₦airaland Forum

gift2xl:
Just like the same kind of new, where you train her in school hoping to get married to her when she's done. Suprisely you found out she's getting married to someone else.

APC kind of people.

Have you thought of why some men prefer to train a lady through the university/polytechnic instead of going straight to marry ladies who are already graduates and need not spend on their schooling?

DMerciful:
She willed her properties to her daughters,
this op mother should have done same. Then there would be no fighting

As long as the OP is the woman's son and a recognized heir by the law, her husband (OP's father) can not unilaterally do anything with the properties left behind...he can't sideline his son.

DMerciful:
Maybe she can try not to die then ,

On a serious note, women should leave some part of the properties to the husband insofar they were married before her demise. She shouldn't 'punish' the man by assuming he would remarry, women also remarry

Mention someone you know who would not die someday? How is she punishing the man by securing the future of the kids they had together?

Are you not aware in many places in Nigeria how when a man dies, his family of birth swoops in to grab whatever they can not minding his nuclear family or how the properties they are swooping on came about?

In one of my earlier posts where I narrated how a woman before her death willed the 4 flats apartments in Lagos which she inherited from her father to the 3 daughters she had with her husband who had 2 other children outside while they were still married. If she wasn't smart enough by now, you and I know that the baby mama would have been upgraded to a wife and would be forming landlady ontop property whey she no know the history and would claim that her son being the man's only male child should be the rightful heir to the property and would go to any length to achieve that.

DMerciful:
The guy said a hard truth! When mem die, they leave their properties for the wife(wives) and children but women with properties tends to leave it for the children alone.

In Nigeria, between a widow with 4 children and a widower with 5 children....who is more likely to remarry and have more children?

Women with properties tend to leave for their children as a means of security for them knowing that after her death, the husband is more likely to bring a new woman into the family who would also want to have kids for the man.

Is it rational to expect such a woman to feel comfortable with the thought that after her demise,the husband would use proceeds from her properties to maintain his new wife and the children from his second marriage which at most times her own children would be deprived of what should basically be theirs?

Lekan239:
that's why I questions the relationship between the man and his wife. If there marriage was near perfect at the first place, the properties should have been registered with the name of the man.

Why should a property inherited by a woman from her father be registered in the name of the man she is married to, what happened to her own name?

Kobojunkie:
Abeg, how true is the claim made below..

The attached screenshot gives an insight.

https://guardian.ng/features/next-of-kin-implication-on-beneficiaries-of-estates-in-relation-to-laws-of-succession/

Maobichek:
You have a point but the right question should be: who is the next of kin to the late woman? Did you write a will? These questions clarifies the squabble ok.

Next of kin is not key when it comes inheritance.

bigpicture001:
It's not about peaceful marriage.. it's about women... Thy don't ever love their hubby . It's all about their children.

Men sacrifice alot for the family and. Leave. Properties for children but first in the care of the wife which is not saleale by her till children come of age and agree. Together to sell

Ifa man trust a woman with his life. He is. Done for.. vey selfish gender

So OP's father so love the late wife that he wants to sell some of the land she left behind without the knowledge of his adult son?

To prevent the father from selling, the OP has the option of getting the court to get the father to undergo mental capacity assessment. Relatives do such to block the liquidation of inheritance on frivolities especially by an elderly beneficiary who may be externally influenced.

As long as the deceased is also survived by offspring (s) and of adult age, the surviving spouse can not unilaterally choose what to do in administering the Estate of the deceased.

Sureplug123:
some of these naija women ( if not all) you choose to defend are worst than the Caucasians. You know this.

It is not about defending Nigerian women, we have mentally disordered persons in both Nigerian men and women, just as we have in both Caucasian men and women, whose personality disorders thrive on their dysfunctionalities.

I have worked in psychiatric facilities in Africa and presently here in the UK, so I base my opinion on my lived experience.

Sureplug123:
I'll will not hit her, I'll shoot her and face the consequences. People do it everyday.

Good you acknowledged you will be facing the consequences of killing her as you would feel emasculated ending the marriage with her so you will prefer murder.

