₦airaland Forum

@Dis Guy and angel101

Good one! let these govt officials make their family members use facilities in Nigeria only!

Yes! New and reformed EFCC officials in every state instead of people like that ye ye Ribadu monopolizing the institution!

@hannamor
Thanks for the clarification and nice to meet you too!

I love Nigeria like I love my kids. But I practice "tough" love with my loved ones. I will not condone rubbish because of love. I like to look at things objectively. I like to deal the realities in Nigeria not cover them up because I want to look good to the outside world. That is self-deceit and I do not indulge in such crap! Nigeria sucks period! We make it suck!

@Topic

Just to show that I am capable of self-control, I will

This topic is definitely a no-go area! Goodluck!

@Uyai

Then you are one lucky babe!  I have to generalize because that is my experience.  I do not doubt your experience either.  You probably are dealing with the new generation "romantic naija guys"!  I ain't mad at you sugar!   Please try and catch one for  marriage oh!  Make sure you are romantic too!-----------try  "phock" one oyinbo man sha!---------for total satisfaction

@beauti

Oh no! You get am wrong!  I did not say he cannot cheat.  I say we have radar to detect when it has occurred! You cannot stop it from happening, but you definitely know when it has occured.  The next step is to go to "plan B" which is a private matter! For an experience "cheat" , you can always tell when and how it is about to happen is what I mean!  You cannot stop it, but you know say "e don happen"!

Seven Cardinal Signs to flag you that Your Guy Has Been Sleeping Around!

1)  When una fight!  Your guy packs out of the house for a weekend or a week "to go cool off"!
2)  When your guy stays out all night and does not come home till about 6am-9am  the next morning!
3)  When your guy no touch you for a week or some people say 1 month to 1 year!
4)  When your guy starts to compare you to some other babe!
5) When your guy constantly wants to sleep in another bedroom of the house!
6) When your guy likes to hang out with his friends more than you his babe!
7) When your guy wants to take frequent trips without you!

Ladies! If one or more of these apply or applies to you, then the answer to your question if YES!

@mrmayor!

LOL

I like your option best! Very funny!

@Topic. This is becoming a more popular trend!

1) Most guys want evidence that the future bride is capable of producing "issues" Especially with the mother-in-laws dem!

2) That is one sure way to snag a guy to the altar---like I did! Most guys will try to talk the babes into terminating the pregnancy to get off. Naija babes are bocoming sharper not to listen to those "abortion" merchants. Naija babes will like to keep their babies now instead of playing "good virgins" It does not always work but the guys with conscience will decide to marry the pregnant bride at the last minute. The ones without conscience will bail anyway! Most guys will wait till the last minute to make up their minds about marriage----------when they are hooked!

@doncaster
Sorry, I do not understand ya grammar! Please clarify!

@annabel
No need to fear our Naija guys though. They only know what their fathers did with their mothers so you just have to deal with them that way! Just educate yourself like I said and experience the different flavors in life.

@Uyai
Miss perfect. Please tell the rest of the gals the secret of catching your breed of "romantic" naija guys from home and abroad. It looks like you alone has all the answers and get all the "right" guys!

@tpia
You will be surprised how much you can learn when people give your honest opinions!

@theopops and vronnie
my dear sistas, you know say na true na!

@beauti
I see say you get customers for here oh!

@superman
Na wah oh!

@Topic

What is new? Money will soon change hands and everyone will be quiet for a while, till they get hungry again! Hungry people!

@hannamor

Please can you please read your post and clarify if you are a male or female? You identified your sex in your profile as male. Then you are telling us that you have an "American Husband"! Are you married to a man? When you get you stories straight, then I can respond to your post! Right now, you have major credibility issues!

@Topic
By setting standards and goals to be achieved on a yearly basis!  If any official is found wanting in any area of operation---there should be consequences and a few scape goats dealt with including jail time.  This way the others can sit up!  This new admin should not wait till after 4 years to supervise or probe government officials.  Not that "toothless" bull dog---EFCC! Probing should be based on continous assessment of government functionaries every 6 months!---By independent agencies!

All contracts awarded should be appraised by independent agencies to screen for substandard materials and inflation of costs!  We are tired of contracts executed with substandard materials, especially in areas of building and transportation!

