₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Notice the link you posted also indicate the jobs pay well as opposed to just receiving the change(tip)?

The jobs don't offer financial assistance to the family do they? no do they feed the employee and their siblings!

Ishilove:
A 13 year old can get employed where??

Running errands in the neighborhood is something a 13 year old can do.

By the way, can you help me with the link to African collections?

Really glad he's going to face justice. Hopefully, it will be death by hanging!

Teachmehow:
The below is the image..

Pay to below opay

8091344515

were!!!

Satazaa:
wow this is hilarious, point is how does being proficient in solving this makes you a successful person in life, I personally has never seen a mathematician multimillionaire

olodo...go to banks, investment banks, Central banks, etc.. Who the fvck do you think is coming up with the algos and mathematics for predicting sell and buy?
Don't play, you'll learn. And you'll learn the hard way!

eniolorunfe:
I get you… na to lock up sure pass.

Person wey get mind to send[b] 5/6 children[/b] to person house at once, still get mind to refuse one of the kids to help you when you had a need. This shows that the relationship is one-sided. You really don’t need that kind of friendship.

My parents would call them Battalion

Kobojunkie:
1. OP could simply have sent the kids back home -- the end.

Thankfully, the OP has more conscience than the woman to know that it's not the kids fault.

I originally saw in her OP that she has mentioned giving them monetary compensation but knowing how things work in Nigeria , I had immediately assumed she meant giving them a tip which is nothing like actually paying for service rendered. For a minute there I thought I was wrong but here you confirmed it that Op was only giving them her change and not in fact paying for the service.

Look, if you call on the neighbor to let her son help you mow you lawn or deliver goods for you, you better be ready to state upfront how much you will pay or your risk damaging a good friendship by suggesting what you will give is your change or a meal.

Even in the West, I know for sure that it doesn't always involve money. Parents often get their child to help babysit for their friends. So, this "she must pay for the services rendered" argument holds absolutely no water. Plus, don't forget, the two ladies are "friends."

3. Rubbish! Who goes on errand for Naira 5 in this day and age? At least promise the kid Naira 50/per errand or Naira 100/hour. -\

I meant that figuratively. Again, if both parties are friends, and one party is already a beneficiary to other incentives, which cost money, who in their right mind, will demand that the OP should pay the child for the errand. The mobile device, according to the OP, that the woman is currently using, belongs to the OP.. Nobody with a good conscience will demand for pay, for a once in a while something.

4. Op wasn't forced into this according to her so stop asking this IDP camp nonsense! She opened her home to them is why.

Aha! That's why my new motto is if they don't ask, mind your business. Even if they ask, na who go help you, I go help.

Let somebody not later tell me that "I didn't ask you for your help" just like a therapist was told yesterday on Twitter by an abused woman she was paying 30k every month so she got back to her fit. Now, will the therapist bother assisting any woman in future? Come on!!!

She's only giving it out cux she's scared.

Kobojunkie:
1. The mother has a right to change her mind.

This was not communicated to OP. The woman's daughter relayed the information. It's okay to send her 6 children to go and eat dinner at "aunties" place, but the line is drawn when OP askes for a common courtesy?

Is OP running an IDP camp?

2. I am afraid I didn't see her state that she compensates the kids for their errand service offered. Where is this comment?

Here you go:

do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok. what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ? https://www.nairaland.com/7884131/may-wrong-wanting-end-friendship#126519152

3. I am against the part in bold since that would not be how I would phrase it if I were asking for help with promise to pay for the child's time and service.

That's not what I meant. You can send the child and still go "Junior, take 5 Naira, thanks for coming."

4. Op should call up the friend and ask why the change of mind. Simple!

Nah! OP is not an IDP camp! Neither is she the one who needs help raising 6 kids.

wunmi590(m): 5:06pm On Oct 20



the other small child confirmed that the mother said it. she has been calling me due to her conscience biting her but i won't pick her calls.

I'm not a fool. I wish you good with all my heart but you want to use your children to do wicked against me in your heart.

May be she feel the way you have been sending her children on errand is getting too much, but she's doesn't know how to tell you, she decided to do that through the kids, but she guffed...

Just let it slide, that shouldn't stop you from helping the children if they need your assistance, at least the kids likes you and are kind enough to tell uou what their mother said....

Let love lead

Which basturd love??

Kobojunkie:
And now the mum says no more permission so why is she incensed?

Look, from personal experience, unless you are in a wheel chair or are offering a child some sort of job where you pay him for his service or something, it is a tad debasing to ask your friend if you could send his kid out on a personal errand.

