₦airaland Forum

can't do withouut the laughing cow on hot toast

what i find is a lot of men mistake curtesy for respect!

it is only naturally that when you meet someone you are overly cuterous and polite etc, however as you become fond of each other and more relaxed you settle into a routine and some of those initial efforts are done away with.

doesn't mean she doesnt respect you any more it just means she is fond of you like that and feels you can both share a joke in certain tones etc, without feeling the need to constantly impress or walking on egg shells

it only becomes a problem when this exceeds a limit and ppl start feeling taken for granted - familiarity can breed contempt

izeek:
i saw that part, put assumed she told him nothing happened.
afterall them dey open minded here.

this kind openess na wah ohh - in fact from that statement me sef no go even reply because i think na joke una dey joke - you and her are not serious in your courtship or r/ship or what ever ship you are having

sesman:
@luxiore, i was just trying to help a damsel in distress,

anyway back to the original topic, I think it was quite brave of you to slap the guy, he deserves it,

Those bendy buses are a nightmare, saying that , one of my colleagues was fondled on the tube copule of weeks back on the central, she said she shouted at him and called him a perv, the guy was so embarassed that he got off at the next stop

There was a guy that got for groping women on busy underground trains , see link

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Article/200806413521977?f=rss

why thank you - hahahahah - yeah i can imagine some guys take advantage of busy underground lines - lol

i know some guys purposefully lean into me and i back off until there is no way to go and they are literally ON you!!! euchhhhh - then they act like they are reading!!! (hiss, )

@nnayi - wait ohh - come come - you are in a r/ship with a girl that says she has a bf and she was going to sleep round his house?

me i am confuse oh

waterworks:
na wa fort his kind open toasting oh! i dey feel u loixoure
as for me never really and i must commend that person for slapping that guy i would have never ha dteh liver to slap the guy. you never know! dem go dey wait for the next time to shank you!! lol

hahaha my dear thanks ohh (though i no know wettin i do to spark this kain open toating / interest)
- as for my reaction na nature ohh - i just felt VIOLATED - like someone had taken advantage of me, and my body was not my own - obviously when i realised he could have been dangerous and i was really being foolish - i thank God every day for His mercies

JJYOU:
stratford to oxford circus by bus that should be almost 1 hr. lai wont try it. central line no dey work?  that boy na pervert. he probably have done ot before.  he has a bed for waiting for him at her majesty's pleasure. foolish boitypical. my cousin told me a lady was deported for fare evasion 2yrs ago.

my dear when i was a poor student could i afford the tube? - tube was luxury only for emergencies and exam time. Other wise na one week bus pass i dey buy!

probably he did it before and got a way with it - he smelt like weed - so maybe he was on something - shame the police were ot checking tickets that day dem for qucik arrest am for harrasment for me

yes - somebody elese got deported earlier this yr travelling on that bus wihtout a ticket my mum told me - i come dey vex say if you know you are illegal, why the hell would you NOT buy a ticket on a bus route you know is frequesnted by police - why chance it? dat one na thiefing foolishly

tytylayor:
Why do we lie to get what we know won’t last with us or for us, most especially in relationships?

because we are hunman and we are greedy and if we see something we like and want we want it now regardlkess of whether it was ours or not in the first place - we are constantly wanting and for some ppl deceipt is the only way to keep satisfying that want

she didnt she married a FAKE husband

some ppl can pretyend during courtship just to get the cat in the bag and then start unleashing their triue colours - bythen it is too late for her and she has no choice but to understand no TOLERATE him (because she no get options)

soon they start saying ' he's not teh man i married' yes he is, he was just hiding that side of him all along

ppl make una dey shine well well and encourage your partners to be as open and as free with you as possible - even the best actors make mistakes and once you pick these up you will start having an inkling into the real person you are about to comit to

Lexiwhite:
Hehehe, bus 25 - thats the one they call the free bus abi

hahahaha yes ohhh - any doubt why you get the free riders on there? - lol - ur a typical londoner

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Thanks, you too [/color]

[color=#9900ff]Are we taking turns now? [/color]

errmmm YES (nods happily)

yes ohhh

i was on the Bus 25 one day (those of you Londoners will know it) its a long bus - and the ride was equally long in my student days from Stratford to Oxford Street and so naturally as one would do on a cold winter morning on a warm bus - i fell at sleep.

