₦airaland Forum

i thank you for your honesty. my brother this is a hard one. marraige in my book is tot a prison sentence. i am a christian and hold marraige seriously. i deliberately did not enter one until 3months ago. i was not ready to be responsible for another person. at least not emotionally responsible enough. i am so glad i waited and God saw me through and helped me with someone who is has been a fab friend so far.

i dont know if you believe in counselling i would say this is counselling time. big one. it is the best money you will ever spend.

i know nigeria is a society people dont dont admit they have problems bigger than them but my dear brother you need to go seek counselling seriously and if you are a christian it is time to sek the Lord big time.

understand that ibo or no ibo. you guys started out being friends and she is somebody daughter. please do everything in your power not to hurt her more than necesary. you will be glad you did. she may not want the seperation but (you )having gone through counselling yourself will know where you stand and with clean and clear mind be able to sort this out.

at the end of counselling you may discover tools to cope and by the time both of you begin to understand one another may work things out better. seperated or together.

there are some few reliable good women here you should listen to too. i hope they see this and come on board soon. be warned you will getthe akward brigade too. just press your ignore botton.

there is no mountain man with His Christ cannot climb and i pray you climb this too

Lord have mercy. this man is a he goat. nawao nigerians and sex. most primary school kids these days are sexually active in naija

plus_Queen:
who knows?
the official civil age is 18 (I mispoke) but customary laws and shariah can also do whatever they want outside of the civil laws.
Nigeria is just a messed up place.
How can a man who calls himself a pastor marry a 14 year old teenager?
are there no grown women in his town?
he needs to be castrated.
Idiot!

http://www.irb-cisr.gc.ca/en/research/rir/?action=record.viewrec&gotorec=434088

sorry about this problem. the question i would ask is since she left have you had girl friends? do you have children by other women? if yes how many kids? answer and lets take it from there

KunleOshob:
@Pilgrim.1
I am not an apostle and i am just

a humble minister of God

sharing the truth about God's word(undiluted) from the scriptures with fellow christians. My calling is to discover and share the true gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ which is no longer being shared in churches today.

wonders shall never end. i like this kind of humility. i am sure you love it very much. true gospel for criticism and dis-unity land.

it is like madness is the new headache now abi? i was shocked to read this stupidity yesterday

My dear there were some details she's given that only males would give.

I have been here in the USA a while,I don't know one single female Nigerian that was a truck driver
I don't know any that worked  in farms milking cows
She's the only female Nigerian I know who has a gun and was on shooting branges learning how to use it.
She knows so many details of "things" only males would know and discuss.
I seriously suspect deepzone is a man

@ sister nwando. you and this your forensic mind. you are definately something else.  you don't by any chance work for the  FBI?.  na God in all His strenght and wisdom go help my brother and his children for that house. you remind me of my grany. you couldnt do anything she cannot calculate or figure out. God deliberately made sure she never saw any classroom it would have been trouble. 

my lovely auntie is cleverer than most people here give her credit for.  she easily carry this her aggressive and combating audience along for days and never cave in even under the relentless assault she comes under most of time. it takes great strenght for a young lady that she is.  i do hold her in my prayers that she will be able to do something good with the strenght and zeall she has been given.  she is an activist for a cause. i pray she finds the cause  soon and stop being distracted by these group of bois hounding her.

everyone has a mission on earth. it is clear she has one.  she need to learn how to chill and ignore most of these distractions.  you don't have to win every argument.

funmi my dear auntie chill and start reading and praying for guidance there is more to your life than this.

