₦airaland Forum

buzzcypha:
Oga sir, so after all the great talk from our fellow naira landers on the matter, your heart is still blindfolded, you are still saying the guy is at fault

If he knew he had that issue and neglected to tell her then he is partly to blame for the current situation.

Anybody who has an issue should be forthcoming about it and let their partner make an informed decision about whether or not they wish to continue with the relationship

Have you read "No longer at ease" by Chinua Achebe? The guy wanted to marry his friend and the lady began crying and told him she was an osu.

That book was written in the year of our independence when this osu stuff was even worse than it is now so the guy has no excuse for deceiving OPs sister until she was getting old and other suitors were thin on the ground.

1Sharon:
Seeps through the pores? Interesting. I thought it's a lack of aeration

Not familiar with deodorant

I know that some muslims dont use deodorant cos it contains alcohol

Yeah, when you eat certain stuff in large quantities it comes out in your sweat. Especially garlic.

Yeah you know in some rural areas people aren't familiar with some toiletries or don't really bother to use them. And it doesn't bother them when theyre there but when they get to another place it would seem like they don't bathe.

Until somebody explains to you that you need to apply anti-perspirant (not just scented perfumes) after bathing, you won't know

Lonelypacifist6:
Curry garlic and tumeric smell is associated with Indians I learnt using dried tumeric Wood as air freshener from them.

Yes, they have had their own traditional scents for a long time.

But when substances are processed by your body and start to emanate from your skin it can be unpleasant for people around you

cookiejar99:
Does that make them right?

Exactly, Indian caste system is so terrible and people all over the world have been complaining about it since.

Xmen149:
I tell ya,.

My cousin came back with his friend for a festivity,after a while I had to have a long talk with the guy as we talked well and my cauz wouldnt do that..."dude this ain't yankee,ditch the thick cloths and bath regularly bro"..we still rolled cos Na real g

Lol you did well, I'm sure he appreciates it

1Sharon:
Indians with that curry smell no be small. Their spices are heavily scented and it's made worse by the fact they don't aerate the house. I can tell

Yes it's the spices that seep out through their pores. Plus some poor hygiene if the person is from a particular background (not every culture is familiar with deodorant)

Aeration depends, if you visit them at home some of them will make sure to close the kitchen completely when cooking and open the windows. Other ones all the windows are shut and the house reeks

Though I notice that Pakistanis don't seem to have this problem.

Xmen149:
whites hardly bath mostly during their harsh environmental conditions which includes Snow.
An average White can go 2days without bath

That curry smell is totally insane. And a lot of the time they don't notice it until somebody explains it to them

Boyooosa:
Ok, tell me about it...
If it's an heritage, there is nothing to discuss here then. Kindly explain the concept of OSU to us...

It's a type of punishment to discourage people from committing crimes. Your children inherit your crimes.

At least if you know that your family will suffer the consequences of your actions hundreds of years from now, you might consider that before doing the wrong thing.

We don't know what his ancestor may have done but it was sufficient to warrant being dedicated to the shrine of the gods.

Alternatively some of them were just unlucky prisoners of war who were captured by a nearby clan or village. They were slaves

An outcast/slave (osu/ohu) can't marry or lead a meeting for a freeborn (diala) otherwise you have violated the land (ala) and you will bring curses upon yourself and your family

Eberex:
Shit happened to me too. I had a girl friend who I dated for two years. I proposed to her and she said yes, only to call back after two weeks that she is no longer interested. I asked why, but she couldn't tell me the reasons.

After many months of getting over the incident and moving on, we met and she opened up. Her folks on learning that I proposed to her sat her down and told her they were OSU and that she cannot go ahead with the relationship.

Even she herself didn't know she was one. Can you imagine?

I was just thinking, maybe the guy himself didn't even know. Some people grew up far away from their state and don't really go home often.

It's possible

Tellemall:
Why should anyone court with the intent of marriage for 3 years? Is that still a relationship or a waste of time and a show of indecision and disinterest?