Yes oh! @ diamondd!

Make you work hard oh! Don't depend on these "yahoo" lovers here! Ain't no man gonna give ya shit! Instead they will take yours to give another babe--even with the "smelling" mouth!

@diamondd I dey laff!

Which song you want Naija man to sing to you to turn your on? Let me guess! Hmmmmmmmm! Singin'---if you see my mama---hosaina, Tell am say oh----hosiana! he he he! Laff wan kill me! Nice try diamondd! Nice try!

@Jaguar1

I beg speak for yourself oh!  You can tell if ya man is out there somewhere!  It is called a woman's intuition!  There are a combination of things that come into play---not just the amount of "akamu" produced!  If you know ya man's habits, it is easy to catch him.  For you guys with multiple "sleep" partners that only see eachother once a week or twice a month, then you do not need to know because he is not yours alone! 

I have lived with a man for years.  When he says ha!  I know where he is going.  We live in the same house abi?  So tell me where im wan pass! We rarely go anywhere without the other if we are not working. He is not a "Nigerian"  businessman that goes and comes as he likes.  We both have work schedules that are predictable so when anyone cheats, it is very easy to find out!  We get our radar! We do not lie to each other, because no need for that! So when you are not a good liar, it is had to start lying or start keepings secrets. So we are not talking about part time boyfriend and girlfriend!  We are talking about long term relationship!  These are two different things! When most of you get to that stage, then you will understand. For now, na play una dey play!

@Topic

To win my "eart", you have to have a JOB! I don't care how cute you are or how precious you think your "snake" skin is! You must bring home the bacon! The rest is negotiable! No poor guys please! No lazy or dirty guys either!

@diamondd

That is my specialty area--professionally! I am a "neat freak" too! Anything "dorty", count me out! I do not deal with dirty guys in the name of dirty love!

@Fromuk

You bet ya sweet arse! I waka before I marry oh! So I know!

@Topic
Same advice I will give my daughters.

Quit acting needy and desperate!  The guy does not want you at the level you want him now!  Perhaps he is sampling others!  Please find something else to occupy your time!  You have a lot to work on---especially your self esteem!

If na Naija bobo, you know it takes them time to settle down! You guys are still in the "string along and sampling" phase of your relationships. If you have time and money to waste because you see something valuable, by all means keep him on your radar. If not, please hit the road and find something else to "perch" on! Your paths might cross again! If na me I no dey wait oh! Time na money oh!

@osereka
Hey!  You reap what you sow!  Shay you dey read ya bible?   Go and read the "parable of the sower"!

@osereka
Sorry!  I cannot use my money to "brush" up any local naija "bandit"! Did that in my teens and 20's! When I was in school and had nothing did any naija "comfortable" guy "brush" me up?  So please make una find una level oh!  I say I don pass that stage!  God forbid! Tufia-Kwa!  That is for naija desperate "born again" babes, looking for husband and "fruit of the loom"!  I say I don pass that stage!

I reject poverty in Jesus name!  I gat my own shit now!  That is why I invested so much time and money in my education and independence!  Don't need any thing "poor" around me!  Even if it has the only set of key to the golden "gates of heaven"!  Lai! Lai!  That is a sign of desperation!  I am not a desperate gal!  Never was, and never will be!  I call the shots now because I hold the 4 aces!  Go and work for your own!

@oracle99

Madness has set in! Are you unemployed? Wetin vex you reach like so? Why are you yelling? I guess a hungry man is an angry man! Please try find one sugar mama to take gum bodi! Ladies, stay away from this type oh! This one will beat you up every day because of lack of chop money! Plus no action for bed! oracle99, you are a real loser! LOL

@osereka!

Neither because both options do not met my needs currently! For the following reasons!   


1)  I do not live in Nigeria and so those things mean nothing to me!  Humvees are military vehicles to me and so not appealing!  That may please the typical naija hungry babe! 

2) I work and have my own money and so do not need any abuse from any man with personal hygiene habits or humiliations of poverty! Sorry I do not dig YANYA residents!  I have passed that stage because  I know better now!  No more lazy, poor dudes for me oh!

