₦airaland Forum

[quote author=musiwa,,. link=topic=879072.msg10280764#msg10280764 date=1330311064]i think it is a reflection of what i once said about population of igbos in lagos. and it also show some people cant attract as much crowd. look imagine if it was fela who is the person attending ojukwu burial. even if it was awolowo that attended ojukwu burial. people will come to see ojukwu because awolowo was going to attend. People will show, because the people believe in him.[/quote]Stop grasping at straws to explain the disgraceful turnout. There are LOADS of Igbos living in Lagos! How do I know? The entire city empties out in the weeks around Christmas/New Year to go to the East! Stop making up implausible excuses.

Tinubu is the new Awolowo and he was there for the funeral ( ). Why didn't anyone show up?

Death and devastation @ Sagamite thinking he really started his company with 13k GBP!!

Triple death @ all this acetaminophen-guzzling for another man's migraine!!!

Sagamite, your foolishness is terminal. You have locked yourself up in a cage lined with mirrors; now you are only barking at yourself.

denzel2009:
I know the OP.

The plot thickens.

Uncle Denzel, are you the father?

ileobatojo:
testimony indeed! Will your own church accept that kain testimony?

I’m not saying I know she definitely wants the pregnancy but that she really hasn’t told us one way or another. Her original post to me though has a hint of her deciding to maintain the pregnancy. She’s just wondering about the hardships she will face due to this decision.

But these your reasons don’t mean her life is over now. Ahn ahn, don’t exaggerate! She won’t be the first single mother ke.

There are different types of single mothers: single divorced/separated mothers and there are single never-married mothers. The latter have a rough time finding a spouse. Will you allow your brother to marry a woman with a child by some unknown man? That woman had better be Dangote's first daughter!!!! 

coogar:
you may die tomorrow.

That's impossible! I went to church this morning and my pastor prayed for me! 

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=879808.msg10280153#msg10280153 date=1330295788]hearing the bible read in yoruba is a very interesting/fascinating experience.


will get the audio version as soon as i find one.[/quote]http://www.faithcomesbyhearing.com/ambassador/free-audio-bible-download

It might be dramatized though.

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=879808.msg10280123#msg10280123 date=1330295483]i know the songs in english and i have songs of praise even though i havent opened it in a while.

will get ancient and modern maybe when i go to nigeria.[/quote]I actually had my mum buy me a Yoruba/English Bible when last I was home. It's good for practicing Yoruba!

coogar:
it may contain sp[i]e[/i]rm. it might does not mean it will.
a disciplined man who knows the last time he discharged would know when to use the withdrawal method or not.

tpia@ may win miss world!

So in coogar-land, "may" = "definitely does not"?!!! Olodo!

I should have stolen my mum's CAC hymnal when I had the chance! I would have dumped it all here for you Yoruba Yoruba children! 

ps - I know a lot of these songs! I can't even believe I am singing them right now!

I am not impressed with the Lagos event. The Igbos need to do better for Ike eba!

coogar:
it does not. . . .scientifically proven.
unless the guy had discharged previously and the precu[i]m[/i] picks it up along the way.
precu[i]m[/i] is just for lubrication  - it shouldn't have any sp[i]e[/i]rm cells in em.

baby daddy ke. . . .i don't spray my seeds anyhow, tpia@
and even when it has to be unprotected, the babe must have active implant in her body.

The evidence is not conclusive. I also have access to Google, nah!

chaircover:
LOL

To be honest, I think that on the whole of this NL serubobo is the only one who the women will strip to their wrappers, tie their headtie around their waists and fight for

The charm dey work wella

Yeah, and then after all the fighting, the winner might discover that he is uglier than sin, walks with a vicious limp and has a giant pot belly.

blank:
You are the one that will have miscarriages, oloshi.

Hahahahahaha!!!! She's the OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See how Blank fall hand oh!!!!! Asiri ti tu o!!!!!!!!!!!

coogar:
prove it. . . .
how can f[i]o[/i]replay lead to pregnancy. . . .pre-ejaculati[i]o[/i]n has no sp[i]e[/i]rm cells in them.

