people to drive.

Hmm . . . it seems there are some misconceptions about wearing contacts.

No one is a 'pro' when they first start wearing them. It does take some getting used to placing it on your eyes. Yes your natural reflex will make you shy away from putting it on your eyes at first but trust me, within week or two, you will be just fine. After so many years I can practically put them on/take them off without even blinking.

Haribo:
I've been wearing glasses for the past 20 years. Yep!! 20 fricken years. I lived through being called 4 eyes and coke bottle eyes from a very young age. I have to admit it was hard sometimes   But I'm fine now. I still wear glasses and my vision still sucks, but at least now I wear glasses with cute frames and people think I look cool and smart in them (I AM cool and smart). Not to mention now that I'm all grown up I have strong arms and I can slap anyone that calls me four eyes! I dare anyone to try it  

Oh, I have astigmatism in both eyes and I'm myopic (in the medical sense only). Sounds cool right? Not really.

I talked to my doctor last week about laser surgery and he said it's no guarantee that my eyes will get better in the future, so I dropped the issue for now. I'll keep researching it though. Maybe I'll get it done a few years from now.

I tried looking into contacts but I blink 500 times a second whenever anything gets close to my eyes. I can't even put in eye drops cos I blink so much. My doctor said I should just give up! I don't mind though. Contacts are a bit disgusting to me.

Hmm . . . I am not an optician, but I would like to challenge your doctor. Are you in Naija?

 First of all, everybody's eyes gets worse as they age, that is standard. Your eyes do not "get better in the future" with laser surgery, it corrects your eyesight now - and over time it will lose 'power' just like everybody elses' due to the natural aging process. You must understand that many opticians/doctors will discourage or 'not encourage' patients to go for lasik because it will negatively affect them! their business. If you can afford it, and medically your eyes are up to it, it is the best option and cheapest in the long run.

And your doctor also asking you to 'give up' just because you were nervous about trying contacts for the first time?    who wasn't nervous the first time? It took me almost 20mins just to put one one the first time.

Wonderful pix Vicjustice.

Most people who look at pictures are looking at mostly inconsequential novelties such as the suit, the flowers, the horse etc etc . . . I see love and happiness in the faces of you, your wife, your son and your in-laws - that is all that matters. Congrats on a beautiful family. I wish you all the very best in life.

^Lol. Good for China.

Europe should get its own act together and clean up their own mess. China did not help them spend themselves into debt, so why should China help them get out? Europe & America need to cut their spending levels drastically and begin addressing the massive debts. If they keep getting bailed out they will not learn their lesson. Good for China jare.

These Chinese self . . . see as they're getting too much swagger. lol.

[quote author=Tayo-D link=topic=789683.msg9453321#msg9453321 date=1320080569]@JeSoul,
Why then do people like Bobby Jindal continue to win election in landslides even though they run in historically liberal area? What win over independents is not in showing them how we are not much different than liberals. Why should they go for liberal-lite when they can get the real thing?[/quote]Hehe . . . where is Prez-elect? 

This Bobby Jindal self . . . wasn't it he who gave some speech/state of the union or something like that rebuttal a while back? the guy put me to sleep in a few minutes  they should learn to use their national air-time wisely so people like me that don't see him often can be impressed in the short time. And your philosophy . . . it is not 100% proof oh. Come to Mass . . . Scott Brown seems to be a one-off event, even when the entire nation was reverting rightwing, Mass stayed completely Blue. Me self I tire for this place.

Romney can never win over enough liberals or independents to offset the votes he will lose from conservatives. McCain and Bush 41 have proven that.

If he gets the nod, he will be counting on enough conservs to dislike Obama enough to "hold their noses in the booths" 

dayokanu:

During Herman Cain’s tenure as the head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s, at least two female employees complained to colleagues and senior association officials about inappropriate behavior by Cain, ultimately leaving their jobs at the trade group, multiple sources confirm to POLITICO

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1011/67194.html

^and the rats will all start coming out one by one now Uncle Hermy is making some waves. It is now they're "coming out" with their story abi? next jor 

[quote author=Tayo-D link=topic=789683.msg9453229#msg9453229 date=1320079912]@JeSoul,
What do you mean by an Independent Conservative? Being conservative already asserts your independence. Like I said earlier though, most independents in the US are conservative leaning.[/quote]Lol Na you talk am jare.

