₦airaland Forum

perfectionist:
My wife would gladly do that but my mother has threatened fire and brimstone if I ever show up at her place with my wife.

freecocoa:
The woman is angry, it is not out of this world that she would threaten such, like we don't know how emotional an old woman will get over being slapped by someone younger, let alone her DIL.

Normality:
Please I met a St Lucian woman on facebook, she has Belgian passport, lives in Belgium though and we are kinda very close....
She is due to visit me in Nigeria by May/June, and she is so serious about me coming over after she must have gone and due to my academic schedules, I will be chanced by Nov/Dec.
By the way am in my HND finals computer science, due to be through this year ending.

I am kinda worried, I am not a huge earner, I only earn through software and web freelancing and my site too, but she wants to fund my travels,
also getting me worried is my school situation since I want to apply for visitation/tourist visa, two months max.

What and what do I need before I can be issued a schengen visa, I need any advice I can get.

Thanks all.

betty21:
@justwise please any answer for me

perfectionist:
@ ZACHIE
Thanks for updating your previous post.
My wife called me while they were still quarrelling, before the fight started.
I hope to God this issue is resolved amicably. I've already started the mediation process but it's not easy 'cos my mother would have none of it. Her terms for reconciliation are rather steep, necessitating the departure of my wife from the home.

MrPSA:
Sunnyside, hillbrow are dirty because of you foreigners, Please clean yourself and our place I blame you because most of your man are dirty and ugly. Everything ugly belongs to your man. You girls you prefare to use a lot of make up, I pass you every day at church str with your hairdressers posters. But I love you girls.

MrPSA:
I am not a racist, that is how I see things. For me the word "Dirty" isn't a racist comment. If I see your house is dirty, I will tell you. Nothing wrong. Don't ever call me a racist again, I only comment on your country website. That's all.

MrPSA:
I am not a racist, that is how I see things. For me the word "Dirty" isn't a racist comment. If I see your house is dirty, I will tell you. Nothing wrong. Don't ever call me a racist again, I only comment on your country website. That's all.

simplest:
Hello my nairalander, dis is my first timer to ask question on dis tread. Plz am planning to travel to UK and my salary is nt up to 100k but my uncle has open anoda account for me, helping me to operate d account for six month, at list he pay 230k at my salary per month and he wil operate it for six month for me. My question is dis which visa should I apply for wen is time? Dis month ending is 3rd month nw

simplest:
just visit

freecocoa:
You keep missing the point, who doesn't know that hitting a DIL is not the way to go? The issue is, what do you do if you are hit?

freecocoa:
Now I see why you are sounding this way, if you can't take the woman who contributed to the DNA of your wife and children like your mum, you will never be able to give her the respect she deserves.

freecocoa:
The story only said, they don't get along, it didn't say MIL has been harassing DIL, how does taking pics of her granchild make her controlling?

I go take things from my family without asking but letting them know I took it, all the time, yet we've never had to fight because of this.

Why can't I compare it with your mum? Haven't you had altercations with your mum before? Has she ever tried to hit you? Has she ever insisted she was right even when you feel it in your guts that you are the one who's right? What will you do in this instance?

If you think you shouldn't love your MIL like you would your mother, then ignore my post.

freecocoa:
Lmao, they don't have to get along? what kind of relationship will this family have? A family that doesn't get along, it's wrong to slap anyone, but should your mum slap you, what would you do?

N.B, remember this is the first time MIL hit DIL.

bestestgirl:
infact I don't think the MIL asked for the pictures, it looks to me like MIL and gang came to greet the family and the DIL gave them album to 'watch', suddenly the MIL started ripping out all the pictures she likes in the album to go away with and when the DIL protested, the slaps began to rain.
If every other visitor had been ripping out pictures from the album, which one would she have seen to take? MIL was wrong on every level, and the other gang members are not good people at all, they had the power to stop the issue before it went too far

freecocoa:
I get all these and I think I've said it over an over that, MIL is wrong to slap her, but I want you to see that, DIL is not a victim, she's as bad, even worse than MIL, I'm starting to think that, DIL's 'mannarlessness' is a reason why MIL can't get along with her.

If you can slap your MIL for hitting you once, you can hit your mother.

