₦airaland Forum

@shinkafi
Yes, it depends on how "big"(profile level, fanfare level) you want to have it be.
In Nigeria, many people listen to a whole lot of voices when preparing for weddings, as such they get caught up in a financial straits after the wedding, coz they allow relatives from right and left to start making unnecessary demands, just to gratify themselves, and fulfil the "If you dont spend money, you are not yet married" philisophy.

The advice is: Cut your coat according to your size.

In the world of today, twill be very unreasonable for someone to go borrow money, get loans just to do a wedding. Such people end up spending months just to repay the loans after the wedding, in the absence of all the guests. Sit you bride down, let her know how far you can comfortably stretch yourself. Agree together and after that, let anyone that disagrees go and marry himself/herself.

(o boy, this thread na confessions)
never done that, hope and never want to do that,

I broke my left leg when I was a kid

@orinkinla
bros, thats my sister's picture. She doesnt understand English. How much would you pay so that i interpret your letter for you.

sorry @cutiepie18,
not at all, a guy doesnt need sex to fall in love with a girl. In fact guys tend to appreciate girls that don't flaunt the sex part. Its more like: if a girl could show that theres more to "her" girl than a night of sex, guys would want to treasure such a relationship.

If Love is all about sex, then he could as well get it from anywhere.

Love from a guys perspective, is more of the "Person", the "real she, herself" in the girl, not the "sex" he gets from the girl. I would rather say most girls percieve that if they give sex to a guy, twill make him fall deeply in love with them(as in expecting him to understand that: now that ive given myself to you, then you give yourself to me, where "self" on the girls part is understood as "sex" and on the guys part is understood as his "heart, his commitment".

Usually, the final part of the I love you to and fro boy girl -  is: sex.

And many times than often, after sex, the guy's eye really opens, in fact, thats when he begins to see things as they are, he begins to think about commitment, he begins to think about possibilities: other girls. The (sex'd) girl begins to talk about "us", with a mind-set that "now that we have had sex, I belong to you and you belong to me", on the other hand, the guy, after sex begins to think "me and you, the only thing we have in common is sex", as in "me" first, and then "you". If the "us" thoughts/actions of the girl seems too much to handle, the guy begins to see possibilities: "if I could get to this level with her, then that means ive got something that all the girls want",

in conclusion, the relationship is kaput!!! The guy calls it quits, the girls heart is more broken, more and more, because she thought she has given him her love(sex), shes hurt because that(sex) was the highest act of love she thought she could show to a guy to make him believe, realize and understand the extent to which she loves him. Unfortunately, the thoughts drumming through the guys minds are: "we had sex, so what?".

yeah its true o,

in fact in most cases, its women that blow out the candle of Love

shio,

In 1976, obasanjo visited our school and said we were the leaders of tomorrow. 30 yrs later he is still our leader.

He used up our parents quota, he is using our quota and now he wants to use our children's quota.

say no to 3rd term

hhhmmmm, INdecent dressing, mostly have to do with females, but a lot of guys dress odd too:
here:
- partially exposing what should naturally and ideally be covered(male/female privates, "avenues/high-ways" leading to male/female privates)

- totally exposing what should naturally and ideally be covered(male/female privates, "avenues/high-ways" leading to male/female privates)

- clothes that will make the same/opposite sex to lust after the indecently dressed. Note: Appreciation is different from Lusting.

- clothes that spell "S-E-X", example ive come across a lot of ladies wearing short blouses with some other drawing, or sowed-on fabric, depicting a scene like, something like ones arms, as if the arms were grabbing their breasts, or others with other inscriptions that make you look at the lady as a sex object.

- for guys, ive seen a guy who wore a T-shirt an arrow pointing downwards with the writing: "Girls, this road leads to your happiness", i found it very insultive.

- what i call "color-riot" is dressing up in such a way where you can count like 10/more colors, and such that makes the person an instant object of peoples attention.

- dressing wrongly for occassions/events: ex: wearing bathroom slippers to church, and other oddities.

