₦airaland Forum

Stillfire:
Lol, I haven't read prior responses but I think I have a clue why I was tagged. I berate our African parents because they don't just know when to let go of their adult child. Adult being the operative word. It has to take the grace of God to get it into their skulls that their child is now grown and you cannot treat them like kids any more.

proudmom38:
Gud evening mamas n happy new month 2 u all...


Pls I need help on dis two things o... 1. I want 2 introduce formula 2 my 4months+ baby. I don't knw which 2 go for between NAN1 n COW & GATE Nutristart.... 2. I want 2 change from huggies diaper 2 any other good n cheaper diaper,as huggies dey tear pocket lol. A friend told me about VIRONY diaper but ve not heard of it b4. Is anybody using it or ve used it? I need ur help n testimony on dis things pls.... Ese lopolopo!

mrsfeyo2:
Hi mums, pls is 8 months too early to start potty training? Wen I put my baby on the potty,she jst gets up and crawls away. And maybe it's jst me o,but I don't remember seeing 1 year plus babies in diapers wen I was growing up. How do u get your baby to stay on the potty and know what it's for? The first time I put her on it,she got up n started playing with it,licking it sorry for the epistle

Keji3:
@hernyolar thank God for you and ur family. You won't have any reason to mourn in Jesus name.

Jesus take the wheels of this country

Pls sabi mamas my lo started cereal last week, my question is how often should i give water now or can i do breastmilk alone for her as water cos this babes doesn't like water at all sometimes i spoonfeed her the water but she won't take more than 2 spoons. Also what other food can i give apart frim rice cereals. Thanks y'all

kendlez:
@Onegai: Thanks a lot. The rashes are tiny and clustered on different parts of his face. Haven't seen my paed yet but hopefully this week (pray I can get fuel by tomoro). Will try the sudocream as u suggested.

@Shewezzy: thanks a million

Hernyolar:
Good day mothers. ..how are the LOs?
Please can I start using a soft tootbrush for my 9months old baby? she has Eight teeth now and I used the baby tongue brush and Cotton wool with paste to clean her teeth before now but I feel it's no longer doing the intended job.
cc nurse kaffy4bill, onegai, tchwinnie and other sabi mamas

damiso:
I am sure they will outgrow it.

Idowu is fine.

damiso:
It seems your daughter and my son are the same. Funny enough he was not fussy as a baby but as soon as he turned 3 he just changed. Like you sometimes I think I am spoiling him by giving him too much variety or allowing him have what he likes( eg chicken and a few other things)Some days he literarily will not eat anything all day because I am trying to 'teach him a lesson' by insisting he eats what I give him. Then I feel bad cos its like am starving him. The boy will rather starve than eat what he does not like. The thing makes me so mad.

Then I remember how I used to not eat breakfast on Saturday mornings cos I hated pap and Akara. And how I hated boiled potatoes and a lot of food my mum had on her 'annoying time table'. LOL

Its tricky but I pray God gives us the grace to get the balance just about right.

tearoses:
LOL @Old school parents

Once mum told me and my hubby to submit our passports to her for safe keeping when we visited Nigeria
I laugh tire that day

When I was growing up I used to swear that I wouldn't be like my parents and will be very cool - No smacking and no telling off

For where . . . . . .

My drama puts patience Ozokwor to shame
I managed the no smacking but I can talk ehn . . . .

The kids eyes are on permanent roll
I can even sense the rolling on the phone

LewsTherin:
Nice one here. It really is difficult to get the balance right. My jewel is just a year old and I am already worried about how I'll handle someone so blastedly headstrong when she gets to her teens (my little girl is as stubborn as 2 rocks and 3 mules!!)

Worse, I don't want to go the exact same route my folks used. They did it right yes but sometimes they overdo it (present tense intended). I've had to take a couple of business trips with my mum and believe me ee no easy. Early this year for example, while in the UK I wanted to go see a couple of old school mates. As at 8pm my mum was already calling to ask why I was still out so late! Dude!! I'm a grown arsed married man who runs a multi million naira business and she's asking why I'm out so late!!

Yes they disciplined us as needed but they didn't let us take decisions on our own early enough. My fear is how to balance that with my kid. How do I keep her on the straight and narrow while letting her make her own decisions and her own mistakes? How do I ensure her mistakes don't burn the world down?

Abeg my old school parents tried no be small.

Ewuro4:
Huh Yimu..

*pulls his moustache* wetin you fit do?

Mindfulness:
If anyone needs to say anything negative about me, I shake it off. It is none of my business and it doesn't change the fact that I love myself.

https://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfxjz5Fa591qcqu60o1_500.gif

Never let anyone's hatred contaminate you. Let it be their own poison, don't feed from it, ignore it.

damiso:
Indeed at Ojo iku lojo isimi

Read sketchy bits of the whole case and again what kept on making me scared was how much work needs to be done on these kids.