Seun:
One significant question is, who are we fighting fraud for?
Are we fighting fraud just so Nigerians abroad won't be embarrassed?

what happens to living right?

nobilia:
We can only stop fraud by making our government do all the fraudulent activities on behalf of the citizens for the benefit of the citizens just like the US and UK.

nigeria nigeria. it is like some people can only function in a lawless and caotic environment

lammy2:
the Irony of life: some are abadoning their childen because they can't afford the upkeep, whlist some are searching for just a child to break the stigma of childlessness.

tell me about it. why cant people like that help somebody like this? we never used to be this bad as a people that we can see innocent babies and turn our eyes away

plus_Queen:
I seriously doubt it.
You sound like a woman that has been

sister nwando pity my auntie na. believe her for one minute. you have the luck and wisdom to have been with guys that are nice some women only had ugly rumours for a show.

funmi is a fiesty young lady i will give her that. some guys here dont play by the rules of being a gentleman so you see where she is coming from. there is time for everything. if some people behave like this on nairaland imagine if she was with them phisically? there is childishness and immaturity that some "men as bois" display to her that brings out her anger as you know i dont agree with my aunties opinions most of the time nor do i condone them.

i have great hope she will calm down and become the joyfull person God wants herto be and put her energy into some worthy cause soon. and who know become a great housewife and mother one day. there is hope for everyone you know

this is the whole article i pasted. you know this is seun's land

mmm let them get loyalty cards then

[b][b][b]Large percentage of Nigerian men are ‘marital criminals’ – Investigation[/b][/b][/b]
By Our Correspondent
Published: Monday, 13 Oct 2008

In Nigeria, cases of legally married men who travel abroad and get legally married to white women to obtain residence permit abound.

In most cases, the Nigerian wife does not know that her husband has married again. Many who get to know usually do no more than quarrel with the men and later make up.

If Nigerian women are keen on suing husbands who contract any other marriage(s) after marrying them legally, a large number of Nigerian men would have been sentenced to terms of imprisonment, an investigation has shown.

This conclusion was a result of findings drawn from the responses of the experts on marriage law, including the Executive Director of the Women Advocates Research and Documentation Centre, Mrs. Abiola Afolabi-Akiyode; the 2nd Vice President of the Nigerian Bar Association, Mr. Adekunle Ojo; a renowned legal practitioner, Dr. Tunji Abayomi; a United Kingdom-based Mr. Ekene Odum and the Director-General of a non-governmental organisation, Advocacy for Democratic Dividends International, Chief Sola Ojeriakhi, who spoke with our correspondent on the law governing the statutory marriage and its implications.

These experts agreed that many Nigerian men treat their marriages with levity by contracting other forms of marriages, either as a result of ignorance of what the law says, or because they are taking refuge in the indigenous culture which frowns at a wife dragging her husband to court.

According to Afolabi-Akiyode, “Most Nigerians have apathy for settling disputes in court and would only resort to the court if they do not have any alternative.

“Women face other problems which include family and societal pressure and financial limitation in instituting actions in court. The society is receptive to polygamy.

“The only instance where a woman sued her husband in the case of R. vs Princewill, the judge was reluctant to apply the provisions of the law. The judge sentenced the husband to not more than seven months imprisonment, instead of the stipulated seven years imprisonment provide for in the Criminal Code and the Marriage Act.”

“If these limitations are not there, a large number of men will be liable to be charged for bigamy in Nigeria and they risk seven years imprisonment.”

Odum, Abayomi and Ojeriakhi and Ojo also agreed that many Nigerian men had escaped being sentenced to seven years imprisonment for bigamy because of cultural restraint on women which discouraged them from suing their erring husbands.

On what constitutes a bigamy, Ojo said “Any act of contracting other form of marriage after validly contracting statutory marriage (otherwise known as court marriages), constitutes the offence of bigamy.

On whether a couple can contract both customary and statutory marriage, Afolabi-Akiyode said “it is common practice for parties in Nigeria who intend to contact a statutory marriage to marry first under customary law before the solemnisation the statutory marriage.

“This practice may be explained by the fact that though western civilisation and western culture have infused into the Nigeria society, most people, even the most sophisticated most understandably regarded themselves as bound by the customary law of their place of origin.

“The Nigerian Marriage Act has given validity to this practice by enabling persons who are married under customary law to marry each other under the statute.”

