₦airaland Forum

Sugar King.

Mostly ok. Don't come around here that often anymore myself

Yeah yeah, those long gone days, was fun back then shaa. . .  

You can track down any of their posts, click on their names and check on their profiles. Too tired to bother myself . . .  

ashiwaju11:
Gorgeous 4 months old White & Fawn American Bull Dog (Female) For Sale!
Big, Strong and beautiful female ABD from South Africa for sale.

She is innoculated and dewormed. Please send an email to; info@nairapaws.com.ng if interested.
American Bull dogs are very Athletic, make great companions and are Excellent Guard dogs. They are known for their acts of heroism, and their love for children.

We import several breeds of dogs. Send us an email and we will be glad to advise you on the best breed that suits your family as a pet or for your specific breeding purpose.

Seriously??

@Rowe,
In addition to what Myne said, may i suggest joining as many literary forums as you can. Expensive (think cyber-time) and time-consuming - especially if u live in Nigeria - but really that's pretty much the cheapest way to advertise your writings. Post excerpts and short stories, and ask readers for review - and don't forget to review theirs

One more thing: pricing. When you do get around to publishing the book(s), abeg try and keep the price down - something between N500 and N1,000; anything higher will be a hard sell. I know this is gonna be a balance between the quality of your book and its price, but then the greater portion of folks that read paranormal/sci-fi/fantasy novels in this country are undergraduates - tells u something about their purchasing power.

I live in P.H, and haven't really been among literary cycles for long now, but i'll ask around for a good press.

@Myne, do u think S.K on blogsville could do a good illustration?

@Orinkila: dude if you reading this, could you suggest a good press?

maedan:
Seconded, thirded and fourthed!!!LOL

some sense of humor u've got, gurl. . .

@intrepid

why u dey diss Fatkubu Yakubu naw?

Nice piece, me likey.

ariblaze:
. . .its been a while, if any of you pawns feel lucky step to the plate. . . even my being rant rusty wont spare you the poo filled fate that awaits you

I'm on the plate.

Seeing as we've both been absent for a while, tis only fair we take the first round.

So, whatchu got?

bluespice:
*chuckle*

quarrel's over!!!! teeheheee!! https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-dance003.gif https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy094.gif https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-dance012.gif

bluespice:


kay, like i said, die painfully and slowly

blu, will u marry me?

hi blu, V, sino, EjaD, Sisi, Id

hi everybody else.


blaze has been de-throned; i'll drink to his grave later.

blu, i luv u too. boys' scout's honor. My arse was just too thick to notice all the wet kisses u were slapping on 'em.

Ejad, if i had a Badge of Fury to award, i'd give it to u. U represent. Please buy a matchete and behead the slow-poke already. Slowly.

sino, whadup dawg? u almost the regular Grinch now, congrats!

Id, can see u've already made urself at home; i likey. Keep at it long enough and u might just get a permanent seat on the Ranters Council. But in the mean time i think u should shove yo head up that part of the human anatomy where the sun dont shine. Just saying.

V . . . . i dunno, man, seems them ladies have gotten to u finally. And before u blow yo fragile top and go all "gay9" on me, take a bros' advice and chill already. i ain't patronizing u dude, i just like the old, cucumber-cool V better.


-----------------------------------------------


I'm not angry. i'm not even slightly annoyed. i'm happy; very, very happy.

The reason: very soon, i'm gonna finally have the chance to bust a cap in my boss' arse. Literally.

Oh yes, my boss.

My hectoring, domineering, Shylock-cloned, pot-bellied (like a drum, no less!), bully of a boss. Got a name for him too; Godzilla.

For months now have i been praying and fasting for a chance to get my lick in at Godzilla;

For many many days and nights have my cries been going up to the Lord of Hosts for just one chance - ONE CHANCE ONLY! - to take a grenade-launcher to Godzilla's family jewels. And what a delightful spectacle that will be - i get an erection just thinking about it!

Godzilla has made my life bitter;

Godzilla has made my office life bitter;

Godzilla has made my out-of-office life bitter;

i wake up in the morning and i have an ugly taste in my mouth because of Godzilla

9:45am saturday morning and i'm happy humping my area-code, and my fone rings - Godzilla!

Godzilla calls me over to his office, yells @me for the better part of 20mins n asks me to get the hell out again . . . .

admitedly i'm somthing of a hothead myself, but i'm not mean about it! Godzilla's mean, wicked and terribly sanctimonious - in that order!

And to top it off, every monday morn, he comes in and goes: Please lets pray for the week.

Fcck that i say!! Pray, and then come around and lord it over me later, abi? Ama-ala parakwa igwe gi dia!

Its our assistant manager that i pity most. Pity, see, cos i'm tired of sympathizing with the fella; he's such a wuss!

I mean, i've seen lots of wusses in my time, but this codger actually made a career out of it.

godzilla: mr x where are u coming from?

mr x: sir, i'm sorry sir, i went to have lunch. its 12:45pm sir, its lunch time. . .

godzilla: mr x, why didnt u take permission before going out? even if its lunch time, what if i want u to do something else?

mr x: i'm sorry sir, very sorry sir, i apologize sir, please sir. . . .

I mean, what da fxxk??!!

not to boast but i've gottn 3 queries in the last 4 months; each as ridiculous as the one before and after it. the simple truth is that i just won't be bullied.

i've prayed and prayed for godzilla to make the crazy mistake of hitting me - of his any one of his extremities actually making physical contact with any part of my skin

mehn, that day even vultures will stay clear of his remains,

i'll whip his arse so bad, sooooooo bad the arse-whooping will affect his wife and kids at home.

i'll put a HURTIN' on him, a HURTIN' so weekid he's gonna be hearing his soul screaming for release. . . .


but, anyways, like i said, i'm not angry

i'm not even ranting anymore

afterall, my prayer request is about to be answered

and when that glorious day comes - when that hallelujah glorious day comes -

i'm gonna slice and dice Godzilla's remains with a rusty razor blade and pack it all up in a card-board paper box.

and then i'm gonna hand in my resignation and proceed to church for thanksgiving.

Guess i've been away too long; i've forgotten how we show affection around here.

tubabie, put the shut to the up, and keep it canned. Step on my toe again, and i'll eat u for dinner. I WILL EAT U.

hi blaze, blue, V, EjaD, sino, and (if my orbs ain't deceiving me) CEO Sisi_Kill. . . . hi old friend

can see we have a coupla newbies, too; hi to y'all.

tubabie, u posted a split sec before i did, so i'm modifying this for u.






Just the same old me, signing in.

Now, will somebody please roll out the Ranting War machine??