₦airaland Forum

Herzumpther:
Good morning.

Just like ma'am kimoni suggested I wrote a letter before I slept I then dropped it in his car. He left for work by 4 because he has some suspect he is taking to court this morning. He sent me a text saying "Herz, I don't hate you or your friend, just remove your mind from there and go for a man from the east or somewhere else. I am your father and I want the best for you. You don't know the Yoruba's. I dont want to see him but if you insist I see him then no problem, I will see him but it really won't change anything. We will talk more when I return and please cook banga soup and pounded yam for me".


I think I'm beginning to understand his fears/why he is saying a big NO........now I understand.......well people can't be the same but it will take a long time to make dad see that.

Good morning everybody.

Woke up to this cheering news. You have done your part, let Lakes too do his part, after that just commit it all into God's hands and let His will be done. What will be will surely be, it can get delayed but not denied.

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] That's it then...the knotty issue why your dad won't allow you marry your guy...He's a crime fighter, he's seen horrible stuff on his beat that you wouldn't believe...then there is the small matter of a dear friend's daughter beaten to an inch of her life by her yoruba husband...Its no brainer, your guy wont make a dent on popsie's mind even if he brings his family to beg,we believe it will boil down to the point of "over his dead body"..damn. [/color]

Hmnnnn, I am assuming from your post above, the only bad guys he has seen from his vast experience are from the West, he has never met any criminal from the East and no Igbo man that he has heard of has ever beaten his wife?? Hence, he will never change his mind because of this perception. Really

babyosisi:
You must be there o
You can't be absent,incase your father decides to bring out his shotgun
Your presence will make him leave it in the holster

As forceman concern!

Herzumpther:
I am expecting a visitor or .......but he is not coming to see me. I'm not sure I will want to be at home when he comes, I will just stay in church.

Hehehehhehe

This my babe sef, you too funny. Where are you running to? Why will you want to stay away in church?

You should be in your room skabasshing while the talk is going on.

You will most likely not be present during the discussion actually.

Herzumpther:
Do you think he should just wait a bit? Maybe when he returns from his trip in April as hr intends traveling next week? Do you think my dad will be disappointed in me if he should come? I mean on Sunday? Do you think I should talk to dad again? The thing is I'm scared, maybe I should wait a bit.

Herz, good move.

I just thought of something now. Can you write a letter to your your dad? Pour out your heart to him in that letter. Start by telling him how much you love and respect him and will never want to offend him as he is ur hero bla bla

Then tell him the hood qualities of this guy and how you much you believe he will make him(your dad) happy by taking care of you. Be detailed about his good qualities. You have sold the guy to everyone here with a few lines, write much more in the letter and sell him to your dad.

Lastly, beg him for a chance to at least meet with the guy on Sunday and let the guy prove himself to him.

I won't want a situation where the guy will bump into your dad on Sunday and things will get very nasty. This might just deter the guy, to stay away completely, not because he doesn't love you but because he loves you enough not to be a stumbling block between you and your dad. He will rather live with the pain of losing you than cause trouble in your family.

Some guys are like that and I will probably do the same too.

All the best love.

Wheeew

Thanks mods

But do the owners of the real life issues on this thread really want their personal details on FP? I don't think so

Amuga:
Thank you op for creating a thread like. My younger sister is my major concern for now, someone may say this is a thread for personal issue, but since she is not an active member on nairaland i had to write on her behalf.
Her fiance happen to be in southAfrica and he came in november last year. They did their introduction that same month and the wedding is to take place in july.
The bone of contention is a lady tagged him on facebook that both of them are engaged and from her name she is a southAfrican lady. my sister confronted him and he agreed he knows the lady but want to use her to get something but they are not married. my younger sister and i that know about this and to make matter worse she is already pregnant for him. Hope he is making her his Nigeria wife?

@ the bolded- Who is the she you are referring to here? Your sister or the South African lady?

Evina:
:oo
I don't even know why Nigerians love the UK that bad. How can one leave a really good job in Nigeria and relocate to the UK? I just don't get it. With all the crazy taxes! I even prefer Canada to the UK.

You just hit the nail on the head! 50% of your earnings as taxes It's crazy!

mukina2:
ahwell

game over

goal

We are United!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

edwife:

Ntor!!!!!!!!!

