₦airaland Forum

cancerlib:
The wife never know anything. I was her some months ago.
When hubby and I got married our salary was less than 100k (both), tho he has a side biz. We had plans just like that only for me to proof like regular naija babe, went back on our agreement and proved smart. With d backing of his family of cos, they told me once he see his baby he'll thank me. I went through hell, went through morning sickness and all the aches and pains alone. Wen God go punish me join I had my baby through CS, hubby had only 60k in his account then. The family didn't add a dime, only one of his sis assisted.
One day I was going through his phone and saw his chat with a colleague asking her d cost n procedure of giving birth in d US, he has big plans for his family, never wanted his wife to suffer a bit. His dream has always been for his wife to gv birth abroad. He shut me out, cheated too, he also slept outside when I was 8months, there was always heat in our home. I destabilized him, he ended up working like a jackass, always looking for extra avenue to make money, he grew lean, many times caught him lost in thought, chai I felt so terrible. He hated seen me on bike, he got me a car tho not d type he wished! We went so fast from Romeo n Juliet to strangers. Even till recently, tho he loves his son madly, anytime we need to do something for the boy and he's broke we fight cos he'll be depressed.
My advice, don't get tired of apologizing, d way some men deal with betrayal u go think say na their mama u kill.
D last time we fought, after we calmed down I went to him with a bible to swear to me this issue will not cause trouble anymore cos I can't survive another one. He swore and since then we've bn happy.
I no c any family Wey go come meet me now say e don reach time to gv my son sibling o, dm no fit.
At d end of the day I suffered alone and just spoilt some precious months of our marriage . I regretted my actions and will do things differently if given another chance. We Nigerians don't really know the meaning of Trust and Betrayal.

Shndy, I think you should read this and digest it...

There is no advice anyone here can give you that will surpass that of another woman who made the same mistake and somehow survived it. And good enough, she has been very detailed about how she regained the trust of her husband.

Like she said, the way some guys handle betrayal, you will think they just lost their mother. As outsiders and women who will never take the same route, we may never understand what goes on in their mind and how it plays out. I know some resort to drinking, drugs, hoarding, aggressiveness but cheating is almost strange to me but that won't make me deny it can happen.

Anyways, have a deep conversation with your husband and if possible, have him make a solemn promise to you that it is all over. Let him realise his attitude is also breaking you especially in this delicate situation of yours. Wishing your friend the very best.

Idowuogbo:
Oh yea I loooooove that fine woman die. Oh you missed ooo... walai people like us with special pass to her whatapps dey view correct ebony model. Mehn you need to see damiso's packaging for her sister's wedding,Kai! It's too much. Bae on fleek! Gele - 5 star makeup - 5 star jewellery - 5 star - outfit - Jesu oba iye! ! Murder she wrote... i dey silently ko mama je oo

@damiso

You don buy ya nude lipstick?

.

Dammmitttt

Too bad I'm not on whatsapp. Too much social media is not good for my health

Damiso, how far, I fit come whatsup just to come view this ya fine fina pictures o

Idowuogbo:
*blushing* I swear I love you scata. As in if I am to pick between shoki and you,Nne na you ooo!!! The love I have for you ehn, ndi too much.

don't make damiso jealous o Idowu

Idowuogbo:
Hi sweetie,I loooooove you!!! Original woman!

Love you much much much more babes

Idowuogbo:
Because he is minding his business.com

I see

Idowuogbo:
Oh la la!!!

Na gang things here? Let me mix it up a bit

Hey candy!! Hey chilli!! Kimoni,*in Wendy's voice* Girl, how yu doooooing?

Hehehe Idowuogbo

netotse:
family section? where's that? never heard of it before you're on the man thread now, all other laws stand suspended. In fact sef if you annoy me I will declare you feminist, what nonsense

But come to think of it, I've never seen any of your post on this section except on this thread. Why?

netotse:
Omo dada...you sound like a good submissive woman, go and sin no more

You realise this word is like a "grenade" on family section?

