₦airaland Forum

eyah poster
give her space - try not to call her - when she is ready see what kidn of sorry explanation she comes back with and then take it from there

you dont want to run after a guilty party - if not she will think she can get away with murder - if you are plaanning to marry this girl - set the tone now. let who ever was wrong make the first apology and you can both apologise and try to work pat it

as i said in another post - a woman who does not declare herself taken from the onset and does not discourage toasters - knows what she is looking for and is not ready to committ to you 100% - you have to carefully think about your future with this sort of woman - i am sure she is a loving caring soul - but when she is ready to commit and settle she will and automatically discard of all toasters

Lexiwhite:
My babygirl has her way with everything! and i mean everything, is this how a marriage works? I can't even watch my soccer team on match days - whether on tv or at the stadium! We go where she wants, eat what she wants and buy what she wants! or else there is trouble in the horizon

She's so strict about some of these things too, and while i like it to an extent, i'm a bit worried about how i can fix it as soon as possible. Surely there has to be a leverage point in all these

baby you're hooked!

it's good, your woman should be your baby - you should feel like you want to give her the world - but as is human nature give someone that much power/control and they will probably abuse it at some point - unless of course you trust her to put your happiness in the equation - if not, like you said you want to achieve some balance before you feel like she is taking over

i have my way sometimes - and if i dont - i get some serious apologies and make up - chocolates, dinner out - the works!!
but usually i let him have his way - seeing himm happy makes me happy and he feels like making it up to me for compromising on his behalf!

not dated anybody on here

but one of my very good male friends today in on NL he doesnt come here but we met about 2/3yrs ago and we have been buddies ever sice

wouldnt trade that friendship for nothing

i havent gotten to meeting any other ppl on here though - so maybe i am not qualified to answer this question

van der jo:
@LUxoire,
In essence its better for the women to have many male friends and expect you to understand?

nope its better for both parties to know their boundaries and stick to them - cos male or female insecurity doesnt have gender preference and that shit is uncomfortable and can make some ppl paranoid even where these friendships are harmless - talkless of when there is underground toasting!!

finally (exhale) some one who thinks like - when i yarn dem say Luxoire be Extremist / fundamentalist - for feminism!!!!

exactly - why do men feel by sleeping with a babe dey have 'used' her and the girl too will be feeling 'used' shoooo - just tell him same way he 'slept with you' you too 'slept with him' and you enjoyed it same way he did- no body used any body! sometimes we give men that power over us

my ex was trying to use this to make me feel bad - going around telling ppl he slept with me- i just told those ppl to go ask him to RETHINK THE WHOLE SITUATION AND TRULY ASSESSED WHO WAS USING YOU physically and psychologically?

from then on he shut up - supposed he wouldnt want to find out the anwer - in case he didnt like the truth

nonsensical idiots

izeek:
funny how the female folks feel thier male friends are harmless,
and when u do same, they say the girls have ulterior motives.

they always seem to sense the girls with these intentions, and most times end up accusing the innocent girl.

lol - trust me us women have a built in detector for home-wreckers and we are hardly every wrong - if your girl who loves you and tels you she can feel another babe giving you the once over - then usually that girl isn't so innocent - trust me!! (this doesnt work for those of you with over protective/jealous wardens (sorry i meant girl firends)

as long as you showyou are hard working enough and willing to make and pay your way and that of your family you can't be faulted!

a woman should support her man, and if her financial status means your both get a more comfortable life - then why not?

sometimes the guy is dating the friend just to get back at his original point of interest

as long as the guy is genuinely into the friend then i say good luck to them - if it is a ploy to make the other jealous - then he is a swine

gentlegg:
4. Divorce option. When you believe that afterall you can part ways with your partner, you tend to put less effort in trying to keep your marriage.
ETC

i completely agree with the above - most ppl treat it as some sort of trial and error thing - thinking aftre all if t doesnt work out - i am not jailed there i can leave!! so the least uncomfortable thing - they leave

where as if you knew that you could not leave - you would do your best to make your stay in matrimony as happy as can be

lol - cos sometimes when the shoe is on the other foot - it hurts more - dont think she ever realised how this could ahve mader you feel.

some ppl are like that - now she knows how it feels she will b willing for both of you to cut off any unneccessary friends of teh opposite sex

morpheus24:
What do I say to that?

