₦airaland Forum

@Bona305,
Call me for that.

There is no lack of good business ideas on this forum.
There are tons of sound ideas here to explore by any serious minded investor.
The problem is that the average Nigerian has a get-rich quick mindset and is looking for an idea that will make him a millionaire overnight.

Do not rely on certificates.
In addition, acquire a skill that solves problems.
People pay for solutions, not your certificate.

Be careful how you criticize a Man of God!
It is dangerous as God can curse anyone who does that.
And if God Himself curses you,who can reverse it?
'Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm' is a commandment in the Bible.
Leave the judgment of a Man of God/Ministry to God.
No one is perfect oh!
Appreciate,do not condemn or destroy.

If you can take the risk in an offline business that has a large ready made market, visit the signature below www.johnayodele. to assess the risks and workability of the business idea.

Chicken farming is sensitive business.
Get further valuable insights from the signature below,www.johnayodele.

Very easy bros.
Set up a free blog.Costs nothing to do that.
Sell something like knowledge of what you know that Nigerians are interested in.
That is it. Have nothing to sell online,no money to be made.

Very easy to make N40k a month from an investment of N10k
1) Go to a casino and gamble with your N10k
2) Buy/hire a gun and do...
3) Invest in your own 'wonder bank' for a 400% monthly return
4) Try a HYIP
5) Try M.L.M those ones focusing on recruitment

Obviously,he cannot defend it because he is not a farmer.Information marketing does not make one a farmer.Real farming experience does.
Am absolutely sure he is one of those armchair farmers who have no knowledge and experience yet parade as consultants,misleading people.
Am waiting for his defense.

The post above was lifted from my poultry blog (signature below) and was not credited to my blog.
That is plagiarism!

Loving,wonderful,loyal dog.
Dogs are more faithful to their owners than women are to their husbands!
Many women adulterers right under the husband's nose when he's still alive.
Women and especially wives, are you listening?

Depends on the understanding existing between you.
My wife was unemployed when we married in Nov.97
Our daughter, born in Dec 98 got the best attention as a result.
My wife was able to attend to the baby full time and breastfed her(without any supplement) for one & half years.
Even today, my wife is glad and appreciates the fact that she had that opportunity to give her that level of care.
Our daughter is 14 now and was ill only once in her life and she recovered within 3 days.
My wife is employed now,over 12 years in employment but no additional baby has come since.
That is our own experience.
There is nothing wrong in your case as long as it is temporary and your husband fills the gap meanwhile.

Marriage is a school from which no spouse ever graduates until death. This is because marriage as a divinely created institution is a lifelong contract between two persons-a man and a woman- who have agreed to live together as husband and wife till death do them part. Marriage is a two-some contract between a man and a woman. It is also a three-some covenant between the man, the woman and God the creator.

Of all human relationships, marriage is the most unique form which brings together two personalities from different social, spiritual, intellectual and emotional backgrounds. Psalm 139:14 says that man is fearfully and wonderfully created which means that there are no two persons that are exactly alike.

It takes much time to be able to learn and accommodate the other spouse’s likes and dislikes, tastes and preferences. It requires the grace of God, knowledge and wisdom to adjust and blend in with the differences for a harmonious coexistence. In marriage, there is always something new to learn and the marriage curriculum can never be exhausted. No one knows it all except God. For the spouses, the more they learn and can apply the better for the marriage.

For the tips that you need to move your courtship and marriage forward,visit relationship4growth..com

Proofreading and editing is a goldmine in Nigeria.
Many Nigerians are writing books and many books are begging for the attention of proofreaders.
I came across a book written by a Nigerian graduate. The English was bad, horrible and I would not have believed it was written by a graduate, if the author had not placed his picture on the back cover. He has a degree or diploma in Mech.Engineering.The book was neither edited nor proofread before it was released into the market.The best writers make mistakes and a writer cannot easily see his own mistakes due to bias.But another party,the proofreader can see better.A badly written book is a dent on the author's image which will cost much more to correct later, if possible.
I am an EzineArticles.com certified writer and have writing, editing and proofreading skills.Go to www.proofreader01. and read an extract of the Introduction in the said badly written book in the blog post.For proofreading and editing services or training, get contact details from the blog above.

