₦airaland Forum

Hangulsaram:
You be answered it, Both wanted and unwanted.
Someone maybe tempted to commit adultery and the person on swing the ring will set a boundary if good person.
I have found myself on such situation were a met with a very beautiful young lady and started flirting and she played along but on sighting the ring I withdrew.

So apart from that, nothing?

Thats terrible.

Hangulsaram:
Alright, Thanks for the explanation.
You really have patience

You are welcome. But you havent answered my own question.

What is the reason for wearing it? Apart from driving away unwanted attention

khia:
Sour milk.

It wasnt really sour to me but It was a strong smell. Like UHT milk.

But I once worked with a lady who smelled like sour milk literally all the time, it was incredible. She was middle-aged so I thought maybe it was a hormonal issue.

I really love this song (and the way the choir performed it), and would love to know what it means.

Could anybody write down the lyrics and translate them? I guess it's in Bini language, but I'm not really sure.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W99nIDV0oNg

WackyJ1:
You are not the two-timing woman yet why is it that the only possible reason you keep repeating that may be responsible for her cheating is a response to him doing something wrong ?
No other possible reason like the one I mentioned about her being greedy, wanting to explore, or wanting someone to give her money and gifts like the new guy was doing. Reasons that are on her and have nothing to do with the guy?

Yet, all you keep saying is that she cheated as a response to something the guy did.
and that he should make the effort to find out what he did wrong .

That is what I have a problem with.
You're subliminally passing potential responsibility to the guy for her cheating.
There are a lot of ways she could have reacted rather than cheating and the fact that she didn't choose either one of those ways makes her unworthy of being talked to in the name of closure.

All the closure he needs is that she is a Lying manipulative cheating B.tch.
That's all.



You don't have to know someone's reasons before you hold them accountable for their actions.
All they have to do is cross your boundaries after you have warned them about what would happen if they do. And then you hold them accountable by actually doing what you said you were going to do.


"Hey baby, Why did you cheat on me?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"Was I not good enough for you"

How does asking her why she cheated make sense to you?

Have you been cheated on before?

Did you ask why?

Was the exercise productive?




This I agree with.

He can also explain to her (his elder sister) exactly what he said in this thread and that is all the understanding she needs.

You are putting words into my mouth, let's just agree to disagree since the discussion is not going anywhere

CeterisXVII:
So when he was knacking her, he didn't dislike her then? Chai!

Apparently not, very irresponsible guy

OgaMosco:
You made the right decision, but I hope you stand your ground, cos if your sister loves her, my dear you're in for a long ride, cos your elder sister would come begging on her behalf and you wouldn't want disrespect your elder sister.
This relationship is far from being over unless you stand you ground.

Thank you

CanadaOrBust:
Well u can’t. Of course there are exceptions but generally the highest achievers usually have the highest sex drive ab initio

I can't? That means you "can't" argue your premise either

WackyJ1:
If it doesn't "justify" it then why are you mentioning it?
Why then are you suggesting he talks to her and finds out what it is?

I mentioned it as part of a wider point about closure, which you decided to seize on. I said that he should find out what drove her to do what she did, a possible reason being his doing something wrong. That's just one thing she might say.

Am I the two-timing woman Do I know why she may or may not have done what she did? That's the point of talking to her, to hold her accountable for her actions. How do you hold somebody accountable unless you get their points?

I'm suggesting he talks to her to get a clear narrative of what really happened and the reason why it happened. That's not too much to ask is it?

WackyJ1:
Let me ask you.

What wrong direction are you saying that we are advising the OP in?

My own advice is to simply never see the girl again.

What closure do you want him to get in this situation?

