₦airaland Forum

No money no lasting love

Sheminator:
Am 38 girls have shown me pepper..chop all my hard earned money and ran away..am poor now the one am with now that want to marry just dey misbehave...
She will be online on her WhatsApp for days and she won't say common hi or hello to me until l complain she will just say sorry...
For two years now she never give me 1 naira am d one given ..though I never asked her

And you think you’re still in a relationship with her? You’re dating yourself o, she’s not your woman. She’s treating you like you don’t exist. Drop her and move on.

Impostor:
Hello NLders

I just want to share my experience. I want people to learn from others.

So recently I started dating and meeting women with the mindset of getting married as everyone around me keep shouting that I am getting overripe. Some are even wondering if everything is ok downstairs lol. How can you not be married up till now? You know those types of comments. But how could I have gotten married when unemployment no release me until 36? Nigeria is something else. It was at that age that I finally landed a decent job. I am even lucky to be where I am now.

So many youths are underemployed/under paid. Less than a month ago, a good friend who is also my course mate messaged me to express his frustration at teaching somewhere for 50k and he said he's now ready to make money anyhow even if it will take someone's blood . It's just a threat out of frustration.

The problem now is that I don't know if there are still good women like our mothers in this country. I have met so many young girls that I have stopped trying, the quest and hunger of these girls for money is just too much.

You are unemployed and you want me to buy you an iPhone of 150,000 Naira and she was making so much noise about it. Meanwhile I use a phone of 30k lol. Almost all the ladies I am meeting are unemployed and expensive. I met one girl awaiting NYSC, she told me straight up, that I will have to be taking care of her, that she's tired of dating broke guys so she has decided that any man she wants to date will have to be responsible for her completely. It sounded like a transaction. Though she's a very pretty, tall girl but I am not even after all those facial beauty.

Another lady told me she has half of her rent and she's looking for the remaining half. The stories are so many, I could write a book with them. I don't even know how to get working class ladies. But I have now realized that Nigerian ladies are not even the problem, it's the economy. Many young ladies are struggling just like guys and the only way they can meet up with their bills is by dating 3/4 guys.


Advise from my experience.

After my NYSC, over 10 years ago, I had this mind set that I won't get married without a job or funds to take proper care of my family. I think that mindset MAY be wrong, so many people still think this way.

I will advise you look at it again because it may take you 15/20 years after University to become comfortable (not your portion). Let me be sincere with you, this Nigeria is getting worse by the day especially with the type of leaders we have, who think only of themselves and their families/tribe.

For example, you can see for yourself what is happening with the outbreak of Corona Virus in the country. After 2 infection, people started advising that we should stop foreign flights, they refused until so many infected people got into the country, now they are running up&down. If we are lucky to get good leaders after now, it may take another 30 years of continuous good leadership to save Nigeria.

My advise is that after your NYSC, if you have a supportive family and a good/understanding girl friend, just marry her and start your family. You two will Hussle together and God will bless your hustle. You may ask why? Because most people finish around 25. If it takes you 10 years to become stable and get married, if you are lucky, you will have your first child at 36, 37. By the time you are 50, your child will be in junior secondary.

Be wise money is not everything.

This story of yours is directly relating to my present condition. I’ve decided to get married this year no matter what. As young guys, we usually make the mistake of waiting for the time we’ll be financially loaded before getting married, which doesn’t really pan out the way we want. The money might not come earlier in our 20s or 30s and we make the mistake of waiting and wasting valuable time instead of getting married at a youthful age. Guys, the main thing is to have a job, even if it’s not paying much and then find an understanding lady that will be ready to settle down with you. The fact is that not all ladies are overly materialistic and looking for rich guys, a lot of ladies just need an ambitious and purposeful man that has a means of livelihood to settle down with. Again, I wished I didn’t wait this long before deciding to get married. Anyways, it’s not too late. Thanks for your post bro.

Liliantalks:
late 20s

sent you a mail

Kylekent59:
Why mention "Igbo man" ?

you should have skipped the "Igbo" and continue with your comment.

I am 100% sure you come from the west, because I know a Northerner can't type such.

