₦airaland Forum

Funny topic, funny responses

Women' corner: Silly men, we dont need them, submit koo, submit nii, we are adults 2, we are equal, we are in charge too, e.t.c

Women Chorus: EXACTLY! EXACTLY!! EXACTLY!!!  


Men's corner: I am in charge, Didn't you hear God? You must submit, You're becoming Aggressive, You want wahala in dis house, e.t.c


Men's Chorus: EXACTLY! EXACTLY!! EXACTLY!!!


Hmmmm, seems like a battle of the sexes!


BTW: Men have women as bosses in the office and have no problem saying "Yes Maam" when she barks out an order
        Women too (mostly) have men as bosses and have no problem saying "Yes saah" when he orders them to do something

Why is it then in marriage, that SUBMISSION is a problem?
Okay, that "submission" is paid for, in the office!!  
Thus, we can safely conclude that SUBMISSION IS ABOUT MONEY AND REWARD  

See why a "rich spouse" cant be submissive?

I think the judgment actually plays into the hands of Andoookaaa and the "cabal" ruling and looting this country.

As it is, the interpretation in reality, is that for the next 2years, Yara-sick can remain "sick, incommunicado and a ghost" and still be PRESIDENT!

Good(bad)luck will continue to "ACT" but will never be worn-in as President, even if the other schmuck is dead and secretly buried!

Where does that leave us: A country with a "GHOST", for  Head-of-state and C-IN-C!
We deserve an award for lunacy, really

@Lax89.
That you my beloved brother.
God actually has blessed me (and is still blessing me) and l bought my first parcel of land in 2000, just opposite Chevron, in Lekki.
Since then, l have acquired not a few more properties, scattered all over Lagos, and one in Abuja.

While people were buying bank shares, l decided not to put all my eggs in one basket and equally invested in property.
Not to say, the share purchases were mostly wasted money cos l lost a few millions there, the value are nothing to write home about as we speak now but the "properties' are a consolation.

This Kaduna offer is very tempting but as you also know, things can get very nasty for a southerner christian, in that part of the world, within a twinkle of an eye! especially if they think you're a KAFFERI!

Like l said, l will keep my fingers crossed on that one, until Nigeria can form a TRUE REPUBLIC where every citizen is a citizen of the country, irrespective of religion, language or ethnic orientations.

Sai-gobe.

Kingboy,
You are making me appear important than l am!
I m not "experienced" in building, infact, l have no experience beyond what l see with my eyes o!!

What l mean by that highlighted part in your statement is that:
Vertical beams carry direct, vertical weight.
Window and door beams, by that, l mean the concrete that goes across the horizontal breath of a window or door position (its the horizontal concrete that block will be laid upon).
they carry just a few blocks from lintel level upwards.
The real frame, and therefore wight of the building itself, rest on the vertical pillars.
I will get a picture and post so u can see what l am driving at.

I wish u more success and real blessing in that foundation work.

Good, we are all brothers and though we fly-off at times, no one is perfect.
I m happy we all friends now and "honor has been given o whom honor is due".

Thanks for maintaining the peace.
Your "advert" there is noted somewhere in the corner of my head and in my diary, who knows

Now, watching Mozambique play Benin Rep., l can not be amazed at the speed, energy and youthfulness of these players.

Now that the passion has cooled down from the loss, let us remove the venom from our comments, let us remove the anger, the abuse and let us just pass our opinion across like civilized adult. That cant be too much to ask.

I know its painful, even more painful to loose like the way we did. Our game lacks imagination

My take:
Coaches have responsibilities, players have responsibilities too.
When a team looses, both the coach and the players have faults and share the blame.

Coach:
*Amodu seems bereft of ideas once things begin to go wrong.
*He seems not to have any tactical input once the eleven players hit the turf. He just sat there growling like an injured lion
*Should he still be staying with these aged players (Kanu, Yakubu, Yobo, e.t.c) or should he scout for new talents.
*How sound is the level of his football tactical knowledge? Mind you, l am 100% in favor of local coach but what value has he added on to himself, in the last 8years?
*Selection today seems very poor but then, if truly Odewingwe and Martins are injured, then he can only work with available "materials".