I was so disturbed. To think a boy was raised not to think anything was wrong with using another person as an object repeatedly without any remorse and a girl had such low esteem to keep going back.SMH

Now I really really feel my parents

I used to think their own was too much but now I looove and appreciate them.

Mindfulness:
We mean the same thing, I just wasn't clear enough. I should have asked, how is it possible that someone continues feeling attracted to such a person and relationship. Frankly speaking, I would run.

Mindfulness:
I have a different theory. Without being judgmental, there must be something inside of a person to feel attracted to someone like this.
Have you ever heard of the term codependent relationship?

Mindfulness:
Why would people date such people? It is an interesting question, isn't it?

EfemenaXY:
No one is disputing that awareness should take front seat, or that perpetuators of rape shouldn't face the law and be punished. That goes without saying.

And of course no one is claiming that a girl child be policed for the rest of her life either. The point I'm making, hard as it may be to accept is that this girl sugarbelly or whatever obviously lacked that parental guidance during her formative years. Seventeen obviously wasn't the first time she'd had sex was it? But let's keep that aside for a moment.

Those sexual acts she described in such detail in his car - does that sound normal to you? I still remember how I was at seventeen and I certainly hadn't tasted that minefield / partaken in the very adult game called sex.

Bottomline here is this: if she had been closely monitored by her parents from childhood, she wouldn't have had that emotional void which she wrongly assumed could be filled by a man.

She had both daddy & mummy issues.

DollyParton1:
You realise nagging is a form of abuse. Both words and emotional abuse.

Timbuktou:
If the Audu guy is brought to book I would shed no tear. He broke the law, and the only thing keeping him free is the statute of limitations which I believe has expired.

Kimoni, as to why she turned out this way, you can only blame her mothers poor parenting skills. This woman allegedly had numerous boyfriends, probably how she was able to fend for kids, and it's obvious she had no idea what to do in terms of discipline and setting boundaries for her daughter. This is especially clear where the girl claims the mother was well aware of her relationship with th I guy and they even fought about it. Lol. They fought . And then a 17 year old had a 12am curfew. Shege. How the times have changed.

I'm thinking if this is my daughter, I would do all I can to make this dude get his comeuppance, I swear I would, but would that reverse the damage done to my daughter. More importantly, how did my daughter get to that point in her life where she's literally willing to drink from a septic tank to keep a man who obviously doesn't give a hoot whether or not she exists.

What was supposed to be her first line of defence against this cruel world was practically non-existent. Some things are unsalvageable, this is one of them.

Exactly, this is my point.

Outside of the law we can consider so many other factors but the law has to have a benchmark. In Nigeria there are many youths in their mid twenties who still don't know their left from their right. Countless number of 21-23 year Olds have seen worse treatment than Sugabelly disproving that something magical happens at 18 and the kid suddenly 'grows up'. In the face of the law there has to be a distinct line between minors and adults capable of handling responsibility.
The case of rape on the other hand if proved is punishable by law regardless of the ages involved

A very deep question without a straight forward answer. Kids have been brought up in rich homes and still made a nuisance of themselves while others have been brought up with single/abusive parents and channeled the energy to being better persons.

IMO failed parenting is not the only cause or might even be the least of the causes. Peer pressure for example could be another. Sometimes I ask myself what happens between the innocence of a 2 year old and the waywardness of the same person 18 years later. It's not just the parents, the person might even have the best parents. Other factors come into play.

As a parent you can only put in the best in training your kids but as most people say, 'pikin wey wan spoil go spoil'. This is where, for Christians, we pray for God to take control even as we keep being great parents

If APC had tried that they would've gifted PDP more ammo to use against them in court. The guy's image has been tarnished nonetheless.

Timbuktou:
The babe is getting majority ofbthr flak because she was the one who broke the story sounding holier than Mother Teresa, gleefully taunting a family having lost their patriarch, olybforbthe world to realise she was a happy customer the whole time it lasted and even beggeg, begged for more. She made it sound like she was imprisoned when in reality it was a mutual wildness they shared. Do you think if she'd been married to this guy we'd have heard a pip? Would it still not have been a relationship startednon statutory rapè? Bros, this babe is not out for justice, she came for revenge. Sorry, there are others out there who deserve true sympathy, I can't be wasting mine on a perverse brat.

EfemenaXY:
Nice one Damiso - didn't know they'd backtracked on their claims, but even so, I prefer to err on the side of caution. A single egg on it's own is 70+ kcal, isn't it?

I get the bit about taking out the yolk but how many people'll have just the white on it's own? I think that's done when baking (biscuits? Patties?)

