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Kalvoken's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Kalvoken's Profile › Kalvoken's Posts

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Travel › Re: This Is What Happens When You Cook In Antarctica At -70°C (Photos) by kalvoken(m): 7:30am On Oct 12, 2018
Almaiga:
Weting concern Buhari for this matter. It's like the name gives you an errection anytime you mentioned it.
Yes . it's not just me, even my pvc stands at the mention of Buhari.
Travel › Re: This Is What Happens When You Cook In Antarctica At -70°C (Photos) by kalvoken(m): 3:48am On Oct 12, 2018
Most of these buhari supporters need to be taken there. Cold would reconfigure their brain
Sports › Re: Uche Henry Agbo's Mother Dies Mysteriously Days To Libya Clash by kalvoken(m): 9:58pm On Oct 11, 2018
Dmpaul:
In WizKid's voice, ''all of the boys Go do anything for the money"
babanla$$$$
kennyddonn:
Ibo plus rituals,,,, na wa
Now I'm confused on who to mourn, the life-dead one or these brain-dead things.


My sympathy to your loved ones.

R.I.P

Celebrities › Re: Peter Okoye's Sitting Room Tastefully Furnished (Photo) by kalvoken(m): 12:55pm On Oct 11, 2018
haywire07:
So everyday I think to myself, how a 50k job with lots of pressure can fetch one a healthy life .

Is this how to start somewhere?
Lucky you!

Many don't earn 50k in two months
Politics › Re: “face Your Problems Not My Performance At PDP Primary” – Saraki Replies APC by kalvoken(m): 3:17pm On Oct 09, 2018
One I like about this saraki of a man is that his actions speaks for him. A man of few words but many actions
Crime › Re: Ritualist Rejects Lady Because She Has Been Used By Superior Powers by kalvoken(m): 10:08pm On Oct 07, 2018
shamsin6300:
FACTS ABOUT PDP CONVENTION
1. Congratulations Atiku! Indeed your $5,000
worked for you.
2. Tambuwal thanks for being the second, you
represented the position PDP will get in 2019
general elections.
Thank God, the name of your party chairman too
is second.
3. Saraki 317! So, you came 3rd position? As a
Senate President of Nigeria you are the the
number three citizen.
Don't forget that 33 people lost their lives in Offa
robbery attack by your men.
Where is your friend Dino Melaye?
4. Dear Kwankwaso, even in JAMB I believe you
know what 158 represents.
However, you can now decrease the amount of
red-caps in Kano from #200 to 158.
5. Mr. Dankwambo congratulations for getting
special number.
To sympathize with Dankwambo dial 111.
6. Sule Lamido, your 96 represents the exact
hatred you have for Buhari.
Sorry ooo but Buhari will remain in power till
2023.
You can reach 100% if you like.
7. Mr. Makarfi you scored 74, when divided by
two is 37 which represents 36 states and FCT
Abuja.
Well-done for this Maths.
You are good in Mathematics right?
Now, calculate the actual amount you spent that
gave you 7th position and divide it by number of
delegates who voted for you.
8. Kabiru Turaki, I heard that you have scored 65
votes and you will be 65 years in the next four
years. Well-done ooo but mind you, you can only
spend these four years in Jigawa not in Aso Villa.
9. Bafarawa, your 48 votes verified that you you
spent 48 months from 1999 to 2003 and 48 more
from 2003 to 2007.
What is not clear now is this statement of yours.
"I didn’t receive any salary for eight years as
Sokoto State governor".
10. David Mark, Nigeria has 36 states please not
35. Forget about the dollars you have seen, Rivers
is also a state in Nigeria not in America.
11. Jonah Jang with 19 votes. Where are you
running to? We are still in 2018 not 2019 please.
Nigerians are still waiting for you to throw more
light on the new Bermuda triangle in Jos
popularly known as Dura-Du Pond of blood.
12. Datti Baba Ahmed you can clap for yourself
since your five votes tally the number of letters in
your first name. D+A+T+T+I=5.
You must be under curse. It's not ordinary

Politics › Re: Dino Melaye & Governor Fayose Step Out In Style This Sunday Afternoon by kalvoken(m): 9:54pm On Oct 07, 2018
Everyone must Atikulate to return that skeleton back to daura.

Politics › Re: Dino Melaye & Governor Fayose Step Out In Style This Sunday Afternoon by kalvoken(m): 9:53pm On Oct 07, 2018
BUHARI while he looks at Dino's fitness; 1

What buhari sees when he appear before the mirror; 2

Buhari on the bed thinking; 3

Politics › Re: Oby Ezekwesili Emerges Presidential Candidate Of ACPN by kalvoken(m): 8:34pm On Oct 07, 2018
BUHARI on hearing the news, because we all KNOW he can't read

Education › Re: Infestation Of Venomous Spiders Closes Four Schools In The UK(Photos) by kalvoken(m): 9:43pm On Oct 05, 2018
KingLennon:
That's a great decision and a timely one at that. The false wisdow spider is very dangerous...
I'm not doubting if you would have said this, should Nigerian government take same action in a similar case. I know you won't, rather the chant would have been useless, irresponsible government And so on.
Politics › Re: Result Of APC Governorship Primary In Enugu State by kalvoken(m): 2:53am On Oct 05, 2018
Awol1:
Kenneth Okonkwo nko?
Siiirrr! I dey hear you.

TV/Movies › Re: Throwback: Seeing Movies, What It Looked Like Decades Ago (Photos) by kalvoken(m):
VCR, how can I forget it. I started watching porn on it.