Day old is the best and most economical but the more stressing and riskier venture. it requires experience,skill and the right logistics in handling them especially in the initial 6 weeks,else many may die.Raising day olds, u have to be observant to know when they are uncomfortable and adjust the heating appropriately. One of the issues to watch out for is stampede.
You have to know when a stampede is occurring,what makes it occur and how to reverse it when you see it likely to occur.If not,many may die and you will be wondering what went wrong.The initial 2 weeks,you have to maintain very close watch over them especially at night.
Point-of-lay are grown birds that will begin to drop eggs within 2-4 weeks.Many starters prefer point of lay because it eliminates lots of stress.However,where you are buying them from matters.If you buy unhealthy point-of-lay chickens, u will regret it because either they die or poor production.And you will have expended much resources before the ugly effects come up.More details at www.johnayodele. Before buying point-of-lay,there are important issues to consider.Please,engage a trained eye,either a vet,livestock consultant or experienced farmer to go with you.Chicken selection is not a thing any layman can do.Buy point-of-lay birds,even day old birds from reputable sources.Not every farm selling or advertising them is a credible source.Any day,the best is the day old if you can cope.

There is an Association of Waste Managers that you should visit to get the updates
There office is at 4 layiwola street,off kudirat abiola way,oregun ikeja,lagos
Waste management in lagos is a franchise arrangement whereby a private person partners with LAWMA to move waste.
Either LAWMA or the Association of Waste Managers,start from there to get the full updates.

In several posts on this forum,i have stated very clearly that HYIP Schemes are all scams
Also,that many of the MLM Companies operating in Nigeria are scams.
it has been explained how to identify a genuine and a scam MLM business before registering with any.
Nigerians will never learn!

The luxury car and the owner's wealth is not the issue
The issue is that the woman's lust/greed for money which she is ready to get by any means if her husband can not provide it.
The issue is a desire to live above her means.
The issue is a desire to extra matrimonial affairs in marriage

If it will be temporary,Ok no problem with that.

If this story is true then this husband is not a man.
A husband who cannot protect his wife is a weakling.
A sister-in-law has no right to be taking soup from the wife's pot without the wife's permission.
It is the husband's duty to create and enforce boundaries that protect the privacy of the marriage,especially the wife's privacy.
How can a husband be beating his wife for his sister? A husband who beats his wife in order to create an impression before his sisters is a weakling of a man,not fit to be a husband.
A husband who comes charging at his wife because of his sisters'report,without verification, is a baby.
A husband who places his relations above his wife does not understand the leaving and cleaving of Genesis 2:24.

Poster
Since your husband is like that, unable to protect you,i suggest you be calm because you may lose out eventually and become a divorcee.
You cannot resist your inlaws without your husband's support.If you continue to do that you can easily be thrown out and even your parents will blame you.African wives are largely seen as the extended family's general servant and many african husbands want to be in the good books of their relations,therefore prefer to oppress their wives so long as it pleases their relations.

Though its very wrong that your sister-in-laws access your stew pot without your permit,allow them.If the stew finishes in one day,its their brother's money that will prepare another not yours.If that is the way your husband wants his home to operate,allow him.The girls could be acting for their mother,taking direction from her to confront you.it happens a lot in many homes.Allow them have their way.Be calm and respect them.Show love to them and treat them as your own sisters.One day the sisters will get married and will reap the fruit of their misbehaviors to you.What you are seeing is what many wives are seeing elsewhere.You are not alone.

The inlaw issue is one of the 8 major problem areas in marriage.Actually,a man cannot cut off his relations because he married a wife,neither should a man breakdown his marriage because of his relations.It lies largely on the husband to maintain a cordial relationship with his wife and between the marriage and the extended family.Many husbands are too weak or immature to handle the extended family.The link below is an article from my blog which deals with the inlaw problem in marriage and how to handle them.
please visit the link and try to adjust for the sake of your baby's future.I wish you the best.
http://maritalsuccessresource.com/?p=81

As a christian,i will forgive her from my heart and carry on with her and the marriage if she is remorseful and willing to go on.

