₦airaland Forum

edoman2016:
Hello nairalander,
I need advice on how to tell a friend to stop coming with his girlfriend to my apartment to have sex. This friend of mine, we went to the same university and know each other from there. He is based in Akwa Ibom and into palm oil business. When he comes to Lagos for supply to stores, he resides at his parents' house which is very close to where my apartment is.

However, when he wants to have sex with a girl in Lagos, he brings her to my apartment because he knows I am not yet married. Rather than sleeping with the girl in his parents house. I am tired of it and I don't like it but I don't know how to tell him so that it won't end our friendship. He is quite an intelligent and ambitious man.

What do you think I should do about it?

KingKingKing:
But the one beat all the Four...

.WizKid is the biggest artist in Africa, make davido go win MOBO international first before we begin talk if not argue with ur keyboard

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

HeWrites:
https://i1.wp.com/www.torimill.co/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/screenshot_20180812-111830446745356.jpg
A lady on Twitter took to her Twitter TL to advise other women to stop congratulating men for taking care of their own children.

See more of her tweets below;
"Please let’s stop congratulating men for taking care of THEIR children.

A man takes his child to the park “aww. This is so cute”.

We should give him a lollipop for what exactly?

Please let your “aww” be on the same energy level when a mother takes her child to the park.

Stop � giving � men � special passes.

In middle management all over the world, the number of women thins out steadily (even in the most developed countries). This is directly related to child bearing ages of women. Women take on an unfair burden of childcare & this impacts their careers.

So please let’s stop this narrative that a man is doing something exceptional when he spends time doing things that are expected of a parent."
https://i1.wp.com/www.torimill.co/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/screenshot_20180812-111724407857673.jpg

https://www.torimill.co/viral/9397/lets-stop-congratulating-men-for-taking-care-of-their-children-lady-argues.html

nigeriapenmedia:
By www.nigeriapen.com.ng

News Source: https://www.nigeriapen.com.ng/gospel-singer-sinach-reacts-to-his-song-being-played-in-clubs/

https://www.nigeriapen.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/2F3D180E-F364-41C0-A121-0780E0468ECB.jpeg



https://www.google.com.ng/amp/s/punchng.com/i-dont-mind-my-gospel-music-being-played-in-nightclubs-sinach/amp/

Generalkaycee:
A country with a Vision

johnnyvid:
$1k Seed: "Judgement is coming on you soon,” Rev. Kasali attacks Rev. Funke Adejumo. watch the video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0qEWc5NEhA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sotG8soo5I0

Lizzysamuel:
A suspected thief got more than he bargained for after he was caught stealing yesterday in Sapele area of Delta state. It was gathered that the young man out of frustration, decided to steal a tricycle popularly known as Keke Napep before he was nabbed on the spot.
He was beaten mercilessly and also tied to a pillar till day break despite repeated pleas.
He was later transferred to the police station for further investigation.

From Zenithnaija.com

More below:

https://zenithnaija.com/thief-beaten-and-tied-to-pillar-after-being-caught-trying-to-steal-a-tricycle-in-delta/

Luukasz:
Igbos always claim they have talent yet they haven't used it to develop the SE.

They always claim every other region is holding them back. Tell me is Imo, Abia, Akwa Ibom and the other SE states governed by the Hausa's, Yoruba's or the other tribes.

No they are not yoruba's nor hausa's but igbos governing themselves.

Fact is the igbos are greedy always want to dominate and most especially they have this feeling of inferiority.

Note: Mr Seun Osewa you apparently aint in control of your mods I've always noticed that the achievement of the Igbos are more posted here on Nairaland than that of the Yoruba's, Hausa or the Nigerian tribes.

Your Igbo mods have taken it upon demselves to beat down achievements of Hausa's, Yoruba or that of other tribes jus 2 uplift the igbo ones.

I can list tons of feats achieved by the Yoruba's, Hausa's and other tribes in Nigeria but it never gets to NL front page except for a few.