I believe any girl who can go that far has Kolomental problems and is a very dangerous type. Like I said, to conive in such a manner is madness to me and never in a million years, baby or no baby, even if they put gun to my head will I be with such a person cause i'll be too scared of what they could do to me in the future.

so not just Nigerian girls as you said in your previous post? - it is agreed that[b] ANY GIRL[/b] that would do such - one tool short of a tool kit

tell him i like you alot - i wonder if we could try it out - wettin dey? no be 2 head him get?!!

yeah - i have seen it happen

unfotuntaely human beings like the 'taste of the forbiden' and the thrill of the chase - and it feels like some sort of trophy if you do succeed - for some ppl you become more attractive when you are taken.

its like other want to taste what your partner is enjoying.

i know i have found times when i get more male insterests when i am in a r/ship than when i am single.

morpheus24:
Update:

WE DON CATCH THE GIRL REDHANDED!!

It took an elderly friend of ours who had gone through a similar experience to advise on on what to do regarding this issue. He suggested we find this girl and confront her relatives with the matter.We took his advise and over the weekend found out where this girl lives(which is with her parents). We took the risk and confronted the parents and told them what was going on.  They were perplexed and quite agitated.  They immediately called this girl to come home that there was an emergency situation . When this girl came back home, the expression on her face was quite priceless. As her parents questioned her she figited and stammered alll the way  until she confessed that that she was lying and only did what she did cause she was hurt.

You for see the number of slap wey im papa give am for face. Chei!. He was still quite upset and ordered all of us out of his house. We obliged without any incident and went our merry way.

I have to confess that this whole incident has completely turned me off Nigerian girls. I get a sick feeling in my stomach anytime I see one of ya'll now. Too much nollywood videos don make una dey craze for head.

If someone can go to this extreme, what are their limits, they could as well result to assasination by poisoning or even "juju". Chei


As for my friend, we have advised him to go take an HIV test as soon as possible cause that girl dey KOLO for head.

Advice to my fellow guys. There are reasons for rules to this game, If you break them you will suffer the consequencies. WORD!

that is how some of you lot mis read situations - i know of white chicks that have done this too to brothers to keep them hained to them for life and also for the want of a mixed race child - what do you say to that??

i think both parties are to blame - the guy for playing away in the first place and secondly for not doing it properly witha condom and being caught out

the girl for thinking you can trap a guy in a r/ship with a baby even if he doesnt want you like that!

who knows maybe she didnt even want your friend - as she said, she was hurt and just wanted to give him a hard time by making him believe she was pregnant

either way i hope everybody involved learned a lesson - the right lesson

i think a few reasons are to blame
- Media - yes ohh, we get drawn into a world of fantasy by the media - how marriage should be etc, so by the time we are wed and it doesnt live up to those preconceptions we are disappointed and frustrated - but then inst every marriage unique? the media makes us wish for things that are FICTION - simply not real - ppl open your eyes

- haste - i know there is pressure on the African woman to get married by a certain age - as time has gone on - the limit has increased and ppl are getting more educated - however there is still the pressure there that you are 30 and not yet married - but all your firends are married with at least 1kid - no be competition my sisters - what is yours is yours

- wrong reasons - marry some one for the right reasons - not because they are rich or handsome etc, because sooner of later the wind will blow and we shall see the anus of the cock - real colours will start coming though and as soon as they dont like what they are in they want out

- incompatibility - it takes more than love to work a marriage - you need to have same beliefs, morals, values - you need to want same things in life and work in same direction TOGETHER - you need to COMPLEMENT each other in ways that make your union stronger.