Actually, that is NOT true. Pre-c[i]u[/i]m has some sp[i]e[/i]rm cells.

hottprince:
Guyz she s just tryn 2 help her bro wif his finance

He is not her brother. It is her brother-in-law. She must be the village amebo!

ileobatojo:
How do you know the child is unwanted? The pregnancy was unplanned but the OP has actually not said the child is unwanted.

You don’t know this! It’s not like she is a poor secondary school student who will have to drop out of school because of this.

If the child is wanted, then why is she here? Shouldn't she be at church sharing a testimony? I am assuming her life will be practically over because her parents will disown her; the guy is unlikely to accept the pregnancy because as far as he is concerned, he used a condom; and if she has found it hard to find a husband to date, she will find it even harder to find a husband with a fatherless child.

Ultimately, she can do whatever she likes. She asked for advice and we are giving it.

Why do people resurrect 6 year old threads with advice that isn't even helpful?!!! I just can't!!

Odunnu:
I'll love to have you teach me statistics, basic statistics but not on this thread. Lets start a class in the education section.
The point we are trying to establish is that a mother doesnt have to abort her baby because 'echidime'.

Stop it! The only reason why stats came up in the first place is because you were making a specious claim. An unwanted child is a burden on all of us. Please let her take care of it before the foetus gets too big. Her life will be practically over if she has this child out of wedlock.

Besides, is he complaining that he can't afford the tickets? Why swallow a bottle of Panadol for another man's headache?

Odunnu:
There are yet many more who had 'out of this world parents' also ended up as touts and never-do-well

Most children with great parents and a stable home turn out pretty well. Again, you're conflating a tail-end outcome with the average or expected outcome. My fellow Nigerians, please pay attention in your basic statistics classes!

Richvkunt:
Look kid,
I do not want to exchange words with you.
You are entitled to your opinion without exchanging insults.I assure you you do not want to go there with me.
I have been observing your posts for some time now,but must you rain insults to get your point across?
I think I am entitled to my own opinion and besides I was not talking to you.
Learn to be civil.Abusive argument does not mean a superior argument.
Please learn to ignore me as I have learnt to ignore you.
PEACE!!!

Old man, you shall be insulted when you come on here spouting undiluted foolishness. I reserve the express right to condemn foolish opinions as I see fit. Next time, please think before you open your mouth.  Thank you sir!

[quote author=Miss_Ife link=topic=879922.msg10279274#msg10279274 date=1330286829]I can only believe what you write here, and I don't mean to be rude or judgmental with you/your husband/marriage. At the end of the day, you go back to your life and I go back to mine. It's just that, it really makes me feel bad to read posts like yours, when you say HE is a womanizer and YOU are making more and more efforts to make him come back to his senses. Like he's not the one breaking his vows.

You know, I had a "boyfriend" once, who was a really great guy, always there when I needed him, very attentive and blablabla. I knew he had lots of girlfriends and I never really bothered since I considered him just a good friend. It's only after a year that I discovered he was married with kids. I was so shocked I refused to see him ever again. Now that I am married with kids myself, I often think of his behavior and of his wife. I wonder, does he play gentleman outside and then goes back home and is a great father? Or is he the kind of guy who makes her feel she is not enough to make him happy? The same man who was showing no remorse going from one gf to another, he goes back home, cooks, cleans, plays with his kid,  and his WIFE might be struggling, and praying to be "better" to "win him back"? His wife might be the only one really caring about him, but still, he spends his time on one night stands with different girls who don't give a sh*** ? And he's a good man?

I just find it so disgusting and degrading, as a woman,  A one time "mistake" can be hard to forgive, but a womanizer? That tells a lot about the guy's character,  And I can't believe any woman deserves a man like that.[/quote]Miss Ife, I am a great fan of the Ife people as you can see. However, I have to disabuse you of the notion that men have always been and should always be faithful. Monogamy in most African cultures is a fairly recent development. Our forefathers had happy marriages even when the man of the house had a wandering penis. I am not saying that men should cheat. I am just trying to present an alternate reality where a marriage can be successful with a chronically cheating husband. I have seen Aunty JenKa tear Aigboma apart on these boards and I think it's unfair. She is the one living in the marriage and she isn't the first woman to stay married to man that can't control his mamba snake.

jennykadry:
^^Good one. When I was on school prac in the hospital during my Uni days, Abortion was one of the procedure I ticked off as not interested to see/watch. I would go into the theatre and watch every procedure but abortion and I will never be a partaker of it physically.