Lol! Your own advice is simply never see the girl again! And now he has seen her again. Now what

Now, she has shown up at OPs sisters house shedding useless tears to try to buy the elder sisters affections and make it look like he is oppressing her, just look at. This stuff is going to get even messier if he doesn't wrap it up, pronto

If they speak and break up finally she won't have the Chance to make all these funny funny movements. What on earth made her bypass his house and show up at his sisters house crying without speaking, if she's not mad

Don't you think that's very embarrassing? And his sister will be trying to squeeze details out of him, which he doesn't have because you people told him simply never to see the girl again. Thereby making him look odd to his sister and anybody who asks.

Why not go and talk to her, if only to warn her never to show her shameless face in his sisters house again?

WackyJ1:
He handled the situation maturedly already

You are talking in the past tense when the situation is far from over. What just happened at his sisters house is evidence of that.

Saaog:
. You are mad who told you igbos are sensible igbos are the laziest, foolish and stupid tribe I have ever seen Donjazzy is not igbo he is from Delta State.

Shutup! He is half isoko and half Igbo, his mum is from abia state you bloody illiterate.

Who is lazier than you who can't even go And read something before typing? Hope you're not from delta because you've just disgraced them all here.

CoCoLav:
So you shouldn't network because you are married? Not every man wants to toast you or has sinister intentions. Walking around with the mentality that every man wants to toast you means you won't go far in life. Besides, not every man is heterosexual. Some people may actually want your number because they want to connect. When asked for my number, I give it out depending on where we meet..at a conference, school etc. If the calls become inappropriate, you have the option of blocking the number and moving on. Its childish for someone to ask for your number and your first response as a mature and professional woman is "sorry I'm married". Did he ask you to marry him?

I agree with this

lefulefu:
yea they speak mixture of french or pidgin french(creole) .but the region i reside they speak english but the way dem dey speak their english ehn u have to streatch ur ears open before u comprehend what they saying.they speak so fast and add some slangs in their english

Lol, please learn it and be yarning it here so we can learn small

safetyman1:
Don't say what you don't know. I studied Industrial Chemistry in Nigeria and have never regretted it.

I know 3 people who read that course and it lead them nowhere. Not that it's a bad course but too risky

The truth is that we do not value pure science courses in Nigeria. Let her do something else

shakuur:
This is the kind of talk that make people choose some kind courses in the university and later start regretting it later in life. Oga for your information there is something like career prospects when choosing a course of study in the university.

Don't mind him. It's not a must to comment.

Just writing for writings sake smh

CanadaOrBust:
U have a point, but many high achievers exhibit high sex drive long before they achieve anything

You could say the same for poor achievers. In fact some people argue that they have more time to indulge in it

lefulefu:
i never get a dominican chick yet oo ,i am still finding it difficult to understand their accent so i no wan complicate my life yet getting one .how i wan take understand d accent when i dey toast her

Lol but they speak some mixture of French right? How do you cope? Or everybodys English is still okay?

WackyJ1:
And who said that there must have been something he did wrong that made her cheat?

What if she just wanted to double date?
What if she was greedy and wanted someone to spend more money on her. Which is most likely the case because she was caught while the boyfriend was delivering a gift to her.

You see what you're doing is what most manipulative girls do.

They don't want to take responsibility for their actions and they try to make it appear like it was something the guy did that made them react in that manner.

But it is not.

If the solution to every flaw is not cheating then why should he give a Bleep about her solution?

Let me spell this out for you clearly.

He was cheated on

Read that again.

Now read that a second time.

In case you still don't understand after reading it two times, I will explain.

It means that he was the one that was wronged .

It means that he was the one that was betrayed

He is the one that was hurt

She was looking out for her own interests when she cheated.

He gains nothing by signifying her with meeting him.

That's some cold logic for you.

Your advice is the problem Most men encounter when seeking advice from women in this matter.

Why are you contradicting yourself?
If he is done with her why will he go back to meet her?

When you want a divorce and you hate their guts.

You move out and send a lawyer. Let the lawyers sort things out.

If they refuse, y'all sort it out in Court.

Beside this is not a divorce situation.

Go to ask the girl

"what did I do wrong that made you cheat on me"

Is dumb and your advice favors the girl because it allows her to remove some guilt from her conscience by blaming the guy.