How then can one jump to the conslusion that they will break towards the socialist in the WH when they have the option to choose a conservative?

Lol. One man's socialist is another man's savior now . . . 52% of the country didn't think Obama was a socy . . . many have changed their minds - and some because he wasn't socialist enough! lol.

I agree. I was expecting more from Perry but all I got was a let down.

Honestly. With all the good things we heard he'd done down in Texas. I think in addition to his poor showings, the media has also played him in a negative light, definitely adding to the anti- sentiment.

Are you surprised that a RINO is rooting for another one? How esle will you explain his poiton? Same guy rooted for McCain in 2008 didn't he?

Lol, this is why I love TayoD   . True.  

I am more inclined to vote him too. However, I think the most solid person in that field is Newt Gingrich, and I have no dobt h has the ability, knowledge and the courage to humiliate our child-president in a debate.

Gingrich hasn't got much airtime - because he hasn't raised enough money and respect - or is it the other way round? Most people who participate in primaries/polls should know enough about him but he does not seem to be able to register on any significant radars.

[quote author=Tayo-D link=topic=789683.msg9453284#msg9453284 date=1320080315]@JeSoul,
No doubt the climate played a part. However, the addition of a conservative to his ticket boosted him a great deal. The bottom line about McCain is that he is a RINO and that dampens the Republican base.[/quote]GBAM left right and center. I can say for a fact, I was excited to vote for Palin - not McCain and that was the way I approached it. Infact I wasn't all that interested until she came on board and lit a fire that is still raging.

What appeals to independents is the strength of your conviction. What do the independents stand for anyway? You appeal to people's reason by convincing them that what you stand for is what will benefit them. Reagan didn't go around drumming down his conservatism. He articulated them well and people realised the guy was verbalising what they feel inherently. Prior to Reagan, anyone will get away with saying: ask not what you can do for your country but what your country can do for you. REagan changed that mentality and won the election not by going the Colin Powel middle ground way by saying people do not care for the size of the govt but whether the govt works for them (my paraphrase).

This I agree with 10000000%.

On NJ Gov Chris Christie . . . I had heard tons (and seen a little) about him and how he's not a true republican/conservative - and one can sort of expect that for a rightwing politician in a liberal state like NJ or MA. But that press conference he gave to announce he was not running is an example I can point to - of one who is strong in their conviction. He commands attention and tells it like it is, whether or not you agree with him, you can see he believes what he's say and won't BS you with politically correct answers.

 ^this is what I want to see in a leader, strong and unrelenting. Able to take and dish a punch. Part of why I've been impressed with Herman Cain. He's been very direct and upfront - I'll take that over a polished empty suit who's simply reciting the words to the part. Which is why in a few election cycles - I will be here campaigning heavily for future president Scott Brown

[quote author=::Andrew:: link=topic=752656.msg9453169#msg9453169 date=1320079392]me too oo, its so boring [/quote]Lol. I was excited too when I first got them at 12yrs old so I don't blame many ppl here. But I wish so hard with all my heart that someone told me what I know now or that my optician wasn't so cavalier about increasing the power year after year. Knowledge is power, I hope people will hear and hear well.

Lol. I wish I could be as excited as some of you are about wearing glasses. And sorry to be a bit of a downer but I wish someone had told me this years ago -

As veteran eye glass wearer, let me offer some advice for new-wearers -
1- If the strength of your glasses are low, restrict your use to only when you need them. Reason below- 
2- Do not upgrade the strength of your glasses year after year. Your optician will most likely suggest it or even insist it, but do your best not to. Wearing glasses has both a corrective - and detrimental effect on your eyes, in other words, the more you wear them, the more you'll need them because the worse your eyes will get. When it becomes more of a handicap than a fashion accessory, and you can't wake up and see the alarm clock without squiting your eyes, I'm sure many will feel differently. lol.

I currently use contacts and will never go back to frames, its just so much more convenient. But there are pitfalls to using contacts. Take care of them well, use the proper solution to soak, change them when they've expired. When used correctly they can be great, used incorrectly and can result in a host of problems.

Someone mentioned Lasik - fantastic procedure that is done in just minutes with the latest laser equipment. A bit pricey and if not done at a reputable doctor can end in disaster and loss of sight. However, if you don't do your homework and avoid ^things above, you'll be so far gone with your eyes that you won't even qualify for Lasik. There is a cut off Lasik candidates - that is your vision cannot be worse than -7 (i think). Thankfully, there are options for non-lasik candidates.