He did not fully transition.

constancefriday:
@mindlog - the story was quoted, I forgot to add that initially.
My occupation has nothing to do with this post. You quickly jump to attack my career and my sanity.
If you read 90-95% of my articles on Nairaland, articles authored by me has my name and signature on it.
You just jump into conclusion because you've been brainwashed and colonized to think that anything African is shit and only stuffs from the west are dope.
So tell me, who is sane and not sane here

You conveniently forgot to indicate that it was a quoted story and gave it off as yours, what was your intention?

Brainwashed? Even though l live in the West, it still doesn't change my mind on what I have written whether you quoted the story or not. When did the Istael turn to become the tomb of an igbo man's father?

Why the blazing anger of the 'anonymous writer"?

Do paste the web link to original write up by the anonymous writer.

Why should he have been buried in Israel, why not even your village in Igboland?

So the Caucasian wife has no right to be alive because her husband (your brother) has passed on?

Bastard No be your brother pikin or is his name not on her birth certificate?

Your brother left Nigeria for greener pastures in Europe and started a family there and that secured him his residency, so who are you to decide who stays/visits Africa?

I guess your having no power over her as one of her paternal uncles is frustrating you and probably when she will be getting married (if she chooses) you won't be getting even a Kobo as bride price.

For her to be bold enough to even be in Nigeria shows she is not scared of you, you think say na intimidation your likes are used to as brothers of the deceased to perpetrate injustice on the Nigeria wife and children their late brothers left behind.

And you deceive yourself by addressing yourself as an Apostle, a Motivational Speaker, Gospel Podcast Host, Writer, Counselor, Adviser and asking people to call you for occasions & for counsel on important life issues.

I pity who would call a twisted mind like yours for counseling! Same you that creates threads to interview himself and you think you are not over due for Mental Status Examination to guide the Clinician in establishing diagnosis and draw up treatment plan for you

Sureplug123:
funny you brought this up, if I disclose my current location, you'll be amazed but forget it. Like I said, there are Laws in the WEST but DV is still prevalent.
Kentucky has the highest domestic violence statistics in the United States, with 45.3% of women and 35.5% of men having experienced domestic violence.They even kill themselves.

I am also in a location even on the receipt of the supermarket where I get my groceries, there is a helpline number to call if you are experiencing domestic violence but you are yet to answer my question of will you beat your Caucasian wife living there with you in the West if you deemed disrespected and provoked?

emeernest:
Both of them should be summoned b4 Amadioha to swear they are telling the truth. That's the only solution.

They will both tell you they attend a Bible-believing Church and have nothing to do with dieties

So each of them should replace he/his in Psalm 109, with their birth names as they read out then each should repeat their own side of the story.

Sureplug123:
these persons you've mentioned, can't disrespect in my house. That's the difference.
Until we all go back to the basic ; LOVE AND RESPECT, nothing will change.
The west have laws but DV is still prevalent.

Since location is a factor, let's assume you as a Nigerian man is married to a Caucasian wife and live in the West in a house you are paying the rent and you feel disrespected by her, will you beat her when she provokes you?

The effects of learned helplessness.

Kobojunkie:
Na the mama cause am anyways. So this man has to now hope the father collapses before everything is gone. Na wa oo!

The properties are not exclusively his father's as long the woman has surviving children, all will have a share.

A landlady whose 4 flats building near ours in Lagos, inherited the said property from her father. She was married and had 3 daughters, the eldest was in SS2 when she died and her husband had 2 kids outside during their marriage. She knew she wouldn't survive her health challenge and was smart enough to have a will done stating their 3 daughters as the only beneficiaries of the building excluding the husband.

After her burial even with the husband already knowing that the building belongs to their daughters, he came to make noise at the property even came with his own padlocks. The police from Area F had to be called in and had him taken away, the maternal relatives of the girls had to fight to discontinue the man being in custody of the girls to avoid stories that touch the liver as he regards them as his rivals

2goodbobo:
Your Father has the right to sell or claim the properties because he was Her Husband.

The children of the deceased also have rights to the properties going by the law, so it is not exclusively their father's.

GraciousGod190:
no will

As long as your mother's marriage to your father was legally recognized, him being the surviving spouse, you and your siblings will all be beneficiaries.

Get a lawyer involved.

GraciousGod190:
As much as I hate bringing this here, I need advice on ways to go about this..is it right for a father to drag his wife wealth with his son, knowing fully well, the son is now a grown man.