It depends...you can't dictate when you're going to meet your spouse. Some people are in a position to marry after a year and some people have to wait a decade, it just depends.

If she had met him age 30 and is now 33 its different from meeting him age 18 and getting to 21. Only some people are ready to marry at 21

But one thing is for certain, there's no excuse for the lady not knowing the facts after 7 years of relationship.

If you don't know he's an osu until your father tells you then what do you know

Tellemall:
People don't seem to understand it. They're just using sentiment to judge the matter.

The guy hid this issue from her. I'm surprised they dated for 7 entire years and she knew next to nothing about it. This is why courting shouldn't take forever. In a year know what you need to know. Why drag it on for ages? Years in a fruitless pursuit, and now she's just doing it because she's wasted years and isn't getting younger.

Exactly. He was dishonest about it. Who knows, maybe if their dad hadn't done that investigation he may not even have told her.

Yes, she should have been a bit wiser and done her research. She would have had more options if she had discovered this 3 or 4 years ago

Courtship shouldn't last too long but we still don't know their circumstances

emperorblog21:
osu after 7years of courtship

naso dem dey spoil peoples life.

y cant dey do background check when dey are start newly.

It's the man who was supposed to let her know after like 3 years. Then she could decide if she still wants.

She's now thinking of her age, if she had known initially she would have dumped him which is what the guy was afraid of.

She also should have thought of it sha.

Boyooosa:
Forget that Osu thing slash tradition, let's talk blessing or even your parent's, it won't replace the presence of his own family in their marriage, tell him to go and resolve the issues he has with his family or you disown the couple, this decision has nothing to do with OSU or whatever, it has to do with Ethic!

It's not him, it's his ancestor.

Tellemall:
He mentioned that the stigma will extend to him. So because of her love choices, he and the rest of the family should be branded as outcasts, too?

People need to think of the extent of their choices. It's like choosing to marry a person with a contagious incurable disease, will that be a perfect option for a person who wants lifelong partnership? If not, find someone else. Same with this tradition. Why bring stigma to your whole family, why not adjust?

Exactly. That's the other side of it. But she couldn't have known it would come to this and it's been 7 years already

It's actually the guy that was supposed to tell her he was an osu once he realised it was getting serious but he would be worried that it would scare her away.

He is at fault for withholding important information

EasternPrince:
Got you!!!





You've gotten carried away with e-pride cos I said please here and there and backed down with you more than once. Introductions are in order I believe.

I'm the vile king of insults with a thousand monikers but I'm always nice first, particularly to women but never to men.. You don't know who I am but Khiaa does. Chenzen will warn you and the king troll of NL the one and only Yorubawarrior and other warriors like him in politics section etc would have warned you once they recognized me.

I do this for fun babe and you are on!!!

Okay. But you still haven't answered my questions.

Why is it okay for you to insult me but you write all this when I give you the same measure??

ogbuefi677:
Shame on you.
Your dad who is supposed to be old school is more enlightened than you.

His dad has already married and had children so his concerns are different.

This is his own future family on the line, that's why he's worried. He has a right to be worried because that stuff can affect you in the future, especially as a man

Odingo1:
Ohu is a slave, a person that is bought and he or she is under slavery or defeated abducted people during olden days war.

So are both osu and ohu stigmatised in the same way?

Pettyprincess:
My bf is white so when you say what is not true i need to correct you!! Anyone could have body odour irrespective of their race!! So please stop the generalization!!

White people have a particular smell at times

Different races have smells associated with them because of the foods they eat

buJu234:
OSU only comes in only wen a poor igbo man`s daughter wants to marry in lagos/East

but when a super rich igbo man`s daughter wants to marry in New-york/London (even Lagos) OSU just fly through the window!!!

i believe the fight against corruption should begin with our cultural transformation.

Nah....even if he's rich, the Osu stuff must still come up somewhere.