- Religion - be it Christianity, Islam, Hindu - sharing a similar belief system will see you though the hard times and improve your bond

- lack of understanding - we are all individuals - no body will ever be PERFECT and be just the way you want them to be - just because you disagree does not mean it is doomed to fail - appreciate that your opinions will vary on some issues one person needs to back down, compromise and understand the other person - it needs to work both ways - you both need to give to receive

- unwillingness to try hard - ppl give up before it has even started!! - kids get in, things get a bit complicated and difficult and all of a sudden they cant handle the issue - cant handle the hard work - ppl need to go into marriage things it is probably the hardest and most rewarding thing you will do for a long time - you need to put in effort to reap good benefits with your partner, kids in laws etc,

Ezekris:
The problem is she called them all frnds but all of them are toasting her,if i complain she will say that i do not trusth her,plz i love her so much i do not want to lose her 4 any body help plz.

then trust her enough, and stop being insecure

talk to her - she too on the other hand should tell those guys up front where to stick it - or stay friends - no more toasting

I used to be like that - but then i realised the only reason why i wanted these 'friends' around me was because i was not getting that same attention from my bf at the time and these guys made me feel wanted / appreciated.

but as soon as i got into a r/ship where i had all of that plus my best friend in my partner - i had no problem telling those guys where to shove it seriously and cutting off from those that couldn't respect the fact that i am in a r/ship and respect my man!!

sad but true - us women would do anything we can to protect our own - esp where we feel we have invested alot and want to stay there long term then our partner's happiness mean alot and we wouldn't knowingly jeopardise that

so its either your gf is getting something from them - that you ain't giving her - or she is not as deep into your r/ship as you are - men are always going to go after women, they have no way of knowing whether you have a bf (as you no dey wear ring) its up to the girl how she decides to act towards those men and treat them

Secretz:
Me again? ? ? Sweety, have we met before?

No we were not born with the position and status, . . . .neither were we born with a cigarette in our mouths!

whether God created man and Made woman is besides the point, . . . . was it not from the man he created the woman? he took part of his rib right? So whatever a man wants, a woman should also want! Whatever a man can be, a woman CAN also be! If a woman is dumb, the dubmness was derived from the dumbness of the man!

that made me laugh for real!!

Chief_D:
Someone should ask that lesbian "Luxoire" to go and get either of Amebo or lexi pregnant.

She is doing a good job advertising her sexual perversion here - I dont think this is a right forum though.

You thought about sex change yet

Well to y'all; Real women are happy they are women and support their men - and by doing that, they get to "influence" most of his decisions BECAUSE he feels absolutely responsible for her and her well being (hence her being involved in everything)

People like Luxoire can suck on lemons while her man goes on doing her friends that are actually female

why the personal attack? - let's stick to teh topic shall we?

if you have read my post - you will see that i say both sexes are there to COMPLEMENT each other - i don;t believe any is better than the other - just that we are different

women do not claim to be better because they are wired to have children and tend to teh family - so men too should not claim theya re better because they are wired to feed, protect, fend and be responsible for their family

,amebo no1:
but men get beaten up by women

true - but how many cases of those have you come across?

hackney:
Women will always talk alot;[b]that's just genetic.
About world balance or whatever you call it , i think the women should start with inventing something.
Women are a simply welcome guest to the 'comforts' a man has built and by comfort i mean everything you set your eyes on from dawn till dusk.
Status is not earned by how much you can talk.
its a man's world ; just enjoy the ride ladies.

Someone mentioned earning more than men ; more than the men in your office or in your village,which one?[/b]

ohh get over your over pampered masculine ego will you!!!
1 - i have met men who talk more than women - and by that i mean they dont shut up!! - that is an individual thing and has got nothing to do with genetics!! or gender - you are right women are more inclined to share their emotions - but it doesnt mean they talk alot

2 - about women inventing something - how on earth can we manage that? - will you carry the baby for 9months, birth it, breast feed it, raise it and cook your own meals? will you ensure those children go on to be the next inventors?