You’re also guilty of the same tribalism by saying you’re sure he’s from the west

To think there would be a time when corrupt naija police will tell people not to come to the station
So police is no longer our friend
Corona don humble dem by force

This move should ordinarily reduce transport fare and the prices of other commodities in the market, but in naija when prices go up, it never comes down. It always defy gravity

I hail you boss. Facts only.

Fisher007:
Ok I feel we don't have the same ideology on the different Simps out there.

You may not be a simp at work or financially, but be a simp to women. It varies though.

Now let me focus on your simp based on feminine/ female/women which leads to simping in relationship and marriage.

The social programming of a man is to be a simp. Be a provider and a hero for women. You need to be a Captain save a hoe after all her body counts before marriage and marry her. You need to be a white knight. You need to always help females once she is in need. Now most women know this and capitalize on it. They take advantage of men trying to be a hero.

Recently I started calling normal Simps (Adam) and redpill awoke guys (serpent). You see women love and codedly hangout with the serpent while Adam is good at what he does ( simping and providing). Women disrespect Simps but end up marrying them because of what they can provide.

That is why most married women have practically no respect for their Adam ( husband) . They know he is predictable like Adam. He has no knowledge of what sort to offer. They have seen him finish. Most cheat discretely behind their husband and even if you tell oga, he will never believe it.

Most guys on nairaland at least 95 percent are simp. They have not taken the redpill yet. They still live in a fantasy and delusional world on female nature . They are all in a stage most redpill guys were before. They have been programmed since birth to be Adam. The music, movies, friends, colleagues and family they hangout have orientated them to be a Simp for life.

You can't blame them. And the worst is they are not seeking the knowledge yet. Most will at old age when they realise their so called beloved wife/girlfriend/female friends placed them in an illusional grandeur of the real reality. They must go through that pain and suffering of being a simp. Knowing that they need to unlearn all the nonense and start afresh.

For your own peace of mind, let them be. Because if you try to explain or convince them, they will shame you, insult you or make you feel uncomfortable for speaking the truth. Simple.

Touching

Trigalee:
Bros does FTC mean first time comment?

First To Comment

ovoSoft:
^^ oga they aren't learning, they are working for you on a project....that is why you need their CV and also require the best, Andela as a company is actually helping that's why they don't pick the best but those that are actually willing to learn (they even get paid eventually)

I saw a post and dropped my comment. ...is that a crime??. I have noticed something about nairaland; any job you drop here people will actually apply, but don't come here later to call programmers in nigeria lazy and dull cuz you actually picked the lazy and dull ones.

My comment summary is PAY YOUR PROGRAMMERS no matter how small let them fuel their generator to work for you, they are humans and they eat FOOD.

your job description shows you are working on a project - web developer (backend and frontend) and mobile app developer, give ya BOYS small thing

My brother, people like to use others for their own personal gain. It’s even worse in naija because of lack of lucrative jobs. You will see a company looking to employ graduates and paying peanuts salary in this harsh economy. The painful thing about tech sector is that companies hardly accept intern/junior web developers who have put in effort to learn coding on their own. Even if they want interns, it will be unpaid internship like the one this poster is advertising here, forgetting that people need to feed and cater for themselves too. It’s so pathetic and discouraging.

ubunja:
okay let me think of putting everything in a writeup. But so many of my writeups touch on issues on the document.

I'll explain that equation and tag you. I have this on my diary.

I'm repeating myself at this point. But The summary of the document is that women are having secret sex with Players and good decent guys are not invited. Why? Because good decent guys would be too shocked if that world was brought to light. Most guys won't handle that truth without falling apart.


But tell me, have you ever thought that women were angels and pure? In your history? Because even the best of us are sometimes tempted to think that. But we quickly come to our senses. It has happened briefly even to me.

Before now I used to trust women generally, thinking that most of them are morally upright and faithful partners, but my perception has changed now owing to the way most of them cheat without conscience. Even married women are not left out in the cheating game. I have also come to realize that a woman’s love is based on the material resources that a man can provide, what sort of love is that?! Let me say that I understand the female nature to a good extent now due to the redpill message and my personal research. I’m more enlightened now and will continue to remain so.

ubunja:
I generally don't take live calls. That document is one of the most important documents on the net in terms of game. Too bad many folks worked hard to debunk it and claim its satire or a joke and nothing more.