The woman did not say no, kobo. She said yes, but didn't allow the girl to go. You see, that's the difference here. Why lie? This is what troubles the OP.

Kobojunkie:
1. No be Nigeria we dry talk about again where kids are free to roam on their own sometimes?

2. If I am not offering the kid a part-time gig or paying for the service, I would do it. Friendship with the parent should not be construed as right to the friend's kids.

The OP has also stated, that she compensates the kids any time she sends them on errands.

You guys are arguing based on this "ore, send your child over i want to send them on errand," when she probably said, "please, can you send you child over let him help me with something."

If the so called friend can tell her "yes" to her face, but went behind to with a different answer, this should warrant the OP to evaluate their relationship. To me, it seems like a parasitic one, which isn't so uncommon.

Jennyclay:
I hate Nigerian men!!

I hate Nigerian men!!

I hate Nigerian men!!

As a matter of fact I hate men generally!!!

Bunch of murderers and rapist!!!!

Nigeria men commit one of the least crimes against women in the whole of Africa... 😁

SINisSIN:
Imagine bruv...see what people are saying here na. People who help too much always receive insults later expecially when you don't have resources to help again. Reason why YOU should always comes first.

You're my friend and I can't benefit anything from you but you always open hands to receive always from me and some dudes here are saying trash. Friend is different from a random person.

Reason why rich move with rich. They don't want poor people drama.

I watch something on YouTube last week that changed my perception about helping people you have some form of relationship with.. They say charity in such situations is in several phases.

"If you give something to somebody once, you’ll get appreciation. You give it a second time, you’ll create anticipation. If you give it a third time, you’ll create expectation. If you give it a fourth time, you’ll create entitlement. If you give it a fifth time, you’ll create dependency." - - https://verbalbreakdown.medium.com/from-appreciation-to-resentment-80669551f1db#:~:text=If%20you%20give%20something%20to,%2C%20you'll%20create%20entitlement.

Came across this on YouTube at firat about 4 days ago... 😁 😁 Every thing finally made sense..

I’d like to start this off with a quote from a book by Dr. Robert Lupton called Toxic Charity,

“Giving to those in need what they could be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindest way to destroy people.”

henrimoto:
..that is why i said, going forward, Ginaz should tread with caution and wisdom when dealing with mother and the children.

No, she'd still feel pity and continue to dish out money. How do you know if the friend isn't just pushing the relationship because of th e things she hopes to gain? you think only the rich use people?

henrimoto:
Ginaz, Calm down pls. Pick her call, hear what she has to say. Going forward, deal with caution and wisdom with her and the children.

Hear what she has to say, if it happens she apologized or try to explain what happened, let her know how you feel .

Ginaz!, Let it slide, you don't need to let bad energy build up around you.

so that she will continue to vampire her resources abi? on top pikin wey she no born?? What is ginaz going to gain from the situation-ship?

SINisSIN:
Some people are just saying nonsense here. What is the essence of friendship if I can't benefit from you. Friendship is give and take.

We have friends that we should benefit from each other and we have people we can just help without looking for any assistance from them.

But a friend that we see daily and communicate daily with should always be there for each other.

Sending her kids to get little stuffs within the street is not a bad thing and the op is not asking for too much help from her friend.

All these people saying bla bla, if you called someone your friend and you're the only the giver in the so called friendship, won't you get tired?

Op just stay on your lane abeg...some people are not blessed with friends and if you force it, you will regret bitterly later.

My brother, "helo with a clean mind" is a naija man technique for exorting you dry. They will abandon you as soon as things go south. Believe you me, my old man was in the very same spot. gifting out money and even connecting people with jobs. We used to have people visit us per second per second.. the moments pocket dry, booomm.. everybody disappear.. 🤣🤣🤣


Even people that he helped raise through school no dey pick him call.. If the people you help aren't going to help you back, why don't i just save my resources for a stormy day....

Kobojunkie:
Come try that here without first getting consent from the parent, and see how it ends for you.

Which is why she called the mum, isn't it?

Nicepoker:
Go give birth to your kids so they can assist you.

Hahahahaha.. Why doesn't the woman with six kids also get job, so that her kids don't have to be going to someone's house for daily bread?

Nicepoker:
Go give birth to your kids so they can assist you.

Hahahahaha.. Why doesn't the woman with six kids also get job, so that her kids don't have to be going to someone's house for daily bread?

Ginaz

I think the notion of....

"We need to learn to help others with clear minds not because of what we might want from them in future."

is UTTER BULLSHIT.

You are not obliged whatsoever to help anybody. They've made the decision themselves to sire all those kids. 6?? and the oldest is 13? For fvk sake!!!!