[quote author=Tayo-D link=topic=789683.msg9451246#msg9451246 date=1320063651]@JeSoul,

I see you have fallen for the same propaganda that the Leftists media are spewing.  How can anyone say that Romney, an Obama-Lite, is the clear alternative to Obama?  Independents are fleeing Obama for a reason and I can't figure out how anyone can say the hope for the RNC is to offer a candidate who offers no clear contrast to Obama.[/quote]Leftwing media ke? Me I dey talk my own preference lol. As an independent conservative I am particularly & thoroughly un-thrilled about Perry & Bachmann. I was even rooting for Perry when he cast his hat into the ring but his showing in the debates including some rather bizarre and strange moments has turned me off. He is not ready for a presidential run. Besides, it is not the left wing media that is calling for Romney's selection, as far as I can see, the republican 'establishment' of Rove and co do want Romney to be the candidate. Abi they self are buying MSNBC's spin? 

The only republican candidate I would be excited about voting for is Uncle Herman Cain.

If we follow your logic about independents, then McCain would have being president today.  The only time it appeared that McCain was gonna win was when he chose a conservative as his running mate.  Everything you've said here about Bachmann and co was repeated in higher decibels when Reagan was running for President.  Why didn't the Independents flee Reagan at that time when he was unashamedly conservative?

Not exactly. McCain was thoroughly unable to rile up the base and get enough people excited - I blame that on his personality first. Furthermore there is almost always a changeover in parties after 8 years - so McCain was a long shot to begin with. Add his lack luster self, a young fresh Obama and the result is what we got. 

Bush 41, became President riding on the back of a real conservative, Reagan.  He lost the preseidency when he moved big time to the center.  Histroy tells us repeatedly, the only thing that wins the White House for the RNC is conservatism because 60% or more of americans see themselves as conservative, or conservative-leaning.  Calling for a so-called moderate is to repeat the mistake and failure exemplified by McCain.

The argument isn't even so much as calling for a 'moderate' per se. But rather someone that can appeal to independents. Herman Cain is as right as the others, yet his popularity across the board is very healthy. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I haven't seen any polling or analysis to suggest that any other group - other than the right conservatives - like Bachmann & Perry.

I didn’t vote in the last election.  I couldn’t get myself to vote for McCain.  Granted, I will likely hold my nose and vote for Romney if he were the nominee, but I doubt many other conservatives will.  The best way to dampen the conservative fire right now is to choose a RINO as the Republican candidate.  Makes you understand why the media is so keen to have Romney as the Republican nominee - that's a winning strategy for Obama.

Unless of course they have no other viable option - and 'conservatives' cannot win a general election by themselves. They need independents and small pockets of upset liberals. Like I mentioned before, I don't like Romney. They guy is an actor and will play whatever part necessary to get elected. Unfortunately, I have no better words for Perry or Bachmann.

Uncle Herman is my guy right now 

dayokanu:
The economic frustration of many Americans might be visited on the president.

Some just want anyone but Obama Thats the tea party which makes a large number of the GOP

As well it should. The buck stops with him, whether things are good or bad, he is the one we should look to to praise or blame. He made many lofty promises that he has failed to live up to. In any properly functioning democracy the voters must hold the leader accountable lest they become complacent and take the people that put him there for granted.

Anyways, I saw a quote few weeks ago that is now one of my top 10 quotes of all time:

"Diapers & Politicians Should Be Changed Often, Both For The Same Reason"  I learned Mark Twain was responsible for the original quote.

[quote author=Tayo-D link=topic=789683.msg9419518#msg9419518 date=1319596384]And yes, any one of those aspirants will beat Obama hands down![/quote]Erhm Uncle Tayo, you sure so?

In a general election I certainly do not see Perry, Bachmann or Cain winning over Obama - as wounded as he is. Especially the first two. They will be a darn near impossible sell to Independents and I for one am not impressed by them. Cain is a bit different because he's not a part of the 'establishment' and voters always like that. If its Cain vs Obama, I can see uncle Herman gathering enough steam through his popularity to make it very interesting - more than Perry or Bachmann ever could.