3 - and by saying we are 'welcomed guests' - that is one of the most insulting/demeaning thing i have ever heard a man say! towards women - yes, your father's sperm contributed to create your life - but WHO decided to let you carry on that life? - who decided to welcome and keep you in her body for 9months? - who decided to allow you see the world? who decided to breastfeed you and strengthen your immune system who made sure you were well fed, and healthy? who cooked the food, bought with your Father's money from his inventions?

just because we have MORE PRESSING, IMMEDIATE responsibilities assigned to us by nature does not mean we should be undermined by you in any way - reverse the roles and get men to start bearing children and see whether that does not free up the woman's time to be more inventive / creative? why do you think most successfull women started a family late? have children with Downs syndrome? use artificial insemination after a successful Carree? etc, because you can't cheat nature and neither can you cheat God -
when women are at their most fertile - to reproduce and raise children
men / the world of work - is also at that stage where your career should just be taking off

so the few women who choose to trade off babies for career - suffer later,, but they go on to show you they too can succeed in the man's world

@V3 - chei   - and some girls worry about shaving every 2weeks because men dont like it bushy - lol - if only they knew!!!

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Down below where? Abeg no spoil me ooo [/color]

ROFL - hahaha spoil who? you ke? wait aunty @iicey - me spoil you? ahahahaha wonders shall never end - as if you dont knwo the 'down below' or its hidden pleasures

,amebo no1:
u make alot of sense luxoire, i know its a mans world, but why men, are they better than women? the last time i checked 90% of men r not problem solvers , critical thinkers or creative thinkers, why does the society call women 'weak' why must we be behind a man, even when some of us make good money than them men

they are not - this is only more pronounced because they make the rules - and unfortunately we have to live by them - society as we know it is based on rules and laws formed by MEN, whetehr in Africa or Europe - they took over due to physical strength and biological differences.
In the begining i believe women were naturally pre-disposed to look after their off spring at home (as nature woiuld have it) and men had to be the hunter-gatherers, to fend for their family, hunt etc, - so when offices etc, started coming to place already they had that assumed 'air' or control over everything because they earned whilst women stayed at home - earning meant going to work - meeting different men, forming councils, commissions, where the men sat together and made rules to govern them at work, their lives generally they didnt even consider women, because they were not in the 'outside' world as such. why make rules for someone who is not vene in the council or in the workplace or in the equation generally.

it is only now that those rules are begining to change to accomodate women and their skills and talents

sexyLeamon:
does chemistry really matter in a relationship? or is it just movie and novels stuff? and what the heck is compatibility? I mean do we have to do so much analyses before starting a relationship?
no wonder many people are single

Compatibility in my books matters more in for LONG TERM relationships than chemistry. chemistry is good to have - but not a necessity (if you dont make it a biggy) as you can grow to love someone and accept them and even start fancying them - but in order to live with them day in - day out, you need to be COMPATIBLE with them.
you need to be each other's companion in life

@poster - it is a man's world - that is why they are more male leaders - however over time as things are slowly begining to balance and women are gaining a stronger voice globally, we are begining to seethe rise of women in leadership positions, as presidents and they are doing the job just as well, if not better than some of their male counterparts!
i think the chances between men and women are neither equal nor fair - that whay you see more male leaders. doesn't mean men are better.

if the scale were balanced - and there were more male leaders, then saying men are better will be justified. but as the scales are imbalanced - we will never know. all we know is that we are different and no one is to say women would do a worse / better job given the chance

,amebo no1:
but why cant a woman lead, yes i know women are 'front benchers' but people find it odd, is it becasue we cant be trusted or is it because we dont have the brains to handle situations?

neither of those - we are intelligent and have the brains - just because we may have a different way of dealing with things does not mean the other way is better

Sasha009:
This is the way the world has been since Adam and eve's day. God created Adam first and made him the caretaker of the garden while he assigned eve as his partner to help him along the way

Remember men are from mars, and women re from Venus, we re completely different beings in thoughts, expressions, emotions and physically. Men re more leaned towards being the stronger sex, more determined sex, more decisive and they do the task easily and faster than a lot of women.
In saying this, women re trying their best too, and we contribute what we can to the society and world, some women re president and leaders in the society and their chosen profession, but all in all, men re stronger sex.

