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Fashion / Re: New Arrivals: Trendy Polos And Shirts by markpenk: 5:51pm On Mar 22, 2016
Monettmobile... bruv, could you list the prices of all these shirts and their sizes here as well as available sizes. I am very interested.
Literature / Re: Of All The Girls In Lagos (story By John Spurgeon) by markpenk: 8:30am On Mar 16, 2016
Nah... this isn't even remotely funny. And whoever said you write like the OP doesn't have the faintest idea. Just stop okay. Go learn creative writing and then open your own thread. Stop embarrassing yourself in public.
Omzie:
Sorry guys for the delay in posting. Had a tough schedule but I am going to post 3 chapters to make it up. Once again I'm sorry for the inconveniences my delay may have caused.

***
#Alarm Beeps# Lade lazily lifts her hand to turn off the alarm, rolls to the other side to notice Banks is not on the bed. She gets up, takes a stretch, and dizzily walks down to the living room to search for Banks. Walking down the corridor, memories of the previous night occupies her brain.








cheesy cheesy cheesy
See as dem serious dey read am cheesy

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Akpororo And His Beautiful Wife by markpenk: 8:48pm On Mar 14, 2016
So, let him upgrade his wifey... You can't be driving a range while your wife looks like a low class groupie... That aint right undecided angry
blessingee:


Do you know the cost of a 2015 Range Rover Sport? Thats what he drives o grin grin grin
Celebrities / Re: Akpororo And His Beautiful Wife by markpenk: 8:13pm On Mar 14, 2016
Come on man, Akpororo, you need to upgrade your wife. Why does she look like a poorly dressed fan beside you. I know the money aint all there yet, but you can still get lovely dresses, jeans, tops and so on for between 5- and 10k and she'd still look like a star. Haba.... upgrade this woman joor.
Celebrities / Re: OAP Freeze Fires: “Why Is Lekki Gardens MD In Prison & TB Joshua Walking Free? by markpenk: 9:32am On Mar 12, 2016
The answer is simple: Plausible deniability for TB Joshua. Officially, the man had little knowledge of real estate. His "fault" was that he hired a contractor. So, technically, he wasn't directly responsible.

For Richard, the answers are:

1. When structural flaws were detected in that same unit and they got a cease and desist order, they flouted/ignored it and continued building.
2. As the CEO of a real estate organization, the buck stops with you -you are ultimately responsible for the quality of your buildings.
3. While Richard started out well, the quality of his homes have largely depreciated. You can find a thread about this in the property section: https://www.nairaland.com/862800/lekki-gardens-estate-how-genuine
4. Richard has always been controversial. His actions have been that of someone who thinks he's above the law.
5. The govt needs a scapegoat.

As much as Freeze's intentions may have been good, he was asking the wrong questions.

Anyways, this country being what it is, I'm pretty certain Nyong will be walking around a free man in a few days with just a slap on the wrist -of course, after money must have changed hands and empty promises of compensation to the families.

3 Likes

Entertainment / Re: Checkout This Hilarious Dance Step In Africa(video) by markpenk: 5:29pm On Mar 10, 2016
The dude in yellow though cheesy grin cheesy grin

1 Like 1 Share

Literature / Re: Of All The Girls In Lagos (story By John Spurgeon) by markpenk: 11:26am On Mar 07, 2016
Holly Molly Johnsuprgeon014... turned on my PC this morning. While waiting for it to boot, I decided to flip through NL. Stumbled on your story and by God, have been reading feverishly. May I say that, you sir, are a freaking storyteller. I have not read a prose so good and with such eagerness and excitement recently. I see in you, the makings of a world class novelist -Watch Out Chimamanda. Bravo Sir, Bravo. I am subbing to this thread immediately and cannot wait to see how the tragic?* story of Banks and Lade ends.

4 Likes

Travel / Re: 7 Most Dangerous Roads To Travel In Nigeria( SEE PHOTOS) by markpenk: 9:00pm On Mar 05, 2016
OP, stop copying and pasting outdated articles. I'm sure you haven't traveled the lagos-Ibadan road. That expressway is in far better condition. In fact, short of a couple of bad stretches which typically take no more than 5-10 minutes drive, the road is in amazing shape. Those new stretches are so smooth that you'd be tempted to do 200km/hr grin cheesy. Abeg no do am o.
Nairaland / General / Re: 14 Photos You Can Relate To If You’ve Ever Had To Queue For Anything In Nigeria by markpenk: 5:03pm On Mar 04, 2016
Or this...

