₦airaland Forum

Shallypop:
Most of the these people are trolls who crave for front page. I'm sure they will laughing behind their screens how people fight over their senseless threads.

The thing is that even if theyre fake, they can still open up useful discussions that will help others who are experiencing the same problem

Chapter1vs6:
those moniker could even be by a random funny guy. Not necessarily a woman.
Don't get too worked up

But how do all these screenshots youre posting prove that the threads are fake?

GindoX:
More like an ibo name..

Oh... yeah im Igbo and you?

tivta:
Now you are being clear, but I honestly doubt if she has any disorders, the guy just wants a trophy wife to show off to his family. As for me I will hid her from the world to avoid unnecessary stress.
Reminds me of a story I read here, it goes that a guy met a woman who asked him if he would want her to be beautiful during the day or at night. I am sure that op would have chosen day so as to show off to his friends and family. Then at night he would be stuck with a ugly being. I am serious pissed with the op, but it's his life he should just free the poor girl.

Yeah that was my point. If she doesnt have a disorder, fine. If she has, let them help themselves

I dont think its to do with trophy wife.. he feels that she should make more of an effort with his family even if she is reserved. So I am saying that if he wants her to do that then he will have to understand/help her with practical techniques

She too should understand that some social life is important to him, whether she has a condition or not.

Saying he should just leave her to do as she feels like is an extreme, at the same time forcing her to go out all the time when its not in her nature is not necessary. both of them can meet in the middle if the relationship is important to them

The problem Im seeing here is people trying to justify wallowing in their own issues instead of offering a practical way to address what the OP complained about

If somebody is ill or in trouble why not help them to get better? instead of leaving them to get worse because they're comfortable that way

If he complained that his girlfriend is obese and keeps eating too much will they tell him to leave her alone because they cant stop eating either?

Hipsofagoddess:
I asked a simple question which deserves a simple answer.

FYI, I don't think you've improved anything because you sound like that reserved girl who keeps to herself because she thinks everyone is against her.

You can ask me without being nasty about it, and you dont deserve anything.

I thought maybe you didnt mean it rudely/offensively, which I why I asked you to clarify your statement

Fortunately for me it doesnt particularly matter whether you think I have improved or not since your online judgements on my character dont mean one iota.

Alexandro15:
And Protestants are literally doing the same thing they accused the Catholics of. Infact, they are soiling the name of Christianity. Not a week goes by in nairaland without you seeing a headline about crimes pastors committed.
Who is fooling who?

I know this, I am replying to your statement.. it sounded like you were trying to absolve the church of mistakes, of which it has plenty

lagosminded:
What is rude in asking you how old you were when you changed? You are the one that is rude and defensive. Simmer down, it seems you’re trying to overcompensate because your stance on this topic is not the popular one.

She can ask how old I was when I changed without being nasty about it. Why dont you check your tone when speaking to people instead of typing the first thing that comes into your head

I am not bothered on whether its popular, we are all discussing an issue here and must have differences of opinion. If its popularity that is bothering you then go and look for it elsewhere instead of quoting me out of context to salve your ego

You are the one making it personal and being spiteful over nothing, you can go ahead and simmer down yourself.

Hipsofagoddess:
How old were you when you finally decided to improve? Weren't you older than 24?

You don't need to be rude, did I quote you?

You can decide to take hold of your problems at any age, stop promoting victim mentality

If she's old enough to find a partner and maintain a relationship then she's old enough to take control of her personal issues.

If you don't know there are people with such severe social issues that they can't even interact with the opposite sex or someone they like

Don't bother quoting me again since you don't know how to talk

tivta:
I will say it for the last time, there is nothing wrong with her, just let her be, after all the guy said he met her on the road, if she was what you say she is she would have never agreed to give him her number.

That's exactly what I said if you read my earlier posts

But if they insist that it's social anxiety then let her get help and let OP help her

Can you people try to read what I actually said instead of quoting me and talking off point??