The learned author of a legal treatise, Family Law in Nigeria, Prof. E. I. Nwogugu, said, “The correct legal position is that parties married under the Marriage Act are entitled only to the rights and obligations of that system.

“Whatever customary-law rights they have from the previous customary-law marriage are superseded, matrimonial reliefs are only to be sought in respect of acts and events which took place after the celebration of the subsequent statutory marriage.

The experts agree that statutory marriage have many advantages over the customary and other forms of marriage.

Customary or Islamic marriages gave men right to marry more than one wife, but statutory marriage forbids either of the partner to contract another marriages, thus preserving the sanctity of one man one wife.

Commenting on this, Afolabi-Akiyode said, “The mere fact that at any given moment, the husband of a customary marriage has just one wife at a particular time does not mean he cannot marry more wives.

“Most women are not comfortable with this kind of arrangement. They would want to have access to their men at any point in time and would not want to share her husband‘s love and attention with any woman.”

The rights and obligations of the spouses are spelt out by law under the statutory marriages.

For instance, what a wife will inherit if the husband dies in testate (without a Will) of the spouse. Although the customary marriage also have unwritten rights and obligations but they are in many cases difficult to enforce.

To this end, where the husband of a statutory marriage dies without righting a Will, the laws of the different states - Laws of Administration Property provide for certain percentage to be granted to the wife, whether or not there are existing issue in such a union.

Another advantage of the statutory marriage over customary marriage, according to the experts‘ is that the spouses of a statutory marriage can not be compelled by the court of law to testify against the each other.

That is to say the wife can not be summonsed by the court to testify against the husband and vice versa, whereas the spouse in customary law marriage can be compelled to testify against each other.

The reason for this is because the law regards the husband and wife of a statutory marriage to be one.

In addition, if a persons aids or assist another person to escape punishment for a crime, the person becomes an accessory and liable to be tried for an offence. But under the law, a woman who contracted a statutory marriage is insulated from this kind of liability.

That is to say a woman does not become an accessory to the fact by helping or assisting her husband to escape punishment for a crime.

Customary law does not provide any remedies for the breach of promise to marry, but the law governing statutory marriage recognises breach of promise of marriage as a civil wrong and the aggrieved party can sue for damages.

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art2008101313504828


funmi you see you are making progress

our people are becoming calous everyday. where are thier families. all the churches along that road are on sabatical i bet. where are party throwing religious nigerians? i bet nta dont do such news do they?

God have mercy. we never used to be like this

19 is still a kid in my book. they should not be having sex let alone making babies. this is the foolish man planting his man on the main road for others to pluck johnson aja talks about. i still cant believe this child has another child on the inside growing daily. what a way to live.

what i find is appauling is when i see them on tele having to do the dna to see whose the child is without shame. sleeping around isnt cool not with the lethal diseaces going about now

young lady stop delaying go and tell now quick

carmelily:
ok, dear, no split hairs. i apologise for the misunderstanding. what about the "i knew she had a man  and was eating the forbidden fruit" bit?

lets now have mercy on this kid.  

origina9ja:
yeah so u cnt have a friend boy
what wrong with that mrs born again

friend boy.  more an enemy boy.please [b] origina9ja [/b] go tell the mum quick and you better stop yours now if you do this ugly business because this could have easily been you too.  i don't know why these kids put this stress on themselves.  illicit sex is joy and destiny stealer

janami:
jjyou
i dnt undastnd my language
but i understand yoruba. "ahun"
Even gorrillas feed their women?

yes my dear i watch nature programmes a lot. i have seen about 3 gorilla programmes. the males go into deep bush to bring food and treats for the female

kaboom:
U R NOT CERTIFIED 2 GET A GOOD WIFE EVEN IN CHURCH,BUT KEEP GOING 2 GOOD HANGOUTS NOT night CLUBS OR FAST FUD JOINS OR BETTER PRAY 2 GOD 2 OPEN UR EYEZ BUT KEEP SEARCHING WHILE PRAY'N

sad better wives in night clubs than church. this is an indictment

carmelily:
hhmmmm, origina9ja, origina9ja, origina9ja, how many times i call you? read my previous post O! LET HER FAMILY KNOW! she will hate you forever if anything goes wrong. If she survives, that is. Responsibility for her well-being falls first to her family, not to any friend or confidante. Whatever decision they take is entirely up to them. She's still dependent and should not take any independent decision as big as abortion or no abortion. I'm surprised that adults on this thread have been saying she should go and get one. Tell her you love and care for her that's why you are ratting on her (after you do).