4 Likes

Career / Re: The Crazy Experience Of A Bank Contract Staff by markpenk: 4:36pm On Mar 04, 2016
Oga grammarian, remove the log in your eyes first tongue cool
asalimpo:
@xyz098
For a secondary school graduate you write very poorly.
Not to talk of an msc holder.

What was [b]WERE the CRAZY experiences you had[/b]? That's the main reason people clicked to read this thread.

4 Likes 1 Share

Travel / Re: Nigerian Man Removed From UK Flight Over 'prayer' Message On His Phone by markpenk: 10:58am On Mar 04, 2016
True that! The interesting thing is that the individuals with such extremist views and leanings are actually very few. Unfortunately, all it took for this to gain national and international coverage is just a few of those individuals. I reckon also, that it only takes a few radicals to do significant harm and injury. Thankfully, there are many more good and law abiding moslems who are some of the best people you would ever meet. These people are kind, large hearted, hospitable, respectful of your opinions/religion and will never try to lord anything over you. If only these folks were also a lot more aggressive with their qualities, who knows, they just might drown out the troublemakers.
ashkenking:
u just made my day .. in conclusion the man no smart.. be like mak i go buy shirt wit Boko haram inscription on it. why soldier no go aim me .even if i carry bible wiv mocrophone dey preach.. we nid to stay away wiv anytin incriminating. .
Travel / Re: Nigerian Man Removed From UK Flight Over 'prayer' Message On His Phone by markpenk: 9:29am On Mar 04, 2016
The reality is that the fellow passenger's concerns were legitimate:

1. Moslems in Luton are known for their extremism and intolerance. In fact, someone went as far as saying it's the "headquarters" for islamic extremism in the UK. Many of those resident in Luton are immigrants from arab countries. In fact, it isnt unusual to hear some moslems there saying they have no regard for the law of the land; just those of the Quran. Here's a couple of videos to back this up:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8WVkbXOHfM


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgKMI1wV0ps


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2nlIfn8tNA


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RhNoIhEEs8


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3tg74jxOy4

2. In this day and age, even any god fearing moslem will challenge anyone who belongs to any group called the ISI-men. After all, it might actually be an online group for ISIS recruits. There are a thousand and one other acronyms to use. Why use something similar to ISIS.

3. The call for prayer. As far as the passenger and the flight crew were concerned, he may have as well be asking for prayer so he can have the strength to carry out a deadly assignment.

Anyone who is smart nowadays, should avoid anything that draws unnecessary suspicion.

1 Like

Travel / Re: Welcome To Akure City (pictures) by markpenk: 1:25pm On Jan 11, 2016
Akure.... I miss this town. Served there and had a fantastic experience. Still have some nostalgia about the place. Oh well...

1 Like

Webmasters / Re: 10 Ways To Improve Your Alexa Ranking by markpenk: 2:48pm On Jan 07, 2016
There's no need for 10 whole tips. And ranking on Alexa is completely irrelevant. It's just a traffic measuring/website popularity tool. Nothing more. It does absolutely nothing for your search rankings. Just drive a flood of targeted and high quality traffic to your website and that will take care of itself
Mediapace:
Alexa Traffic rank is a rough measure of a website's popularity compared with all other sites on internet taking into account both number of visitors and number of pageviews on each visit.

To improve your alexa rank,these are the things you need:

1.You need a whole lot of traffic :
Traffic is the main source of good Alexa rank,All other points am giving rests on it,it Is good traffic good alexa [vice versa]

2.You need a whole lot of back links :
THERE Is probably nothing you want to do as a webmaster or wapmaster that you don't need backlinks,be it improving your s.e.o.,applying for adsense e.t.c. No exception with alexa too. You need a whole lot of backlinks from other websites to improve your s.e.o.

3.Update your website regularly :
In most site usually at the footer,you will see alexa widgets saying no informations to display. This is because the owner fails to update his/her website for months and if you don't update your site regularly again,your alexa rank will be increasing instead of decreasing

4.Have a nice S.e.o. :
If your contents are always on firstpage of every search engines,your alexa rank will be a very good one. Alexa ranks with S.E.O.