You are just writing what you feel like without knowing my own position

Hipsofagoddess:
How old are you now! Aren't you older than 24? You have to understand age plays an important role when it comes to improving certain aspects of your life.

I don't understand you...what has age got to do with this

djoe21:
So still care to know more on Catholicism?

Of course... tell me all about it..

Chapter1vs6:
To the people that will take this thread seriously

l want you to know this post was made by the same person that opened the Zhuhilat account

And how do you know that...

Hmm this is a tough one. Practically, you probably shouldn't tell her but how do you know the woman won't tell her first?

Well is the woman herself married? Why is she living alone

Technically the only thing that would make the whole thing go away would be telling your wife the truth, but it may have an effect on your relationship in the future.

It would serve to assuage your own guilt but may not be fair to your wife to offload your sins onto her

I think you would call her your "cousin-by-marriage"

djoe21:
I think it would still be happening though. The world is an imperfect place.

Yeah was just joking

djoe21:
How was Judas rooted out almost immediately? Jesus knew Judas and his evil intentions and deeds yet allowed him even till the end.You think Jesus did not know Judas was stealing from the common treasury all along?

Jesus gave Judas enough time to repent from his evil ways yet he did not. At the end it cost him his life. Even after betraying Jesus, I believe if he had asked for mercy and forgiveness, God would have forgiven him.

Lol and then none of this would have happened

djoe21:
Haha. Your last statement got me

On a more serious note though, the clean up measures have always been in place and it is a continuous process. But no matter what, as long as we still remain in this imperfect world, there will always be bad eggs. Remember Judas Iscariot? Comfortably in the ministry of Jesus till the very end.

They've always been in place but I don't really think they were properly implemented until recently...Judas Iscariot was rooted out almost immediately... that's just my point. I don't understand why the Catholic Church has been reticent to rectify these huge issues

Lionpikin:
Nah, I didn't say I got that from your post, you said he seems to be harbouring some resentment about something, that's what I thought too....

Ok I understand you now

tivta:
I disagree, you don't have to be an extrovert to make it, most introverted individuals are billionaires, scientists don't have time to socialize so do programmers like Bill gates, mark Zuckerberg etc. As long as she has a source of income she doesn't need to please society. Women like her are more than diamonds cause there doesn't have time for gossip.

You can't be disagreeing with me because what you're saying doesn't relate to my position whatsoever. I have never said you needed to be anything to "make it". I never said she should please society. And you don't know what personality type those people are since you don't know them

Being an introvert is not a psychiatric disorder..we are talking about social anxiety

The fact is that if you suffer from a psychiatric disorder like anxiety or depression then you need to find ways of dealing with it. Whether by reading up on techniques, going for therapy or even taking some medication.

Those people need help and support, not just to be left to stew in their juices because men think shyness is a good quality in a woman. This is not ordinary shyness

destinyy23:
I get...but some people try and isn't working. I used to be that bad till I did some serious work on myself and the results have been quite impressive. I attend academic conferences now and present papers, I've improved that well. However, not everyone can help him/herself breakout of introversion, some need help!!

That's exactly what I've been saying all through the thread if you go back and read my posts. As you worked on it, you saw results, just as with any other personal problem

The babe can help herself and work on it, then the OP should also encourage her. Then thirdly he can help her and his family understand each other

Buy saying she should just stay like that is totally wrong... an adult woman especially in a crazy, survival of the fittest country like this can't just stay like that..look at all the guys here who even want to take advantage of it

destinyy23:
You can do all these, great! but don't castigate someone else's inability to cope with them. There are other things she might be capable of that you wouldn't dare. Don't come acting like she has to be you, she can't be you and God helping her, she'd overcome this challenge.

I'm not castigating her at all, did you read my post? Nobody has to be like me, it was just an example of how I overcome reservedness with people I don't necessarily like/know...that's what the topic was about

If you are incapable of doing something, can't you at least try to improve on it? Must you stay the same way forever??