Our neighbours Daughter was preggers @ 16, her mother made a deal with a health professional to either kill the baby or give it out immediately she is brought into this world. I remember hearing that it was an old Benin midwife that told the girl the truth. This girl ran away from lagos and had her baby in another state. Fast forwrd to present day, this same girl they wanted to kill after she was born, finished her secondary school education with scholarship. Her mother and step dad sent her to UK to study medicine and she came out as one of the best student, she actually was the best i think they said in her 5th year. She is a well known Dr in the UK as we speak, come and see her grand parents claiming grand daughter, someone they never wanted to hear, cry her first cry.

Tufiakwa

You shouldn't present tail-end outcomes as the average of a probability distribution function. For every single doctor story that you have, there are 20 stories of children who ended in motor parks and in southern italy.

Yes! It is very possible oh! I know one girl like this that changes her name very night! Today she is Rose and tomorrow you see her again and she has turned to Sharon.

XX01:
Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.

Please, don't become a housewife. The decisions we make in the luxury of today's circumstance might turn out to be disastrous tomorrow. My Mum made TERRIBLE decisions as a young bride because she had unfounded assumptions about the future. The only thing she ultimately fell back on was her job and her God. Nobody knows tomorrow. Besides, you have spent so much money on your education; it would be truly foolish to keep your certificates under your bed.

I would be a bit careful with the consulting job though (please do your due-diligence and figure out what the demands are). I am guessing you'll be working for the Lagos offices of Accenture, KPMG or PWC. Those jobs are not easy jobs; they are often stressful and involve long hours. Many mothers of young children find the jobs stressful (I know this because my cousin's wife is about to quit her job at one of these firms because she has a young child). They probably both have decent creches but I am not sure how well that will sit with your husband. There might be less stressful jobs out there if you wouldn't mind continuing the job search. Good luck. May God grant you the wisdom and strength to make the right decision for your future and for the future of your children.

davidylan:
If my sister got pregnant due to a one-night-stand you bet i would be adamant that she gets rid of the baby. Its absolutely not right that the irresponsible father of the baby gets to go ahead living his own life while my own sister has to radically alter hers just to bring a baby into a world of uncertainty. Why put urself in a virtual prison for life?

GBAM! And the real tragedy is that the very ones asking her not to abort the baby are the same ones that will stigmatize her for being a single mother and advise their sons not to marry her! Shior!

Richvkunt:
[b]@OP,
I find your first line contradictory,because I do not see why you can not use all these virtues to conquer your home front,
Is this how you see yourself or how people have described you?At times the way we see ourselves is not the same way outsiders see us.
I do not claim to have all the answers but I will advise you to work harder at substaining your marriage and less time on eulogising your self.
Marriage is a constant battle especially in Nigeria and you need to keep working on it.
You say you are humble,then you are half way there because humility is the key that opens a mans heart.
Another way is to communicate with your hubby and to make sure the lines of communication are never closed.
Submission is also very important because a ship with two captains is surely going to sink.
He is your husband and certainly there is something he saw in you and you saw in him to get married.
REKINDLE your love before it is too late.
I am talking from experience.Divorce is never the answer especially with the two lovely girls between the two of you.
Work to keep your marriage and your man-a word is enough for the wise!
PEACE!!!
[/b]

You are a dunce! So if a woman's husband is an unaffectionate ho, the woman is at fault? If the man decides to go sleeping around outside the family home, then the woman isn't working hard enough to "conquer" the "homefront"? You have nothing to contribute but foolishness. Men like you should have their tongues cut out and lips sealed - permanently.

She should be thankful that she isn't getting beat-up because that seems to be the trend hese days on NL. There's nothing she can do but to continue building her own life and the life of her kids. If she wants more children, then she should just ask the man. "Not Enough Sex" is not an excuse to go seeking a divorce oh. At least not in that jungle we call Nigeria.