Many of the high ranking officials in those days were Osu because they were the first to embrace Christianity/white man rule that freed them from their bad condition. So many of them are very well-educated, wealthy and politically connected even more than non-osu (diala)

Though their osu can be covered up for a while somebody will still mention it somehow. They have to marry far away from their village where nobody cares

EasternPrince:
Please, please, carry your trouble and go and huge the nearest transformer.

EasternPrince:
Whats she even doing in fulani clothes if your mind is not going out control again?

You ran your mouth to me first. All of us are free to disagree with you here, Im not your slave that you would be insulting me and telling me my mind is out of control and you expect me not to fight back.

Why do you insult another person and then complain that theyre talking to you anyhow? Are you the only person allowed to say anything in this place?

Dont go about insulting people if you know you dont want them returned to you.

Odingo1:
For those asking what is Osu cast system

Two things can make someone an Osu in Igbo land in the olden days.

1. If someone commit a crime that is regarded as an abomination and it is required that the person should be stoned to death and the person did not present himself to be killed but run inside the Oracle shrine to seek protection, the people that want to kill him will not enter the shrine to bring him out for killing because an Oracle shrine is a sacred place,but after that the person is own by that oracle and become an Osu.

2. If a person is a migrant that committed abomination in another place and run and seek refuse in another place, the community that granted him asylum and protection will regard him as Osu.

Please so whats now the difference between Osu and Ohu ? I never hear them talk about that one

wunmi590:
She has a friend who sells food stuffs, but instead of driving herself there, she call me to help her go and pick it up, even sometimes take it to her house or her club.

I have really suffered honestly.

But wetin local man go do, when my father doesn't have a company.

Lol serious suffer o, dont worry you will laugh about it in years to come...mehn!!

wunmi590:
You can imagine a graduate being sent to buy Eba, moimoi and all kind of food from mama put

Sending you to buy eba? But why

SteveOfu:
what's wrong in asking how much your earn?

On the first date? Thats quite rude and intrusive.

A more polite question which will help answer that one is "What do you do" or "where do you work"

Offpoint:
I'll be on my own jejely thinking about my life, you guys would just mention my name in your conversation.

I need to sue someone

Lol come and sue me na, I will even counter-sue and win the case

rex444:
I just wanted to correct that notion, actually majority of em are not family oriented....from a long line of experiences

Do you mean that she wasnt interested in your family only but was attached to her own or she just wanted the two of you to isolate yourselves?

lefulefu:
he has his pic on his profile .hw person go just yarn this type of tory with im main moniker and worse of all putting his real pic .if the story is true then it sounds like a dysfunctional family.how would u be having sexual urge for ur brother"s wife or fiancee

Lol. I can understand being attracted to her if she is a pretty lady but the part that confuses me is that she is staying with him and sleeping with him and the wife's brother hasnt even come to quarrel him for snatching his babe

He needed advice and not bashing...truly the Osu stuff is still an issue in some places though it doesnt seem to rhyme with present civilisation...

Me sef I dont even know what to say... it is hard when somebody else's decision affects your future.

Its an impossible situation sha...you cant compel your sis to break up with him. Im sure she must have taken you people into consideration when making her decision... 7 years is not a joke.

And you guys didnt really have the right to try to talk her out of it when you couldnt offer her any alternative...its relationships like hers that will pave the way for the future and eradicate this outdated practice.

sinceraconcept:
You're very intelligent and this comment is 100% true that every parent should screen shoot, just the summary of how a child should be raised. I like that part, "study the kind of individual your child is and adjust your style."

Thank you sir, and you too. I think we can all learn some valuable things about parenting from this thread though the event that triggered it was unfortunate.

Cheers

CeterisXVII:
Please try and do some research. The fact that you do not know anyone arrested for pornography, does not mean such arrests have not been made.

interesting, thanks

Biingoo:
But I heard the rate of prostitution is very high in Thailand.... Is Thailand not Asia

Yeah they have a big sex tourism trade but not all of them are into it.