I must say I was disappointed when i read where you said you were aware a 14-year-old had "a man" and all you gave her was sex education and a thumbs up. Only thing you have to say now is that she was stupid to get pregnant "after all the sex education". You are an accomplice to a crime, in case you didn't know - STATUTORY RAPE.

May God protect our kids from "friends/sisters/confidantes" like you.

have mercy on my sister pls. na so this made in england kids they do old people thing. sadly the parents have to make moneyto build houses they dont need and pay mortgages here too. this may sound harsh but i believe the govt should have stopped paying child benefits to naija and ghana women yrs ago because it encouraged them to bring into this world council flat kids and kids many of them dont have time for. they have abused the system and these kids are still being abused till today

iceblue:
so if you've got a woman who has 50% of what you need, shout hallelujah! and marry her quick quick. remember that you don't have a perfect score either.

50% is not good enough. love is blind marraige will open your eyes. bad and unfufilling marraige is hell on planet earth. never marry a person you cant live without

banana island indeed. over priced, over hyped and over there

i knew you are clever enough to know broadway just had to do that for those who may not know. it is a brillaint song

you wonder why there are many divorces in the church when all my brothers are looking for is who wear the falsest [b]if the is a word like that[/b] other peoples hair, nails, eye lashes and make up. today being monday we shall not talk on mini skirts and clothes that dont fit.

Proverbs 31:30 Bible in Basic English
Fair looks are a deceit, and a beautiful form is of no value; but a woman who has the fear of the Lord is to be praised.

bluntpis:
The truth it no mata ow u look, [i]there is some one God has created just for you! No am not teasing u, its true. [/i]But u ve 2 play ur role, like be neat, smell good, speak well, brush ur teeth (very important), wear good cloths, be open, be honest, be confident, know yourself, always smile (very crucial), be happy, be wise, be humble and above all fear the Lord ur God who knows the heart of all men.

so very true. a microwave generation dont know how to wait for anything good

sex education indeed. another made in england untouchable reproducing themself quickly. dont dare kill this child this could be next naija president. this is how we use abortion kill all the good ones see the bad heads that were forced to come replace them in nigeria tearing the place apart now.

i used to know a 29yrs old gran ma. just do the maths and see circle line coming alive

janami:
i don't understand

you can never understand my dear sister. it is too clever for people like you to understand.  living in an era where Gods grace abolish all snsibilities, women should abolish drinking coke and fanta from men they date don't you think.  do you know any woman worth taking out when she can easily be takn in>.

don't you just love these  me, myself and i young boys we are breeding in naija. even poor gorillas go out of their way to bring fruits for their woman

what do they call selfish people in you language?

good morning my dear sister. trust you are well.  Job said when the children of God came to worship,  the wicked on kids came also along with them.

we live in an ephemeral age. bling bling is the other other of the day.

that song is an old song.  broadway as you know is NY theatre land.  just reminding us the distance between sunday school and theatre land is a long way. 

the wahala most people cause themselves these days in the name of dating. 

God help us

enjoy this igot from face book

Shola Adu-Okubote sent a message to the members of Femme Lounge.

--------------------
Subject: One Thing I KnowForSure

One Thing i KnowForSure

There is absolutely nothing we have that we have not received!

As young women in today’s fast-paced world and in a society that does not consult our strengths and weakness before it leads our life - If we allow! , we are so prone to measuring ourselves by the achievements of others.