ah ah - after a while i could feel someone's hand sliding at the back of my seat behind my back - i thought this cant be - anyway the hand starts massage me and 'pressing' the space btwn my back and my bum bum - i was so startled i woke up with a fright thought i was being raped or something

turned to the seat next to me and so this guy smiling, telling me i have got lovely nice soft skin - omo if you see the slap - (first time i have ever slapped a man/stranger - hope it is the last too) the guy was taken aback - held his jaw and said he was only trying for us to have fun - everyone on the bus was watching - is aid what fun? the guy seized me by the arm and was about to beat me up - but then some one had already reported to the bus driver and he came to the back and threw the guy out of the bus - but he promised to 'sort me out' from that day i can not sleep on a bus and if i am ever on the 25, i watch out for him (though now i cant even remember what he looks like)

Lexiwhite:
The ibos have a word for it: Iwe oku, that means Hot Anger, or Ajo Iwe which means Bad anger. . . In both cases, it is an extreme form of anger and in most cases only women u love can cause such.
Do u stay at home and mend her? do u send her off to her folks for training? or do u go and cool off?
Most men were doing ok b4 a woman came into the picture, so when they are pissed they remember the good ol'days

i'd never thought of it that way bless him - he muist have been going through alot of mixed feelings at that time!! eyahhh

i suppose for most guys the option would be to walk away - i learnt something today

but still he will come back and eat my food ohh - because if i refuse to cook because of anger (which i am yet to find the place in my heart to do) he not like it one bit! so him sef go chop by force

ermmm NO cos i try to ignore all guys and pay attention to only the one i am with - and if i am single and i meet someone i like and think i could fall in loce with - i cut contact until i know the initial interest beyong friendship is mutual

i no come suffer for dis world and i refuse to knowingly be the architect of my own heartache!!

better lose a 'good friend' than nurse a heart break - dat na my opinion. i dn't do the whole we are friends, i love you but we cant date shit!! unless of course you are in a r/ship which i respect in which case i wont even harbour such feelings for you in d first place

Lexiwhite:
Take a few sips of gin n juice, go shopping, or if i'm really pissed i just take a trip out of town to a place i've never gone before - lodge in a hotel and get the best treatment for the entire weekend. . . Then i can choose to return in good time for work on the monday or i can go from the hotel to my work place for like a week

thats cruel!!! - i wouldnt like that - the first and last time my bf left home when angry, and ate outside - after i had come back from work and made dinner - i called him and cried and begged that he came home, when he did after he finished being angry - boy there was hell to pay and he was still apologising for it after 2months -

now he knos no matter how angry he gets, you do not eat outside when i have laboured for love and cooked your dinner after working a long day myself - you dont disrespect / mistreat me like that - whats with the going out? - stay home face your demons and work through it - after if you wanna go out - that's fine - he will not be doing that again! sets the tone - same way i know there are things i wouldnt and shouldnt do when he is angry!!

Lexiwhite:
I'm not very sure i want to be the first in there, honestly. I'm not a sucker for morally-correct attitudes or behaviour - its just boring, I like them tested and trusted, virginity has lost its importance for the likes of me.

well well a man after my own heart - modern, honest with himself, realistic and likes something a bit dangerous!!
obviously as savvy as you are i am sure you will both get tested before going in there protected or unprotected
Morals in the right context is necessary and important but no point ppl wearing it falsely and thinking it is their guaranteed passport to a happy marriage

its funny how some of y'all say that

there are ppl i know that they 'behave different towards a bf / gf because they are Not yet a spouse'
the minute they marry - expectations change / soar and all of a suddent the person you thought you knew is now a stranger and you have to start from scratch to understand or TOLERATE should i say (because now you aint got much choice) him

just pray that your bf/gf is showing your their true colours during dating or courtship. and if you are going to marry taht person spend as much time as possible with them in their natural habitat (their home) and see how he likes things done - 90% of behaviour / attiitude is unspoken and starts with thoughts and then actions - read inbetween the lines, ask questions and see whether the answers are just for your ears or theya re for real

Lexiwhite:
That may be a desire, but it is also the cause of many breakups and breakdowns

Be careful what u wish for. . .

why because the man was not experienced? or because he would want to achieve that experience whilst in matrimony?