Players:
*Some have passed their "sell-by-date", they have aged and u cant cheat nature. Playing a world class game at 45yrs is not easy!
*Some like Kanu, Yobo, Yakubu, needs to retire (at least from National team) while we still have good memories of them.
*Today, They were lazy, sluggish, slow, over-fed, unadventurous, lack imagination, lack drive and a winning attitude.
*Keeper made a few costly errors (positioning)
*Mikel held too long onto the ball most times, he wanted to impress (or impose) but he was just too slow for positive impact. He needs to learn how to shoot straight, even if it hits the keepers face! Cant remember when last the put the ball in the net; since joining Chelsea, l think overall, his game has depreciated!!
*Taye Taiwo was above average but he has to "recover" whenever he overlaps! Take a cue form Sagna or Gael Clichy of Arsenal
*Forward like was poor generally, they need to sharpen their push but thats a follow-up to a poor midfield.
*Worst of all is the defense-line. Yobo plays the old kind of "Police football" where defenders just need to "swing their legs" at theball! No intelligent play at all. Compare him with others like Gallas, Vanmaleen, Terry, Alonso, e.t.c? I guess his position needs to be reviewed, but where is the replacement?
*Nwaneri and Yussuf are a bit fidgetty, they need to build confidence and use the brain more than they use their muscles. Become intelligently tactical.
*Aside Nsofor up front, the front line was shy and not mobile at all. They are reluctant to even take on leadership and responsibility

Finally, we are reaping what we have sown
*Poor or no planning: When was the last time we invested in developing coaches knowledge? Amodu still using 1990 tactics!
*Emergency, fire bridgeable approach to serious matters
*Death and abandonment of Collegiate football like the Principal's cup means we dont have a replacement pool for the likes of Kanu, Yobo, and other Grandpas!
*Lack of investment in football development in terms of football academies
*Chronic corruption in the football (glass   ) House. That place stinks to heaven!
*Lack of commitment from the players, a reflection of the corrupt nature of the country.

We  can still address issues and correct the problems but if we keep expecting a different  result while we keep doing the same thing, Coaches are not magicians, right
Recruiting a foreign coach will not solve our problem, as long as we do things the way we do them now, if you doubt, ask Berti of Germany
Even prayer would not help.
God can not be deceived.


BTW: This football matter is not about emotions or casting blames, its about taking corrective, pragmatic actions

I AM AN "AMODU SUPPORTER" BUT I MUST AGREE THAT TODAY'S LINE-UP WAS BAFFLING!

I like encouraging and wish we could develop our local coaches by exposing them.

Leaving Odewingwe on the bench (lets agree that Martins in not fit, from injury) seems strange
But then, what options do we have left?

These tired, slow, sluggish and aging players?
C'mmon, even Berti Vigts did not do any magic last time around, did he?

Good riddance to bad rubbish, OBI MIKEL is yanked out!

I hope they would bring in Odewingwe sha.

Okay, Mikel ha played 99 league matches for Chelsea and not a single goal, for a midfielder!

Even defenders like Gallas, Vanmaleen, Terry, Midfielders like Alex Song, Gerrard, e.t.c have scored!

Look at him in front of goal, doing a "roundabout"

I hope some of you saw where that goal came from?

MIKEL. He lost possession in mid-field and that was it.

I can understand if u're a Chelsea supporter and cant find fault in a Chelsea player but please, this MIKEL is either too tired or just playing lazy, big-boy stuff!

Defense: Sluggish and unimaginative! This defense looks TIRED!! Yobo still believe all he needs do is just "swing his leg"!

Mid-field: Needs to be more decisive and intercept the attack faster. Mikel is still the problem there-in.

Attack: Doing fine, needs to take all their chances and get ahead on goals.

Over-all: 50-50 performance but we need to do better than this.

WTF?
Whaat is all these "YANGA" football that Mikel Obi is playing?

He wants to "show-off" that he is from Chelsea right?

He hold the ball too much, takes too many touches and has this lackadaisical attitude in his play?
What-da-F-ck?

Hmmmmm, "Big-boyism"? Right??

IMO, l think the man is Kaput, long. time!

Just Show us a 5-second Video interview, End of Story
Even Kidnappers are required to show "Proof of life" so why is this more important issue different?

Abeg make we hear wod, this is just to demoralize the protest, coming a day before it!

But l am wondering: Why did CAF not even sympathize with them first, for the loss of human lives and then later blame them for not following travel instructions.
The Togolese PM actually said they did not receive any "condolence message" from CAF up till now!

Seems from these interview, the players are really ready to play and the sports Minister wants them to.

[url=http://www.teamtalk.com/football/story/0,16368,2483_5851975,00.html][url]http://www.teamtalk.com/football/story/0,16368,2483_5851975,00.html[/url][/url]

Must have been very painful for the Togolese players.

