₦airaland Forum

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Oh my goodness! I can't stop laughing. Just sent this to everyone I know.

Sorry to disappoint you.I am not a nanny neither am I recommending one to you. Just felt lead to give u a word of advise. This might not be the best place to get someone to watch over precious little children. Please no matter how desperate the situation is take your time and look very well before employing any body as a nanny even if d kids involved are not your own. I have been there once and I Know its not a funny situation to b in. Try d children's dept in your church and churches (if u r a christian)around your neighbourhood, tell teachers at d kids school to help u find someone dey trust. Goodluck.

Nice one. I for one can't wait. Maybe it will help some back sliders come back to the God their hearts once yearned for before d jet,limo, range rover etc acquisition took his place!

Nice one. I for one can't wait

SUCIDE MISSION. The "love" will evaporate after 3months of hunger, sleeping on d bare floor and daily arguments about who should go and beg whom for money. They won't even be interested in d marital sex which I believe is d main motivating factor. Like someone said Manna no longer falls from heaven and two adult decide they are old enough to be married the parents wash their hands off them and wish them luck in d land of OYO. Be wise don't start your marriage with begging

mrkels: A police DPO in ekiti state told me that there's this path leadind from ekiti state to osu state, that's if you are going from Efon alaye(ekiti state) to iwaraju( osun state)...he said somewhere along that express there's a. Thick bush where they kill at least 20 persons monthly. He said they have tried to follow them more than once but always fail in the operation. His reasons and exact same words - " each time we follow the bus filled with dead/sleeping passengers, there's a particular sharp bend they ll divert into, the place is hilly and no car whatsoever can go through except the ritualists bus.the grounds would become level and the bushes would give way for their bus and close in behind the bus" please people aviod that route as those killers are using what seems to be spiritual powers to hide themselves from the police.

I laugh. What an excuse in this modern time and age. DPO my foot. So why don't they lay ambush on d guys b4 they approach d spiritual sharp bend Foolish idiot!

Crazy Lady! Her mind must be playing tricks on her rubbish!!

Is dis price still available? If I order 1 tray of spring roll and samosa for my party how do I get it? Will you come and fry it at my party or how?

I can imagine all d emotional trauma d dirty dog is putting you through Wish I cud come over to your office and give him a serious slap. It sounds like you really need this source of Income so my advise is - Try and catch him in a good mood and tell him exactly Y u can't sleep with or date hi. Be it religion, morals, he is married, u r married or wotever your reasons are. I will advise u to put on your acting hat and cry uncontrollably while explaining to him. Tell him its not that he is not good enough for u dat infact u find him attractive but u just can't do it because of your given reasons. Remember to cry very well cos it works for me all d time no matter d situation. If he consoles u and says you should stop crying tell him he hurts your feelings every time he is mean to you cos u know its becos u refused his proposal. He will probably try to convince u too go out with him just once but stick to your guns and let your given excuse be consistent and very convincing. If he still insists tell him you are thinking of leaving d job because u can bear it anymore.

Well if he is human and was brought up by a good mother he will leave u alone. If he doesn't ignore his madness for as long as u can and continue applying and praying for greener pastures.
Goodluck.

My dear please advise yourself and stay in Nigeria.
U want to forsake your family, friends and all that you know to go to Abu Dhabi to be a security guard for 120k per month? Do you know what it is like to live in a foreign land surrounded by people who don't even see u as a human being and will throw your corpse in d street if anything happens to you? All for a 120k job as a security guard Did you say you are a graduate of mechanical engineering? Please my dear manage your 50k job and keep applying for your dream jobs one day something better will come up. Besides, d Visa is not even ready yet and if u ask me it sounds like a scam but what do I know? Why don't you even think of gaining enough experience at your present place of work and starting your own COY??Hard work doesn't kill and what doesn't kill you only makes u stronger. Good luck.

Why on earth does d bride have that expression on her face?? And why is d groom holding d waist of another lady Something is definitely wrong with this lot!!!

aktunde: People I have met
1. Clarus and giringory (of new masquerade)
2. Natty (Also in the New Masquerade)
3. Baba suwe
4. Baba latin
5. Luku-luku
6. Dejo
7. Tunfulu
8. Ibu (john Okafor)
9. Opebe
10. Voltron
11. Super-Ted
12. Spider Man
13. Danger mouse
14. Sani Abacha (he still spoke with me last night)

Abi all these people no be celerity?