Would always tap from Frank our neighbour back then. He Always watch it every Saturday with his girlfriend then.
The day my dad caught me, I can't even type what transpired that day.
Politics › Re: Ogun APC Defies NWC Panel, Declares Amosun’s Candidate Winner by kalvoken(m): 5:29pm On Oct 03, 2018
If election with in APC is going this way, let's not border ourselves for 2019 federal election.
Crime › Re: Man Rescued After Jumping Inside Lagos Lagoon Has Died by kalvoken(m): 11:48am On Oct 03, 2018
I dont blame anyone that decides to take his/her life, being a Nigerian is equally suicidal
Food › Re: Food For School Lunch In Nigeria And Other Countries (Photos) by kalvoken(m): 8:57am On Oct 03, 2018
Psittacus:
it's explorer again

Na packaging sha, beans is rich nutrients.. so is some of those other meals.. But for quantity.. That one I no fit talk
See what we are talking about.

Watery beans and bread have so beclouded you that you can't even think straight
Food › Re: Food For School Lunch In Nigeria And Other Countries (Photos) by kalvoken(m): 8:46am On Oct 03, 2018
Chai

Nigerians have suffered, is suffering and don't know when they would stop suffering.


What's really our offence!

Politics › Re: 20 Years After: 'I Sorry For Nigeria' Song By Fela Anikulapo Kuti (Lyrics/Audio) by kalvoken(m): 10:57pm On Oct 02, 2018
Nigerian version of prophet Elijah
Business › Re: Is This Unionbank Advert The Best Advert This Year? by kalvoken(m): 11:23pm On Oct 01, 2018
Igboeze90:
It is the absolute best. No doubt.

In a Nigeria where the elites have conspired to make her youthful population nothing, we need ads like this.

Because if we want to change Nigeria for the better, if we want to obliterate our differences, if we want to become the go-to nation in Africa, we need ads that will give people hope.

...And with hope, nothing is impossible!
Ibu onye wenu nwanenchi
Politics › Re: This Is What You See When Election Is Approaching In Nigeria (Photo) by kalvoken(m): 8:33am On Sep 30, 2018
Zebra is quite wiser than most Nigerian voters, you could have used the dumbest animal.
Family › Re: A Bad Wife Or Poverty; Which One Is Worse? by kalvoken(op): 8:31am On Sep 30, 2018
ifyalways:
A bad spouse.

You can overcome poverty but you can't deal with a bad spouse ; unless you separate.
Separation many times don't solve the problem. Hardly will your kids be fully happy, unless you are yet to have kids
Family › Re: A Bad Wife Or Poverty; Which One Is Worse? by kalvoken(op): 8:29am On Sep 30, 2018
cruchenutii:
It's a stupid question, nevertheless Hell is the only thing worse than Poverty.
The insult was unnecessary.
May God not let you meet a bad woman
Family › A Bad Wife Or Poverty; Which One Is Worse? by kalvoken(op): 11:29pm On Sep 29, 2018
Hello guys, with the kind of women most men are being punished with in the name of marriage, which do you think is worse. A bad woman or poverty?
Education › Re: Is This The Best Handwriting Ever? (Photo) by kalvoken(m): 3:01pm On Sep 28, 2018
Houseofglam7:
Oh wow!
Super impressive!
Sometimes even I can't read my own handwriting!
You sick

Health › Re: FG Puts Up 52 NNPC's Hospital For Commercial Use To Curtail Medical Tourism by kalvoken(m): 7:43am On Sep 28, 2018
grin

Buhari right now

Jobs/Vacancies › Re: FRSC Recruitment: Tattoos, Bow & K Legs, Married, Pregnant Women Disqualified by kalvoken(m): 8:45pm On Sep 25, 2018
miteolu:
Bow & K Legs ?
grin grin

Walayi, all of una for NL dey mad grin grin
Celebrities › Re: Dolapo Badmus And Victoria Inyama Fight On Instagram by kalvoken(m): 11:17am On Sep 22, 2018
No of my concern.

Just wish adeleke's win today's election, so he can murder oshi-omo-ole, tinubu et all with his skelewu dance.
Family › Re: Woman Who Had Stillbirth After Posing With 20,000 Bee In Another Wild Shoot(Pics by kalvoken(m): 11:36am On Sep 21, 2018
Mammywater

Nairaland General › Magic Picture: Anyy Pain Is Coating Happiness by kalvoken(op): 10:37pm On Sep 20, 2018
In every situation, no matter how bad, you can be happy if only you would choose to.

The magic pic says it all.

Just look the pix with your eyes half closed

Sports › Re: Juventus Star Cristiano Ronaldo In Tears After Red Card Vs Valencia (Photos) by kalvoken(m): 10:22am On Sep 20, 2018
GoTV:
He deserves to be banned for life. He's not a team player and very obsessed with self glory. The reason why he wept is not for juventus, but not been able to add to his goal tally in Europe. Selfish over hyped piece of sheet angry

Sports › Re: Cristiano Ronaldo Receives Red Card On UCL Debut With Juventus (Photo) by kalvoken(m): 10:31pm On Sep 19, 2018
Believe it, politics ia bigger treat to humanity than terrorism is. Politics fathers terrorism.


So soft touching someone's hair inside the pitch is now like a murder

Today wi forever haunt those two match officials
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: Real Madrid Vs Roma :UCL (3 - 0) On 19th September 2018 by kalvoken(m): 9:41pm On Sep 19, 2018
The hatred towards Ronaldo is becoming something else.


Football lovera need to agitate for Rinaldo's fair treatment. Touching someone on his hair is no capital offence to FIFA.

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