Can you explain this part of the document ”They also understand that value + trust + attraction = sex (rough lazy model).
Value = being someone in the secret society (it can also be SO many other things, but being a member can in some cases be sufficient) Trust = not telegraphing interest. Attraction = increasing her buying temperature by making her emotional (emotionally aroused, not necessarily physically aroused.. the former will cause her to be too
illogical to prevent you from causing the latter, when she’s ready)”

Also it will be nice if you can just give a brief explanation of the whole rules in the document.

Oh my God, you just gave her a knock out

RisenPhoenix:
An element of logically provable truth stands on its own. It is not reliant on the bearer or transmitter.

What I don't understand is your vehement hatred for his person, that even drives you to contradict yourself. First he has 4 baby mamas and dupes women for a living. Now he's gay. I find your behaviour very curious from a psychological perspective.

In your view, everyone seems to need urgent medical intervention except yourself. It may not apply, and I hope it doesn't in your case, but have you ever considered that it is the medically insane who always tend to hold that view?

I just followed you bro, you’re too much.

RisenPhoenix:
Well that is your own opinion. From observation and in line with evolutionary survival, it seems obvious that women are inherently hypergamous and feelings of love undermine the full implementation of hypergamy, so it is logical that they do not feel real love. But society frowns at gold digging so they tend to mask this instinct with pretend values that are considered more sublime. But overt or covert, women are gold diggers. No woman would marry a man she considers would not be of financial benefit to herself. Fact. They are not capable of real love. Fact...all of them.

Men on the other hand did and still do fall in love. Evolutionary wise, our cavemen ancestors had to get attached to a woman in order to provide for her and her children. This is where love was needed to propagate the species. To a woman, love was an unnecessary hindrance standing in the path of going over to the best provider, to a man, love was essential for the clan's survival, keeping the less attractive men hooked to the surplus unattached women.

Nowadays, love is just an over abused cliche. Women still subconsciously use it as a tool to subdue willing subservient men into slavery... the designated betas. Men profess it in an attempt to get sex; the red pillers only carry this behaviour to an extreme, that is all. On the other hand, alphas are just men who do not permit any form of external control over their activities, so they tend to have red pill tendencies. My area of divergence is only that not all red pillers consider promiscuity to be a conquest in itself.

If you lived in the West, you will see much clearer manifestations of this attitude. Because of our African heritage, women traditionally have to suppress their natural instincts here, so it may not be immediately obvious, but the hypergamy is covertly there. And you should be careful of trying to idolise women. Most men think it makes them 'good guys' with women. But not only is this naive, it is also counterproductive; the good guy almost never achieves the objective he thinks he will by doing so.




He has not made a secret of his lifestyle so you are not saying anything new. Many people keep trying to attack his person with diverse unverifiable rumours. What they fail to realise is that this does not detract from the truth of his message. Facts are only refuted with overriding facts.

Deandean:
And thats the problem...when results is the only thing we use to measure hard work or effort.you'll see empty heads who hardly move a finger get double the result of a legit hustler,...but when ppl see money...boom! Hez a hardworking genius. I have a business and even though my friends think i'm extra ordinary to have grown it so well,i personally know it wasn't by hardwork or smartness...its just God that favors me,there countless smarter in tougher ppl who re yet to get there.they re not lazy,there legit hustle will pay someday too....judging by results alone z wat push guys to do the outrageous....don't just sit there with a privileged start to spit ppl as lazy...life ain't fair to some of them.

My brother, don’t mind that girl, that’s how they all reason. When a man is rich, a woman believes he’s hardworking than other legit hustlers. Unfortunately, this view is also shared by the society in general. The society respects and worship a rich man, and believes he’s the ultimate hard worker.
What many people do not realize is that wealth doesn’t come by hard work alone, if it’s by hard work, laborers should become rich, but there’s a certain supernatural support that makes a man wealthy wether he works hard or not.
Wealth = work + grace & mercy

hupernikao:
So sad how some Christians has become so lazy to study God's word. It's more sad, to see same not able to convincingly argue his case or explain using the scriptures when beliefs are being questioned. The silliest of all as seen in most response above is "God can decide to do anyhow he likes, he is God". How does this sound to you? Such utterance is a result of very bad training and learning of the scriptures. The scriptures reveals God to us, read and find out. That is the essence of the scriptures.