The parents are to be blamed
Female circumcision is best done in hospital if it must be done.

Marriage was created as an institution that will last forever as long as the couples live on Earth. It is a life-long commitment to each other by a man and a woman who agree to live together in holy wedlock as husband and wife. It was designed to be a covenant that must not be broken.

Across the world today, there is a high and increasing rate of divorce. Many more marriages are already stressed being endured rather than enjoyed. The reasons are not far-fetched because countless books have been written by too many authors and all kinds of reasons have been advanced to explain the tragedy.

This article however lays the blame on the man/husband on three major grounds as follows:

1) The man as the head of the home:

The man/husband is the divinely ordained head of the home and wife. It is a huge responsibility which goes beyond mere sexual intercourse with his wife. To whom much is given, much is expected. Many men have failed woefully in the discharge of their responsibilities as the head of their homes and marriages. The creator of marriage, The Almighty God holds husbands to account for whatever happens in the marriage.

We can recall from the Bible that when our first mother Eve sinned by eating the forbidden fruit, it was our first Father, Adam that God questioned and blamed directly for the lapse or negligence that resulted in the disobedience. It may not have been Adam's fault that his wife fell into the temptation but directly, the woman was not questioned though she was also punished.

In our world today, the husband should take the blame for whatever goes on in his home for example where the wife is unhappy or the children are delinquent. It may not have been the man's fault but he takes the blame because he is the head of the home and is expected to go the extra mile to ensure that the marriage conforms to the divine injunctions.

2) Leaving and Cleaving:

Biblical, the man is expected to leave his father and mother and to cleave unto his wife and thereby become one flesh. this means that the man(also the woman) must break all the parental bonds and ties that existed before the marriage which can hinder the total involvement and establishment of the couples in each other. The man has a greater responsibility to ensure that cleavage takes place.

The failure to abide by this scriptural injunction is the root of most marital crises all over the world because the success of every marriage lies in the obedience and conformity to this principle. For example, mother-in-law conflicts which is very common and is the bane of many ailing marriages will certainly not occur or will be reduced to the very barest minimum if husbands and wives truly cleave unto each other as expected.

3) Finding a wife:

It is the responsibility of the man to look for a wife (Proverbs 18:22) He has to look for a wife that is fit for him. This is to say that every man has a woman that is fit for him. The operative word here is the word 'fit'. This means that every man has his own 'size'.Many men end up marrying women who are not their sizes and this is the principal reason for many a couple whose union have broken down citing the utterly mundane reason of incompatibility. In the actual sense, there is no such thing as incompatibility in marriage.Men can find their right sizes only if they can submit to their creator to lead them to their right size (Isaiah 48:17)(Psalm 32: But man is a rebel who chooses to walk in his own ways. Where a man ends up marrying the wrong size that is not fit for him, whose fault is it?

http://www.maritalsuccessresource.com]

The Post below is my opinion on the topic above,uploaded from my blog,www.relationship4growth..com.

MOTHER-IN-LAW:THE BANE OF MANY AILING MARRIAGES
There is a general pre-conceived notion by many wives across the world that mothers-in-law are mean, wicked and wish them dead. Therefore the mother-in-law is a person that many wives wish they never had anything to do with. Many spinsters dread the thought of having a mother-in-law when they marry and very few wives have ever had any thing good to say about their mothers-in-law.

The causes of the breakdown in many marriages have been traced to the overbearing attitude of mothers-in-law and it is fast becoming a well known fact that the mother-in-law is the bane of many ailing marriages. It is in this regard that mothers-in-law are often seen and regarded by many as troublesome, poke nosing persons, antagonistic and the greatest enemy and rival of her daughter –in-law.

The question to ask is: Are mothers-in-law truly mean and wicked and why is it so?
The question is necessary in light of the fact that the mother-in-law was previously a daughter-in-law.

To be able to provide answers to these questions, it will be necessary to critically analyze and examine the roles played by the three parties to the conflict – the son, the wife and the mother-in-law. Through the analysis, the causes of the conflict will be determined and solutions proffered.