- Its not by force to be a hiphop guy, abi. Too many 50cents guys in nigeria and I pity them, a lot of nija guys i came across in Nigeria, its like this: 12noon, the sun is blazing hot, then u see this guy, wearing low-down, waste hanging jeans, has a turtle-neck t-shirt underneath a snow-jacket, with a head-band, and a dark sunshades, with a base-ball cap. Im like, dont you feel hot, besides it doesnt snow in Nigeria, abi,

never missed 4exams delibrately/an entire semester of classes.

ok, ive drank a gallon of Kerosine before(, was too damn thirsty, )

I say no to Karma and Christianity. Jesus Christ and Buddha will not sit at the same table.

Yes man is born in sin. One might live a life of sin and disobedience against God, but at the time of repentance, God cleanses his past and gives him a new start in life. Old things are passed away and all things are become new. God forgives sin, forgives the past and one is made free from the guilt of past sin and its consequences.

@wiseguy

In John 9:1-3, the disciples observe a man who was born blind, and inquire of Jesus whether the man himself or his parents sinned, that he was born blind.  Jesus replies that in this case neither the man nor his parents sinned, but he does not rebuke the disciples in any way for their belief that it would have been possible for the man to sin prior to birth.

Note also that Christ did not sanction "such a belief", if really you would like to conclude that the disciples were supposing re-incarnation from their own question.

Upon the Mount of Transfiguration, Christ said, "Elias is come already, and they knew him not, but have done unto him whatsoever they listed… Then the disciples understood that He spake unto them of John the Baptist." (Matthew 17:12,13). Note that the understanding of the disciples may be wrong and also in that passage in the Bible, the statement was put in parenthesis to show that that part is the opinion of the disciples,  But the idea is that for such a dialogue to even take place between Jesus and the Disciples suggests the existence of re-incarnation. I believe the Lord Christ would have rebuked the disciples immediately if their belief, as contained in the questions and answers, was wrong. Even Christ himself asked the disciples. "who do people say that Iam?". We know the responses. If it is not possible for souls to re-inarnate, Christ would have used any of these opportunities to say so.

Take a look at Luke chapter 1, where the birth of John the Baptist is announced to his father.

Lu 1:15 For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb.
Lu 1:16 And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.
Lu 1:17 And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

In simple terms, John the Baptist was to have the same passions, zeal for the things of God, similar ministry,, that John would be used of God mightily just like Elijah was used in his time,did and does, not meaning that John the Baptist was to be an Elijah re-incarnate. Even in our world today, you might find some people who have a lot of similarities(events in their lives) with other people before/after them, that doesnt mean that one is a re-incarnate of the other. Apart from those verses from which you forcefully draw out the re-incarnation subject, Christ never taught about it, He didnt endorse it, neither was it an issue even in the time of the disciples.

Lu 1:17
And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.a

and here too,

Even Christ himself asked the disciples. "who do people say that Iam?"

Christ is in no way suggesting the possibility of re-incarnation. If He was suggesting it, then we could say he was the re-incarnate of somebody else, therefore, there is no Christ, which is totally wrong. He was more of asking his disciples of the perception of people about Him(Jesus). A whole lot of prophets have come and gone before Jesus came around, and twas the tendency to associate a new prophet with an old one/one of the old ones, and as a result totally miss out on the message the new prophet brings, as well as muddle up what the old one said. (Note, my classification of some as old/new prophets is mainly becoz many lived at different times). Also note what happened in Acts 5, where the Saduccees had to meet together to discuss on the signs and wonders the apostles performed. Read v34-37, where the had to recount different people that performed miracles, etc What I'm saying is that there was the tendency in the people to associate Jesus with someone in the past, and that was what Jesus wanted to know from his disciples, and such a tendency is normal since we are humans.
ex: in the next 100years, if there were to be another computer wizzard, he/she would be associated with Bill Gates, isnt it.

syrup said it right

God's grace in Christ doesn't mix with karma and re-incarnation.

hi Steph,

feeling your pain, and i do hope you have a good life with your new Yoruba man.

in any sucessful marriage there must first be option 1,

good

wheres everyone?

