₦airaland Forum

healthserve:
He'll find another outlet. Same way she didn't give him the benefit of the chance before running numerous side relations is the same way and reason she's undeserving of closure.

And I mean it, real ladies don't cheat. I need classy decent honest ethical lady don't cheat.. If a lady cheats, she's a hoe. It's that simpke and hoes don't deserve closure, arguments, explanations from my perspective with due respect

I'm not talking about what she deserves, I've already said that.

If she caught him with another woman, you'd still advise her to dump him without any discussion right?

You don't just end a relationship like that except if it was not a serious one and the two of you just drifted away from each other.

Or you're so traumatized that you literally can't bear to ever set eyes on the person again

pryme:
Such energy,
it's like you are one that won't quit a relationship without a fight.

Lol, if I suspected I had been dumped for a wrong reason I would be sure to make an effort to clear my name.

If she were serious, that's what she would do.

healthserve:
I respectfully disagree. She doesn't deserve the closure.


You and I here knows just the little aspects. She controls the vertical and horizontal and knows how much, regular. And so it has gone. Its not a one-time thing. A real lady doesn't cheat, I mean never. Decent ladies will end up one before starting another. Cheating akins to fraud, thiefry all these characteristics would rearits self up of they are married.


I'm yet to meet a decent classyady that doubles. Honestly. One can't be hear and there. Let's leave the story, if she opens up on her sex life during the so-called relationship you'll be shocked.


All the lies, the explanations that don't addup. I'm going there. I won't be around tomorrow.


They should just stay away ffom one another and process it their own individual ways

She may not deserve it, but he does. It's better for his psyche in the long-run if he really cements the break-up for good. He needs a chance to argue it out with her.

What you're saying about a real lady isn't really relevant here, a real lady doesn't do so many things yet guys still marry unrealistic ladies every Saturday.

We are talking about gathering evidence. We just need to hear what she is going to say so that he can finally catch her in her lies.

When his sister asks him what happened and he can't give a concrete explanation, don't you think his family will be looking at him one kind?

He needs to hear her own side of the story.

Respect55:
She hasn't called. Not that I'm even expecting he r call or would pick up anyway. He conscience and my silence is at work. Dealing with her

Well that's the problem that we are debating.

If she calls, you should still answer it and give her a chance to explain herself. It will be worse if you just leave it like that without any closure.

If she has nothing reasonable to say then that's when the silent treatment comes in. You could even record the call for reference purposes because like somebody said, I'm sure your elder sis and all your family would like to know what actually happened.

Gaggi:
How is this even an issue? Some people are suffering neglect and domestic abuse, this one is talking of ac and sex. If the man never liked sex, we can understand, some men are just put off for a while with the whole pregnancy thing.

He is doting and caring and a good provider. Madam should go and pleasure herself jor. I sometimes wonder what this world is coming to. What happens when a partner has an accident and can no longer function sexually? Is that the end of the marriage? Our generation is crazy. Men and women should learn to see beyond the mundane, marriage is deep and should be treated as such.

Hmm Oga, it's a huge issue o. You can't deprive your spouse of sex because of flimsy and spurious reasons like these. Jeez!

You can't trivialise the importance of a healthy sex life in marriage by comparing it with domestic violence. This is actually also a form of abuse, I hope you know that?

He's doting and caring ba? So much that he wants to starve his wife for almost 2 years, tell us another story! If he has an issue he should open up to her and stop talking rubbish.

Sex is not mundane, it's a fundamental part of marriage and people shouldn't be shamed for wanting a healthy sex life. Marriage is deep, yes, and sexual harmony is part of the deep bond between the two people involved.

So you people screaming that people (especially women) should stay virgins until marriage, what do you call this one? Staying a virgin until marriage and after marriage abi? Is she a robot Terrible

Mindfulness:
Sex, for many people, is a very important part of marriage. Religious folks even marry to have sex "legally". There is nothing wrong with wanting to be intimate with your spouse. It is very normal.

Yes! My priest always preaches that if you and your intended spouse don't have feelings of lust and sexual desire for each other leading up to the wedding, then something is very wrong in your relationship and you shouldn't be marrying because being sexually attracted to your partner is a major part of it.

People always quote St. Paul but forget Songs of Solomon and how much sex there was in it. It's really important in your marital bond.

I'm even getting annoyed sef, she needs to talk some sense into that guy, seriously!

Mindfulness:
I would like to know it too.

You have put it rather nicely. I was thinking that to add to the issue that he doesn't make love to his wife, he is also, allow me to use your words, "ignorant and incorrigible man". Her cross is heavy.

Exactly. If she were the one making stupid excuses to get out of sex this thread would be 10 pages long with comments telling him to send the useless woman out of his house and get another.

Because it's the man depriving the woman they have started blowing grammar, mtchew

Grasscutter:
I feel you on these two points and all you wrote, but particularly this two. As this has been my own predicament. I had to readjust when my siblings became too demanding, behaving like I am their new saviour, the fall out was unbelievable.

