₦airaland Forum

slimjosh43:
I work 9 to 8 everyday for 6 days all dressed up.
My body needs to be free. I'm sure you would enjoy every bit of it

Lol your body needs to be free inside my food...yuck

Topmaike007:
hmmmmn my dad listen to his song and Gozie okeke,nevertheless I like your choice of music.

Yeah my dad likes akanchawa but he prefers Voice of the cross and harcourt whyte

slimjosh43:
I sleep naked. Infact once I'm back from work na to strip nd do everything I need to do (shower, cook, eat and sleep) naked

cooking nak#d? I will never eat your food...

Topmaike007:
you did not Paul nwokocha

He's okay too but not one of my favourites

Topmaike007:
ọmọ Igbo

lol yes oh

Mich C philip...voice of an angel! And writes creative songs with well-organised videos

i love Sammy Okposo's welu welu but his later songs didnt have the same kind of swag...he should go back to his original sound instead of all the americana stuff

Israel Okpako-Uyeh/ Emma Ofano and all the other Urhobo/Isoko musicians

James Arum

Peter Otulu

Victoria Adesanya

I want to find an Efik/Ibibio gospel musician but the ones I hear do not really move me

Acidosis:
That definition is sexist. Daddy issue is also used to describe the father complex with males.

I see... I had only ever heard it used for females but I guess the same could be said for males. Thats another thing for Op to consider

Acidosis:
Another case of disrespect. But this one na daddy issues stuff. How well do you know his parents and the relationship between father and mother?

Just curious..how is it a daddy issue? i understand "daddy issues" to mean a woman who has a problem choosing the right partner because of unresolved issues with her own father

Get him to a marriage counselor..stat...

Your mother sent you some foodstuffs and it made him angry ...maybe he's seeing it as a competition between his family and yours...

I think maybe you come from a wealthier background than him? That would be the reason why he keeps saying "i dont need you..you are of no importance to me" etc. Inferiority complex

What was his reason for not buying the baby food...? So what would the baby eat...

Is there any kind of detail you can add? Its not making sense. None of this stuff can lead to a full-blown argument... he seems to be harbouring some resentment about something and taking these opportunities to get back at you over insignificant things

Why didnt your father agree that you should go back? Did he have a reason?

Modified: I think you should read this:

Reptyle:
So sorry to hear what you are facing.

Speaking from experience, I would say hang in there...it will all work out eventually.

I have come to realise that for most couples, the first 3 years is very challenging...especially for the men. It is that period of transition where the man is still trying to adjust to the fact that he is no longer single and he has to stop living selfishly.

It is also the period where the woman is all caught up in the emotional roller coaster of having a man she can call her own and doing her best to assert herself as the first lady...the only woman in his life.

I got married quite young and if anyone had told me that my marriage would survive the first three years, I would have doubted it. During that period, my house was a constant battlefield.

In spite of all of the upheavals, one thing was clear to both of us...we loved each other so we determined never to give up on the marriage.

Thankfully we made it past those turbulent days. It has been 12 years and I am grateful for how far we have come. My wife and I look back on those days now and we make jokes about them.

A few nuggets for you:

1. Don't stop communicating. If you have to quarrel, do so. But don't stop talking.

2. Always try to resolve conflicts swiftly. The longer it stays, the more it festers. My wife and I used to keep malice to the point that we wouldn't even remember what started the fight

3. Never move out of the house. Except if there is a threat of physical abuse, please stay and work things out. Running away from conflict doesn't resolve an issue.

4. Never insist on your "right". I know this runs contrary to everything the world preaches these days. But it works, trust me. When you got married, you basically handed the controls of your life to your husband and you took control of his. It doesn't necessarily take 2 heads to build a home. It only takes one good head. It is a painful and sacrificial process and everyone is going to call you foolish for seemingly bending over backwards to accommodate your husband's shortcomings. But I don't think it is too much of a sacrifice to make for a lifetime of peace in your home.

5. As much as possible, avoid outward interference in your home. The issues in your home aren't peculiar. But you and your husband are going to need to figure out the peculiar solutions to the issues. What works for one home might not work for another. If you must get advise, please look for someone older...not your parents. Most parents react emotionally and sentimentally in situations like this and end up misdirecting their children. Perhaps you can consider your religious leader (pastor, imam, etc) or an uncle or aunt who can look at the issue objectively and have the courage to counsel you right.

6. Determine and resolve within yourself that divorce isn't an option. I came to realise that the moment I struck divorce off my list of possible options, I became more pragmatic and determined to work things out with my wife. When you create an escape door, the tendency is that you will use it in the midst of a conflict.

7. Keep your marriage fresh. Create opportunities for fun. Help your husband understand that he isn't "trapped" just because he married you. Take him out; go clubbing with him now and then; dress hot and have crazy sex now and then. Invite "the boys" over once in a while and play hostess. Don't push them away, pull them in.

8. Become friends with your in-laws....especially your mother-in-law. Win over her affections with gifts and attention. Her goodwill towards you will be indispensable. If your husband sends you out of the house and you decide to leave, don't go to your parent's house...go to his parent's house. Sounds crazy, but this was one of the ways my wife won my family's support against me.

