₦airaland Forum

Sterope:
Are we talking about her or the poor kid now? Obviously, she is a very silly woman but it does not mean the poor kid should suffer more.

The poor kid is not suffering or did you hear the kid complaining? The woman needs 500k monthly salary or pension for life

Sterope:
I wouldn't trust either one with a child but a rich man who goes around sleeping with women cannot be trusted with bringing up a child. How often does he see his own child?

was she not aware before she got married to him? Gold diggers every where

Xisnin:
Do you think you would have survived this long if someone didn't pay to take care of you?
Do you think kid survives on stones, wear leaves as stones and pay school fees with sand?

I take back my question if you are still a kid.

it Is gold digger support

PrecisionFx:
The child is the son of a former state governor who receives pensions n alawi totalling tens of millions of naira yearly. His son should enjoy his wealth, He owes him that obligation and it is also backed by law.

It's child support, U pay according to what u earn.

it is gold digger support

Turantula:
The useless man even impregnated her junior sister join.
Anything APC touches turns into ash

so if the man is useless what about her sister that opened leg..lol. did she not see other young corpers or struggling guys to marry and build future? She went for money and she is still going for money. 500k to take care of her child ...lol Gold digger

mikejj:
is not about cheating here..it about you..the day you have a serious misunderstanding with your wife/girlfriend .since you are handling her phone..every chats you see in her phone with any guy even with her own brother,you will definitely start seeing every normal chat that's wasn't a problem before as serious issue.... I

That is not true... Anyway some ppl can be foolish tho. They can interpret something even when there is clearly nothing tho

Atlanticfire:
That does not prove that the woman is cheating and it is not enough for divorce in court.

However you can divorce your wife for no reason. Just pack your bags and move on, tell her you are no longer interested.

Having a passcode for chatting can also mean that she doesn't want the husband or anybody who has access to her phone to pretend to be her and chat on her behalf.

The truth is so glaring but then we always find a way to fine tune it. Cheating is a process that sometimes start from inappropriate chat and casual flirting... infact once she is already doing that know that the only thing left is just time and space to conclude the transaction...lol

mikejj:
well maybe that's how you understand it...good for you

oga you are probably cheating on your wife or girlfriend that's why you hide and password your device. If you like keep deceiving your self

mikejj:
for me I don't support couples checking each others phone especially chats..this act has ruined so many marriages and relationship..because of unnecessary suspicion that were not true..but well what works for Mr A might not work for Mr B...it's differs

The point is not about checking or doing police duty with your spouse phone...The point is how can married couples not have access to each others phone? What are they hiding from each other? If they cannot be transparent why are they even married in the first place? Please 90© of the ppl that claims privacy bla bla end up having many inappropriate chat on social media hence the need to keep it secret... If you are trustworthy then you have nothing to worry about when your spouse have access to you phone. Chatting has destroyed so many relationship and marriages because it is foundation of cheating. The best way to stay faithful is to limit communication with the opposite sex when you are married...once you constantly flirt with the opposite sex then there is a chance that you can act on the feelings that you are stirring up

Katier00:
wait until you walk in her shoes. Yes she made the wrong choice but willing to amend her ways. You can't just leave her because of that singular act

The problem with modern day ppl is they commonize cheating in marriages to the point where alot of young women now feel it is ok...smh. Please it is a big deal and don't try to make it look like it is just a singular act.

Katier00:
Do not beat yourself life happens . so just forgive yourself that is first step to recovery, forgive yourself ,yes you did something wrong it is unacceptable anywhere ,anytime any place, but life happens the question is the way forward stop judging yourself and have a decent conversation with your husband .you can lighten up your bedroom, he's just in his forties , he's not 70 . I believe he still have an erection so you can work hard and get that Dream man that you've always wanted and fantasized about . then for your colleague just look into his eyes and tell him it's over, tell him you're a married woman you have children and you respect the institution of marriage tell him all that and he will leave you . so let's just say this is a mistake, it is when you repeat it again that it will become a habit so don't beat yourself about it and I must commend your honesty we are human and sometimes we feel that way, you will feel like sleeping with another person that is not a spouse its natural anyone that will condemn your action is just lying I'm being hypocritical. so please you are just being human but don't let your flesh rule you because you are going to lead yourself to your own destruction ,be strong everything will be ok. one more thing please if you know the kind of husband you're being married to and you know that it's going to change everything by telling him that you slept with another person please don't tell him .just remember, don't do it again ,don't let the flesh possession thank you

it is different for you to feel and for you to actually act on those feelings... cheating is not mistake, it is by choice. Cheating is a deal breaker for me. I will forgive you but we are done for life

MarianaTrench:
Yes that is what he is saying!

Why would you want to check your wife's phone?

not necessarily check but why should I not be able to have access to my wife's phone? To me if you put restrictions on your phone and I do same then we cannot be husband and wife...if we must be husband and wife then we must not have restrictions on a common device

mikejj:
sir you will agree with me that he went to far for checking her phone.. His suspicion might be wrong you know.. And if she say sorry that's also part of the nature am talking about..