I wonder Why such is happening on a platform used by all tribes in the country.

ItzBIM:
Not impressed I speak 7 languages

Issafela:
A Kenyan man who claimed to be magician performs in front of many crowd by walking on air.

Video

Source:
http://nairaplus.com/2018/08/man-seen-walking-on-air-video/

Mcoutureankara:
BY DIAMONDZ BLOG


Popular blogger and influencer, Tosin Ajibade also known as Olorisupergal, in a recent chat with Saturday Beats said that she is a living testimony to the fact that some men are uncomfortable around successful women.

The author of ‘From Misfit to Hero,’ told Saturday Beats that even when she had to lower her standard for love, the relationship did not work out.

“When a young lady is successful, it sometimes frightens men. I have had some experiences. There are several times men have told me that they cannot date me because I am richer than them. In one of my experiences with a man, I had to lower my standard to the point that I always had to drive down from Victoria Island to Isolo and back just to be with him. At a point, I even left my car in his house for his use and was hopping in taxis just to show that I was committed to the relationship. At the end of the day, it did not change anything. “Currently, I am not in a relationship but if I have to be in one, I would like to be with a man that is very supportive; a person that can help me lift some burdens off my shoulder. I do not know it all but I am learning from my mistakes,” she said.


http://diamondzblog.com.ng/2018/08/12/11465/

Alvin007:
They all lied to you.

StylesX:
Who cares, get the money and you don't have to worry who likes you or not, theres more to life than girls and relationships, and being single won't kill you either.

midolian:
https://www.google.com.ng/amp/s/www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2018/08/12/atiku-i-will-do-one-term-only-if-elected-president-in-2019/amp/

https://dailypost.ng/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Atiku-1024x576.jpg

HungerBAD:
Posted By: Innocent DURU






https://www.nairaland.com/4658447/primate-ayodele-saraki-runs-pdp

CastedDude:
Here are graphic pictures of a suspected commercial sex worker identified as Peace Precious who was found dead by the roadside near a tomatoes market at the Upper Mission extension road in Benin, Edo state.
According to a resident in the area, they heard a voice around 4.am where the body was found and they only heard “please,  please take the bag”.

The witness said they could not come out because the area was dark. Bruises were found in the hand and blood was gushing out of the nostrils of the deceased. She was half naked and the lifeless body facing downward.

A staff of the hotel where the deceased and her friends use as contact point for their hustling said the deceased was a commercial sex worker.

 According to the staff, “The truth is that she is a huzzler. I came to the office this morning and I was told that she left on Monday and has since not returned.

“When they call her phone, it will ring and then switch off.  I said we should go to the police station to incident the matter. I had called Aduwawa police station and now asked that they should go and bring her picture, I was waiting for her picture when we heard that a dead body was found along Upper Mission extension.

“She used to huzzle at Old Road in Aduwawa so we ran down here and discovered that she was the one.”

A friend of the deceased who does the same hustling said she does not know where the deceased hailed from.

She said the late precious has an eight months old child.

Source; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2018/08/graphic-photos-of-prostitute-who-was-murdered-in-benin-edo-state.html

CastedBlog:
Facebook User Full-time Udummiri Nwakalu has announced his transfer of Soul to the Devil, The Onitsha based Young man said he has dedicated his Soul to the Devil, and for that he vowed and promised to bring new Members to the Devil's Kingdom as the end time is near.

See below!


From Ebiwali---
http://www.ebiwalisgossip.com/2018/08/nigerian-man-dedicates-his-soul-to.html




https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1776802402434622&id=100003146383229

BlackPantherxXx:
IPOBian. Apart from hairy chests and chest-beating, they usually have low IQs in general

Ikpewe:
BY DEVIL HE MEANS KANU THE COWARD. HMM FLATHEADED PIGS FROM THE RED MUD REGION WILL NEVER STOP TO AMAZE US WITH THEIR FISH BRAINS.