Romney will be the nominee - as unfortunate as that is. He is the one with the best chance to beat Obama and republicans will not want to take a chance and play chess or is it poker? I know a sizeable portion of the right wing (like urself) do not like Romney - but guess what - they dislike Obama by 1000times more. They (tea partiers mostly) may not be flashing as big and as an enthusiastic a smile while they're in the polling booth -

but they will still go and cast the ballot for the republican candidate.

Good business strategy.

[quote author=Negro_Ntns link=topic=785382.msg9439135#msg9439135 date=1319831749]Ooops!! U know what, I forgot.

Negro makes the sign of the Cross - Our Father who art in Heaven, forgive me as I forgive that Karmamod with razor sharp tongue.[/quote]Oya to complete your restitution - 10 mama puts, 21 hajiyas, 5 alhajis and one large ice-cream cake. Round it off with some pepto-bismol. Go and sin no more.

JeSoul dear, they killed my brother in Libya, I have been mourning.

Common now my negro friend, libyan 'brothers' are a dime a dozen. Don't worry, cut off the head and 1000 more medusas will grow in its place. You won't be brotherless for too long . . .

Bluemagic & Endmoll,
Lol. Nobody send you guys at all . Tks for the contributions.

@ mimi234

If you haven't been to the Nigerian Embassy in London - You haven't seen anything.

Just to enter the building is where the problem begins - Me and my mum got there at 8:10am approx you had to see the amount of people blocking the entrance, even the two security guards were overwhelmed lolol. Then he (the security guard) shouts "If your print out does not have 'payment confirmed' on it you can not enter this building" bearing in mind we are still outside on the streets lol in Westminster even the builders nearby couldn't comprehend what was going.

My mum being my mum made her way to the front and ensured we got in - this was about 9.30am-ish. To my surprise the room is also very small - we were renewing our passports so we had to get our number and wait. I felt i was in a choir rehearsal the amount of different noises you hear is funny lol. Then sum man tried to jump in front of us just because we didn't hear the woman call our number. We were 36 but when my mum hear "number 37" you had to see how my mum jumped to the front (usain bolt has nothing on my mum lol). But that part was just to check we paid online and our postal order (kmt lolol). Then we had to go back and sit down again. Someone took our seats (u trust my mum) we got our seats back o!!
After that ordeal i didn't follow my mum to o collect the passports - i stayed home thank u very much looooooool

Lol. I salute our parents for real. That is the naija training for you. Always ready to adjust to whatever the situation demands

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davidylan:
JeSoul, if i get your right . . . i can actually go there to renew my passport without prior payment or booking an interview date online? Please respond asap because this renewing passport thingy has been a big thorn in my side for months now.

I think one of the guys at the reception is a hausa mugu who looks like he wouldnt want to be at work if given the chance.

That is a big fat NO David. You absolutely must make the payment online prior to coming and print out the payment confirmation. I was told that the 'interview date' is more of a ceremonial thing. Once your payment is confirmed, then you can pretty much head down there - along with another $25 money order for 'processing fee'. Ask me why they don't lump the payment together and I'll tell you to stop applying logic

@Haribo

LMAO at this entire thread,
Late last year I took a day off work and travelled all the way to NYC for my appointment to get my new passport. I got there only for the guy at the reception to tell me they were CLOSED. See me see wahala. I thought I was going to just go crazy and start killing people there and then. After THEY GAVE ME APPOINTMENT DATE and made me waste my precious vacation time to travel there, they were closed? Who does that? Really??

After closing my eyes and counting to 10 to regain sanity, I remembered that on the website, it stated that the embassy sends staff to different states at different times in the year to process passports for Nigerians living far away from NY, the website said they usually come to Boston in March. So I asked the guy to help me confirm when they would be coming round my way. After laughing at me the guy was like who told you that? These people haven't finished managing their scheduling for appointment and you want them to travel to your state? I don't know if he was lying or clueless, but at that point I lost all my energy so I just walked out and went to find somewhere to cool down before heading back home.

I'll cut the long story short. I actually ended up getting my new passport early this year, after much stress at the embassy. I have to say that place is an embarrassment. The staff is disorganised, the place is dirty, many of the lights aren't working, and it smells funny overall. To top it off, I'm sure someone already mentioned it, but there is a 'mama put' style buka RIGHT IN THE EMBASSY. Yes. You go in there, order your eba and egusi, and then WASH YOUR HANDS INTO A BUCKET before digging into your meal. I mean, it's already weird that they are selling moin moin and what not inside an embassy, but try and make it look clean at least. Is that too much to ask??