Okay for the sake of "I have to choose"

I will choose option #1
Me and poverty do not get along! Promise ke?   Sorry, my love is not on credit!  Payment and documents of ownership in my name, before service!  I will choose the rich guy and use his money to treat his dental problems--including getting him a mouth "transplant" before kissing him! Haba!  The love must come by force!  I must love him oh! With all that money! What are you talking?

@diamondd

Which toothpaste ya guys dey use?   It sounds like lack of annual dental care to me.  Most of us do not even "floss" daily! If you have "funky" breath in the morning after brushing at night, there is a problem!  Personal hygiene problem!  If you brush every night before you go to bed, the breath is not as bad. 

Please do not brush then eat a big mac and a large coke for late night snack and expect not to kill someone the next morning oh   Once you brush your teeth before you go to bed, nothing enters that mouth in the name of food or drink except water!  Ehmmmmmmmmmmm!  cough- cough- "oboatiokos"  are allowed of course! ---for sweeter, fresher breath!  Because chances of bacterial growth multiplies with left over food/drink particles in the mouth over night!

If your breath smells, you have too many cavities, gum disease or some other problem.  Kissing this type of mouth na wahala oh!  You probably have been kissing  the mouth full of tooth "pulp" from leaking cavities! You are losing your teeth and bleeding so may not even know it!  Those of you that bleed while you are brushing your teeth take note! Brushing or mints will not save you!  Yuck!   The smell of the old rotten blood from the mouth is what some of you may be kissing! Yummy!  Laff wan kill me!  Una go kill person oh! This is even more harzadous than the "contents" in "Mouth Action tools and materials"!

@oracle99

People like you do not have dental records!  Brushing for you might be 3 times a week with "chewing" stick with thick layers of "cottage cheese" on your tongue!  Need a referral?   Money has nothing to do with this "messy mouth" topic!  How many naija guys dey kiss sef?  Bush men!

@beauti

I use all the oyinbo skills dey please my man now!  You cannot learn it from naija guys, so forget that angle!  I am glad you can testify to the "oyinbo" tin!  That is why most of our guys go to sleep with prostitutes.  Oyinbo has taught Naija prostitutes what it means to get good service.  When the Naija guys encounter these "experienced" prostitutes, they patronize them for life even after getting married to their wives! 

Communication of sexual fantasies is still a taboo between Naija couples!  All the gals want to be good virgins and all the guys want to marry these good virgins, and let them stay that way----but will patronize "freaky prostitutes" for life!  Then the guys will complain of women that lie in bed like dead wood!  If you shake too much, you are an ashewo! You don spoil finish.  They will even scandalize you to their friends, mothers and sisters how "rotten"you are!

On one of my visits to Nigeria, I visited Grand Hotels for the Buffet Dinner and saw one Foreigner(could not tell his national origin from his skin color) feeding one Naija babe pepper soup!  I was like wow!  All the other naija couples in their terrible outfits,---not sexy at all--- were looking at each other, talking nonsense!  Even brought their children to run all over the place and "finger"  all the food on display!  Cannot even have a romantic dinner!  Which couple do you think will have better sex when they get home?  I rest my case!

@acid drop

Sorry!  You cannot teach an  old dog new tricks!  You gals out there still searching, go and educate yourselves with another race-preferably oyinbo, then use your skills to nab one hooker-crazy Naija man! He will get fulfilled at least 50% of the time! I love Igbo guys oh!  For Igbo guys na "yawa"!  They communicate best in the romance area!  Then Hausa!  The rest na nonsense!  Once in a while you will see some variation in yoruba, calabar, Bini, Tiv and the rest! 

The worst na Bini guys!  To touch your "Stuff" na wah!  Dem go look the thing like say na "You.F.O".  all night, then use 2 minutes finish them work  Very lazy! Bini guys  believe in sign language.  When it comes to romance!  Zero skills, they become, blind, deaf, and dumb! I sabi them well well! That is why all their gals are in Belgium, France, Italy and Netherlands!  Lack of appreciation!

Calabar guys are another horrible bunch, if you are looking for romance!  All physical and no finesse or logic behind their moves! Calabar guys are tacky and just outright crude!  No finesse at all!  One grab at one of ya your breasts, it will be deflated at least 2 bra sizes!  I call Calabar guys the "Sag machines"--- and you will feel like you have been maulled by some pit bull!  Don't even think of putting your breast in their mouths! ! You will age in about 1 week or less from all the abuse!