What is Biafra fighting for again?? Where are the Igbo elders? Where are the Ezes'

netotse:
This thread is for the men, by the men etc ati be be lo...this is our watering hole, if she had a question to ask fine, if she had an opinion to drop... fine as well, but to turn this thread into one of the many threads she blessed with the same copy and paste post...nah, that's just wrong. She has not shown adequate respect for the man-cave, she needs to repent.

yes sir!

I'm afraid I agree with this write up...he thought governance in Lagos state was a piece of cake when his focus in his first days in office was to start feeding us with lies on how two naira and ten naira was missing from the coffers of Lagos state during Fashola's tenure. Why has he suddenly stopped telling us about those inflated website cost? Abi water don pass garri ni? Hehehhehehehe yeye dey smell. He nefa hear wain

netotse:
I agree with you on the hindsight thing, but not on the coming here to advertise(that's not an intro), [b]it's probably cause I think she was desecrating the thread though. :[/b]P

if Pickabeau1 had said this, I won't bat an eyelid but coming from you

Aminat508:
was not feeling fine. Just got discharged today sef

No wonder, I bin think say na mb finish o pele dear

Hope you better now?

netotse:
Different strokes...he was wayyyy better at picking his target audience.

Maybe I agree but what I know is, when it comes to thinking outside the box, it's a two edged sword. If you get it right, you become an instant success, a reference point for others but if that same action backfires, it makes you look darn steupid and make people wonder what weed you were smoking. But it's always a chance that is worth taking especially if you are passionate about it.

I won't say the same for people who advertise their products indiscriminately on every thread; that's definitely a distraction, an eyesore and very annoying. Not good marketing at all especially when you see it on every thread. But she has come to a family thread where she believes we have men and women lounging, sipping beer and discussing how to move their businesses and family forward. Not a very bad place to advertise/introduce yourself IMO. And yeah, for starters, it can't be a long introduction else, the post will become very unappealing to the eyes.

coogar:
thanks for the vote of confidence.

Anytime!

netotse:
One of the fastest ways to get a job is to distinguish yourself positively, that's what Alfred Ajani did and sadly that's not what the poster in this case did. There's a huge difference between doing something differently and constituting a nuisance.

Why I asked that question was to determine if the poster was aware that there is a better way to go about it, the way she's going about it isn't different from the many other job seekers on and off NL so I don't agree with your thinking outside the box theory.

I see too many people consistently appealing to something other than interest, passion, competence etc. to get a job and I shake my head. Later they will now come and be saying that there are no jobs in Nigeria. If your approach is wrong you can spend X years hitting your head against the wall.

A friend was at Alcatel in 2008 or so trying to submit his CV to the receptionist and she was doing shakara, he said one man there just got annoyed and called him and told him instead of you to be wasting your time like this just get the HR managers name, go to the nearest post office and use EMS to send your CV to her directly.

A friend that works for a fortune 100 company also used DHL to send her CV to the company HR manager when she was looking for a place to serve for NYSC and was accepted and retained after, babe got transferred to the UK after a couple of years.

A wrong approach can cost an opportunity.

P.S.
you said you would offer her a teaching job, how are you sure that's what she's interested in? there isn't even enough info in her post to show what field she would be interested in and thus have an increased likelihood of succeeding in said field.

P.P.S.
I checked her post history and there's nothing there that suggests that she would be worth the while if I had a job to offer, we're in a country with millions of unemployed and underemployed people, that's not good enough...I'm just being honest here.

In Alfred's case, do you think several workers would not have thought he was constituting a nuisance even as he carried a placard that morning? Standing on the way during rush hour time? In all honesty, what would you have thought yourself if you were rushing to work that day and you saw him?

coogar:
i know what you are thinking......my kind of employer does not harass nubile jobseekers

I believe you

coogar:
it's not what you think.....

What am I thinking?

coogar:
you're right on the money, skimoni.