The Causes of the Conflict

The wife’s role

On account of the pre-conceived notions about mothers-in-laws that many wives had while they were spinsters, many of them came into their marriage prepared for the battle that must be fought to put their mother-in-law in the right place. So if these wives have naturally loving and caring mothers-in-law, they would misconstrue everything done and said by their mothers-in-law. In this regard, the wives have placed themselves on the offensive.

Another cause of the problem is the illusion that many wives have that their husbands must dissociate from his parents and cling to them. These wives are quick to quote the Bible verse that says that a ‘man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife’’ However, the wife seems to fail to realize that the same Bible says that ‘’a man shall honor his parents’’.

Further questions that will be addressed here are: Within the context of marriage, how is a husband expected to honor his parents? How does a man cleave unto his wife without straining the relationship with his parents?

It is ironic that the same wife, who wants her husband to dissociate from her his parents in the name of clinging to her, would have her own mother in her home at every excuse. Unfortunately, some husbands who did not realize the manipulative politics of their wives aimed at creating a bad impression about their mothers, have on account of the mischievous reports given them by the wives, spoken harshly to their mothers and have alienated them.


The Mother-in-law’s role

A mother’s relationship with her son is one of the most intimate but non-intimate relationships. A close bond develops between mother and son through breastfeeding him as a baby and the bond continues throughout life even in her son’s adult and marital life. It is a bond that makes many a mother to be very passionate about her son. Many mothers will naturally see their sons as little husbands

Many mothers have suffered lots of emotional attacks in their lifetime especially those who got married to difficult, impossible, unloving and abusive husbands who made life uneasy for them. They were there for their sons while young at his most vulnerable periods and bore the burden of his upbringing when he was growing up, learning to take his first steps, during sickness or struggling. Such mothers would look to their sons for solace and want to be accepted and loved by him and his wife.

When the wife appears on the scene to marry her son, who will have to shift his attention from his mother to his wife, the mother feels oppressed and may become heartbroken especially where there is no cordiality in the relations between her and her son’s family. These mothers fail to realize that they must become secondary while the wife becomes a priority in her husband’s life. Therefore, another cause of the raging conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is a battle for who gets the attention of the son/husband.Plainly,it is a battle for control of the attention of the son/husband.

However, while there are touchy mothers-in-law who are difficult to please no matter how a wife strives, some mothers have genuine intentions and a sincere concern for the welfare of her son but the way her good intention will be received by her daughter-in-law will depend on her diplomacy.

Where a mother-in-law had a rough and an unhappy marriage with her husband, and now sees her daughter-in-law in a cordial and happy marriage with her son, she may become envious and will do anything to trouble her daughter-in-law's peace, to upset the marriage. She refuses to accept that her daughter-in-law now owns her son.So,the crisis is also borne out of envy.

The African mother-in-law has ''enormous powers'' unlike her western counterpart.The African mother-in-law derives her enormous powers from cultural and traditional values.In Africa, we have the extended family system which is a highly commendable system.It makes a member to be his brother's keeper,to cater for others outside his nuclear family and to be a father to them. But one major defect is that it makes a member to have an assumed right to meddle in the marital affairs of another member.

In many parts of Africa,the wife is not just married to her husband but is married to the whole family. In many parts,she is seen as a slave,an item of purchase or a nonentity who has no voice of her own.In many parts,parents match make and the mother-in-law plays a prominent role. Naturally,the mother-in-law becomes a ''godfather'' to her daughter -in-law with the ''power'' to fire her if she falls out of favor.

In many parts,open display of affection for a wife by her husband is often viewed as unmanliness or personal weakness.Therefore,many husbands support their relations against their wives even when it is clear that the wife is the aggrieved party.These husbands prefer to lose or strain their marriages in order to be in the ''good books'' of their relations.
These husbands watch helplessly while their mothers undo their marriages.Many African wives are often no match for their mothers-in-law simply because their husbands fail to protect them.Therefore,they lose out.