5.You must have a nice domain extension e.g. .com,.org,.net,.ng :
Have you ever seen any websites with subdomain extension having below 1000 Alexa rank,disgusting isn't it? The fact is that most of them are using their hoster Alexa rank,it isn't theirs. You have to get a nice domain extension to improve you alexa rank

6.Make sure you claim your site :
Claiming you site is a very important task,by claiming it,you are showing that you own the site. After claíming,code will be given to you to place in your html page,by claiming alexa bots will crawl your site more than before to give you good alexa rank

7.Place Alexa widget on your site :
Placing the widget on your website improve your s.e.o. As search engines will have your data more quickly And good s.e.o. Improves your Alexa Rank

8.Writting about Alexa as am doing now :
Writting about alexa is the recent research that improves your alexa,you know as you are writting for them,you give them traffic and backlinks,they will also send you unique visitors too !

Webmasters oya add 9&10

source:
http://www.mediapace.wapka.mobi/forum2_theme_112572675.xhtml?tema=6

Conclusion : You may practice all this and may not work,just keep trying.
They are various websites in the world,someone will have to take the 1st!

Cc Lalasticlala
Family / Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by markpenk: 10:03pm On Dec 22, 2015
It can be a bit difficult though, particularly when the person was your very[b]person[/b]
shegxi:
This is a non issue.....it is natural. It is called law of seperation and association. If u become a billonaire today, ur circles of friends wuld automatically change whether u like it or nt. Yorubas will say "20 kids cannot play 2geda for 20years". People will come into ur life and some will go, just make sure ur friendship benefits u at wateva point u have dem in ur life.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: A Letter To Recruiters In Nigeria From A Pained Job Seeker by markpenk: 1:52pm On Dec 22, 2015
Damn... I really like this girl cheesy grin
Family / Re: My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, What Do I Do? by markpenk: 8:46am On Dec 14, 2015
Honestly, your husband should be grateful. I don't see what all the fuss is about. Gimme a wife who pleasures herself instead of cheating on her man.

In fact, if I were your husband, I'll just stop you right there, take your hand, call someone to come take care of the kids, take you to a hotel for a day and have mad fun with you. In fact, I would ask you to do the same in front of me while I watch -I swear we'd have the best session ever. Talk to him and apologize, chances are he's pissed because even he does it -most dudes do- and he's just mad that he aint enough for you.

Most guys don't understand that pleasure for women is an entirely different ballgame. It's not about the "poking", as much as it is about the various ways they can be pleasured. Good luck
Idunnowhat2do:
Hello fam,

I got married and I only lived with my husband for a month before I got a job in another state, since we needed the money, I had to move. We've not seen for about 3 months. I just got back and I was welcomed by my nieces from both sides. We are currently hosting 8 of them, they are fun to be with. I love other people's children, I'm terrified of having my own.

We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, I sleep with the girls while my husband with the boys. Since I got back, we've been able to do it just once with the kids sleeping in the room. It was not enjoyable or comfortable. He gets back from work late and I am exhausted when he gets back because of the kids. It's 2 weeks now and I want to get down with my husband. He wants it too. My husband walks around shirtless and it turns me on every time I see him or hear his voice. We are a very sexually active couple whenever we are around each other.

The problem is that I could not take it anymore so I went to the bathroom, he opened the door and he caught me pleasuring myself today. I couldn't lock the door because the lock was bad. He's crazy and very angry.

What do I do?

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Why Does Recruitment Process In Nigeria Take So Long? by markpenk: 12:22pm On Dec 10, 2015
This is a very valuable and sensible post. All job seekers should read this over and over until it sinks in. Also, while you're waiting to be employed, writing tests and attending interviews, make sure to get more experience and certifications. If you don't have the money to get the necessary certifications -been there- learn some new skills over the next 3 months, and use that to generate some funds for yourself. Whatever you do, don't fold your hands and so nothing. Acquire a relevant skill. Study like mad. Learn new things. Remember, job seeking is a full time job in itself. You might as well prepare well and hard. All these will help further your cause and increase your prospects. Good luck in your job search.
Ephemmm:


While I agree with you that recruitment process in government institutions lacks merit, I disagree with the fact that the chance of getting employment in this country on merit is 5%. Don't be fooled by this wrong/premature evaluation especially if you are still an undergraduate. Truly, job is scarce, but the few ones available are for the best candidates. However, you will agree with me that there are some position that must be filled with right candidates as a matter of necessity in the operational activities of any firm.

I moved to Lagos after graduation all because I hate running after one politician all in the name of getting job. Things get though from the beginning, but with the passage of time I was established.