SMH @ the whole situation. I am a proud Naija girl and I wave my passport proudly wherever I go (except for right after Muttallab did his thing, I had to lay low at that time), but I won't lie, that embassy is an eyesore. We can do better.

Oh, and one more thing, it seems like no matter what time you call, no one ever picks up, and the mailbox is always full. WTH? Cry the beloved country,

LOL   Imagine driving hrs across CT, enduring that yeye NY traffic, paying exorbitant tolls and parking, only to be told "we're closed"   

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A nice thread I must say and it seems one should expect different things at both the Consulates @ Georgia and New York.
    @ Jesoul and Haribo,
      pls do you stay in Boston or near Canton? I need to get an important info. Pls hit me up at  select500@yahoo.com    thnks.

I'm just a bit west of Boston. Need help with something? Pls copy quick so I can remove before those yahoo boys start sending me $1,000,000 mails.

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The poster of this thread is a concerned Nigerian and I commend you. I lived in Manhattan NYC couple of blocks from the Nigerian Embassy for over 3yrs. It's really embarrassing and bad for the Country's image in NYC. Everything the poster has is true of the staff and structure of that embassy. You would think u r in Nigeria cos of the attitude of the staff there. You just got to overlook everything and get what you want and leave.

Tank God plenty people don corroborate my story. lol. I felt really bad thinking off a non-nigerian walking off the street to the embassy hoping to get some help or information on visiting only to meet the mess over there.

Phew, just read thru all the comments . . . sorry I 'abandoned' the thread for a bit, been terribly busy.
Anyways to all those found it entertaining and humorous . . . gongo aso, Lax, striker, my sis armyofone and many others . . . I am glad to be able to make you smile a bit  missions accomplished.

To those who didn't find it funny, that's okay. I still can't find any reputable movie critics both off & on NL to agree with me that Norbit is one of the funniest comedies ever  Different strokes for different folks.

The only part I find unfortunate are those upset at the story or criticism of Nigeria - now that is really unfortunate. In the proud exercise of loving your country, one must never be blinded under the mistaken impression that criticism is at odds with patriotism . . . infact criticism is a strong pillar of patriotism - especially when it is the truth being spoken. As messed up as Naija is, I will always have that soft spot. And as Vescucci said, I do not mess around with my egusi soup. Nuff said.

Kai In-Law lol. Where did you dig up this gem of a thread from? Lol.

ThiefOfHearts:
Do you blame me for abadoning this place? LOL. All these people are mentally stunted, how a m I still arguing the same issues that I did in 2006/2007.
I missed you and Sisikill however

Lol. They are what makes the place fun. Log on and laugh. But really, its nice to see you around, that raw, undiluted, razor sharp Karma . . . ah! now that I have missed

[size=4pt]wasnt there o. you come to the city often? let's meet![/size]

Not there often jare. Just had some quick business, I was in & out. Dunno how you guys do it . . . the hustle and bustle and rude obnoxious people, complete with overpriced everything everywhere gets on my nerve in minutes lol.

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[quote author=Negro_Ntns link=topic=785382.msg9391811#msg9391811 date=1319228275]On a different topic, I didnt know the two of you are sisters. The two of you paired with this Negro is a completion. [/quote]Lol. Still a bad boy even in the religion section?

^You may want to re-read NL rules again. Offtopic-ing, derailing, 'spam' and such are against the rules. Nothing Sweetnecta said was related to topic as far as I saw.

Again pls folks, go to the mod thread with any complaints.

^You're welcome dude.

Sweetnecta, please & as always, you can reach me on the mod thread if you have any other comments/complaints. Tanka.

Thread cleaned by me.

As always, sorry to any innocent posts/posters. Please carry on . . .

^Will take care of that in a sec Frosbel.

Also pls remember to include links to the particular threads in the future. Thanks.

^ thank you my broda

Continued . . . Final Part (for now)

The security guy looks at us and says "We're Closed" "What?" is my immediate response showing a bit of that gangster side I mentioned earlier lol. Apparently they close at 1pm - though there are no signs posted anywhere warning of this, again totally my fault for not knowing. After all the hassle and running around. The guy realises we were ready to fight our way in and he lets us go back in.