In the instances stated above,the son/husband takes the whole blame for his inability to break loose from this absurd orientation in the name of tradition.The basic problem here is the son/husband's failure to leave and to cleave unto his wife as Scripture commands in Genesis 2:24


The Son’s role

The son/husband is always at the center of the conflict which is a battle for his attention. Many sons have consciously and unconsciously fuelled the crisis by their mishandling of the situation.

Despite being married to their wives, some sons are still emotionally attached to their mothers or tied to her apron strings and would run to their mothers for succor at every turn. Such sons contribute to the conflict by granting their mothers the power to meddle or to interfere in their marital affairs, by their immaturity to face their responsibilities as men. A son who allows his parents to interfere in his marital affairs has set the stage for conflict which must occur if his wife resents such interference.
It is the emotional attachment that an overbearing mother exploits to trouble her son’s wife. Some sons blindly take sides with their mothers against their wives which worsen the situation and hasten the breakdown of the marriage

These sons fail to realize that there is a world of a difference between respect for one’s parents and servitude to them. Obedience to the biblical command to honor one’s parents does not permit a son to allow parental interference in his marital affairs but the son is bound to relate with them and to provide for them. Also a son who has complied with the biblical command to leave his parents and cleave to his wife will not allow third party interference in his marital affairs.


Suggested Solution

The Wife

The wife must realize that her relationship with her in-laws is a sensitive one that must not be ruptured. The wife should know that when she marries, she marries her husband along with his family and that her husband’s parents are also her parents. The wife is also required to honor her parents and the biblical command to honor one’s parents also includes honoring one’s parent figures such as in-laws.

A wife is expected to humble herself before her in-laws, be accommodating, tolerate and love them. Love is the foundation and the bedrock of every marriage but this love should be extended not only to the husband but also to the in-laws even if the wife thinks that they do not like her. She can not obliterate her in-laws and should check herself to see if there are any issues within her which caused the friction. She must not be on the offensive through pre-conceived notions that mothers-in-law are evil.

She must realize that her in-laws can do unacceptable things just like her own parents and instead of reacting negatively to stir up trouble, she should learn to overlook some errors. She should realize that what she sows in her relationship with her mother-in-law, she will reap in the future when she becomes a mother-in-law.

The Son

The Son has a major role to play to ensure cordial relations between his wife and her in-laws. His marriage to his wife must not be strained just as his wife’s relationship with her in-laws must not be allowed to rupture. The son should as the head of the home, lead every conflict resolution between his wife and her in-laws and not allow the misunderstandings to degenerate.

The Son must stand by his wife and protect her from his relations because marriage is leaving and cleaving to each other. Husband and wife are one flesh in marriage and are expected to be totally committed to each other’s happiness. Marriage is a bond and a covenant which must not be broken. It is not a marriage of convenience but a lifelong commitment to each other. They should not allow the parental bond which existed before the marriage to destabilize the marriage. In this wise, husband and wife must stand together to protect the marriage against external attacks.

The son should not take any steps that will create an occasion for third parties to come poke nosing into the affairs of his family. This is the point where many sons have gone wrong.

For the son to maintain a balanced relationship between his nuclear family and the extended family on one hand and to maintain a cordial relationship between himself and his wife requires careful handling, tact, wisdom and maturity. In every marriage, in-law misunderstandings may frequently occur but such issues must not be allowed to degenerate to destroy one’s marriage.

From the above, it has been established that the solution to the conflict lies in the hands of the husband and wife to maintain cordial relations with in-laws while ensuring that their own marriage is not strained.

The ball is in the court of the couple to stand as a united front to protect their union from external attacks and this is realizable when they can recognize that persons such as mothers-in-law are external parties to the marriage.The son/husband has a major role to play.

www.relationship4growth..com

The article below,uploaded from my blog www.maritalsuccessresource.com deals with the topic

There is a general pre-conceived notion by many wives across the world that mothers-in-law are mean, wicked and wish them dead. Therefore the mother-in-law is a person that many wives wish they never had anything to do with. Many spinsters dread the thought of having a mother-in-law when they marry and very few wives have ever had any thing good to say about their mothers-in-law.