Private organizations are the best when it comes to 'meritocracy' in that they want to choose the best candidate out of the best candidates. In other words, their recruitment exercise is not the matter of whom you know but what you know as they provide a well-structured platform for practical tests and interviews before the final candidates are announced. This has been the norm in these organizations and it is still in operation till date.

Without knowing anybody, I have secured many offers since 2010 after I finished my NYSC and I can tell you that I reject offers and ignore interviews sometimes from these private firms up till date. In actual fact, I know many people/superior staff who companies beg to resign their appointment to take up theirs in the company I am working up till today.

Mind you, I have HND qualification in contrary to the belief of majority of HND holders that they are second class citizens when compared with their university counterparts.

Achievements sometimes depends on the grace of God, but it is noteworthy that our desire to acquire a desire must be fired always so that we won't retire our desires when things are going tough/in spite of all odds.




Business / Re: How Foreign Bankers Lure Nigerian Elite To Early Graves by markpenk: 2:50pm On Dec 01, 2015
Lol... too many conspiracy theorists nowadays. Do you realize the irony in your use of the word "Think"? Truth is not usually stranger than fiction. It's usually simply because people refuse to see it as what it is. And this mate, aint no truth. It's just some gibberish concocted to fool lesser minded folks.

You still haven't answered any of my questions by the way. And your points are so far off they are laughable. What do my questions have to do with the loots of dictators, the "mysterious" -to use your words- deaths of a few and "living in a white mans world"? Can we stay on point please?
themanderon:


you my friend have a lot to learn. truth they say is stranger than fiction. if only you understand that we are living in a world that is run by sick and twisted persons masquerading as political and religious leaders then you will understand why the world is in a terrible state of distress. think about it abacha and mko died mysteriously and also ghadaffi was murdered in cold bold what do you think will happen to the money this guys left in foreign banks? even after all this years we still cannot get back all the ones ferried away by abacha. if you think they will return all these stolen money to Nigeria then you my friend are living on a long thing. Tupac was right when he. said we are living in a white mans world. Think.
Business / Re: How Foreign Bankers Lure Nigerian Elite To Early Graves by markpenk: 12:07pm On Dec 01, 2015
Mere speculations... and an uneducated one at that. So, doctors who are sworn to keep and preserve life are now in cahoots with bankers to "kill" and maim people, eh? So, they are willing to risk losing their license and practice these heinous acts when there are strict regulatory bodies in place? And no law enforcement organization with their state of the art technology and investigative prowess has been able to detect the scheme? This piece must have been written and approved by dimwitted individuals. Anyone who believes this piece really needs a lesson in logic and common sense. No offense
Technology Market / Re: Clean Used Sony Vaio Laptop For Sale by markpenk: 9:52am On Nov 13, 2015
Is this still available? if yes, location, battery duration and issues if any.
Technology Market / Re: California(Los Angeles),pickup services..Online purchase..(Ebay/Amazon,walmart) by markpenk: 9:41am On Nov 13, 2015
Will you answer this please?
markpenk:
Thanks mikkyangel... that was pretty quick. Pictures please and models. When can I get them by if I pay for it tomorrow?
Technology Market / Re: California(Los Angeles),pickup services..Online purchase..(Ebay/Amazon,walmart) by markpenk: 5:53pm On Nov 11, 2015
Thanks mikkyangel... that was pretty quick. Pictures please and models. When can I get them by if I pay for it tomorrow?
mikkyangel:


yes......10.1"=30k
............11.6"=35k (3gb ram+ 250 hard drive)
Technology Market / Re: California(Los Angeles),pickup services..Online purchase..(Ebay/Amazon,walmart) by markpenk: 5:46pm On Nov 11, 2015
Mikkyangel, do you have any mini laptops available for sale? Please let me know.
Celebrities / Re: Photos Of Linda Ikeji's Mansion In Banana Island by markpenk: 5:42pm On Oct 16, 2015
Guys... why are we taking Tylenol for someone else's headaches? The reality is that Linda could actually afford that building. What you guys need to understand is that there are different payment schemes:

1. She might be paying a mortgage for the property -all you need is usually 10-20 percent down payment- with the rest to be paid in installments on a monthly, quarterly or annual basis. Linda is a smart woman and I'm assuming she would have opted for this.

2. She bought the house outright. I was speaking to someone who works with one of the major MNCs in VGC a while ago and our conversation got to digital media buys in naija. Dude told me his company was paying Linda #5 million a month, that the chick was making a killing big time. Now guys, remember this is just one firm.