If she really wants sex, then she needs to be a bit more vocal about her needs and desires. She should lock the bedroom door and refuse to open it unless he gives it to her. Doesn't look like she has much choice at this point but to demand it and see what happens.

Van snickers:
SMH,  The Advice you see People give on NL, can you give your Sisters this kind of Advice!!!

@op.

Don't abort the Child, if you feel you can't take care of the Child, give it up for Adoption once it's born.

Yes, I would never give a woman advice on here that I won't give my younger sisters. We are no longer in the dark ages. You can't just have a baby because the condom malfunctioned! What kind of world are you planning on building for that child if it won't come into a stable family where it is loved and nurtured into a stable, productive adult? So would you rather she have the baby for a man that will probably deny it and dump it in a gutter or go drop it off at an orphanage?! Or you want her to become another statistic. I didn't give the abortion advice lightly. Please, let's not turn this into a religious thread. The OP came on here for practical solutions to her current problems. God isn't going to help her get rid of an unwanted pregnancy!

@OP, age is not on your side and a baby will CERTAINLY NOT make you a more desirable marriage partner. Please don't ruin your life because some people on here thinks God had anything to do with the errant spermatozoa that fertilized your egg.

I am not a big fan of abortions if they can be avoided but in this case, it might be your best option. You are well-educated and you should be careful not to reason/behave like an illiterate by bringing a child into this world in such precarious circumstances.

You're a working woman so please go to a good and reputable doctor to avoid damage to your reproductive system. Contrary to the antiquated system of beliefs in Nigeria, abortions are common in most developed countries and don't bring down fire and brimstone from God. Some ladies on here can give you recommendations to good abortionists.

You need to confront him. Hopefully, this will shame him into civilized behavior going forward. When you signed your lease, sexual access to your household members were not a part of the deal.

Be sure to be on a look-out for a new place (your family is clearly not safe with a landlord like him hanging around).

May God grant you wisdom and strength to do what is right and to protect your family from a sexual predator.

betrani:
Why is it always women getting divorce settlements? We are here arguing over a divorce case of whose life we know nothing about! Has the women or man told us in clear terms why both want to part ways? I feel is a common example of greed predominant with these white chicks! Someone! because she wants to get a chunk of her husbands wealth, gets up one morning and says she is tired of being married, using her children as a suction pipe to get cash! Cld it be tu that this womans children are not well taken care of? She must be a friend of tiger woods dried Bottom ex! I mean she wants to become rich over night using 21m for what? And if she  is offer a yearly upkeep allowy, what is she going to spend it on? Food, medication rent and what? I begie

Men get huge divorce settlements too. It's just not as common because typically, rich women marry rich men.

Sagamite:
[size=18pt]Oil tycoon can use African law to fight £17m divorce (even though he built his fortune in UK, his wife is British and they live together in London)[/size]

One of Britain’s most successful black businessmen is attempting to strip his ex-wife of a £17.5million divorce payout by claiming that under ‘native’ African law his oil company doesn’t belong to him. Michael Prest, 50, was criticised by a senior judge last year for treating court proceedings ‘as a game’ by claiming to be £48million in debt instead of fabulously wealthy.

The High Court judge estimated his fortune to be at least £37.5million and ordered him to make the massive settlement. The oil tycoon was also told to pay maintenance of £24,000 a year for each of his four children, along with their private school fees and medical bills. The businessman and his ex-wife  Yasmin, 49, have blown almost £3million in legal fees fighting each other after the bitter break-up of their marriage in 2008. Now Mr Prest has succeeded in the first stage of his attempt to get the huge payout overturned by the Appeal Court. He has been granted permission to appeal by relying on Nigerian ‘customary native law’.

Mr Prest founded Petrodel Resources around ten years ago and in 2007 it was reported to have a turnover of close to £2.5billion.
But his lawyer Martin Pointer QC told the Appeal Court that a gift of £10,000 ‘seed money’ from his Nigerian father before he died in 1992 was the foundation stone on which his oil empire was built.
He said that under ‘customary law’ in Nigeria Mr Prest became head of the family with a responsibility to use his late father’s money to look after his four siblings and their children.