Yoruba na all for show!   All talk and no action!  No stamina, no equipment style. Too much amala and ewedu for night, then expect you to do all the work!  Believe in quantity not quality!  How many can I sleep with in 1 week and who will I brag to!  Those ones are specialists in stealing your underwear for keepsakes!  To tell their friends who did who!  I call these ones sexual "tatafos"!  The basis of romance is intimacy.  Not in yoruba dictionary because of too much talk- talk and not enough action.  Their attention span is shortlived!  These ones have---- attention deficit disorder of both body and spirit!

Igbo and Hausa guys for romance!  I say my gals!  For the rest tribes, prepare to work oh!    Don't even consider guys from Edo area!

@naijaway

Sorry brov!  It is a matter of choice, self esteem and what you feel comfortable with!  Whatever anyone else thinks is secondary as long as you feel good and it is not against any organization's dress code or laws.  If there are strict dress codes, fine!  If not, please have pride in your own! Customize it to make it suit whatever occasion you are attending!

@rowlandwhy

We know!  There is a time and place for every thing!  By the way, we have different materials for every weather type in Nigeria and to be used abroad too!  From light to thick, name it.  So use what you feel is comfortable for whatever climate period!  People like you will wear 'ankara' material in Heathrow airport in the middle of January!  How won't your "little Johnny" freeze? I believe in variety, but I prefer our Nigerian African attires any day. 

Our ladies look so. so, so, sexy in them!  Our men almost look like hunks in traditional attires.  Just check out our own Y'ardua in his blazing white! When our men wear suits, most of them just look plainly ridiculous!   You cannot wear a suit when you are "gait challenged" or your sense of balance is disproportional to whatever gravitational forces are exerted upon your individual frameworkl!  Most Africans are!  Dey waka like "chaka the Zulu" come go wear suit!

@Nite Angel and angel101

Do not mind these "African Romans" jare!  Have you seen these our African brodas in suits?  Quite a joke!  With their pot bellies and fat arses causing the "trosis" them to have hiccups around the "private area"!  Sorry brodas, most of us do not look good in these western attires.  They are not comfortable in our climate and it looks disgusting! Most of brodas look like "haunting dogs" or "Michelin men in suits!  Monkey suits for that matter---hammered by one "sura the the tailor" not even the real thing! 

GOOOOOOOGOO Y'ardua! Please knock em dead!  Who cares what the oyinbo man thinks?   When they come to Nigeria, do they wear our 'agbada'?  Again only to make show like "Bill Uche Lanre Musa Clinton" did when he visited!  Why did your Queen of England, timber-legged Mama charlie- Queen Eliza not tire buba and iro bub she visited?  When you are in Rome do as the Romans do ko! Now you want to quote cliches? Oh please!

@Xtycod

Thank you for the compliment! Now who is the dummy donkey arse? What an irredeemable dunce you are! Typical calabar mentality!  You can only mention Donald Duke out of how many southerners   For the rest do not count!

So what can you deduce from the qualities listed above from my first posting?  I see you cannot connect the dots since all you see, smell, touch, feel and think is your almighty[b] "Congo Meat" [/b] in calabar there!

1. Humility.

2. Teamwork oriented--sharing and solving problems.

3. Pride in your own environment.  Staying in Nigeria because you feel it is the best place for you despite its hardships.

4.  Integrity-----------------avoiding local and international crime sprees, lying, cheating, stealing and making a global nuisance of one's self!

Have I spelled it out for you now?  Northerners or Southerners?  Which sets of tribes display more?  75% of Northerners have these qualities while less than 5% of Southerners are still struggling to understand these!

You calabar houseboy that constantly thinks with his 2 inch penis!  All you know how to do is insult other tribes.  I think I know what  your problem is. You did not breast feed for enough time,------ to get your immunities and faculties well developed.  You need to dig ya mama up and breast feed some more.  You really need it.  The first year of your life must have been very traumatic for you, since the  basic foundation for "self" trust was denied you. You feel totally disconnected from your roots, any  sense of reality or belonging around you.  You are truly a sick, lost soul! An intellectual carcase!  May God continue to offer you peace of mind!  You are a world class idiot! You dog meat!