I wonder what these same people shouting "foreign coach, Amodu is bad, and so on", will do, when Nigeria finally trounce Egypt?

I guess they would have to find another excuse to back-up their "Inferiority Complex" towards anything WHITE-SKIN

Shiooo

I wonder if its not very obvious that The BBC NEWS in question was just a diversionary tactics by some faceless people to raise hope where there is none.

If some GHOST can speak to BBC HAUSA language and BBC can not show a 5SECOND VIDEO CLIP (BBC of all people, how long did it get them to show the Panty-bomber's pix?) then common sense should tell anyone with a little Grey Matter that this is all ARRAINGEE

Its all aimed at weakening the protest, coming a day before it!

And some faceless agents have registered in all sorts of forums to "sell the lie" too

TRUTH is Ogaa don Kaput. End of Story.

Please, what is this "Tenderizer" they are talking about?
Is it a hair relaxer or wetin?

The only thing l know that can over-power any meat in Potash (kaun).
I've seen my uncle use it on the most stubborn He-goat in our village and he tender no be small, at last!
That useless HE-goat is so stubborn it will turn back and abuse your mother, if you dare attempt to correct its misbehavior, and afterwards, it will go to the clothes-line and eat your best cloth! God bless my Uncle for ridding the village of that monster goat.

By the way, which kin persin call "Alum" as "Kaun" (Potash)?
No kill person for house O!

See as im dey wink before Uncle do justice for-am

That Segun Adeniyi has undergone an "Aso rock" re-branding
Now, he lies with both sides of his mouth and no longer speak for the masses as he used to do when in he was in Thisday.

His word is as good as that of one of those Lagos Area Boys!

By the way, what on earth doe it cost, to take a phone and record this man, dead or alive or brain dead, for the whole 150Million Nigerians to see or how long are we going to bear being the butt of some not-so-funny comedians all over the world?

Anyway, no break for public, no break for inside, na one place sha, dis Umaru beads go break, abi?
I siddon-look

Just heard on BBC interview with one of the players, He sai Adebayo had a meeting (as captain) with all the other players and they discussed whether they should play or not. The player said they all agreed to play, to honor the memory of their departed colleagues.

So, Players want and feel they can play BUT BUREAUCRACY DOES NOT SEEM TO THINK SO?

And l think CAF is making matters worse by its combative posture.
You dont rub salt into a nations injuries, do you?

Recent reports have that the Prime Minister is now really furious!
It was the F.A Secretary that said that CAF should re-arrange their match for them after the 3days mourning but suprisingly, CAF came out smoking and said a capital NO WAY

I guess that infuriated the Prime Minister and you know, in Africa, big-man, big-ego

The P.M now said "they never requested to be re-instated back in the tournament"!

So, on one hand, we have mourning players who wants to play, at least for the memory of their dead colleagues.
On the other hand, we have this "fat cat" Minister, who thinks it is an insult (and l may agree with him) to be rebuffed the way CAF did! No one expects them to "beg" 2be re-instated, right?

The third leg of the katakata is the CAF itself who thinks that Togo, though suffering from the ambush, are the architect of their own undoing and actually brought disgrace to the competition by making themselves prey to the ambush, and then going home after all the pleading to remain!


Its sad sha but l would love them to be re-instated without much humiliation, after all they've gone through (self inflicted).

Some said the "hammer" will eventually fall on the head of the Sports Minister who may have sanctioned the road-safari if they dont participate at all, not the P.M that is making all the noise right now.

Dee-Law,
Dont worry, whatever we sow, we will surely reap. It is a time-tested cliche.

Freebee or not, l am sure, if 10% of the people you have helped put you in their good-books and remember you (just 10% is enough and l am sure YOU will get over that figure) then "you are made and fulfilled".

"If you are looking for money and you encounter goodwill on the way, better embrace it afterall, Goodwill is the "manufacturer of lasting wealth""

Nuff-said, keep it up.

@nuruoniwo
I think you HAVE CRIED MORE THAN THE BEREAVED
Agreed that "aasog" made a mistake and if l remember, a few pages behind, he actually "apologized" to babadudu, not in secret but openly here!
By now, lam sure they have mend fences as we suggested but for you to just come out of the blues and dig-up old wounds, in such a vindictive manner as represented by your post, is uncalled for.