ohhh by the way
@poster - its not about THAT PARTICULAR ONE NIGHT - its about being the first to get in there!! and for some men, it is power trip to know no one else has been there before them and it is their truly for ever!!
so they will wait - wehether it takes them all night or the next week - they will wait afterall most of them have waited till d wedding already

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Have a sense of direction. Know what you want, know yourself. Know your limits.
Communicate! Can't stress that enough - People like to 'interpret', 'speculate', follow 'misconceptions/preconceptions'. Make the other person feel comfortable so that he/she is open enough to express what he/she feels and thinks.[/color]

told you i would stop typing once you started - i agree

Lexiwhite:
And then when he doesn't know his left from his right, after getting u all high and then leaving u dry, u'alls frown and kill his dignity??

In my experience, most women seem to want a guy who can rock that boat and captain that ship - even in rough waters!

isnt that only the case when you are deasling with an experienced woman? if you are both virgins on your wedding night then that's be.

surely a woman saving herself for her husband should also have the right to a man that saved himself for his wife?!

i genrally withdraw into myself - no talk, no contcat, i don't wanna know, just leave me be and F*ck off - i attack work furiously when i am angry - anything to keep my mind away from thinking about the issue - i am one of these ppl that can work things up in my mind just by thinking about it andmake myself angrier - so i work, clean, cook, study, read anything but talk to him

Him? - same he keeps to himself - but it takes him a while to get over that sour mood - i have to beg and cajole him but when i get a smile then i know its well and truly over and it will never creep up again - cant stand guys who remember everything you have done to them - though if i ignore him  too for long enough he comes and apologises

When we are in a better mood - we talk things out - and he apologises more for his anger and taking a while to get over it - but its all cool - you gats to know your man right!

Life goes on - when you can work through issues and can spend 24/7 in each others face and not get ticked off by it then you know you're on to a good thing.
cos lets face it it's not the good times that define a r/ship its how well you get over the bad ttimes- ifat all

edogram:
it dosent matter, no big deal, after all i will be very happy to get a virgin.

would she be the one to disvirgin you? i am sure she too will be happy

isn't it funny how guys expect virgings and cant seem to think that women too may want same??

speak to someone - if you believe in shrinks - see one - if you dont!

then believe in yourself! believe that you deserve good things and the things you see as bad aren't that bad it's justa way for God to take you on step closer towhere He wants you to be.

if you dont belive in God - then see it as shit happens - stop blaming yourself for bad things and stop looking inside you always for answers - look to what other ppl around you do to make you feel that way.

Surround yourself with positive ppl - not negative type that bring you down - ppl that love you and want the best for you and will celebrate your success and help you work through set backs quickly

Good luck hun

Tisha313:
I am 23.

They seem to be very hesistant in getting involved with me. I have experienced plenty of AA guys who expressed some interest in me but pull back and then I see them around campus with an African American looking girl (lighter complected)

look you are old enough to know who you are and have self worth - if a man can not see beyond your complexion and love you for who you are then stuff them

meantime you STOP looking for excuses to dislike yourself and START CELERATING your origins!!

Tisha313:
I really don't understand what this means

how old are you is the question i should have asked first?

and the behaviour towards you is it negative or positive?

platinumnk:
which is true however, there worse falls on the latter, anybody can hide behind a computer, while u cant nessarily see evil in everyone u see with your own two eyes, signs are present.

It is a huge issue here, check out the movie Hard Candy.


Through their actions u shall know them.


yeah, gotten some friends that help me figure out situations that I was facing , but past that

is that you are keeping quiet - past that - or you dont want to reveal anymore? c'mmon you can tell me

@poster - are you scared of toasting man on your runs?

yeah yeah @iice

ok i will not stop - but u gotta start typing again i miss your pinkness all around teh place!

gone are the days when you used to sort ppl out one by 2 - you're one of the reasons i came back

AA men will hit on you if they feel you can understand WHERE they are coming from - its just them they cant help but notice a sister and try to make a sister notice them

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Word

_{Girl, i don't have to post these days, just copy yours Glad you came back} [/color]

hahaha i see say you miss me well - hahaha didnt you miss my humour, my sweet sexy lines - just the fact that my presence means less work for you eh? nonsense gurl

thanks hun, i missed ya too actually - maybe i should stop replying so you can start typin again