I don't understand what you mean by went so far in checking your wife's phone? Are you saying a husband cannot go thru his wife's phone?

MariaLavina:
Nobody is mandating it for men to date or marry broke girls? It's a thing of choice. But men decide to go for them for fulfilment. You know Nigerian men feel fulfilled when they are able to spend on their women, it's an ego thing.They will rather go for women they can control with their money than independent ones.

Aside that , traditionally it is expected of the man to earn more because he is the provider.That hence the focus on man's financial stability and not the woman's.

I give up on Nigerian girls...smh

MariaLavina:
Lol..Op isn't encouraging women to be lazy or dependent in any form, she's only encouraging guys (financially unstable ones) to work harder instead of wailing or reliving in self pity. Truth is Nobody want to be attached with failure and every being aspire to associate with someone above him or her either financially or socially.

We don't want broke girls too...go and encourage your fellow girls to become financially stable too...lol abi them be handicapped

CruellaDeVil:
This one wey never see morning food chop dey talk about $

This is not a post to brag or to shame broke men, I’m simply advising y’all to make money. Trust me all your bitterness and anger would vamoose when you do

the problem is there is always someone richer...lol so even a rich guy is not even safe with girls like you. To afford basic life in Nigeria seems like rocket science that's why girls like you think this way. It is quite understandable tho.

bigiyaro:
first you make the money, then you aquire the power after that, you can buy all the pvssies. .

this is what drives the average Nigerian guy...lol pussies...We are finished as country

EmperorKpee:
Better to die than not have money. Omfg! This is a living testimony that I can marry any woman of my dreams as long as I have money. Money to most women is like Banana to Monkies

so your entire purpose for life is to marry any woman of your dream...smh

EmperorKpee:
Better to die than not have money. Omfg! This is a living testimony that I can marry any woman of my dreams as long as I have money. Money to most women is like Banana to Monkies

when you don't have money you think a wealthy man will take your woman, when you have money you will think that a quiet nice broke guy can still be hitting your woman...lol. life is not about fine woman infact I am tired of all this talk of broke and woman self... Poverty level and the inability for Normal ppl to afford basic life has a real serious impact on Nigerians.. smh

PartnerusIsBack:
Please if you are a descent lady, educated and ready to have a serious relationship that would lead to marriage, then feel free to send me a message via WhatsApp on +2347062534866. Please add the number this way else you won't be able to reach me. I am for real. Thank you.

lol...do we expect you to say you are fake before

chinchonglee:
Mehn i see ntn dere..

I was helping my ex wash her cloth whenever I was washing mine.

lol you be normal house boy na....no wonder dem ex you

justmag:
See that's the problem. Sometimes it could be the girl showing the most interest. It happens. I kno this girl that really really liked me and always wanted to hang. But she still takes a while to reply messages.

how can someone really really like you and yet take enternity to respond to ur messages? If she is busy it is understandable but if not....lol me I will delete you instantly. Mutual Respect is key for any relationship

GreatResearcher:
If I go to market to buy garri and d seller says it's 20naira per cup of garri I should give the seller 10k per cup in order not to appear cheap. Your logic!

mad ppl every where....so sex looks like garrito you...smh for your logic

GreatResearcher:
With 500naira one can get laid.


500 naira can't afford a decent meal yet can afford a Nigerian girl..

you that paid 500 to girl because of sex you are also very very cheap

Platony:
Its a welcome development.

100k is understandable for the members but 500k for speaker is too much. At least 350 would have been ok.

lol....this guy bro na politician

peteruuu:
Really? Can you prove your point sir?

He who finds a wife...lol. God did not say he who I give a wife... clowns everywhere....how do we verify if you actually heard from God or your mind?

lilwetdick:
your logic is fluid..so i shouldn't write about what I don't know, if I don't know I wouldn't be writing this at first..it is like telling someone not to speak at all, I am sure you don't own my freedom of speech and expression so I can write whatever I want.

you can also tell this to social scientists and economist, they shouldn't speculate or budget for the future because we don't know the future

3 yrs old shut up

lilwetdick:
NO

so how can a single person just wake up and type rubbish to teach ppl about marriage when he or she doesn't even have a single experience....

lilwetdick:
lets see if love and understanding will pay for food, will send your children to school, will pay for healthcare when one of your children get sick or will pay for waec and jamb fees.