None is perfect but when we make mistakes and we realize it, we quickly make-up for it by apoligizing.
That should end it.
This idea of his building will collapse in 15years and so on and so forth, is belated.

If it were babadudu himself that is still angry and saying all these, l will attribute it to having his own "pound of flesh" but from a "third party", even if he was your boss, in an over-kill. That part about being a glorified bricklayer is a very personal insult and l am sure he did not insult you, directly.
Now, you also owe him an apology, (for civility's sake) or what will you do if you see him and babadudu shaking-down a bottle of Gulder this weekend?
Softly-softly with sympathy o!

That Togo's Team was machine-gunned is no longer news.
That they were mourning is nit news either!
That they were the only team that travelle by road, against the advice of the ANC local organising Committee's advise is also not news.

Questions still unanswered are that:

Who gave permission and arraigned for them to travel by road?
Was money not provided for flight of the team members?
If Money was provided, what there an attempt to substitute "Flight Ticket" for "Bus Ticket"?

Should people in the Togolese F.A. and Sport's Ministry not be held responsible for the death of those who died and charged for manslaughter, at least?

Now, in the heat of the moment, the Minister ORDERED the team back home, despite all pleadings.
After they were home already, there was a change of mind this morning, to COME BACK!

NOW, CAF said please STAY AWAY, WE DONT WANT YOU ANYMORE

This is despite the fact that none of the other teams that will play TOGO ar against their coming back!

Is this muscle-flexing by CAF right?
Should TOGO not be allowed back?
What lessons do we learn from these?

What do you think

A nation of deceit, inconsistency, uncertainty and brazen corruption!

If this is true, Andoaaka and his gang of thieves must be made to face treasonable charges for lying to this nation for more than one month!

I dont blame the peeps for doing that o!
In Lagos especially, if you leave your land vacant, some peeps will build on it and then COURT CASE GO BEGIN!

That is, even if they dont resort to hired Killer!!

@Choco5

Why are you still replying if your talking about dignified silence??
Why not stop all this??

Even to this unwarranted question, l will still maintain a dignified silence 
That is what "George_D" has been asking for!


@tanimz, [quote]Last page, I tried searching for it on google maps and it only takes me to East West road and not the school.[/Quote]
Which of the "Rumo" is it very close to? Or give me the nearest "big town" to it. May be "other Maps" are much more detailed.
I am not too familiar with PH roads and this weekend is busy for socializing, to do a detailed search.
Right now, l am watching Arsenal Vs. Everton. (Pls forgive me)
Score is one-all.
Which team do you follow in the league?


Cheers.

I have decided to maintain a "dignified silence" on this issue (thats why l said encore, in my post) and as a show of respect to other posters like George_D, who has sued for peace on more than a few occasions.

Whether the other party and his "Otimkpu's" like 'that one' who was not bold enough to come out and abuse me face-to-face, will let the matter rest, is another scenario.

Like someone said, "I rest my own case too" 

tanimz,
I would do the search and get back to you.
But may l ask, you could do this yourself since you're obviously connected to the internet? I am willing to assist in working through it with you, just in case you need help. We will do it privately so that no one will accuse me of offering their business secrets for free, at least in our "limited" Naija sense!
Cheers.

I want to thank "Jaymdee" for the question he asked.

It is time we Nigerians take responsibility for our actions.
You work hard for your money and one Telecoms company defrauds you of it, WHAT DO YOU DO?

COMPLAIN! LAMENT!! COMPLAIN AND LAMENT MORE!!!

When are we going to transit from that situation of COMPLAINT to the NEXT LEVEL: Taking positive action to seek redress or our Pound of Flesh

I dont know but our docility (l would have used the word "foolishness" but some people might feel insulted) seems to be the bane of most of our problems.

From Poor Governance, treasury looters, lackadaisical government employees, to treasonable Assembly members: We just swallow it and wish God would come down to play our part of the responsibility!

It may be because we are sooooooo selfish, we are even selfish to ourselves (Remember Fela even mentioned it in a song where he crooned that "Army man go slap your face, you go dey look like Monkey: Fela must have been so annoyed to say that )

Seems we can never do anything that will benefit others, then it progressed to the stage were we can even do anything that will benefit ourselves!!

For example, read  the post by "toni tone" He was defrauded twice by MTN! And all he did was complain and cough out more money! and he is not the only one, its a general behavior

Its not an individual battle but each individual must make up his/her mind that l would do whatever it takes to get justice in this land.