Throw that gif away

Updated - before I finished typing, another goal was in


We are United!!!!!!!

I will so tell ehnn

I'll put myself in my mum's shoes, would I love to know the truth or not? And yes, I love people telling me the truth no matter how hard or difficult it might be. Hence, coming from that perspective, I will do the same thing and tell my mum.

Big YES

Infidelity is not just sleeping with somebody else, it's an embodiment of several other vices.

It involves:

- betraying that person you promised to love
- lying to your partner
- cheating on a loved one who has done no wrong
- risking the life of the other person for your own 5-mins enjoyment
- being selfish about the time and money spent on multiple partners
- giving out what solely belongs to your partner to others
- setting bad examples for the kids
- risking the joy and peace of the family for selfish gains
- destroying the values of the partners you are sleeping with

Now, how can somebody be all this and he/she would be called a good husband/wife?

Herzumpther:
Yes ma'am kimoni I'm sure.I've never been so comfortable with even my closest friend the way I am with him. I know him. I know him to a very good extent too.I can stand hard times times with him. We understand each other. His family has no problem with me, they are not tribalistic and they are strong Christians. They don't marry more than one, they are simple and very loving.

Telling him is what I plan to do if I get the courage to pick his call. I'm tired of keeping it too.

Yes dad has Yoruba close friends, his second closest friend is a Yoruba man and he is married with one wife alone. Happily married Gan.

Asking my dadto meet with him might be a bit hard but I will try talk to him about it. I will also talk to him as you advised.

Great that you feel this way towards him and you can vouch for him to a large extent. And it's a bonus he comes from a good fam.

Pls pick your guy's call and speak with him. Have a heart to heart talk with him. I believe your dad will come round eventually but you need your guy to stand by you through this troubled times.

This is your first baptism of love and you won't give up on trur love. **hugz**

Herzumpther:
My daddy is a very hard person when it comes to changing his decisions. The only person that changes his mind is my grandpa (His father). Right now grandpa is very sick and I doubt if he will be able to recognize me or hear me well. He is 136 Years old and hardly hears well these days plus his everyday sickness.

Mum has tried but for now no way. I also reported to his sisters but yet he is still standing his ground saying Yoruba's marry plenty and he doesn't want me to be maltreated.

Herz, first thing is to ask yourself if you are sure this is the guy you truly want to spend your life with? The guy says he has inner peace with you, do you feel the same thing with him or you still have doubts? Do you love him enough to go through the good times and bad times with him? Do you have that conviction that he is truly the man you want to marry?

You say he is based abroad, do you know him well enough? His likes and dislikes? What you can stand about him and that you cannot endure? Ask yourself these questions first and be convicted with your answers.

Once you are sure he is the one, pls tell him the challenges you have. Open up to him about your dad as you guys' relationship is now on another level. Ask him for his own opinion and what he thinks is the way forward since your dad has issues with his tribe. I expect him to proffer solutions on how you can both change his mind.

Do you know about the guy's family? Is it true that in his family, they marry more than one wife? Or the divorce rate is truly high? These are part of what you should discuss with your dad. Explain to him your guy's family is not like that and you see no reason why his own marriage to you will be different. Beg him to at least meet with your guy and question him about any fears he has.

Has your dad got close friends from the west who are happily married that can speak with him and use their own marriage to allay his fears? Or a priest from the West he respects a lot, or even from another tribe but not a tribalist?

Finally, your dad is a Christian, explain to him that ultimately, this is the man you know God has destined for you and you will not like to miss the will of God for your life

Chillisauce:
I loved the salmon fumee in pizza.
Salmon is fish, so we can exchange with our smoked fish. just remove the skin and shred it

Smh you're something else

Chillisauce:
In shop rite .I dunno.
You can do it your self. You can cut your meat very tiny. You can also use smoked fish. Just improvise

I trust you now Chilli, you go improvise sharp sharp

Herzumpther:
OK. Thanks.

Hertz, you can get all in Nigeria but guess what? In Naija, they are luxury foods or items and so unduly expensive compared to how much you get them abroad. The margin placed on these items are never worth it to me esp now that the exchange rate is over the roof. Those overhyped "gigantic" naija shopping malls have never appealed to me, I no just dey near there at all.