My observations about them

number 1 - 9 on the list is that these people are too handsome. They are ladys' men. Look at the way babes are struggling just to get autographs. While dinning with Voltron (10 on the list), I asked if he could help us tackle boko haram problem. He said unfortunately no, because he is no more the defender of the universe, and that is why I do not see him on TV again. Matter of fact, he said he had been looking for one of the five lions who came to Nigeria and was kidnapped by my guys in ND. In a night club where I met super Ted (11 on the list) he expressed his dissatisfaction over how he came to Unilag and he saw ladies close to 30 years old having several teddy bears on their bed. He said those teddy bears are so big that he (super Ted) felt intimidated. Bad enough, those ladies did not even recognize him. I felt sorry for him super Ted. Spider man (12 on the list) snobbed me all through. I don't know why. As for danger mouse, we met at DC. He is now broke, but very friendly. He told me he got bankrupt because of speeding tickets because according to him, he has paid close to 10 million dollars in speeding ticket from the early 1980s till date. Abacha (14 on the list). He appears very gentle now. While talking over the phone, he said he know he would be going to hell fire, and he know there is no food there. So, he told me he still found his way of stealing some yams into hell. He was asking if I could get someone to help him bring palm oyel which he can use to eat the yams he roasted with the heat in hell fire, and some fura denunu to step it down. I think his credit finished along the line as I got disconnected all of a sudden.

Those are the great celebrities I have met. I am looking forward to seeing more thou

LMAO..

Anyone lives in Austin, Texas and can recommend a cheap preferablly Nigerian Obgyn to help deliver my baby at minimal cost? Thanks

Thanks thebaft i will send you and email so we can jist proper am leaving in 2wekks by Gods grace!

The person i was planning to stay at her place in NY has suddenly changed her mind so i am thinking of going to austin texas now! Any advise on how to get a doctor that wont charge to much there? thanks

Sorry Dance with what i meant was b1/b2 visa! thanks for the correction and patiently waiting for your reply!

shebambam, I guess you are back now! Please i will be travelling to the U.S next month to have my baby by Gods grace and will appreciate if you can give me information about how you went about getting an OB and how much it cost you. I have a 2 yr Hi/H2 visa and proof of funds of about $10k. I am planning to have the baby in New York. Thanks

So what? I don't see why Tribune made a big deal by putting it the their paper, isnt that what an average Nigerians goes through every single day? Tell me something i don't know.

Hey Nestoville any idea what to expect on Wednesday? Also do u know what the pay is like at Guinness?

No stockbroker in the house

I bought some shares of Unilever some 7 years ago and did not get certificates only qtly statements from my stockbroker. I have since lost touch with him but was told by my mom that Unilever still sends me bonus shares/dividend certs. Do i need to get a certificate for my shares or how does it work these days, The only evidence i have now is a bonus shares cert i got from Unilever in 2007, Any advise guyz

Yes thats the website i visited but the link for professional students registration is broken,

Marry the one you love which obviously is the one with the magic wetincall. Don't be deceived, if you marry the functional one just coz u want to eat good food and etc you will be miserable the rest of your life and end up taking a mistress that reminds you of the other lady, When a guy loves a lady he is ready to tolerate all her shortcomings and be happy no matter what but if he does not love her even the slightest mistake d lady makes pisses him off and irritates the hell out of him no matter how almost perfect she is, A word is enough for the wise my dear!!

does anyone know what documents i need to send with my application to sit for ican in nigeria. i have a masters in  accounting. cant find info on the website.

A wise fisherman once said 'If you are consistently catching the wrong type of fish, the problem can be easily fixed by changing the bait', A word is enough for the wise!

Thanks, Just to clarify the cassettes i have are in NTSC (US, Canada) format not nigerian format and i want them converted to dvd so i can play them on Nigerian t.v/dvd player, No vex for my silly qtns

Easy answer,

Girl shipped Nigeria - will be so excited and want you to take her pictures when you take her 'shopping' @ Walmart and 'out for dinner' to Mickeyd

Girl living here for the past 5yrs - will ask you not to drive past Walmart and Macdonalds area on your way to Hugo boss to buy the new handbag that just came out(note she is footing the bill herself), because she almost got mobbed there the last time she had a flat tire around there!

However what Nija guyz dont realize is that the so called humble girl they shipped in from Nija given just 6months will be worse than the one that has been living here for 5years. 

I remember those days in College, i used to wear one so as to have a polite way to say no without offending my toasters including cultists and bad belle people that cudnt take no for an answer and boy did they run after me then - I miss those days oh I had a serious boyfriend, though we were not engaged and he was done with school then so he was not always on campus to ward of guyz, wetin man go do but form engage? Trust me my eyes were always open for greener pastures just in case ole boy mess me up sha so it was a win win for me ,

Anyone? Is there a place i can take them to in Lagos to get them converted to DVD

Hi thanks for responding, what is a T.V card?