true love and understanding only happen on American movies, not in real life situation... so-called love surely can conquer things on movies but doesn't conquer things when the family is in hunger in real life

how do you define lack of money? How much do you need to have for us to now say you don't lack money? Are you aware that some ppl earn 500k a month and they are still on debt? Please help me define lack of money and also help me relate it to the rich that are also having problems in their marriage. Thanks

lilwetdick:
Money is very important in marriage whether you like it or not and if you like call each other gold diggers, the lack of money will be the downfall of your marriage, also sex and differences in ideas in child training can also destroy a marriage but the lack of money is the greatest of all, you don't have to be a billionaire or a millionaire to be in marriage but you need to have enough money to take care of your wife and kids when you eventually have one. let's be realistic, a family is not only a social and emotional unit but also an economic unit that needs cash to survive and sustain, the lack of it will definitely destroy this unit. no wonder, we see a lot of men and young boys run away from their wives and girlfriends when they get them pregnant, it is not because they are not ready but because of lack of job and cash to take up the responsiblity.

pls let's be real with ourselves, I love you can not only sustain a marriage, at first it will be nice but when reality struck in, that sweet love will turn to sweet hate and disrespect even from your children. this is not about gold digging but about the reality of life, if you like, continue deceiving yourselves with unrealistic stuff about women and some red pill or blue pill nonsense, it is fun reading those stuff when you are young, Hot, bored and unmarried, but then when you want to get married, money and the ability to work will be a determinate factor for her to know if you can take care of yourself, her and future kids.,

who is gonna pay the kid school fees, who is gonna buy diapers and do many things that requires cash, pls if you are not ready for marriage, don't do it, forget love, love will surely die, if you are not ready for taking this solid responsibility as a man, pls don't do it, masculinity is a hard job, masculinity is constantly working and taking responsibilities and the lack of job and the inability to work to take care of the family can kill and destroy a man self-esteem.

so why do rich ppl divorce? The problem with Nigerians is just that life is so hard and ppl cannot afford basic easily so now we are wired to think that once you have money all your problems are solved...lol.

Boss13:
Hahahahaha- you are funny. Believe me. If you adhere to it, you will only meet women of higher status and the other question is - are you a man worthy of such women. So when you finally meet one, you appreciate her and work hard to keep your marriage.

life is not all about status it goes beyond that

Boss13:
I have read about some many sad tales on Nairaland about marriages and I have seen similar pitfalls. Please note that my post is from a man’s view and does not aim to bring down women. I am also posting this because many young men do not get solid advice on how to pick their partners.

It is only when you get married that you begin to understand marriage. However, young men, if you adhere to some of the advices below, you will avoid some marital pitfalls and approach marriage from a logical point of view.

No 1 - Never marry for love. Love should never be the underlying factor to marry a woman. Why - marriage is a long term commitment for the foreseeable future. Love is an emotional situation and just like every other emotions, love comes and goes. There would be days and even months, that your partner irritates and disgust you. If love is the main reason you marry, young man, you would be heading for the divorce court.

No 2 - Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.

No 3 - Assess and conduct proper due diligence on your future in-laws. Know your in-laws properly. Know their source of livelihood. Ensure your future in-laws are doing financially well as well as the siblings of your future wife. You will not enjoy your marriage when excessive financial burdens fall on you. Except you are excessively wealthy, which I doubt as a young man starting off life, and you have a big heart as well as a big house, don’t marry a woman where you cannot verify her family income.

No 4 - Don’t marry a lady from a broken home. Many women will paint a story of not leaving their marriage because they are from a broken home. However, please note these women do not have the knowledge, opportunity or privilege to be in a stable household. Many of them did not see their mothers adore and respect their fathers. Many only get to hear about negative information of their fathers. These are the first set of women to leave their marriage when things take a downward spin. If you want to have an idea of how your wife would treat you, look at how her mother behaves or treat her father and if the father is not around, this is a huge risk.

No 5 - Never marry for beauty. I don’t need to explain this so much. Beauty fades as one age and even if it doesn’t, beauty becomes inconsequential during marriage. Behavioral attitude matters a lot. At some point, your wife’s beauty becomes non existent and you begin to see her as an individual and not because she is beautiful.

No 6 - Assess your future wife’s friends and those who influence her. Women are largely insecure. Many rely on the advices of their friends, family, or spiritual leaders to make decisions. You have to assess the character of the person who has a major influence on your future wife. You have no choice on this because this individual would be running your home from his/her own location. If the individual is of no good and your future wife cannot cut ties, don’t marry such a woman. If the individual is of good standing, befriend such individual.

No 7 - Polygamous home - if the father of your future wife do not have a strong influence over his large family, run away.

No 8 - Never marry for food or sex. These are things a man with good income can easily get. Don’t let this form an opinion for selecting a wife. As you age, your sex drive dwindles down. Also, you get preoccupied with other more important things. For food, we can all agreed many of us eat out either due to the job or recreational purposes. Furthermore, food and sex do not define a man. If this is why you want to get married, think again.

No 9 - Never marry an illiterate, semi-educated or poorly educated woman. This is actually because of your kids. Women play a pivotal role for the early development of kids. An educated smart woman would raise smart kids.

No need to just get married....Stay alone and you can also have kids without getting married. You mistake love for infatuation