₦airaland Forum

Actors,start dryfasting &whitefasting.
Pray without ceasing.
Reject evil prophecies.
You have been warned!

Forgive him
Love keepeth no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13)

Forgive her.
Love keepeth no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13)

Love is important,very important in marriage.
Love based on emotions or feelings can rupture or fade over time.
When it happens,many marriages usually become strained and may be heading towards a collapse.
To sustain the marriage,let love be based on a decision to love the other,come what may,feelings or no feelings, and be committed to it.The Bible says to husbands 'Love your wives'(Ephesians 5:22-25)
Love her even when she is unlovable.Love her unconditionally.Love her when you think that she does not love you.
Thats the way i see the issue of love in marriage.

Love is important,very important in marriage.
Love based on emotions or feelings can rupture or fade over time.
When it happens,many marriages usually become strained and may be heading towards a collapse.
To sustain the marriage,let love be based on a decision to love the other,come what may,feelings or no feelings, and be committed to it.The Bible says to husbands 'Love your wives'(Ephesians 5:22-25)
Love her even when she is unlovable.Love her unconditionally.Love her when you know that she does not love you.
Thats the way i see the issue of love in marriage.

Marriage counselling is majorly a church affair in Nigeria.

When i need to ask for direction,i look for males or elderly women to ask,not young ladies!

Men,please keep off this thread.
Let the women do the contribution.

@neyostica
Agree with efemena X that s3x is a delicacy.it is an important issue in marriage. For many couples,it is like a glue.The right use of it can actually promote marital harmony while the misuse can mar the marriage.It is described as the tonic of marriage.It revamps the stamina of men and gladdens their hearts too.It plays vital roles in marriage for eg it enhances good communication between husband and wife. S3x is also a destroyer,where misused,abused and mismanaged.
There are 4 types of wives as far as this issue of s3x is concerned in marriage
1) The wife who is sexy and who wants it at least twice weekly.
2)The wife who decides when and when not to have s3x with her husband.She is the wife who prepares a time table or roaster for her husband.Many of them abound in marriages.
3)The wife who is reserved,who believes that sex is evil.She belongs to the 18th century and believes old womens' fables about s3x.
4)The wife who believes that s3x is for reproduction and not for pleasure.
If your stamina or desire cant go beyond once weekly,discuss it with your wife and agree on how to accomodate each other without injuring the marriage.

OP
I support you sir. It is the Bible's opinion.
The truth of God's Word is bitter,very bitter to swallow,yet we shall be judged by it.
It is sad that many christians rush into marriage without understanding the full import of the Bible's marriage doctrine.
Divorce is not allowed in the Bible(Malachi 2:16)(1 Corinthians 7:1-16)(Romans 7:1-3).
Whether we like it or not,we and our marriages will be judged by the doctrines in the Bible.
I have never supported a divorce and never will I encourage a man or woman to divorce his or her partner.
Where life is in danger in the marriage, seperation may be permissible but in accordance with Romans 7:1-3 & 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 i.e.
WHOEVER seperates must remain unmarried and without having any sex for as long as the other partner is alive.If you seperate from your partner,you are still married to him or her and bound to him/her for as long as he/she lives.thats what God's word says.
There is always a price to pay which many cannot pay.Then they find ways to twist God's word to suit their own desires.
God cannot contradict His Word.Divorce is not allowed.
Before anyone marries,study the marriage doctrines in the Bible and when you marry,keep yourselves and marriages in line with God's Word and expectation.It is not to misbehave, mess up the marriage and come twisting God's Word in order to get out.God is not mocked!The God of love and mercy is also a consuming fire(Hebrews 12:29).Remember that?

Sweet or Not,I eat it without complaining.
Its an occassional occurence anyway.
Its too trivial an issue to injure her feelings.

Many of us go through or have gone through such storms in marriage.
Please, kill the thought of divorce in your heart.It is not the answer to the problem and never an answer anywhere.
Divorce will worsen the matter for you and your children.
Marriage is full of storms,never a bed of roses.Yet it is the most unique of human relationships.Smooth& rough edges,sweet &bitter moments.You have sweet memories of the marriage.Why worry over a bitter moment?Its a temporal thing,it will pass away.
You will overcome the problems if you can be patient.
He may be going through some problems.
Find out from him what he is going through and help him.That is your duty as his wife.
You are his helpmeet in marriage and this is the time to play your roles as a helpmate.
Being a helpmeet means to help, project, motivate,uplift and to promote your husband.
It means to provide or support him with prayers, sex, meals, counsel,solace,comfort,hospitality,housekeeping and financial assistance.
Are you not a christian? Have you been praying? it is time you arise and pray to God for a change in his behavior.A drinking habit and nights outside the matrimonial home are recipe for disaster.Look for Bimbo Odukoya's book titled 'Woman,Fight For Your Marriage'.
All the issues a woman should fight against are already manifestations in your marriage.Fight spiritually through prayers,not physical.
You are married.Divorce is not allowed (Malachi 2:16)(1 Corinthians 7:10-11)(Romans 7:1-3).stay married and face the challenges looking unto Jesus Christ,the author and finisher of our faith.Dont look at the problem,look for God in the problem.
As I always advise,please seek counsel in the counselling unit of a bible believing ministry.
6 years is too early to complain and think of running away.As long as your life is not in danger,please be at peace.
I am 15 years in marriage,have a daughter aged 14 and i have weathered horrible storms.As it is now,i cannot think of seperating from my wife,or divorcing her for any reason,no matter her misbehavior.For my daughter's sake too.I made up my mind to stay married to one woman and make the marriage work.You have to make the marriage work.Happy marriages dont just happen.You make it happen by working it.
Always consider your babies interests as paramount in any decision you take in marriage.
The storms or stress in marriage makes one stronger if you can stand against them by God's grace and prayers.The key to your victory is in your hand already(Matthew 16:19).Use it.
That is my sincere christain advice for you based on Scripture(The Bible).