We re-enter the waiting room that is now half empty. Okro soup smell? check. Crying children? check. Frustrated patrons? double check. The woman at the desk is still there, only now she's smiling a bit. I figured this may have something to do with the sandwich that was in her left hand  , munching away as she continued to call numbers and attend to people. One cannot just help but laugh. She is seated underneath a huge sign that says "NO EATING OR DRINKING" (see picture below)  ha Naija! A sign that I actually respected earlier by not opening my can of san-pellegrino aranciata. I should've known better abi? lol. The man at the desk gets up abruptly and shouts after hissing "DIS IS A COMPLEET WASTE OF TIME" and he slams the door behind him At this point I know the day is unsalvageable, what's left is to have some fun before the long drive back home. My brother makes one last effort to get some more info, and she actually spends a good 2-3 minutes explaining a few things to him. Perhaps she was just hungry all along lol. We find out that getting a visa might actually be easier than trying to get a passport - imagine. A bit disappointed cos I do really want to have my naija passport, still naija no matter what, but with so much hassle to go thru    I head back there in a few days. Make una pray for me oh!

Continued . . .

Papa tunde takes a long look at him with his glasses nearly fallen off his face and then sharply replies . . . "NO!" and the continues typing with one finger.  We'd been up since 4:00am, driven almost 200miles and it was now almost noon. Instead of feeling hungry and tired, it was just so funny you couldn't help but laugh. We learn a FedEx Office is couple blocks down and so we head out. And oh, it is pouring rain and in the 50s. No problem, just adds to the fun. On the website we follow the directions . . . until "your name has to match exactly the name on the credit/debit card being used to pay or be the same last name" . . . big problem for me. I changed my name but not my that on my credit/bank cards, its never been a problem for other transactions cos its the same address and first/middle name. And I could always easily call the bank to approve a transaction. I call hubby. Attempt to use his card but that fails too. I attempt using my old name, result "you have reached the maximum number of attempts allowed on this computer"  oh, you just gotta love this.

My sibbys are having no luck either. For one reason or another, the website was just not working (like that lady had complained earlier). An hour and $50 in fees later we give up and head back to the embassy, hoping the lady is in a better mood. We enter the door, the security guy looks at us and says "We're Closed" . . . 

To Be Continued

justwise:
I can't stop laughing when i read the number bit cos i can picture the whole thing.

^At least one pesin is laughing And it wasn't so much the accent as it was the attitude. That woman no send anybody at all . . . wait till I finish the tori, laugh never reach 50% yet

werepeLeri:
rubbish. i CAN TELL YOU HOW WORSE THE waiting room of the American Embassy in London, Lagos and Abuja is worse than you described.

half baked Nigerians always out to rubbish anything Nigerian. If you dont know the process, should you be worshiped because of that?

Even complaining about the frame of a picture. LOL. You are simply displaying your Nigerianess. Period.

Abeg.

Lol, what you vexing you now? That I tell about the smallest of nuances such as a picture frame to give a 'feel' for the story? Abeg waka go jor  Which one is it? am I 'displaying my nigerianess' or am I a half-baked nigerian? abeg pick wan jor 

justwise:
"ZERO WAN" ZERO TU" "ZERO TREE" and then she switches from 'zero' to 'o' - "OH FIFE, OH SIX" .

I was just holding my laughter because I knew our day was in her hands oh 

Before I can get back to my seat, a lady approaches me - probably thinking since I fixed the machine I know what I'm doing or how things work around here - "excuse me sister, do you know how the online form works?" "Sorry, I have no idea, didn't you ask the lady at the desk?" she replied with a hiss "she just handed this paper to me and told me to go, I have tried to do it online and the website is not working, I'm so frustrated right now I don't know what to do" . . . I reply "I'm so sorry I wish I could help, but this is the embassy, they should be able to help with things like that, did you ask the 2 men in front?" "Yes, they simply sent me back in here, and this woman is not even answering any questions she just told me to go and do it online" . . . I'm feeling her pain "Try to speak to her again and try to be more forceful, maybe that'll help, goodluck" as I return to my seat and siblings. My eye briefly flashes on the picture of President Goodluck Jonathan on the I-haven't-been-painted-in-a-few-years wall in a very cheap a** looking frame, the wooden side was actually falling off . . . goodluck indeed. Unknown to me, I would be in the exact same position this lady was in just a short minute.