Re: the bolded, you got me laughing out loud! Yeah, similar experience here too - almost - but I've got to the stage where I'm completely intolerant of fry-up (unless I deliberately set out to cheat on "shinken 'n schips" Kimoni style)

That aside, on the rare occasions I do decide to have a "fried" egg, I simply crack one open into my non-stick pan a slowly let it cook without a single drop of oil. It comes out looking like, and tasting like a fried egg anyway. Then I sprinkle some black pepper and cress on it to give it that extra "oomph".

I managed to do my 30 mins sit-ups / lower abs workout and a 30 min run, then my lime 'n lemon concoction with cherry tomatoes & some cucumber slices + 1 litre of water for breakfast, but it's hard sister...motivating oneself during the winter months. (sigh).

pickabeau1:
I agree with u

She mixed up perverse sex for love unfortunately it was a game she was not ready for

May there have been some incidences of râpe..i think there was

However the affair was mostly consensual just for the fact she was legally a minor

Tragic...I hear she is in the US

I hope she gets therapeutic help

blog: People condemning sugarbelly should realize she is like most domestic violence victims who never leave that relationship because of love, money or kids..

In her case she was in love. According to all the stories on her blog she was raised by a single mom and didn't have a father figure. Her father was never part of her life. Her mom kept boyfriends of which one of them ended up raping her. That alone has messed up that girl. Ask anyone who was raped as a kid, it's either you grow up resenting men or following them about seeking for validation because of low self esteem..

She suffered from the low self esteem after her first rape ordeal and having no father in her life. This alone will make you clingy to everyone you meet wanting them to love you and doing whatever it takes to make them happy

She was a teenager at 17 with a huge crush on the accused. He swayed her with his play boy style and she fell. Seeing she was head over heels over him, he decided to use her to accomplish his fantasy. He went into an intimate relationship with her, making her love him more. He saw how vulnerable she was. She told him she was raped before by her mother's boyfriend. He saw how messed up she was and how she was all over him and decided to play out his cards. Told his friends and family he has a girlfriend who would do anything to please him and then it all set in

He invites her over, have sex with her and records it without her knowledge. Tells her he would love the cousin to sleep with her and she refused. He beats her up and threatens her with the video. She agrees to it. He apologies later and tells her oh this thing you did just makes me love you so much. She wanting a validation from men and her low self esteem decides to continue saying to herself, if I keep doing this for him, he will never leave me. He will love me forever. And it sets in. She is made to go thru kind of satanic positions and things. And she says I'll keep doing it as long as he would not stop loving me.

You might think that alone is foolish of her but ask people who have never had a father figure not as a result of death but abandonment how they fare. Then couple it with been raped as a kid. You would realize she was just a messed up girl. And the abuser knew. He fuckin.g knew and took advantage of it.

When she realized oh this wasn't working she fled from him. At some point still kept contact with him because she loved him. She hopelessly loved him. And could have continued with their hurtful relationship if he continued promising her

She needs help. She needs a good therapist. She needs to be counseled. Because men would keep taking advantage of her. She would never be in a healthy relationship until her self esteem is restored

blog: At 17,whay a child needs is a mother who can put down her feet and say sit down here. But she didn't have that. Neither did she have a father. Hence her curfew 12am. That alone is bad parenting. How would you allow your 17yrs old girl come in so late. She had no one to guide her and we all know of how such kinds turn out. I don't blame her for it all. I blame her mom for letting her stay out so late. I blame her mom for not putting her mind into what her girl child is doing. I blame Mustapha and his friends for taking advantage of her vulnerability. I blame them for toiling with her emotions, abusing her mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically. I took out time to read her blog and saw how she spoke about it from time to time. I saw where she even mentioned there names as far back as 2008. With tweets with her ordeal.
And we wonder why only 18 rape cases have been solved in Nigeria
That because even your fellow ladies would call you a LovePeddler for putting your self in that equation. The world will come up with stories to defend the accused especially when he is a big shot. I fear the world we live in

Aminat508:
My Special Mother

The Best Mother

Wonderful Mother

True mother

Sweet mother

mamadsquare:
Thanks @missmalachi
I feel so honoured, may she cause you to rejoice over her at all times. I'm tripping for that hair o!

Thank God I didn't miss LBK today, such a cute smile.

I didn't get to see little kimoni

Besea you've got a cute bobo there

Mama atinuke, abeg I fit know the secret to that glowing skin?

@keji3 your baby is cute, she has a face similar to that of a friend of mine from uni days

May God keep them all from harm and they shall live to fulfill destiny to the glorification of God.

opella:
Baby kammy at 10 months. Don't know what he has with this particular slippers, once he wakes up he will go and carry them and keep carrying them around. Lol

MsPat:
Kimoni.....this bobo too get swag a beg ;* DH don get competition o....serious one
modath.....I dey eye DAT bobo too
mumfiyin....hope my offer still stands?


who should I choose now?

zaynie....where atinuke dey na? She dey apply makeup ni?