I see you even compensated them for running errands in the past,even though you still assist them in other ways.

I don't get why people are saying "you shouldn't have called the mother to semd the kids on errands," I think that too is UTTER Bullshit..

The first born is completely capable and can lawfully get employed- running such kind of errands is something teenagers in the west do to earn money. That's what differentiate a black man from white man sha.

Black man feels entitled to your hard earned money, and will come back later to tell you that "I didn't ask for your help"..

Abeg, they were surviving before you met them. Leave them! Since they don't want to turn their child to houseboy, they shouldn't also turn you to their "helper."

Africans and the silly notion of "Help someone with clear mind," What the fvck does that even mean? Is there such a thing? Help without motive? abegi!!!

dominique:
There's nothing wrong with you sending her children on errands, you crossed the line when you called her specifically to send her child on errands. We need to learn to help others with clear minds not because of what we might want from them in future.

Was she supposed to send the child of another without the consent of the parent? Or was she supposed to berge into her house and ask the girl directly to go on errand without informing the mum? Is the child independent? We are not talking adults here, are we?

Bro, never do such a thing. Unless you have a lot of savings... lIke a lot.

Naija man, the one with the least self esteem amongst them all... I wonder what the stats on the crime against women will be among this countries


mod:

Well, well, well, what do you know, it seems Nigeria has one of the lowest gender based violence against women.... Hmmmmmmm.... We are actually top tier in Africa...
https://mo.ibrahim.foundation/research-spotlight-20-covid-19-and-africas-governance

Johncables402:
What nonsense is this ? A Ghanaian throwing shades at Nigeria on a Nigerian forum Wonders shall ever end. Dunce, Ghana is nothing, very poor people who need nigeria money to survive . What sane environment when we give you electricity and aid? What a dunce. Nigeria is not doing good now with APC but don't ever compare us with a backward and poor country like Ghana

bu wa wa wa wa ..... I laugh at your foolishness.

Johncables402:
Foolish talk. Why would the UK be visa free to South Africa and Namibia when those people don't even make them money by travelling there. Nigerians are the biggest travellers in Africa and we are richer than those shittholes and we side with UK with politics unlike the hateful South Africa who side with terrorists and Russia. Nigeria also has historic ties with England not Germany and Netherlands. And we are more hardworking and smart.

they are just finding intelligent ways to belittle Ghana, forgetting that Ghana, two years ago host the "Home return" which was honoured be several powers of the west. We provide a sane environment, where our president doesn't engage in supplying goods through dubious means.

etrange:
Probably not. A country isn't made visa free in silence. And you don't accidentally see it when booking a flight. It's usually announced so the public will be aware ahead of time. And there is no such announcement anywhere. It's not on the UK visas immigration service website, it is not VFS Global website, it's not on Ghana immigration service website and no Ghanaian I know has mentioned it in person or online. So before you jump into cursing your own country at every opportunity, take some time to investigate the news.

Even if it's true, it's not a surprise that Ghana would get that privilege first. It's a small country with a population of about 35m ans only a small percentage of that population can afford to travel to Europe. So the risk of allowing them a 30 day stay without visa in a foreign country is little compared to Nigeria that could easily overwhelm the host country due to our population.

Talk like as if that is the only reason. You know deep down what it is.

Boondocxs:
Stop bringing God into this, he not the one telling two people to kill themselves

Should I pull up biblical passages?

So where are the leaks?

Little21:
This what happens, when the men's we have now says they can't resist "something new".

Can't believe the pain the kid would be feeling. It's just too sad....

the way I'm feeling right now, I can actively partake in delivering jungle justice...

The man's lawyer even what the case out of court and settle behind closed doors. Like what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If that woman agrees, then they should burn her too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A user from X app(Formerly Twitter), @EverythingMai_ reported that a man Pig from Delta state raped a 4-year-old girl, and uses[b] scissors [/b] to tear the girl open before committing the crime.

Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ishilove:
And bless you too! I too have been browsing through so many books, I don't even know where to start from

hey, aunty Ishilove, it seems that link is no more.... the African collection.

hopefulLandlord:
I'm an atheist but I will never tell law enforcement agents like Police my atheism. I just tell them I'm a Christian and that usually shuts down further discussions on that. While I do understand your telling immigration your stand be be very wary of telling policemen especially when you're at their mercy. You'd never know if they're religious extremists or fundamentalists who believe killing you for your stand is doing their Lord's work

who in the hell takes such a risk?

hahah!!!

That's why they collect stolen moneys in church aswell. This is their excuse.