If the woman in the picture doesn't work,who will shoulder her financial responsibilities for her?
If she can afford a better means of transportation,would she not deploy it?
Do not blame the woman.Pity her instead. Rather,blame the insensitive Nigerian governments for poor governance since 1960 which has pushed many families to very desperate situations such as the picture is showing.

Please explain how one can distribute cement with N160k?

In august 2008,i spoke to a neighbor,who has a block moulding site in the Lekki area and he gave me a detailed breakdown of the block business.
He said that blocks produced for buildings in the Lekki area must be of high quality and attract higher prices.
He gave me the production formulae for high quality blocks in terms of:
The Materials
The Material costs ( based on 2008 prices
The Mixing ratio (i.e quantity of cement,soft sand, sharp sand and stone dust to be mixed)
Number of headpans or wheel barrows of sands and cement required to produce a given quantity of blocks
The Target Production Quantity per day to get from a mixing ratio for 6 inch or 9 inch blocks
The Labor cost per day (based on 2008 prices
The water cost per day (based on 2008 prices
The selling prices( based on 2008 prices
The target profit per day (based on 2008 prices
Before i can post the details, i have to see the man again to update the report to reflect 2012 prices since the present prices i have are obviously outdated.

Have sent a mail to you

Yes,you can start a drycleaning business with N50k
Start with a pressing table and an iron.
Wash manually for a start.
There are many biz one can do with N50k but some are considered menial esp for the graduate nigerian.

Dont you have an email address?

Okay but can you post a picture for the benefit of viewers?
I have sent a mail

For a book,you can make a charge of N100.00 per page
Some base their charges on the number of pages or number of words.
You can use a free blog to promote your services online
You can get proofreading jobs at www.onlinewritingjobs.com

Clash of interests!
its not only happening in polygamous settings though worse there.
A front-line Nigerian lawyer died years ago.
Had a monogamous marriage with 4 or 5 kids,all lawyers.
Yet they are in court over their father's Will.
Their dad couldn't have made any mistake in the Will.
Yet his sons could not agree to abide by the wishes of their dad.
Clash of interests!

Very common but most of the victim men fear to talk out out of shame
The victim women easily cry out because they will get sympathy.A victim man who cries out will get more insults than he can absorb.
One woman, a wife beats her husband,i mean a silly beating.
when neighbors gather,the wife begins to cry as if she was the victim of the beating.
The neighbors begin to scold the husband who is often too ashamed to say what actually happened.
The husband always suffers double trouble in form of the beating he got and the neighbors rebuke.

Why do people bother themselves about holding this demonic title?
All the previous holders of the title in Yoruba history all died violent deaths.
The title is demonic.

@agiboma
I said and i mean that the beast of a husband deserves to be disciplined.

OP
You said that you are a Christian.Are you a nominal christian or a christian worshiping God in spirit and in truth?
Do not you know what the scriptures say on the issue of marriage?
Don't you know that you are toying with adultery already,loving another woman while married?.(Matthew 5:27-28)
You allowed evil thoughts to germinate in your heart.You did not keep your heart with due diligence(Proverbs 4:23)
Don't you know that you are breaching sacred vows which were confessed before God and men?(Ecclesiastes 5:4-5)
Why will you allow the derailment of your faith and relationship with your wife and more importantly,your God because of fleshly lusts?
Don't you know that you can jeopardize your eternity on this account?
Now that you are married, stay married.Make up your mind to stay married to one woman and love her alone.
We are all tempted every second but it is your responsibility to ward it off and not fall into it(1 Corinthians 10:13)
Love your wife.This is God's command in Ephesians 5:22-25.It means that you should decide to love her even when the feelings is not there.
Love is not based on emotions because emotions often can change.Love is a decision backed by a commitment not to back out.
Take it or leave it,you cannot marry another person (Romans 7:1-3, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Malachi 2:14-16).
God warns very strongly about men who betray their wives and who deal treacherously with them as you are doing (Malachi 2:14-15)
That is my sincere christian advice to you based on scripture(The Bible)The truth of the bible is always bitter to swallow but we shall be judged by it.Brother,flee every appearances of evil.Any love outside your wife is LUST.INFATUATION.SIN.
At 28 years of age,how long have you travelled in marriage? Repent and face your wife,OK!