  "NUMBER FORTEEN" "FIFTEEN" "SIXTEEN"  . . . My older brother already stood up at 14 ready for his number at 16 . He got up there, and she took one look, and handed him a paper and told him to go "You have to do it online" "There is a business center across the street" After some questioning my brother finally replies "okay, thank you ma. What's the name of the place" she tiredly retorts "I duno, ask the men in front". Let me pause here. It was totally our fault that we did not do the payment online before going. I didn't trust the website and I figured, hey, its an embassy, this is what they do there. If I go to the bank to do a transaction, they won't send me back home to do it online. If I go to the post office to mail a pkg, they won't send me back home to do it online. Unfortunately, I forgot one has to stop applying logic whenever it comes to anything Nigerian - so abeg make una no vex for me.

  Over to the business center. There's one computer and papa tunde (as I fondly called him) with his glasses half beneath his eyes is on it. He is leaning back as if he's on a couch and his hand is resting on his pot belly as he is typing with one finger on the keyboard - Naija! LOL . . . There are a bunch of other Nigerians in there all with different problems. This particular old lady was so frustrated. The poor store owner - an incredibly NICE indian guy took his time to explain to her and look over her documentation and money order. Infact once he was done explaining to her and us the process, we looked at him and said "wow sir, you should be the one working at the embassy, you gave us more information about the process than the people over there". 20mins later, my brother is tired of waiting, he walks over to papa tunde and says in a very gentle, respectful voice "Excuse me sir, do you need any help? Can I assist you?" Papa tunde take a long look at him with his glasses nearly fallen off his face and then sharply replies  . . .

To Be Continued 

[img]http://3.bp..com/_1ulbIaC85vo/TOa9jDnZpYI/AAAAAAAABK8/YuYvCFlaZhM/s1600/embassy.jpg[/img] 
^got that picture online. Have 2 of my own I'll upload later. I'm going to tell the story in parts, apologies for the length but you can blame NLder Vescucci for that

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  So four of us my fathers kids trooped down to NYC from Boston to renew our passports. They had expired 10 lifetimes ago & all of us are completely clueless about the process . As you approach the building, you see the lettering in nice bright silver "Federal Republic Of Nigeria" . . . "that's nice" said my sister "wait until we get inside first" I replied I mean I prophesied. Two security men. One looks completely disinterested, the other stands up and says "Sign your name" "Put your bag here" "Step over here" . . . we obey. Now let me pause and say my siblings & I are total funheads, we laugh and joke and have a good time, especially on a day we get to reconnect with our 'nigerianess'. As you turn the corner from the entrance, a side door to the waiting room. As soon as you open the door, the first thing that hits you is the distinct smell of okro soup   it actually smelt good and made me a bit hungry 


Kai! Naija (a phrase we would repeat at least 100times over the day) Has someone been cooking for 3 days straight that the smell of food has been literally baked into their clothes? Anyways, the size of the room is shockingly small. I mean about the size of my living room at home - and I don't have a big living room at all oh! Out of habit, I look for the nearest fire exit - there's one, but it is on the same side as the entrance and it is blocked by the row of connected chairs - surely this would be a problem in case of an emergency I think to myself. Anyways, everyone is sitting down, there is a small, overcrowded desk with a stack of passports and papers in front with a woman calling out numbers "ZERO WAN" ZERO TU" "ZERO TREE" and then she switches from 'zero' to 'o' - "OH FIFE, OH SIX" . . . lol. She's not even giving a break or pause between numbers to allow the person to come up, so you end up with 2 or 3 people hurrying to the front, both unrelated, both sitting down at the same time. Confusion. I look around . . . where is number dispenser? No one seems to know or care. One little girl finally says to me "its over there, its broken, you have to open it" I smile and say thank you sweetie. I proceed to the front, get to the machine, fiddle with it for a second and finally get it open, reset the paper reel to the top so it works well again and then close the machine back.


  As soon as the spectators see its working again, see as line rushed and formed to take numbers LOL. I take a number, and as I'm trying to take numbers for my 3 other siblings this woman tries to stick her hand in there and take one . . . wahala . . . I figured she thought because she was there before me she ought to take a number before me . . lol . . . don't let this proper appearance fool you oh, I can go gangster on you fast!

Happy Birthday To Our Super Mukina!

Who has the address for the party? 

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