No matter how often I assisted financially it never seemed enough, I got one a job in 3 months he was fired from it for misconduct, one collected money for a professional exam and never sat for it, it was plenty money too. I put off certain things for wife/kids to make some things happen for one sibling in particular, the kind of ingratitude I saw broke my spirit.

I have been burnt now I am wiser.

And thank you for being sensitive enough to have learned your lesson.

Some men will keep neglecting their wives and children in the name of trying to elevate their own family until they die, no matter how much pepper they show them.

At the end they have nothing to show for all their misplaced kindness but insults from their siblings and resentment from their wives/kids who have been watching the whole thing.

Funkybabee:
hmmm really big girl indeed. thank God she has learnt a great lesson from her way.

I wish her peace because that's what she really need presently

Me too. I hope it doesn't get too far and damage her reputation permanently

healthserve:
Strong ethics and sense of morals

Fantastic.

Thanks

Mr100Dollars:
When i read that status part, I came to a conclusion that the girl was looking for a way to leave the relationship to her new guy, so either she or the new guy scripted everything, cause she didn't feel any form of remorse.

Lol. I don't think it's even as complicated as all that, she was just sad that her maga figured her out and escaped.

darkelf:
The reason she didn't even bother to chat him up on WhatsApp was most likely because there was nothing to explain. Wetin Lie lie wan explain again?

Exactly. So why shouldn't he block her if she's going to be writing nonsense

lilwetdick:
ethiopians have different ethnic groups with different face cutting and body structure, fulani is just a ethinic group in Nigeria,Mali, Guinea and senegal, so it is wrong to say that Ethiopians and fulani are related, it is like saying Nigerians and wolof people are related.

fulani language does not fall under afro-asiatic languages

fulani language fall under Niger–Congo languages, Atlantic–Congo languages, Atlantic languages, Senegambian languages while ethiopians languages fall under Afro asiatic branch

Afro asiatic languages are Hausa,Oromo, Amharic, Somali, Afar, Shilha, Tigrinya, Kabyle, Hebrew, Arabic, Central Atlas Tamazight, Riffian, Gurage languages and Aramaic.

Niger-congo languages are Yoruba, Igbo, Fula(fulani) and Shona

Get Educated.

Now this is an intelligent comment. This is how I'd like to be countered instead of vain posturing and childish hissy fits.

But sir/ma, Wolof is just another name for Fulani. So technically they are related to Nigerians since there are Fulanis in both senegambia and Nigeria

Nigerians is even a strange term because artificial borders mean nothing when it comes to ethnicity, especially when it comes to nomadic tribes like the Fulani who were accustomed wandering in and out of what are now state lines.

And there are Fulanis in many more countries than you mentioned there.

That reminds me of the question of migration patterns. There are Fulani settlers as far as the Ethiopian border. So what if some of the ethnic groups you mentioned in Ethiopia still share some genetic similarities with Fulanis but got separated due to splitting of different groups some years ago?

Because of their nomadic nature it is common for Fulanis to mix with their host communities and produce a loose hybrid, like the Hausa-Fulani pairing we have in Nigeria

Dasilva10:
He ought not to have commented in the first place, he claimed to be a lawyer and he couldn't show some sort of brave gestures towards making the client his. He failed to share his contact with her or even make her feel like a messiah stands in her defence and hereafter tell her his service price.

With the way he commented, the lady can't be convinced to borrow funds to pay his service charge. Later, they'd say law isn't a lucrative field.

Unfortunately that's one reason people don't have much sympathy for lawyers, because of their smart mouth. It's a double-edged sword that helps them win cases and also messes them up at times lol. Comment full of perambulation

ednited:
I have heard other Nigerians saying the same thing. Although I don't know to what degree we lookalike. But Ethiopians have no idea about the fulani people.

I didn't say that, by the way but I'm glad you understood what I meant.

Funkybabee:
No sister, that's not her case..

for a woman to go out for outing or clubbing, is either she go with a friend or her boyfriend snd since her boyfriend is not there atleast when u woke up, u will tell those around with you that u feel rape, as in somebody have sex with u. that's when the case would have open up because atleast one friend can sight the strange man during that period unless her friends and boyfriend with the guy collide to bring her down..

feeling something at that time then reports

You're just saying what you would do if you were in that situation. You can't tell what others would do.

I agree that her story doesn't really add up but at the same time it's not fair to conclude that she must be lying because she didn't report, because some people would be afraid of sounding stupid.

From the way she's sounding, her "friends" or "clique" aren't the type she can confide in. Or where are they?

Na big girl things na. She didn't want to dull herself in front of them or make them laugh her that she be mumu or olodo for complaining about the free sex or a baby who can't handle herself after drinking alcohol.

She just brushed herself off and removed it from her mind so that she could meet up with the flexing lifestyle. Peer pressure is real.