These are some of the general principles that worked (and still work) for me. Above all, be patient. It always works out in the end. Good luck!

Richdad50:


The lifestyle of politicans rarely leave rooms for fidelity or faithfulness. They cheat at nights after meetings and kiss their wives only before the cameras.

Money contrary to popular beliefs never makes a woman totally happy. I have seen how a poor man in love kisses his wife and her responses. It is pure. What keeps a woman happy is the trust that her man has got her heart and the hope that things will get better with them.

Richdad

Politicians
Athletes
Entertainers

Are three groups of people whom you shouldnt bother expecting fidelity from

They can try but they will never be as romantic as Wike and Suzette I just love their partnership...they have such natural chemistry

smartolala:
That is one of the problems the society is battling now,the offsprings from such relationship don't love anyone wholeheartedly and the cycle continues.so it's very bad to involve children when love goes sour

I agree with you...so bad..

fairfora:
Well, what more can I say? You have a right to believe or NOT to believe, it'syour opinion and choice dear but what I know is, truth will prevail in no time about stories surrounding her background. Watch out ! . Imagine what you said...that it may be the case she was rusticated from one school and attended another...kiki didn't attend more than one uni in Nigeria before she left for the uk. For your info, the nation didn't publish that news today and it's one of the well respected newspapers in Nigeria today for their thorough investigation and reportage. If truly the news was libellous , we would have since known.

I said it may be the case, to offer an alternative viewpoint...its possible to transfer to another school and people have done so before

There's no point in vociferating on how respected the newspaper is...respected newspapers are edited by human beings who can be mistaken...they can still publish retractions when they are wrong

I hope, for everybodys sake that she didnt really think she would be able to lie about something like this, thats all

CodeTemplar:
?? Stop smoking mosquito coil.

Lol you just reminded me of that stupid coil... didnt even work, it just made me sneeze

LocalNietzsche:
These adaptations can be defined by factors that are much older. People that live in tropical areas live in paradise (climate speaking). Prove includes our length of night and day is kind of a balance. Unlike in temperate zones where length of winter is associated with high depression. There is something about light and warmth that affects humans mood.
It is a disadvantage only when you consider depression something positive. I do consider it as positive because depression is a manifestion of anxiety, anxiety is associated with self-consciousness. Self-consciousness is associated with attention. Attention is focus which increases the intensity of awareness.

Yes, the thought crossed my mind that the dissatisfaction that those western nations feel may be what spurs them on to work even harder to make life better for themselves

Being satisfied is actually kind of bad for progress, isnt it? You dont make an effort to improve if you are content

We live in paradise but we also live close to the equator and there are some schools of thought that say that our intemperate climate reduces agricultural yield and reduces our productivity, which has a knock-on effect on our overall quality of life

We also still have too much of a problem with malaria and its complications

I agree that living in a place with more sunlight would have some protective effects against depression...some countries have seasons where they experience darkness by 4PM until maybe 8AM the following morning and it messes a lot of people up psychologically

What is she doing there

The problem is not her flexing in London but using everybodys money to do it

armyofone:
I don cook finish, go take food oga say i must do it ? Eh? I gave you permission to do it yourself-still na wahala? Oh boy!!

If I finish cooking I will dish the food out and serve it myself, but if somebody wants more and I am busy with something else or just not there...I wouldnt mind them doing it

For me its strange to finish cooking and then just leave the food sitting in the pot...I think the serving of the food is part of the cooking, like the last part. And you need to finish and soak/wash the utensils and continue with your day

The attitude with the serving the food + the fact that the man gossips about her with outsiders is what is making me to advise against shouting back at him in public, because this situation is not normal. I dont want him to snap and beat her/chase her away..

armyofone:
If na me, i go jejely take temp break go rent a place till you let me know where you stand!

That may be a good idea... and take the kids with you...let him be married to his friend... rubbish

armyofone:
I think your husband is stressed financially and indirectly showing you.
Do you work ?

Yeah, she said she hides inside the room when she comes back from work,. I do agree that it may be a financial thing though because of the small accommodation...how can you bring a guest when you dont even have space...the situation is not really normal...the man is overdoing it

To avoid being refused a job offer, when they are perfectly suitable for the job but strike, evil lecturers and disorganised NYSC are what made them to "overage" in the first place!

To avoid being called "evening newspaper" by stupid and unscrupulous beings who have no idea how the female anatomy works!

To avoid being overlooked for political positions since it seems we only respect elderly dotards in this country!

And then they will try to retire you at the correct so-called age whilst still owing you years of salary! I have an aunt who keeps swearing herself back into school uniform for this very reason. Who knows whether, after retiring, they will say youre too old to collect your pension

Plus, some people genuinely have no idea how old they are because their parents never kept a record, so theyre just guessing!

In fact, time-wasting is the biggest contributing factor to the country's bad economy, so some of us are just trying to get our money back.

As in "Time is money" !