:Coogs Coogs

netotse:
You're comparing her to this guy? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2728732/That-s-one-way-job-Graduate-holds-sign-advertising-rush-hour-Waterloo-station-s-got-interview.html

Just wait for me, I need to use my computer for this rant, a phone won't do

***drags him back***

Don't post any epistle with big grammar for me except it's on how to cook ayamashe stew with orisirisi assorted meat

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with d rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house. His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't burge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldnt obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife n she takes care of his dad. This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I m not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home. I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all leave together he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother n my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack d girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped cuz she was rude to him n me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills n does other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen. How do I get her gone? [/b]I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother n his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. [b]She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

I laugh in Swahili

True true, you be new bride. Shior

You are about to start your married life in a family house with a brother-in-law and his wife as well as your sick father-in-law and the only thing that bothers you is the maid because she doesn't greet you

Hehehehehe sorry o, madam the madam

Do you have a job? Pls get busy with work such that you won't even have the time to notice who is greeting you or who is not. If you were living alone, who would have taken your clothes off the line?

My dear, get your priorities right. The maid is not yours, face your husband and stop behaving like madam in a house that's not yours.

***modified - I went back to read your post, I honestly think you have bigger issues. You are not even married to him yet and you authoritatively want the maid gone cuz she calls you by name I just hope you don't scatter that family before you finally get married to him sorry for my harsh words oo but you have personal issues you need to resolve asap

netotse:
I have heard of desperate job hunting measures, this doesn't cut it, the adjective I'd use normally isn't polite so I'll leave it there.

Assuming I had a job to give out, from her post, can you tell me why i should consider her? I mean there are hundreds of job seekers to each single vacancy(not even counting my personal friends and people from my village sef), why should I consider her?

Remember that Nigerian guy in UK that got soo desperate for a job he went to stand at the tube entrance with a placard during rush hour? You recall how many offers he got from that singular action? Immediately, I saw the post above, I remembered our UK guy and quite honestly, if I had a teaching job to give, I'll sure consider her for the role. Why do you think a lot of employers took interest in that guy? I can think of several names for it:

- thinking outside the box to get results
- deviation from the norm to get results
- daring to be different to get results

I dare say it's a quality every employer cherishes because not everyone has the guts to pull stunts like this.

And to prove its working, Coogar is already taking interest and about to interview her Coogs, no be so?

TooNoisy and stillfire - please sheath your swords.

3 days non-stop...not good enough

There will be opinions and there will always be counter opinions...it is what it is


Modified - TooNoisy, I can see you viewing - if you can, pls don't respond. Plsss

netotse:
Nah...still doesn't make sense.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures...

coogar:
what CGPA did you graduate with? a copy of your recent picture would also be helpful.

Smh

netotse:
Hi, I'm curious, why do you think this approach would work?

...thinking aloud...a desperate measure maybe

raumdeuter:
Na true oo. We are trying to be modern here and not follow those archaic African culture that was established by African men to subjugate the women

The greatest freedom a woman can find is in divorce

Egbami o

raumdeuter:
I learnt on this forum that when anyone cheats the solution is divorce anyone who doesnt agree is a marry at all cost evangelist.

you are a clown Dayo but some people might be taking this your divorce message seriously ejoor oo

Idowuogbo:
Morning everyone!!!

Excited for the mother n daughter this morning....it will end in praise IN JESUS NAME!! AMEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!

You feeling me babes...it will end in praise!

Waoh! I love my country

olubankemi:
My husband traveled two weeks after our wedding to study in the UK via ptdf scholarship.

During that two weeks of stay in Nigeria, I saw him for only 7days, he was in Abuja processing his documents and allowance.

I went about 9months later to visit.

Love is what matters, you go tire of digging when he finally return, one thing I did then was I got busy too with my MSc here so no time to even miss person.

Bravo!

Onegai:
ore mi, tenkyou o.


No cake nor rice o. I got dressed, painted my face and wore Akpola high heels. Le Husbs looked at me confused and asked "do you have plans because I didn't plan anything o"

Kontinu naa...how and where una come celebrate

On top bed