Sometimes we judge other women's life by the yardstick of ours and look down on them when they do not attain to our standards, we judge them by where they shop, by when and if they get married, by their jobs, by where they live, by who makes their hair and fix their nails, by what they ride, by who they are with, where they have been to …, overlooking their uniqueness and location on the journey of life, and giving ourselves a false sense of superiority.

The truth is, our achievement, and the processes and resources it has required are divine! We have it because its been given to us, we can only gather what has been released.

Good health, Pretty face, Great job, Networks, Million dollars idea, Friendship , Intelligence, Great Parents, Happy Home, , none has ever been our own making.

Its been given to us as a means to an end, pieces that should be tailored to help us fit an empty space in life's jigsaw puzzle, and that sense of purpose should fuell our gratitude for all that we have.

What do you KnowForSure today?

carmelily:
The Return of the Spammer Dogma Queen lol.

Anyways, the Bible makes no mention of the "keys to the kingdom" but if you guys gave it to Peter, I sure as hell hope Judas wasn't keeping the spare!

Like i said before David pointed out to me that

you are the plague of NL

, your ideas are baseless or at best, based on DOGMA and not on scripture. Did you at all read anything posted in your absence from the thread? In all respect, you are really ruining the image of RCC. Leave the debate to the likes of omenuko

plagues and viruseeeeeeees indeed. you make me laugh girl. good morning. hope i laugh like this all week

sojioguns:
There is a similar case in Lagos on Abeokuta expressway. If you drive along that road in the mornings you would have noticed a woman with quadruplets. I don't know where the husband is but I believe she is in a similar situation.

Jesus is Lord. you mean this for real or you are joking?
please tell me you are joking

"Its A Long Way From Sunday School To Broadway"

Oh she used to stand and clap her hands and sing Amazing Grace
While the tears of childhood innocence were streaming down her face
Mama prayed at night and raised her right and thought she knew her way
But it's a long long way from Sunday School to where she's at today

It's a long long way from Sunday School to Broadway
She's a long way from the girl she used to be
When you sing the city songs it's hard to find your way back home
And it's a long long way from Sunday School to Broa-oa-oadway

Sunday evenings spent in the gospel tent down on her bended knee
Where she gave her soul to Jesus and he set her spirit free
But her body longed for city life and she couldn't stay at home
And it's a long long way from Sunday School to New York nights alone

It's a long long way from Sunday School to Broadway
She's a long way from the girl she used to be
When you sing the city songs it's hard to find your way back home
And it's a long long way from Sunday School to Broa-oa-oadway

Then her eyes grew bright in the cool dark night and a halo framed her face
And a passer-by swore he heard her cry, can you hear Amazing Gra-ace
Did you see the man who took her life as she walked the New York streets
And it's a long long way from Broadway till the place at the Master's feet

It's a long long way from Sunday School to Broadway
She's a long way from the girl she used to be
When you sing the city songs it's hard to find your way back home
And it's a long long way from Sunday School to Broa-oa-oadway

It's a long long way from Sunday School to Broadway
She's a long way from the girl she used to be
When you sing the city songs it's hard to find you

plus_Queen:
I'm almost tempted to post pictures from my anniversary

i beg you please don't. it is not worth the agro. please don't. if you must  please  sleep over it

these dresses labelled yoruba are not yoruba. even camerounians and ivoreans wear them like that today

you are not saying poverty and peity are first cousins are they? there are many poor people with bad belle than rich people in my book. i know we are not preaching to the choir here. religion or call it faith as the bible says without works is dead. DEAD. it would be good to let others pay for all you enjoy and use in this kingdom but hey God is using someone somewhere to pay for it. i doubt a any man that say He loves God with his heart but money which his not his in the first place is untouchable by the things of God. get all you can and can all you get mentality.

talk is too cheap. i lived with a guy before who knows upto the index and maps of the bible but his penny never drops. he was older than me but had no qualms me housing and paying his bills. tithing was old testament to him but receiving was his new testament mantra