Going to the registry in that manner is defiance to parental authority.
You mean you will go to registry without your parents in attendance or their representative? What an affront?
Those who have sidelined their parents in matters of marriage have always lived to regret it.
Don't you know that if your parents place a curse on you on this ground, it will stick and God will uphold it?
Parental consent is a must,it is essential in marriage.
You must be patient till they accept your proposal.
You have to pray for God to soften their heart and make them see reason.
If God has approved of him for you,then be patient for God to conclude what he has started.
Why are you rushing? It is a disobedience to God if you marry a man against your parents' consent.
If you are a christian,start praying about it and seek counsel in the counseling unit of a bible believing ministry.
Read the Bible from Genesis.When God created a highway across the Red Sea for the Isrealites, he did not tell them that there were other obstacles at Marah,Jericho and other locations on their way to the Promised Land.That God has shown you your husband does not mean that you will not have challenges in the way.You will have them plenty but you have to confront them through the same God.
Trust in the Lord, do not lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6)
That is my sincere christian advice for you based on Scripture(The Bible)The truth of the bible is always bitter but we shall be judged by it.

Parental consent in marriage is a must and cannot be wished away.
Some churches will not conduct any wedding where parental consent was not given.

One woman beats her husband when necessary,sound beating.
When neighbors come, wife begins to cry as if she was the one beaten.
Neighbors begin to scold and reprimand the husband.
Husband is always too ashamed to say what actually happened.
For husband,double trouble in the form of a beating and the neighbors rebuke.

If any man does that to my daughter,i will deal with him real bad.He will regret it.
That man is a beast of beasts, a deranged man.
Beating a wife, a pregnant wife over a plate of beans and even going ahead to slap the wife's cousin?
Its not right to slap one's wife's relations,no matter what.its a disrespect to that family.
You ought to alert the family that their son-in-law is a mental case,has gone insane.
Your cousin may be too ashamed to make her predicament known but you can do that having known and seen it.
Beating the wife with a stick? God have mercy.
Some years ago,a man who was fond of beating his wife had a raw deal.
His wife's three brothers visited unannounced,locked the door and gave him a sound beating he lives to remember.
Since then,his nonsense stopped and he treats the woman with great respect and decency till today and tomorrow.
I do not accept that a man's in-laws should beat him up.its abominable but i think some beasts like the man here deserves it.

When you have a nightmare and it portends evil,the 1st thing is to rebuke it,reject it in prayer so that it will not come to pass.
If your wife did not pay attention,maybe you offended her earlier.Search yourself.
Maybe to her,the dream is nothing to worry about.
That is too trivial a matter to cause discord between a couple.
If she slaps you,will you murder her?
Forget it,man.

Mundane things of the world. Vanity upon vanity,all is vanity,vanity.
The woman has no regard or respect for her husband and for God.
As far as she is concerned,her husband and God can go to blazes.
The Bible condemns tattoo in the Book of Deuteronomy 14:1 & Leviticus 19:28
Personally,i cannot tolerate it.Its demonic, not ordinary as people think it is.
I cant imagine having intercourse with a woman having tattoo on her body.
It is an ancient,pagan,idolatrous practice.It is a submission to idol worship.
It has grave spiritual implications in the life of the person who does it on his/her body.
It is an invitation to demonic traffic in the life of the person.
When demons see tattoo on a person,they see their property in that person and will have legal grounds to freely afflict the life of the person.Those who have it are already possessed by demons but may not know.It is a FACT.
Having a wife who wears tattoo is akin to bringing into, or having an 'accursed thing' in your house (Joshua 7:11-13).
The presence of the Lord will surely depart from that family unless they repent.Tattoo is an abomination in the sight of God.It is a disfiguration of a body created by God and a deviation from his original plan.God himself,will curse such people.
The woman has to go before the Lord in strong repentance and also go for deliverance in order to break the curses associated with tattooing.Even if the husband consented to it,the two of them will come under God's wrath for disobedience.
Tattooing is the Spirit of the last days at work.
You the husband,you are the head of the home and God holds you accountable for the misdeeds in the marriage,though not your fault.When the forbidden fruit was eaten in Eden,Adam was directly questioned,not the woman.Yet it was the woman who caused the problem.In this case,you cannot divorce her (Malachi 2:16).You are one flesh with her.You should sit her down and make her see her error,and reasons why she has to repent and go for deliverance in a Bible believing Deliverance Ministry.
That is my own christian advice for you based on Scripture(The Bible).The truth of the Bible is alwayz bitter before men but we shall be judged by it.