Inability to do something doesn't mean people should coddle you and leave you to stagnate because they don't want to offend you or make you feel bad

People are saying OP leave her alone, leave her alone without offering practical solutions on how he can help her

If our parents and teachers left us alone, where would we be

Chapter1vs6:
I think people should be atleast above 29 or 30 before they offer relationship advice that deals with marriage or divorce
I am starting to go through some people urging for divorce and I am truly amazed

I don't think age is the main thing, but maturity and life experience. It is partly contingent on age, but not necessarily. A 30 year old can still give bad advice and a 23 year old can still be sage

Boss13:
Do you know what she tells the husband too? So why express opinion over half baked story. She even called fighting with the husband, an argument.

The lady is screaming she cannot take it any longer and needs attention from another man. If only she can open her eyes and ears to know what goes on in other homes, she would rush back to fix her small issues. For me, her marriage no get problem.

Well if you fight with somebody, then it's an argument...or what would you call it...

Apart from that you have a point but we can only read what she wrote and comment. I don't recommend looking outside but I think its just desperation that made her say that..I don't think anybody can do such after just 2 years

Alexandro15:
There was an era when Catholicity and Christianity was used interchangeably. To be a Christian was to be Catholic and verse versa.
Our minds have not be shut, but your minds. Look at the state of religion in Nigeria and tell me who has messed things up, Catholics or Protestants?

But Catholics messed things up in the first place, that's how Protestants came about

KingAfo:
Abi o. A woman person will not tell you their own negative side of the story.

Fixed

slimjosh231:
From your write up, you’ve got that Slay Queen attitude inside of you. You lack Morals and basic skills to keep a home. Was the relationship this toxic during courtship? What changed about you? Your Mum is somehow to blame, not to sound insulting duo. She didn’t teach you those basic things from your youthful age that’s why she’s providing a hedge for you right now. Stop running back to your Mum and learn to make your marriage work, stop seeking advice from your slay queen friends that are not yet married. You should listen more to your Father I’ll suggest. I wish I could tell you more truth you need to hear.

Her father who didn't even want her to go back

I sometimes wonder if men and women see different words when reading a paragraph.

slimjosh231:
What brought the question of Tribe into this now? Can’t you be objective with your facts? Must you bring tribal sentiment into everything before making your useless opinion known?

Tribe can have an effect to an extent because it affects how people go about their lives

ekitimanalways:
Pleas do not hesitate to mention the very tribes that are naturally endowed with anger issues... I strongly believe that tribe(s) has or have got nothing to do with marital problems.

It can be the case that tribe has an effect, if they have certain customs or ways of doing things that cause problems. Or if husband and wife have an inter-tribal marriage.

However I doubt OP will explain the situation to us in that amount of detail

Alexaonfleek:
yeah.i admit it's quite difficult for an outsider to understand the teachings and doctrines of Catholic church.the Catholic church has order and rites to follow which you won't understand as an outsider.the Catholic church is not as random and disorganized as some other churches.if you really want to understand the Catholic church,you'll have to go for catechism classes to understand at least most of the doctrines.youll have to have an open heart for you to understand,because let's be honest if you've vowed not to understand something you will never understand it.if you come for cathechism classes you'll understand why most things are being done in a specific way in the Catholic church,and you will appreciate the beauty of the Catholic church.

Okay, thanks

Lionpikin:
That's what I thought too, probably the guy isn't ready for marriage but the op used pregnancy to force him ...they are both sounding like kids

You thought what too?

How did you get that she tied him down with pregnancy from my post? I'm curious to know

djoe21:
In every sphere you find the good, the bad and the ugly. But you don't throw away the baby with the bath water.

Fair enough but why are you people so reluctant to clean that bathwater? It's killing the baby...

djoe21:
The way you make some claims, one would think you have all the facts and evidence. Relax.

You all keep saying I'm making claims yet when I ask you, you can't give me any kind of reasonable answer