How will you say in one stand that there is no evil in God, he is loving and in another stead says he can use evil or send evil for whatever reason. It takes a low IQ to utter this and also believe the same.

Some will even results to abusing the fellow who is seeking knowledge to know while forgeting that the reason many come online to ask questions is because their churches have refused or neglected to provide answers or disappointed in explanation.

You can't keep silencing a heart that seek for knowledge. The solution is God's light and it comes only through and through when His word is rightly divided and explained.

Psalms 119:130

" The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple."

Sadly that is hard to see among many Christians even here.

Until we start to be serious with studying hard to know and find out and be able to explain the same, To examine the scriptures and diligently expound and explain, we will only be making a mess of our interpretation of the glorious writings and scriptures delivered unto us.

I truly wonder what was actually been taught in many denominations today that the simplest of all posers will be handled badly and sadly even by believers. May God help us all.

So what is your answer to the topic? Since you have studied the scriptures, provide your own response.

martins18:
It's more like a long distance something. so we where having a chat today and she told me there's a course mate of hers, who always calls her his girlfriend at first she thought he was joking but today he gave her his phone to talk to his brother now she doesn't know how to tell him to stop without hurting his feelings. I was like tell him you already have a boyfriend nah and she said no that he's funny and fun to be with, she doesn't want to loose a good friend.... Man am done, anything she does is none of my business henceforth. I have really learnt a lot of lessons from stories here.

That’s another fvckmate of hers, not course mate.

If this guy was earning 40k or 50k salary would you be killing your self like this?!
Guys we need to double our hustle o, na money be fine bobo
Only money and resources can make a woman love you crazily like this!

Abortedfetus:
My issue is that I met a girl in my church that am really interested to marry.
She is this really church type, sings in choir and all.
She is in her 2nd year in school.
When I told her my interest, she said she is not interested in any relationship for now until after school.
That I should talk to her mum which I did.
The mum said she has to pray about it that she does not want her child to suffer as she has in marriage.
That was like a month ago,
We still see in church and she is really friendly with me i.e the mum, but she has not given me a reply.
The girl has gone back to school.
I told her am ready to sponsor her education if I can have a commitment from her that we are together.
That we can get engaged pending when she is done with school.
But she reluctant to give in.
That she does not want any distractions.
What am really worried about is that she is asking me for financial support in school which am willing to do and which I have been doing. Her parents are not really that comfortable in cash and I know she needs the money.
Am I making a mistake that I might regret or is there something I can do to commit her more to me so that I don't spend my money and at the end,
We don't get married.
Am working and I earn over a 200 thousand excluding my allowances.
I need your advice.
She made a statement to me onces that is making drag my feet,
That if I can't wait for her to finish school and I see someone else, that am free to get married.
Am a just confused right now as I don't want to look cheap by giving her a condition before helping her in school neither do I wanna look foolish by helping her in school with an expectation of marriage.

Don’t give her money again! I can bet that she will not marry you. Henceforth when she ask for money, tell her you’re broke, stop wasting your money, time and resources. Give that money to your mother and sisters and let them pray for you.

Mymynd4u:
A lady created a thread about having a yoruba man as a bf and before u no, yeebos guy started bashing the image of yoruba men... This thing is simple, let every man /woman marry their tribe.. Shikena.. Let's avoid all these insults sef ehn.. If you be Yoruba, u can marry delta (delta people still fancy yorubas), Kogi and so on, Pls ignore Igbo girls... Let Igbo men marry their women and there will be peace in the world.

Yoruba parents advise their kids that they can marry any tribe but not Igbo. Not all yoruba Cox some are liberal.

Igbo parents too does the same but with too much strictness.

One novice even said he hates yoruba bcox they betrayed them in d civil war but he failed to point out that their lord and personal saviour Ojukwu ran away amidst the war..

It's very simple, if you be Igbo, Pls go with ur Igbo man

Yoruba marry ur fellow yoruba. It's very simple and there will be peace in the country.

Igbo can go and marry hausa if they think yoruba ain't good..


Peace for the nation jare.