The quote " what a man can do, a woman can do better" is only to make women feel better about themselves. But its ok, we re not complaining. at least we do our best. In 100million yrs to come, men will still always be the stronger and more oppressing sex.

i agree we are DIFFERENT sex - but i do not agree men are the STRONGER of both sexes as strength differs from situation to situation and individually. So where men are generally physically strong - do women not undergo child birth?

i think we can not draw generalisation because we dont know what it means to be the other sex - we dont know what it is to be a man - neither do men know what it means to be a woman with menstrual cramps, child birth etc,  so whilst one gender may claim strngth over the other i think God in His infinite wisdom, made us all with strengths and weaknesses so that we may COMPLEMENT each other perfectly

ideally east london - and the already washed one -

i no want the wahala of having to wash it

thanks

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Nope, just eyebrows and full lustrous locks [/color]

woaw - what a relief!! for a minute there i had images of thick, black forests in the down below and thought to myself ''she cant possibly LIKE THAT now can ? or can she? - thats why i asked''

Gabry:
Yes oo. Because he is always teasing me and also he is very very playful towards me but to others, he is as serious as Seun

hahaha - ok now i c

i say try and make both families come together - but ONLY do this if you and the guy are considering marriage - no point spoiling ties with your family over an ordinary r/ship that could break down anytime

you and him should pray about it and God will intervene sooner or later. if you and the gur want to settle down together - then ideally it would be good if both families got on. if not, it is your life NOT your parents - they have had theirs and some of them messed it up by screwing around (literally) - so y'all better make the best decision for yourselves and your future and pray your family acceptsit in time.

it is not going to be easy - so brace yourself - for better for worse

debosky:
Is he a long legged goat or an ostrich with a beard?

ROFL - you no serious at all!!!

@secretz et all - y'all crack me up - i sign on here and na laffter - till i sign out again!!

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Too much maleness i suppose - i'm always being accused of being a male in a woman's body
Yeah he remembers Thank goodness he does

Oh lawd, how's you know? I love thick brows. . .[/color]

he wouldnt be hairy in other areas now would he?

Lexiwhite:
I love her laughter, its infectious, and when i look at her face, i can see her sincerity. I've dated many, those far older than me and those younger and never before have i met someone so close to perfection!!! Her skin texture is smooth and there are no spots, she does not need make-up to look good and her skin doesn't look like it was immersed in oil. She is 5"10' tall, her waist is nicely curved, her legs are straight and her steps are sexy.
She's got dimples, very slightly gap-teeth, a spark in her eyes, thick stubborn but lovely ebony hair She's a size 10 - the African figure, my friends envy me. . . but hey, i cannot shout, I've just always had good luck all my life

hope you dont take that for granted - she sounds nice and you sound genuinely in love - enjoy

Secretz:
you this luxurious woman! Na wa for you oooooooohhh, you just want to know all my secretz abi? ?

I think I have to keep this one very secret oh.

hahaha noo why now? you have come this far - pls share, onow you piqued my curiosity i wanna know more

p.S i am over 21 so its kool i can handle it spill - no secrets amongst sistas (in advance)

@iice - hmm why dont you remember? does he?
has he got bushy eye brows?

@Diva - thats right - i hear you sis - but as you can tell from some forums on NL som ppl date girls they wont marry because they are too UGLY for them - so thank heavens your guy likes you ohh