My mom left us with lot of properties she acquired as inheritance from her father and mother side, been the only surviving child, while she was still around some relatives wanted to grab some of it...claiming she's a woman...but seeing she had a grown up son which was me they had to maintain and stay on their lane... besides my mom was never the sluggish type.

Now, my dad is trying to drag this property with me, saying he wants to sell some of the land without even informing me... he his claiming some of house rents and lavishing it on frivolities anyhow.

Yes he's my father, he trained me up to this stage that I am, but by right Those properties are mine already....if am wrong please someone should tell me.

Did your mother leave a will behind?

Also been keen on observing mental status as some people are risky to be with in an intimate relationship.

Attended Corona Primary School between1969 and 1975....Day one ajebutter

DanielAlhassan:
Is it possible to love your children equally

This issue is currently causing problem were am living

A family of two girls and a boy

Seems like the parents are showing more love to the male child and the female one are not playing or socializing with the male child

Sometimes there parents have to force them to be with their brother

They openly show more love to the boy and still expect his sisters to easily bond with him? Let them continue with the sibling rivalry
they are nurturing ....hope they will be alive to harvest the fruits.

Parents should learn how to balance it.

emmanuelbrown26:
Since somebody has decided to be CIA in digging people's past, well, whatever that comes from specie that bleeds for days without dying, I don't think it worths any stress.

Don't forget that the 23 chromosomes out of the 46 you carry about is from specie that bleeds for days without dying , so what does that make you?

Anger management is very important. When he gets arrested and arraigned, what will he tell the magistrate or judge are his reasons that justifies his actions and not end up in prison?

PHIPEX:
If the govt considers the citizens and its own security forces as collateral damage, what then is the difference between the supposed terrorists and the govt? That sounds like Putin's strategy in Ukrain.

That's what governance in Nigeria has reduced to. Realistically after the Kaduna attack and avoidable deaths are you not expecting more of such calamities in the coming days and weeks? The government is sitting like lame ducks, more focused on 2023.

PHIPEX:
Meaning they are in support of the nuisance in the East. What do we call a govt supporting "supposed terrorist" against innocent citizens even when its security agents are dieing?

Simon is/was part of IPOB, ignoring him for now serves a purpose while the innocent citizens and the security agents are collateral damage.

They want igbos to be the ones to lead the fight against IPOB, ESN, Simon Ekpa and the unknown gunmen.

Sickening. Imagining the trauma the child is going through.

PHIPEX:
The fact that the govt kept quiet about the Ekpa guy ranting from Finland is a suspect for me, not even Lai Mohammed has said a word.

Because they "appreciate" his nuisance value for now, his actions are helping put IPOB on the defensive.

Brimstone77:
....

Thou I don't support the activities of the unknown gun men in the east(because innocent civilians sometimes fall victims),but we all must not shy away from the truth or the root cause of all the attacks on military formation in the east..

I no the mod might delete this post for a reason best known to them, but must say this for posterity sake.

Prior to 2015 when MNK was arrested many youth (armless) took to the street to protest for his release, during that period many youths were killed by the Nigerian military,many were abducted and have never been seen again till date,nobody remind this military that the people they were killing were their brothers, nobody remind them that they were destroying south east region, nobody remind them that their activities were affecting the economic activities in the region,youths were killed across the south east region unabated..

And to add salt to injury the famous operation "PYTHON DANCE" was introduced and all hell were let loose,the military laid siege of the south east region and we're killing innocent youths unchallenged,part 1,2,3 of the operation PYTHON DANCE came in and more youths were mulled down...

Fast forward to 2020,2021,2022 unknown force came into existence and their sole target became the military..
Military formations were attacked and burnt including police stations,many military men were killed..

Now those people who never see anything wrong in operation python dance 1,2,3 have all found their voices, they have deployed so many propaganda and blackmail..

Today they will want to make us believe that these same military men that have been killing our youth since 2015 are our brothers,they will want to make us believe that the few police station burnt by unknown gun men have destroyed the entire South East region.. N:B.. this same group of people never see anything wrong when the military go about burning people's residence and shops, infact they applauded the military when they were burning those shops..

I wonder if these guys are just being mischievous, hypocritical or ignorant..

I only blame my Igbo brother that have fallen to their blackmail and propaganda..

Whose interests are those "unknown gunmen" fighting for?