If these are actual physical items that she forgot in his place, perhaps they were living together before she did what she did (Which further implies that kind of dangerous character that she is), then he should simply call her to come collect her things.

I don't think you really read what I wrote.

I didn't say that he must have done something wrong, or that it was a justification for cheating. I said that it is possible that he has done something wrong, which she responded to by cheating. In fact I said that twice already, so I don't understand why you keep repeating it.

You're doing what most overly-emotional guys do, which is totally throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just because you don't like what the girl did and you want to punish her, you're advising the OP in the wrong direction.

Gaining closure over a situation is more important than inflicting pain on the other person. Read it through, 10 times!

Its actually your own advice that doesn't make any sense. If he's done with her then how does it harm him to go and clear up the mess, for his own sake She wasn't the only person in the relationship, stop acting as if they're playing a game and trying to score cheap points against each other.

Hahaha! "Y'all move out and send a lawyer"! In the united states of Akwanga right? When have divorce negotiations in Nigeria ever been simple as that? Even if you don't see each other, you still have to explain the whole thing to your family so that they will grab. Or am I talking to oyibo?

WackyJ1:
Go to ask the girl
"what did I do wrong that made you cheat on me"

Who is telling him to go and ask her this You're just being sentimental and that's the whole problem. Your dumb advice is going to land people in hot water because you're thinking of how best to spite the girl and not how to handle the situation maturely.

This is somebody who was planning to go to marriage class next month for crying out loud! Why are you injecting so many unnecessary Machiavellian machinations into a simple meeting He has already achieved victory over her here so no need for all that.

WackyJ1:
If these are actual physical items that she forgot in his place, perhaps they were living together before she did what she did (Which further implies that kind of dangerous character that she is), then he should simply call her to come collect her things.

It was just a metaphor.

lefulefu:
side chicks na stress abeg .na full time job for men wey dey do am.u can ask them

Lol please greet my Dominican wife for me o

Respect55:
Thrash what exactly other than what I saw with my two eyes?
Sorry I won't

It's up to you sir, just a piece of advice

Tellemall:
That's life for you. Don't take other people more seriously than you take your self, your wife and your children. Because when it gets dark, they will run far away and they will not help.

I promise you, if something happens to the OP, those people won't drop a cent and they will move on without a care in the world. They will only feel bad that their money bag is gone. This is why I never take people who are after monetary gains serious.

I hope you didn't run from the uncle's family?

Exactly...they will just start avoiding you and gossiping about you somewhere.

Yeah! The most they will do is come for a condolence visit, drop some useless platitudes and go. Or just avoid altogether and show up when everywhere is full so that they can start pretending.

No, we were some of the main people helping, that's why I know how bad it was. Sibling and cousin doesn't mean anything to some people oh, except freebies. It's a pity

Hangulsaram:
I want you to justify you answer ma. If you can’t please don’t bother replying me biko.

My reason was that I just don't like it but you said it wasn't a reason. What do you want again

My mother never wore one, my relatives don't except a few of my cousins. It just doesn't look like a big deal to me.

And she said it was unhygienic to have a ring on 24/7 when you use your hands to do all sorts of things.

Now I have some psychological biases against it which have already been inculcated in my mind for years.

Tellemall:
The bold part has said it all.

The people who you help with your utmost sacrifice will always have things like that to say, and then begin to hate you. If you die helping them, at worst they will shed a tear then move on.

You should have seen what unfolded when one of my uncles died. It was stranger than fiction.

This man who helped everybody with school fees, food, work, everything! To the point that he even neglected his own projects. The people who stayed in his house rent-free for years, how much did they contribute for the burial N0.00

Everybody was just dodging his house like he was a leper so that they wouldn't have to do anything. Just a few people plus the children had to pull together and prevent the whole thing from being a total disgrace

In short OP should just forget that thing. Feeling guilty my cousin sister blah blah. Nobody cares.