The law is that, if gets that tough, you honor your elder, DIL doesn't care about laws and will be worse, when she starts using the "elder" chip, mama is using now.

freecocoa:
I am definitely not a push over and can never be one, but I was raised well, I get what I want by how I act, you should command respect.

If my MIL for any reason slaps me, I will not hit her back but she will never try it again.

If you know better than someone, you don't act like them.


There can be exceptions, where it's necessary to hit back, this is too petty.

Sophyrocks:
Thank you bo. She is talking about manners and being cultured as if the MIL displayed a good one there. I thought the elderly are meant to live by example.

babyosisi:
I am telling you
The only reason this is an issue is because the DIL must have taught her a lesson she won't forget
If she had won this fight,she will be celebrating her victory
She got more than she bargained for
Next time let me see the hand she will use to slap that girl
Even if the son divorces this wife and marries another,she will not go to fight her because it may bring back memories

mirob:
My dear go and learn culture, even if u are abroad better come down to Naija and learn manners, nothing, absolutely nothing gives you the right to fight an elderly person let alone ur mother inlaw, if that will be ur own reaction then I will say babes you are manner less. In this case you WALK AWAY with the album if u don't want to give her the picture, period.

Oh! You even called me Mumu for trying to correct you. Shaking my head, you see what I mean? You are really manner less.

JayJustus:
Hahahaha...ofcos...why do you ask?? I'm on a solo trip here...I pay for everything I do

simplest:
Hello my nairalander, dis is my first timer to ask question on dis tread. Plz am planning to travel to UK and my salary is nt up to 100k but my uncle has open anoda account for me, helping me to operate d account for six month, at list he pay 230k at my salary per month and he wil operate it for six month for me. My question is dis which visa should I apply for wen is time? Dis month ending is 3rd month nw

blza:
Justwise, I think you are fantastic but may need to check this one out... UK code C visit visa for both general visitor and family visitor allows the visitor to stay for a max duration of 180 days which is 6 months.

This is irrespective of wether it's a single or multi entry . First applications usually get the 6 months validity .

TheFilmmaker:
We probably have different family backgrounds and one of the moral tenets of my family (not married yet) is to shun hypocrisy. That it.

We shun hypocrisy. I will never ever ever ever slap my mother. Nor another person's mother. I, therefore, will never condone such.

I don't know about you. If she can slap your mother, then you can slap your mother too. Savvy?

TheFilmmaker:
If my wife loves me, she will not do that. Once she does that, I'm sure she's prepared to leave the house too.

Stop acting like pussies.

TheFilmmaker:
What the hell are you people saying? A woman slapped my mom? And you expect me to take it like it's Nescafé? Why is everybody so hypocritical in judging? My wife can not even have the effrontery to slap my junior sister, not to talk of my mother. WTF are you people talking self?

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

ttmacoy:
It's interesting how everyone on Nairaland has EU passport but chose to live in Nigeria while their wives and kids live and school in UK and US.

If you believe in Nigeria as you say then get rid of thosepassports, bring your kids back and put them in Nigerian schools and work hard to develop the country

You say moral decadence in the western world. Are you telling me Nigeria is moral? You may have one of the highest number of churches per square foot in the world but please do not be deceived that makes you moral. Nigeria is as immoral as they come.

It is this same immorality that has actually led to this situation where Nigerians now find it hard to get visas. As I said in my last post there was a time when Nigerians were visa free to many of the world's best countries, but due to us abusing the systems and spoiling our name we lost that privilege so until you sort out the mess and rebuild your reputation, you can keep praying all you like it will not make a difference.

Nigerians have what they need to me a change but would rather fast and pray. Goodluck with that.

Thanks for thinking about me and my future so I wouldn't have to queue for visa - i look forward to that time. In the meantime I will continue to queue so I can get an EU passport like you and send my wife and kids to UK and US to live and study
You're a role model

Vanillasky:
Hallo, we submitted our documents at the teleperformance office today. I noticed that the papers we were given for collection had the document checklist and our marriage certificate wasn't ticked, in fact it was struck out like we didn't submit it. Also noticed that it was under my son's checklist that they acknowledged my husband's financial documents and employment letter. Pls do u think it will affect our application. i am also worried about them not returning the marriage cert. since they didn't even acknowledge it.