Jesus died for the whole of mankind, yet some peeps dont believe him,
then someone will now die for Nigeria?

rather than give him a 6ft burial, theyll make it 12ft

if ur friend doesnt like the job, tell he to resign, abi na by force?

police collects 20naira by the roadside
armed robbers collect your car

Nigerians dey sepe for both of them

they both make nija a terrible place to be

A Wife or the Mother of your Kids, A Husband or the Father of your kids

I was on a journey, sat beside a guy in the bus, and we soon struck up a conversation. First started with Police collecting 20Naira on the road, then proceeded to the woeful state of Nigerian Academic institutions, then to the ups and downs of finding a carrer and lastly on the finding a "good wife" issue.

We discussed a lot, and part/the major of what we discussed was after he put a question to me as a guy, which I answered, and I just felt I should share/put the question to NLs and see what you would say.


It goes like this:
As a man:
The dream of every man is be successful: career and family-wise. For everything to be well-rounded, he'll want to have 2-sides of the same coin:
1)He wants a wife who is loving,caring, humble, respective, virtuous, fun to be with,, etc.who possesses all the qualities he desires in a WIFE.
2) He would love to raise up a family with his wife, and kids(beautiful girl/girls, handsome boy/boys).

As a woman:
The dream of every woman is be successful: career and family-wise. For everything to be well-rounded, she'll want to have 2-sides of the same coin:
1) A good husband who protects her, loves her,cares about her, is humble, respective, virtuous, someone who is all she wanted, etc.
2) He would love to raise up a family with his wife, and kids(beautiful girl/girls, handsome boy/boys).


then he goes: If the "circumstances of life" are to totally prevent a man realizing #1 and #2, where (circumstances of life) could be everything that could hinder #1 and #2 to co-exist together, which would I choose of the two.

I thought within myself for like 3mins, and reply, I would choose #1.
My reasons: As much as #2 would bring its own fulfilment, ive always believed in a happily married man, that I coudn't imagine myself single at 60, that i would want to share my heart and life with someone really special, and that companionship comes before procreation, and that lastly, in todays world, a whole lot of ways are possible to realize #2.

He told me he would choose #2,stating his own reasons: its hard to find a trustworthy woman nowadays as wife, its easy that way for finance management, no need for inlaw palavers, he would still stay hot and available for the "fun-loving girls" etc.

so guys and gals, which would you choose, if you were to make a choice, between #1/#2 and not both.

pls dont divert from the topic. thanks

pls can anyone help me with the lyrics of the song:

imagine that(a whole lot of yoruba words) imagine that, by stylplus

@hot-angel

WHite weddings are for people who didn't get pregnant durring courtship. Finito.

@dominobaby

Lol, hw do u mean?i know white wedding to be d ceremony that takes place n da church n d bride dresses in a white gown.white is meant to signify that d lady is stil a virgin.

Dese days, d ones wu r preg on d wedding day wear cream coloured gowns n no veil.

Pls, are these statements of fact? so that the next time i see a white wedding, i would conclude, im curious pls.

Love is a language
which we all understand,
but in different ways,
from him to her, from land to land.
It sees beyond the surface
and speaks right to the heart,
making it beat at a faster pace,
Its a feeling that never departs.
Many fall in love
and their hearts are broken,
others can't even remember how it started,
each one just has to pay a token.

It doesn't matter who,
it doesn't matter where,
Love's one plus one doesnt make two
for Love endures the test of time.

@CuriousNja

I have met young men that are already divorced by age 25

Serious?

how many years of marriage?

are there no male-Gold diggers too?

let me say mine like this:

Love initially wasnt mean't to have an expiry date, but as Man isnt improving morally, now it does

@Lovely_S
the whole "A Nigerian Boy" stuff just sounded funny to me, thats all,,,,

twould have been better if it was like "this Nigerian guy"

@moyoF

i dey sorry fro the break oh, you see on Friday, Na so this my bobo friend call me say make i come prepare food for am, when i got there i prepared the food,

I like this your bobo friend o, its like he has put something heavy in his mouth so you'll do whatever he says.

ANother thing: realizing you are already:

when my bobo friend talk sometimes i imagine oh, i imagine us making love

lusting after your bobo's friend, didnt you think you could have been carried away, and at the end destroy your relationship with your bobo with your own hands.

darkmanzero is right, you dont love you boyfriend, and at the end, if you fall prey to rumping with his friend, you might find out later you dont love him either, its all L+U+S+T

beware!!