Abeg no fight on this thread ooo

https://www.nairaland.com/5652721/think-falling-yoruba-guy-what

The person that created that thread is just an attention seeking tribalistic bigot. Showing hatred towards Yoruba people is common to most Igbos. Let her go and find a man from her tribe and stop stereotyping others.
Every tribe has the good, the bad and the ugly.

Sugarrveiii:
I am not tribalistic please

You’re a foolish low life tribalist

Sugarrveiii:
igbo

You’re just a tribal bigot trying to paint Yoruba guys bad, It’s obvious that you’re making up this fake story. No wonder naija remains perpetually in deep shit because of tribalist like you.

The same popular oko oloyun?!
Baba God na your hand we dey o.
Save us from gunmen, bandits, killer herdsmen, book haram, ansaru and every other bloodsucking agents of darkness.

Witchersunited:
Maybe it's me or somtin

Do people bother to check things

The crisis affects the north more, they kill their own people more than Christians


I'm not a Muslim but Christians over do things


False alarm and panic everywhere, see south west that nothing happens to talking about regional Police, how many people died in South West? Look at the case well and u will see that the vigilante group is a tribal affair, benue that has suffered alot aren't even talking about policing, it's Lagos with only 5 deaths

So southwest should wait till Fulani killers finish them abi, clap for yourself.

Anneka101:
I think most of us think we just lost our pride immediately after sex, most especially how most of these guys behave if they have sex, reverse would be the case.


No more constant calls

No more frequently chat


Attention would just be a thing of the past.

Most guys are scum.

You display your phone number on your profile page, you ain’t scared of scammers abi.

Happyfela:
Lol, I actually use to live in ogudu for a few years. I would second a post I read on this thread.

I don't care if ubunja lives in Ajegunle or Isale Eko...on a low i don't care if he plagiarize his writing too, I've gained some wisdom from them and that hasn't made me hate women overnight. I still love the female folks, im just smarter now.

Once again i don't care if ubunja is 60 years old, na una sabi

That’s exactly what I’ve learnt from his articles. I have better understanding of the female nature now and I know how to be smart in my dealings with them, even though I still like and care about women generally. Redpill doesn’t preach hatred for women, but being wise and smart in one’s relationship with them. #NoHardFeelings

luminouz:
She hasn't seen shiit yet?

You talk like a babe who just discovered that kerosene light stoves,forgetting that the same kerosene could burn his own skin.

The problem I have with you young 'uns is still your immaturity. There is a line between being an Alpha and being cruel. You are almost crossing that line because you aren't sensitive enough to switch tactics once you know she is in love with you.
What you need to do is to make her continue loving you and cruelty is not the answer.

I'm an Alpha,always real and raw. I needed to correct your mindset.

Exactly, when you get a lady to fall in love with you, it’s not cool to become cruel and torture her emotionally because she’s in love. Just show her that you also care but don’t be overly expressive with it or become too loving as well. Moderation and balance is key in everything, redpillers needs to know that extreme redpill results in anger and cruelty towards women, which is not the goal of redpill. After all, we are all humans.

bukatyne:
Funny thread.

Most of the guys on this thread seek to fight the way it was from creation:

When a man genuinely loves a woman, he will do ANYTHING to please her and make her happy.

That is why the Bible teaches balance and says women should submit to their husbands. So you both are pleasing one another and putting yourselves first.

As per Harry & Meghan, I have not done much research.

However, I feel that
1. Meghan should have counted the cost of marrying into the royal family and be READY to abide to their idiosyncrasies which honestly would be only during official duties. I am sure they do not dictate how she has her bath or what cour to paint her room.

2. Meghan leaving movies, marrying the prince, them leaving the prince hood and she going back to her movies sound like a game plan to me. No matter how 'rebellious' Harry is, he was breed for a certain type of life and discarding it all seems somehow. Already, he was the 6th in line or so therefore, the royal office Must have cut him some slack.

3. I hope he really investigated why Meghan divorced the first time and working towards preventing it. Let's also hope Meghan is not the fickle 'irreconcilable differences so divorce' kind of woman.

It would be a shame for Harry to give so much up and end up a broken, lonely man.

I like your objective view of this discussion, especially your point number 2.
Meghan obviously has a game plan that she wants to achieve. Anyways, time will tell.