Mr Pointer argued his company’s assets did not belong to Mr Prest  but were ‘held in trust’ for his children and those of his siblings under Nigerian law.
Mr Prest’s brother Michel has  also launched a claim in the Nigerian High Court to declare that Petrodel Resources forms a part of their late father’s estate.
If successful, Mr Prest’s personal wealth would be dramatically reduced.
Mrs Prest has argued that Petrodel is ‘100 per cent owned and controlled’ by her former husband and has told the court it is effectively his ‘alter ego’.
The court heard Mrs Prest was born in England and grew up on the Isle of Man. She met Mr Prest, who was educated in Nigeria, in London and they married in 1993.
They lived in a £4million home in Bayswater, west London, and the oldest of their children is 14.
An £11.3million London property portfolio was also built up, with  almost all the flats and houses  being owned by one of Mr Prest’s numerous companies.

Mr Prest, who was named as one of the three most influential black  men in Britain in 2007, argued that  the Isle of Man-based company  Petrodel Resources should not have been included when assessing his ex-wife’s award.

Lord Justice Thorpe, sitting at the Appeal Court with Lord Justice Rimer and Lord Justice Patten, criticised Mr Prest’s ‘flagrant breach’ of his duty to disclose fully his financial affairs, as well as the ‘astronomical’ legal costs of the case. But he granted him permission to appeal ‘on the customary law point’.
Lord Justice Thorpe said: ‘The ownership of Petrodel is bound up with Nigeria and may be governed by customary law.’
Several of Mr Prest’s companies, including Petrodel Resources, are also appealing the divorce payout in their own right.
In the original High Court divorce case last October Mrs Prest claimed her husband was worth ‘many tens, if not hundreds, of millions of pounds’.
Mrs Prest had been seeking a payout of more than £30million, plus more than £730,000 a year for her and her children to meet their reasonable needs.
Mr Prest had offered her £27,000 a year and a lump sum of less than £2million. He claimed to have had no regular income for more than a year.
The family court hearing could not be reported, but details of the multi-million-pound divorce battle can now be disclosed  as the case has gone to the Appeal Court, which is not subject to the same blanket reporting restrictions.
Mrs Prest sat at the back of the Appeal  Court hearing with her lawyers and refused  to comment.
No date has been set for the full appeal.
Mr Prest has managed to keep a low public profile despite achieving huge success in the oil business. He became a successful oil trader before forming his own company in 2001.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2103792/Oil-tycoon-Michael-Prest-use-African-customary-native-law-claim-17-5m-divorce-payout-back.html#ixzz1nOHcfkpV

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/20/article-2103792-11D30F3D000005DC-931_233x423.jpg   https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/20/article-2103792-11D30F34000005DC-889_233x489.jpg

So they caught him in a lie once?!!! His case is pretty much over and he must surely know this. He is probably just trying to exact revenge on his ex-wife by exhausting her resources on legal fees. I feel ZERO pity for men like him. He should have known better when he wanted a trophy British wife and mulatto children! Abeg! He should pay-up like a big boy, and like many big boys before him have paid-up, and then keep it moving. After all, he did have a choice in the matter! A man that knew the law well enough to hide his properties in shell companies must have surely known the laws when he decided to get married, stay married for 15yrs and have four children! No court will pity him.

I am not a fan of mass-market perfumes. A lot of them smell badly and make me want to choke if the lady uses too much.

I use Lyric by Amouage for parties/evening time and Dior Homme Intense for everyday use. Amouage makes really great perfumes. I promise you that you won't go back to regular perfs once you try it. I have bought Jubilation XXV for an ex and Lyric for my mum and they loved them. Or you can just buy the sampler sets if you're not sure which one to get. They are pricier but they last a long time.

When next you're in France, you should check out Fragonard for lady-perfs. There's a big store on Rue Fbg St Honoré. Make sure you get the "perfumes" and not the "eaux de parfum" or "eaux de toilette."