Funkybabee:
sister, let call a spade a spade. not like its look like a spade.. why don't u confronts the guy immediately and threaten him, why don't u inform anyone.. don't it sound d√mb in ur eyes

Funkybabee:
yes nah, they will rape, u won't inform anyone even if It's ur mum or bestie that's so close to u.. haba

That's what I thought but on the other hand, most rape victims don't report out of embarrassment.

They would rather keep it to themselves out of Shame and fear of judgement.

Its plausible that she would just try to put it behind her without saying anything because declaring that you were raped is not easy for everybody.

That's actually what a lot of women do especially when it happened in circumstances where you could easily be blamed like this one where 50% of the comments are just insulting her

Olanre05:
Babe me I understand you very well oooo. But I need you to know that silence kills. The guy will be emotionally unstable. They should see talk about it and everyone goes there different ways. And the guy should report the case to his own FAM and the ladies too so that nobody sees him as irresponsible and somebody who doesn't know what he wants.

Yes, they can arrange a time to meet and thrash the issue out later down the line so that they will both get their stories straight and get some closure.

What I am disagreeing with here is the notion that the OP should indulge her childish antics and bow down to her cheap manipulations. She is the one who should to do the running here and not him.

Why is she writing rubbish on whatsapp instead of going to meet her husband Is he a monster that she can't go to his house or has she suddenly been struck dumb that she can't call him?

If she wants to get a message across to him she should behave like an adult and explain what happened, and not resort to cheap emotional blackmail and subliminal messages on whatsapp.

You guys are acting like she made so much effort and went through so many channels to communicate with him but he's not listening, which is not the case

BabangidaHamza:
What baffles me is that some one would stupidly condemn you for marrying more than one wife but that same hypo has more than 12 mistress/prostitute that satisfy his sexual urge

They are both bad but mistress is not wife.

Marrying another woman is embarrassing your wife, shekina

She hasn't told you whether their sex life was good prior to the pregnancy so it's difficult to comment.

By the way this is not "old-fashioned man" but "ignorant and incorrigible man". Starving her of sex for almost 2 years in the name of protecting pregnancy is just stupid. He could have asked for the correct information during antenatal class.

Daviddson:
Do you know if she even set it up herself to see the guy's reaction and probably cement their love? LOL. Just kidding.
I advise him to keep an open mind, because it could turn out differently.

Yes, he should be willing to listen to her and not conclude too hastily. Anything could happen.

I just disagree with the whatsapp stuff...she should explain herself in person if she's serious.

Up until the time he blocked her, she couldn't even open a chat to explain. All she knew how to do was write rubbish status update smh

Daviddson:
Hello man, I'd advise you to give her benefit of doubt and unblock her and be ready to hear her out. I'm interested in this story because you said it was a no-sex relationship.

Why can't she call him, or go to his house and see him?

This matter has passed whatsapp.

A cheater is threatening suicide...so what should the person who has been cheated do

sisisioge:
The ladies makeup artist is on a mean streak!

Hahaha highlighting highlighter

They would have done traditional make-up paint if the thing was getting too much for them

How can OP mentioning his occupation in his introductory statement automatically mean it must be a scam or advertising opportunity?

He has to tell us what he does now, it's relevant to the issue. Or do you people want him to lie or what

Nigerians can be overwise sometimes.

alphaNomega:
You did not have to block her after viewing her WhatsApp status, that's a díck move. Your choice though.

Of course, he had to block her. She's not even sorry for her behaviour and on top of it she's trying to guilt-trip him.

Why should he have to read that kind of rubbish out of some misplaced sense of duty to the cheating liar?

She's the one who's making dick moves.

I don't know why people keep mentioning her so-called "Mary-Amaka" hairstyle as if it means anything, anybody can do that style just to rest their scalp between styles or maybe she didn't wear her wig that day. Or she didn't have pocket money to make hair

How can so much analysis be attached to a hairstyle and earrings when we are not close enough to know what she looks like on a regular basis

Ugwoji101:
I am a lawyer, I would have handled this matter pro bono for you. But any lawyer wey do pro bono matter for this Buhari regime Na hunger go kill am. You need money to pursue this case before it escalates,you must nip this in the bud before this turns ugly. I would have given you a legal advice on how to go about this matter, but sadly even the legal advice is not free of charge.

So what do you call this comment?

Pro nono

lefulefu:
one of my dominican friend here here invited me over for lunch.he entertained me with their type of dominican jollof rice with sliced boiled eggs,fish then what looks like spinach then a bottle of cold tasty water melon juice .i enjoyed my lunch i wont lie u .he also offered me zobo but i told him i was ok with what i have eaten .over here they refer to zobo as sorrel .

Lol yes, I've seen that Caribbean sorrel before but not tasted it. Is there much difference with our one here??

You really enjoyed hope you'll be cooking that stuff for us this Christmas?

lefulefu:
like i said b4 its probabily a dysfunctional family.happy sunday

Lol happy Sunday and Monday. Hope you enjoyed Dominican delicacies today for your Sunday lunch?

Baldwretch:
Okay, I understand your pov.

Thanks