Linda has quite a few big firms -we're talking at least 5-7 at every point in time- advertising on her blog. Now, let's do the calculations.

5million* an average of 5 firms monthly = #25 million.
#25 million * 12 = #300 million a year.

Remember the business has little or no overhead costs. She basically has maybe a few employees who curate the content for her or she does it all herself -the latter isn't very likely. Even if she pays the stipulated 30 percent corporate tax, it still comes down to a tidy #210 million in revenue after tax.

Now, multiply that by the last 2 years alone (remember she's been doing this for almost 10 years) and you'll see why the mortgage option is very possible. Also, we don't know what other brand endorsements or deals she has.

My point is this: everyone stop worrying about what she does and just go hustle for yourself. There's a new generation of multimillionaires and multibillionaires in this country, many of whom are younger than 45 and are doing legit businesses. You can join the league if you work your ass off, change your life, acquire a ton of relevant information and believe that there's abundance. The Nigerian economy is so fertile that any imported ideas and technologies, properly adapted to our society will make its progenitor very rich.


Cases in point: Iroking -Naija's own Netflix, Jumia and konga -naija's Amazon, Main One Cable and Swift -naija's Comcast and Sky.

8 Likes 1 Share

Celebrities / Re: The Ebube Nwagbo You Don't Know by markpenk: 10:12am On Oct 12, 2015
After going through an earlier thread on Nollywood actress Ebube Nwagbo

https://www.nairaland.com/2657714/hip-greatest-asset-ebube-nwagbo

I noticed that she never made any mention of her humble beginning as a chorister in warri.

What many didn't know is that she started off as a Gospel Artist even with a full album to go with it. Little wonder from the interview she was scared of lettting her parents in the know after featuring in her first movie!

But today fame and wealth has twisted her God given talent to something else!!

Imagine acclaiming her HIPs to be her greatest asset SMH!!! But each time I listen to her song and seeing what she has become I feel like crying.

As for me her greatest asset is still her VOICE!!!

Dont be an idiot mate... leave the girl be and go make a name for yourself. How's her hips or voice your business? You don't know her better than she knows herself. Go get a life or something... SMH for the dum-dums on NL these days.

As for the mods pushing crap like this to the front page, I tire for una o. Aren't there better things to push here than some nitwit's opinions on one of the hottest chicks in nollywood?

3 Likes

Car Talk / Re: Caption This Photo-the Biggest Bus In The World by markpenk: 12:52pm On Oct 09, 2015
Guys... look at the picture closely. The only legit part is the first bus. Every other cab was photoshopped onto the first cab. First Hint: sunshine on the window of the other cabs on an otherwise cloudy day... lol. cheesy grin cheesy grin tongue
Politics / Re: Governor Udom Emmanuel Builds House Just 4 Months In Govt - Sahara Reporters by markpenk: 3:44pm On Oct 01, 2015
Is this even true? Where are the facts? What evidence is there to prove that this building is indeed owned by the new governor? Anyone could have taken a picture of an ongoing construction project and posted it as some governor's mansion. These guys and their false/non-factual reportage. Oh and by the way, why does it look like SR correspondent is scared to approach the building?

3 Likes

Business / Re: Who Are The Top Copywriters In Nigeria? by markpenk: 10:18am On Sep 30, 2015
Really? So, no one on NL knows anything? I'm utterly shocked.
Travel / Re: Photos: Transport Ideas That Can Reduce Traffic/Accidents In Lagos. by markpenk: 10:16am On Sep 30, 2015
This is one thread that should be moved to the front page. It's a thousand times better than most of the junk there. Seun, lalasticlala, ishilove, do the needful please.
Business / Who Are The Top Copywriters In Nigeria? by markpenk: 7:21pm On Sep 28, 2015
Guys... I just spent the last 30 or so minutes trolling the internet for the top copywriters in this country. Now, I know there are some badass guys who create kickass copy in this country. Just can't seem to find them. Can anyone help a brother out please? if you know any of these guys, please reply the thread. Cheers.

P.S: I'm not talking about freelance article writers. I mean grab-them-by-the-throat-and-force-them-to-do-what-you-want copywriters.
Career / Re: What Is The Lowest Income A Person Living In Lagos Should Earn To Live Decently? by markpenk: 5:57pm On Sep 09, 2015
Your father is a wise man
MKO4ever:

And out of the N5m you will now use N2m for rent?
My father told me never to spend more than 10% of my income on rent

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