With the advent of GSM and Internet, its no longer impossible to associate with people you dont know but share similar values with.
Why cant users band together and "punish themselves" by saying "MTN, if you dont stop this behavior, we will boycott your Network for just one week, ( we would not call nor pick MTN related calls). l know it will cause pain to some users but MTN will feel it more as a result of lost revenue! and if it continues, we will start a campaign of general boycott of your Networks? Just one of many ways to demand what is right.

This is how changes are made through Mass, Class Action.
We dont even need to bomb their office!  

Everyone takes the Nigerian Masses for granted! WHY??

DONT JUST COMPLAIN, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT PLEASE.

Take the British Airways campaign that happened on Sahara Rptrs and Nigerian Vilage Squr (deliberately mis-spelt to avoid Seun's Spambot!) as an example. At the end, B.A realized that we could actually affect their profit and eventually came out to redress the situation and offer a pitiable re-conciliatory effort. It was small but l tell you, it was a starting point.

Why should we be defrauded on internet services which are almost free in other countries? Why is Nigeria always different?
Even a whiteman with a conscience would come here and become a fraud, aided by fellow Nigerians!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

From Yardua to the National Assembly, from Fraudulent Network providers to PHCN, from Contractors that collect Money and abandon the job to Policemen that collect "illegall #50 taxes" on the road, we've had enough.

Lets talk to ourselves and regroup to TAKE ACTION (not just talk, talk) to save ourselves or else, WE ARE DOOMED FOREVER

Just my own ten cent.

I have chosen to be "mischievous"   this time around but l am doing it in a jovial mood so, peeps should not take offense!

I noticed a lot of advice and surprisingly, castigation and an attempt to embarrass the Poster! Like the Good book said, "cast the first stone, if you have no sin"?

Where l am going is that some  people are "grandstanding on this grammar issue" and since they say "He who must come to Equity, must come with clean hands".
I will highlight a few examples.
just on this page alone!
@lwkmd

you must be an ingrate coming out to embarrass your wife publicly like this.where was your mind when you were dating her.

By definition, an ingrate is someone who, given something, is unappreciative towards the giver!
Can l ask what it was that you gave the Poster? His wife?
How does seeking help in improving your wife translates to being an ingrate? Is this just for the sake of sounding like someone who has the command of big english grammar?

or this one @anataala

oga, what is your problem, abi u want to divorce your wife because u are having an affairs on so called socialise babes, better think twice, as per as she can communicate, no wahala, u how are we sure your own english is excellent. pls what do u [color=#990000]have at your olevel in english[/color]
Now, the man has already stated his problem, and you still went about asking him what his problem was?
Again, the man did not come here asking for advice about how to divorce his wife, being a delicate issue, why insinuate such?
Now your own written English is probably worse than that of his wife, judging from what you've written! for eample, "You dont have an affair(s?) "ON" somebody, you have an affair WITH somebody! and to pluralize it is even worse since you can not use "an" with a plural, it is singular!!)

And again the way you used the phrase "so called socialise," is mind-boggling!
I bet you would have written: "with so called social ladies"  if not that English was a bit difficult, right?

Once again, you cant write "what do you have at O'Level English.
Should have been "in" your O'Level English.

No take this one from "airzzee".

Truly I cant stand that. I couldn't have even married her in the first place. Anyway, everybody has their own criteria and yardstick for a life-partner.
,, ,But they have improves tremendously now;, ,; They improved beyond comprehension.

First, what cant you stand? A good woman who doesn't speak perfect English? Is it leprosy or HIV she has? okay lets see whether we in Nairaland can stand you, on your chosen standard!

You can agree with me that Nigerians do NOT like reading. I doubt if your wife is an exception.

Now, you cant say everybody "has", the correct word is "have", as in everybody "have" their own criteria bla bla bla.
Again, you cant say "they have improves  tremendously.  
Since it is in the "past, present-continuous  participle", it has to be "they have improved tremendously!  

Now, which Nigerians are you referring to, that dont like reading? Count me out.
Most of us finished all the Hardley Chase series, Mills & Booms and one other Nigerian author series whose name is not readily coming to my mind now, before the age of eleven! I read so voraciously that l would read even the wrapper of things like groundnut, bought at the school gate

Well, by their English we shall know them!

BTW: dont take this too serious, my intention is just to provide a funny angle to this discuss, not to malign someones grammar or diction though l bet you wont like being used as an example[b][/b]
Please dont take offense O! (prostrating and rolling on the floor in pleading).

Mischief! Mischief!! Mischief!!!