The causes of the breakdown in many marriages have been traced to the overbearing attitude of mothers-in-law and it is fast becoming a well known fact that the mother-in-law is the bane of many ailing marriages. It is in this regard that mothers-in-law are often seen and regarded by many as troublesome, poke nosing persons, antagonistic and the greatest enemy and rival of her daughter –in-law.

The question to ask is: Are mothers-in-law truly mean and wicked and why is it so?
The question is necessary in light of the fact that the mother-in-law was previously a daughter-in-law.

To be able to provide answers to these questions, it will be necessary to critically analyze and examine the roles played by the three parties to the conflict – the son, the wife and the mother-in-law. Through the analysis, the causes of the conflict will be determined and solutions proffered.


The Causes of the Conflict

The wife’s role

On account of the pre-conceived notions about mothers-in-laws that many wives had while they were spinsters, many of them came into their marriage prepared for the battle that must be fought to put their mother-in-law in the right place. So if these wives have naturally loving and caring mothers-in-law, they would misconstrue everything done and said by their mothers-in-law. In this regard, the wives have placed themselves on the offensive.

Another cause of the problem is the illusion that many wives have that their husbands must dissociate from his parents and cling to them. These wives are quick to quote the Bible verse that says that a ‘man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife’’ However, the wife seems to fail to realize that the same Bible says that ‘’a man shall honor his parents’’.

Further questions that will be addressed here are: Within the context of marriage, how is a husband expected to honor his parents? How does a man cleave unto his wife without straining the relationship with his parents?

It is ironic that the same wife, who wants her husband to dissociate from her his parents in the name of clinging to her, would have her own mother in her home at every excuse. Unfortunately, some husbands who did not realize the manipulative politics of their wives aimed at creating a bad impression about their mothers, have on account of the mischievous reports given them by the wives, spoken harshly to their mothers and have alienated them.


The Mother-in-law’s role

A mother’s relationship with her son is one of the most intimate but non-sexual relationships. A close bond develops between mother and son through breastfeeding him as a baby and the bond continues throughout life even in her son’s adult and marital life. It is a bond that makes many a mother to be very passionate about her son. Many mothers will naturally see their sons as little husbands

Many mothers have suffered lots of emotional attacks in their lifetime especially those who got married to difficult, impossible, unloving and abusive husbands who made life uneasy for them. They were there for their sons while young at his most vulnerable periods and bore the burden of his upbringing when he was growing up, learning to take his first steps, during sickness or struggling. Such mothers would look to their sons for solace and want to be accepted and loved by him and his wife.

When the wife appears on the scene to marry her son, who will have to shift his attention from his mother to his wife, the mother feels oppressed and may become heartbroken especially where there is no cordiality in the relations between her and her son’s family. These mothers fail to realize that they must become secondary while the wife becomes a priority in her husband’s life. Therefore, another cause of the raging conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is a battle for who gets the attention of the son/husband.Plainly,it is a battle for control of the attention of the son/husband.

However, while there are touchy mothers-in-law who are difficult to please no matter how a wife strives, some mothers have genuine intentions and a sincere concern for the welfare of her son but the way her good intention will be received by her daughter-in-law will depend on her diplomacy.

Where a mother-in-law had a rough and an unhappy marriage with her husband, and now sees her daughter-in-law in a cordial and happy marriage with her son, she may become envious and will do anything to trouble her daughter-in-law's peace, to upset the marriage. She refuses to accept that her daughter-in-law now owns her son.So,the crisis is also borne out of envy.

The African mother-in-law has ''enormous powers'' unlike her western counterpart.The African mother-in-law derives her enormous powers from cultural and traditional values.In Africa, we have the extended family system which is a highly commendable system.It makes a member to be his brother's keeper,to cater for others outside his nuclear family and to be a father to them. But one major defect is that it makes a member to have an assumed right to meddle in the marital affairs of another member.

In many parts of Africa,the wife is not just married to her husband but is married to the whole family. In many parts,she is seen as a slave,an item of purchase or a nonentity who has no voice of her own.In many parts,parents match make and the mother-in-law plays a prominent role. Naturally,the mother-in-law becomes a ''godfather'' to her daughter -in-law with the ''power'' to fire her if she falls out of favor.