EasternPrince:
Op... J111333 .... don't listen to crap talk like that of this e-witch. It will land you in trouble that will last forever.


Stop overlooking that first son about to get in Unilag. Call him and sit his ass down and talk. Promise him support till NYSC and then he takes over his family as a man.

Tell him honestly that you can't be both breadwinner for his family and yours but you will fight to train him and then he trains his siblings and takes care of his family. In the meantime, as you do your best for the family and leave the rest you will always have an inside ally in that boy. If you just walk away they will all be your enemy and you may never be able to fix thing.

Your sister is right, don't give the boy all the money. Give it to your sister. I don't think she will miss use it, women don't play with first son's training. But the father may misuse it.

As time goes on, whoever they ask for money tell them you've given what you have to their first's education. Your wealth will not last forever, it must finish one day. Let that day start now.

Your sister and her husband need a wake up call or your will regret it if ever you have problems and need help. They will not be able to help you but will hate you for not helping them anyway. People are just that way..... greedy as hell.

Lol look at this EasternWimp...I'm sure you're one of those greedy leeches who feels everybody owes them for a living

Keep sucking on your uncles wealth so that he can help you repeat all your failed classes from high school in Texas hahaha

Eyanbook:
just try your best and God would reward you.

Na dem

If the country was normal I would say chemistry and then mathematics/physics. In fact chemistry is one of the best courses to study for a first degree in general

But bearing in mind the economic condition and general chaos, agric is the most sure-fire way not to die of starvation after all is said and done.

The truth is that if you study any course that is not vocational or professional in nature like nursing, agric, architecture, etc, you will have to take serious measures to dodge unemployment

Apart from education, because the teaching profession has been totally debased in this country. They will still employ you as a teacher with any course so what was the point And they don't even want to pay them well

In fact nursing was the best, are you sure she can't write it again?

Better start prioritising your own investments and stop financing somebody else's stupidity. Call them and tell them you're not paying anything except school fees. Set up a direct debit to the school and make a good contact there

If the tables turn and you can no longer keep up those kids will still grow up to curse that their stupid uncle ...hope you know that?

Since she takes the church more seriously than her life let the church sink more money into the fantastical business.

By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about wise spending. Or she didn't see that side or what

Bunch of selfish pseudo-religious leeches. She took care of you as a child and now you must take care of her as an adult right? Somebody with a husband for that matter.

10 million! 10 million.

Have you gotten to the root of why the miscarriages keep happening??

I personally think you should exhaust all avenues before starting the adoption stuff. It doesn't suit everybody.

Have you considered ivf/surrogacy yet?

Sorry for the loss and having to see your husband cry but you are in danger of making a wrong decision due to emotion.

You are only 29, you have a better chance than most. I recommend going for an extensive fertility check in a reputable hospital to determine what is causing you to lose the pregnancies.

The solution might even be that you have to stay on bedrest for a while

truthsayer009:
At least you saw the ring & you know it's not fashion. Just because a Man is saying something stupid to get into a lady's pant doesn't mean he his right.

I don't by the idea of drawing much attention to yourself when you know you can save yourself by wearing a ring at least.

Can we just call a spade a spade for once? Biko.

Exactly, he's not right, he's wrong..that's just the point. Did the band stop him from talking rubbish? No.

I understand the concept of driving guys away with the ring. Some single girls wear them to scare guys away

But it doesn't mean you will automatically succumb to advances. Wedding ring is just the first line of defence...we have so many strategies to help us get rid of guys lol

cooooooks:
I've heard that stereotype but I've never met any white person with a wet dog smell. At least, those I've been close enough to smell.

As we're talking about it I can vividly recall the smell. When she mentioned it at the gym I knew what she was talking about

It's just the truth though not all of them smell like that

cooooooks:
Have you met "white people"??

Of course.

Plus I said "some" of them. The term "white people" is vast.

But I have encountered both the wet dog smell and the milk smell