But if you've got enough dough to spend sha, why not? go all out for it but if not, don't bother or just make it an occasional treat

Shiningmama:
Honestly, life is so cruel to people like me. If not for these lovely kids I would have speak to m legs. But I can't Leave them and he won't allow me to go with them. Atimes when I am crying, my daughter will be wiping my tears with her hand telling sorry

Dear, pls pls and pls don't let your children see you cry ever again talkess of them wiping your tears. This picture of you crying might not leave their memory for years to come and might affect them negatively. God forbid. Children don't forget things like this easily.

Pls hold yourself and always be cheerful whenever they are around. By now, you should have stopped crying but whatever it is, pls don't cry in their presence ever again. God bless.

I am not also down with giving her all the physical cash at a go esp before the 40-day prayers, this can cause a lot of brouhaha and the whole thing can disappear in an instant.

I'll say the family should be given some form of financial assistance for the 40day prayers after which someone inhouse should sit with the mother to understand her next steps and help to establish her in whatever trade she wishes to engage in. This discussion would take place after the 40day day prayers though.

RIP DJ

@customised87 - congrats dear. Man proposes, God disposes. The most important thing is that you and ur baby are fine. God bless our little angel and kisses to him.



Once the water breaks, even if there are no contractions yet, one should proceed to the hospital immediately cuz the risk of infection to the baby is quite high at that point as the sac is now open.

Eumaca:
@Kimoni, thanks a lot. So there is no cause for alarm?

No, none at all. It's just a way of nature getting your body prepared for true labour.

Eumaca:
Pls beautiful mamas what could be the cause of menstrual cramps in 36+ weeks?

False labour I guess, or called Braxton hicks that's if it comes and goes on its own

hajarahbadmus:
my sister this one no false o! I only feel better standing and walking than lying down or sitting down..
thanks for the advice. will keep u posted..
the pain has come again o!!! see u later

Lol...ndo my sister. Na the real thing true true

It shall be easy with you by God's grace. Just be strong, pray hard and face it. **hugz**

hajarahbadmus:
I have packed d bags o! its like menstrual pain. hosp ke! not now o! lemme wait till afternoon to c how I progress make dem no send me back house
thanks for d prompt response hun.. I feel better. God bless u

Pls check the timing of the contractions, if it continues to get shorter, more severe and consistent, pls head to the hospital immediately.

Also, if you change position and it gets better, it might be false labour. True contractions do not go away no matter your position. But at 39 weeks, I suspect it's true labour coming.

Congrats in advance!

@drafrican - I agree with all the points you raised here. The screaming woman was just being intimidating with several unproven allegations. She is a typical bully.

@ochioraumu - Pls take heart and don't let this get to you too much. See the light at the end of the tunnel - your baby. Your baby being born in Nigeria does not take any thing away from what he/she will become in life. God knows you tried your best on this but since it's not working out, try and forget the disappointment and focus on that which is most important. You and your baby.

It is well with you.

DisGuy:
pre-elemsia baby came 4 weeks early - baby in neonatal 2days now mother in another ward under watch

Daddy is doing kangaroo bonding

Glory be to God

It is well with them. Baby will be fine soonest. Enjoy!

May his soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.

**Sad sad sad** He so much wanted to live but God knows best.

cutiereborn:
My dear, you know ftp. Person go try do everything wey them tell am, so far na for the well being of the LO. Gud to know I can fully resume my garri soaking.

Lol...Better to be safe actually. Soak all the garri you want mama but biko, try and balance it with some good protein. Baby needs a balanced diet from you o

Herzumpther:
I also had chips and chicken along side.

pizza, turkey and chips ordered for me by a friend.

I ate the fish outside last night.

Hertz baby, all dis food you are sharrrrrinngggg diarriissss God oooo

cococandy:
Oya
Where's odillz?
Una manage o.
Party style jollof rice n fried meat On behalf of herzumpther

I used firewood too

Waoh! Thanks Coco, You are a babe of ur words true true **thumbs up**

Chilli, wey you abeg, before I demolish this plate

cococandy:
coming....

I believe you