In many parts,open display of affection for a wife by her husband is often viewed as unmanliness or personal weakness.Therefore,many husbands support their relations against their wives even when it is clear that the wife is the aggrieved party.These husbands prefer to lose or strain their marriages in order to be in the ''good books'' of their relations.
These husbands watch helplessly while their mothers undo their marriages.Many African wives are often no match for their mothers-in-law simply because their husbands fail to protect them.Therefore,they lose out.

In the instances stated above,the son/husband takes the whole blame for his inability to break loose from this absurd orientation in the name of tradition.The basic problem here is the son/husband's failure to leave and to cleave unto his wife as Scripture commands in Genesis 2:24


The Son’s role

The son/husband is always at the center of the conflict which is a battle for his attention. Many sons have consciously and unconsciously fuelled the crisis by their mishandling of the situation.

Despite being married to their wives, some sons are still emotionally attached to their mothers or tied to her apron strings and would run to their mothers for succor at every turn. Such sons contribute to the conflict by granting their mothers the power to meddle or to interfere in their marital affairs, by their immaturity to face their responsibilities as men. A son who allows his parents to interfere in his marital affairs has set the stage for conflict which must occur if his wife resents such interference.
It is the emotional attachment that an overbearing mother exploits to trouble her son’s wife. Some sons blindly take sides with their mothers against their wives which worsen the situation and hasten the breakdown of the marriage

These sons fail to realize that there is a world of a difference between respect for one’s parents and servitude to them. Obedience to the biblical command to honor one’s parents does not permit a son to allow parental interference in his marital affairs but the son is bound to relate with them and to provide for them. Also a son who has complied with the biblical command to leave his parents and cleave to his wife will not allow third party interference in his marital affairs.


Suggested Solution

The Wife

The wife must realize that her relationship with her in-laws is a sensitive one that must not be ruptured. The wife should know that when she marries, she marries her husband along with his family and that her husband’s parents are also her parents. The wife is also required to honor her parents and the biblical command to honor one’s parents also includes honoring one’s parent figures such as in-laws.

A wife is expected to humble herself before her in-laws, be accommodating, tolerate and love them. Love is the foundation and the bedrock of every marriage but this love should be extended not only to the husband but also to the in-laws even if the wife thinks that they do not like her. She can not obliterate her in-laws and should check herself to see if there are any issues within her which caused the friction. She must not be on the offensive through pre-conceived notions that mothers-in-law are evil.

She must realize that her in-laws can do unacceptable things just like her own parents and instead of reacting negatively to stir up trouble, she should learn to overlook some errors. She should realize that what she sows in her relationship with her mother-in-law, she will reap in the future when she becomes a mother-in-law.

The Son

The Son has a major role to play to ensure cordial relations between his wife and her in-laws. His marriage to his wife must not be strained just as his wife’s relationship with her in-laws must not be allowed to rupture. The son should as the head of the home, lead every conflict resolution between his wife and her in-laws and not allow the misunderstandings to degenerate.

The Son must stand by his wife and protect her from his relations because marriage is leaving and cleaving to each other. Husband and wife are one flesh in marriage and are expected to be totally committed to each other’s happiness. Marriage is a bond and a covenant which must not be broken. It is not a marriage of convenience but a lifelong commitment to each other. They should not allow the parental bond which existed before the marriage to destabilize the marriage. In this wise, husband and wife must stand together to protect the marriage against external attacks.

The son should not take any steps that will create an occasion for third parties to come poke nosing into the affairs of his family. This is the point where many sons have gone wrong.

For the son to maintain a balanced relationship between his nuclear family and the extended family on one hand and to maintain a cordial relationship between himself and his wife requires careful handling, tact, wisdom and maturity. In every marriage, in-law misunderstandings may frequently occur but such issues must not be allowed to degenerate to destroy one’s marriage.

From the above, it has been established that the solution to the conflict lies in the hands of the husband and wife to maintain cordial relations with in-laws while ensuring that their own marriage is not strained.

The ball is in the court of the couple to stand as a united front to protect their union from external attacks and this is realizable when they can recognize that persons such as mothers-in-law are external parties to the marriage.The son/husband has a major role to play.
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