Riunite1:
please I am compelled to speak up about what is happening in Abia state.
the INEC registration center for Aba south and Aba north just to mention a few has been moved to Obingwa LGA and people who were able to reach there had there fingers snapped with a camera instead
of tumb printing
please something is happening in Abia state


The example

johnmix12:
Khensani Maseko, a 23-year-old South African student who killed herself two months after she was raped has been laid to rest in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Khensani Maseko, a student at the Rhodes University in Grahamstown battled with depression after she was raped, allegedly by a boyfriend who is also a Rhodes student in May 2018.

On August 3 2018, she took her own life at her Johannesburg home. Not before posting a cryptic message on Instagram that read: "No one deserves to be raped," along with a picture showing what is believed to be her date of birth and that day's date.

Khensani Maseko's Instagram account has since been removed from the social media platform.

Khensani Maseko's funeral held in Nasrec, Johannesburg on Thursday. See photos below.

The man accused of the rape has been suspended, Rhodes university said in the statement posted on its website, adding that it was working with South Africa's police and the National Prosecuting Authority to launch an inquest into Maseko's death.

Police have not released the suspect's name.

https://lailasnews.com/photos-from-khensani-masekos-funeral-sa-student-who-killed-herself-after-rape/

eezeribe:
When a fair complexioned man ends up marrying her, and start to have children...
He would be wondering why the kids are black and dumb at the same time.

Strikethem:
Guy, explain how igbo develop Lagos or shut up. Difference between onitsa and Lagos my foot. You can as well say Abuja is no man's land na. Calabar was Nigeria capital before Lagos, but we know the owners. Explain how igbos contribute to the development of Lagos. No Yoruba in enugu hehehehe, did you see why I refer to you as dummy. Well, I am waiting for you to explain how igbos contributed to Lagos o. I will admit if you tell how igbos contribute to Lagos. I have been asking this question for long but none of you has given answer to it. Maybe you can help them.

Freshkidavid:
Many times, at the beginning of most marriages, the husband and his wife decide the number of kids they want but later, the woman decides not to have and produce more kids again.

A Twitter user who is a female shared and voiced out her opinion on this issue.

What is your own take on this?

https://www.kingstondome.com/2018/08/lady-shares-opinion-women-not-children-husbands-wish.html

Strikethem:
Be wailing here day and night. The owner of Lagos n other southwestern states are doing their things. All over southwest, we are egbe omo oodua. No, they do not own morden day Lagos, mama farthern night Lagos they own . Your knashing of teeth and epistle here is just effort in futile. Contribution of igbo like building the roads in Lagos, like constructing the bridges in Lagos, oh, by building the national theatre, by making the electricity in Lagos stable, oh, sorry, Mr chukwudi was the one that use his personal money to construct third mainland bridge. Or what other way do you contribute. You come to Lagos to hustle, Lagos made everything available for anyone to do business and this one is saying igbo contribution, what did igbo contributed may be you can list it for us here. If awori are not the owner of modern day Lagos, d[b]efinitely, igbos are not the owner of modern day enugu, onitsa, cos there are many hausas[/b], yorubas n other doing business there.

Draei:
Seems this one is mentally unstable. A guy with all the good qualities you mentioned isn't good enough for you to date?

But you rather prefer wasting your time with another niggur that ain't even half as caring as he is?

Total bullshiit, some girls need their brains to be examined one after the other. It's pointless saying more to the Op.

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Nnaabros:
You don't love him with all his nice qualities and the way he treats you but you love all those other guys who treat you far less than he does. ?

What do you women really want?

Is love all about romantic feelings and emotions, rather than qualities and personality?

Most people never appreciate what they have until they lose it.

I still blame the guy for not laying his cards clearly on the table from the beginning, instead of acting BROTHER and FATHER to a girl for four years before telling her what he really wants.