If they want the correct time, let them refund our lost money...

fairfora:
. I got that dear. Please click the below link and read more. Am not the publisher of the popular newspaper...the nation I dont like joining issues with people when online news dey fly like wildfire. Rather, I take my time, read and investigate. Thats what I expect our youths to do but na lie, they jump into conclusion fast. They could even abuse your great grand pa in the process whereas, they have no knowledge of what they're defending or talking about .

https://thenationonlineng.net/seven-things-you-should-know-about-kiki-mordi/

This one was just a coincidence...meeting the doctor while they were doing the ladies things jeeje ( the gossip things, you know) and I got all the facts about kiki. I now asked myself, she kii she wipe obinrin yii npa iro ni bayii? And what would she even gain from lying sef, oya...Google, wetin dey na...and I could confirm that from the nation about kiki's alma mater.

Well I have seen the link... it may be the case that she was rusticated from one and was sexually harassed in another one, and decided to fight this one

Plus newspapers are not always correct; at times they have to publish apologies and corrections or risk being sued for a lot of money

And lastly, i really just cant believe somebody would be so stupid as to lie about something like this... like I just dont believe that

Blackmiserable:
O di nma, nsogbu adighi. Ebe akwa

Hahahaha

armyofone:
Lazy sperm? You mean the ones that can't swim and tanda for one place or the crawling ones ?
Just imagining catapulting sperm!

Hahahaha some people's sperm cannot swim very well na

Lol it must be triggered by excessive suffer, to stop you from committing suicide

Unfortunately it has made us too playful... we dont care about serious issues again

In fact there is a serious stereotype that people believe worldwide that black people are somehow "less sensitive to pain"..it causes a lot of problems when we go for medical treatment because doctors/nurses dont take us seriously and more of us end up dying as a result

It has its roots in slavery because people believed us to be sub-human or "animal-like" and it still affects how people perceive us today

Look up the story of what happened to Serena Williams when she went to give birth to her daughter... i dont really appreciate this kind of research even if its true

DonroxyII:
Though the culture abroad doesn't give parent the opportunity to be tougher on their kid like the Nigerian way , and it really affect upbringing .... Nonetheless, despite the thoroughness of some Nigerian parents , their wards even turned out more badass ....

In the long run, parenthood is not a small job ... Boys/Girls can easily be swayed by peers especially when they reach the decision making stage , we can only try as parent by enshrining in them the best ideology and hope they carry the legacy wherever they find themselves!

There are different ways to bring up a child...one is not necessarily superior to the other especially if you just use the same techniques not minding he temperament of your child or the type of environment you find yourself in. I personally dont agree with all aspects of so-called "old school" Nigerian parenting, especially when it's just used as an excuse to take frustrations out on a child

You are right on that...hopefully the guy will try again when he is released from prison

You'd have to wait until the friend has gone out and then sit down for a serious talk with him. If you start it where he's around it will just heat the situation up too much because he would feel like he has to keep acting tough in front of the friend...then a lot of regrettable things may happen which is not necessary.

For me personally i dont think its worth blowing everything up now in the name of "standing up for yourself" because your husband has a particular reason why he is behaving like this, and you need to find out what it is. Gossiping about you with his friend? Gossiping about you with his family? Eh-ehn.. something is very wrong here.

Do other members of his family act like this?

You mentioned you are living in small accommodation... does he feel bad about it or have you ever said anything to make him feel bad?

Is it that you told the friend to help himself to your fridge when he's hungry? I dont think you could really have told somebody to dish himself rice from a pot...

You said he doesnt act like this when you people are alone..so thats the best time to broach this subject. Thats even the best time to really start screaming and shouting since he's not getting it

Blackmiserable:
Seriously, it's fun chatting with you.

If no be say I no dey Whatsapp or any social media I for get your details.

O di mwute....

Blackmiserable:
Em, there's ooo aunty, there is!!!

I am going to eat too many things because I never chop for one week. I be glutton oo!! I would start with that sweet thing called Achica then ofensala and cow meat. Then I would progress further. Don't be wicked hanty. Don't be stingy. Is 100 thousand Naira too much to ask for dinner?

its too much oh. better buy N100 kpomo and start from there

wirinet:
Once I take it, I will be unable to sleep for 3 days. I will have serious chest congestion, mild asthma attack, mostly at night.
It happens every time I take it.

Yeah it seems to be a side effect of taking a strong malarial since you dont get any protection from the other ones. Have you spoken to a doctor about this? The other type of anti-malarial drug is Malarone, but I dont know if it will be effective for you

Have you tried other preventative measures such as using a good net and wearing light, long-sleeved clothes after 6PM? And fleeting your house?

Blackmiserable:
I just googled "Thank you" in Tiv and bingo.

Can I have 100k over there? I mean 100 thousand naira. I'm hungry and I need to eat dinner.

Lol. when i first saw what you wrote, i thought maybe it was a typo, so i gave you time to modify it. when you didnt, i decided to reply in my own tongue

Why does your dinner cost 100k?? I dont think theres any type of ewedu thats that costly

Blackmiserable:
You head dey there. You guessed aright.

Sorry, response came late because my device went off.

Not at all...

so how do you know how to speak Tiv?