₦airaland Forum

Who put this poorly-written piece of foolishness on the front page? What exactly is the OP trying to say that is new or insightful? I just don't get it.

Dyt:
mayb i can change ur tots abt marriage

So people really think I don't plan to get married?! LOL! Abeg, my mind doesn't need any changing.

chaircover:
. . . . . . Its not like I go to the petrol station and hang around there all day just so I can get high on Petrol fumes 

Nobody accused you of being a motor park tout! Besides, must huffers do it in the privacy of their homes.

maclatunji:
I think I would be remembered as 'that weird guy' by the majority who never got to understand me, a great kid by my parents, a loving but firm brother/relative by my siblings/relatives, a sincere and loyal friend by my few friends, the one that got away without being told how much he was loved by my female admirers and a bright young man that left early by my neighbours/colleagues.

Your topic is dire, Nigerians don't like to be reminded of death.

Pretty unimpressive.

1) Respect
2) Good cooking
3) Smarts
4) Big Bakassi

Are you sure you aren't getting high on petrol fumes?! You do know that those fumes are addictive, right? Abeg, stop "smelling" petrol oh! Those fumes are dangerous and have bad neurological effects.

I love the smell of leather. I even have a special car seat cleaner with "new leather" smell that I make them use during detailing.

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Old men should have better things to do! Keep following me and barking!

Sagamite:
You are a cretin.

Bra wearing arsewipe.

I have investigated and found you on the net:

[flash=400,350]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFYp138Pk0I&list=FLRUGdBFtrNhxxTkghQ0Qegg&index=175&feature=plpp_video[/flash]

Sick murrafucker.

You think I could not find you?

Eewww!!!! Stop posting dirty vids of yourself! Look at those saggy mantits! They match yours perfectly!

Sagamite:
You are a cretin!

That is why you run a mile when I want to intellectually gut you? 

Fcking phaggot! Richvkunt has exposed you. I can see you scream, run and hide effeminately under your bed when you see him on NL too.

Pansy Pucci!

Trolling product of a closed down community college.

Hahahaha! SaggyManTits has finally banded up with the ReekingC[i]u[/i]nt! Both of you are just meant for each other! Why don't you hug yourselves and make some more gay jokes?! Very, very original jokes you've both got there! Geeez, I am quivering in my shoes and clapping at the same time! Simply brilliant you both! Awon oloshi, oloriburuku gbogbo!

Impoverished, ponmo-lipped, obese, Primark-wearing dullard! Ugly, bitter, love-less dunce! You are so ugly, you were granted asylum on humanitarian basis for your ugliness! Look at you feeling cool and accomplished because you are the first in your lineage from Shagamu to reach London! Abeg, comot jor! I am still waiting for the tattered resume of yours so I can shred it with pleasure.

Old foolish man still trailing me from thread to thread! I am officially famous on NL! 

Since you have been barking, have I given a flying fck?! You can't stop now! You can't go back on your word to follow me on here forever. Show the ladies that you have some stamina and keep following me. Impoverished old-for-nothing dog and his raggedly band of kow-towing hormonal women.

davidylan:
Dear Lord,
You said that whatever we ask in thy name, as long as we have faith, it shall be done to us your children.
So in this we ask thee Lord that may we all find wives like[b] mutter[/b] . . . Amen!
May our unborn children be as funny and intelligent as her son . . . amen!
May our legs never stray to the door of jezebels like queensmith . . . Amen!
Slap us Lord should we ever attempt to speak to women like ileobatojo
Help us Lord never to listen to wicked men like moremi2008
but help us to be everything that dasparrow told us you want us to be to our wives
In Jesus name we pray,
amen

Oh, you have no choice! You WILL listen to me when I become your President!

I haven't said anything wicked in this thread at all (although I do confess so some wickedness in OTHER threads). The husband is not the wife's God. They should both submit to themselves in love. Some excusing village misogyny with the Bible and misinterpreting Pauline theology as a excuse for barbaric and antiquated ideas about marriage and love.

Do I want my future wife to respect me? Absolutely yes! Do I want her to submit to me in love and I to her in return? Yes! But the moment I chronically start to lay my hands on her or cheat on her, I fully expect her to protect herself. Marriage is NOT a jail cell. Divorce can be an option in certain cases that involve infidelity and physical abuse. Men need to stop thinking they have to imprison their wives with false theology to be respected and honored. There are easier and better ways to get a woman to die for you tori-torun and call you Big-Daddy in and out of bed - it all begins with loving and respecting her like Jesus has loved us, flaws and all.

I think I have said enough on this thread. Preaching to savages is a waste of time.

maclatunji:
You know there are times when enemies have mutual respect for each other. I don't think I have 'enemies' by the classic definition of the word but even with my quasi-enemies, I tend to appreciate the good things in them, it may even be their ability to scheme against me. So, I don't see why OP cannot rise above the ordinary on this matter. Let him be exceptional, extraordinary people do [b]extra[/b]ordinary things. Keep the word 'extra' in mind.

Abeg, speak in plain English jor so the world can understand you. What would you do if your parents flogged your wife, threatened to kill her and then started fighting you for your property? Please lets proffer realistic advice here. This "turn your other cheek and call them once in a while" advice is just rubbing me the wrong way. What is extraordinary about foolishness? Sometimes, it is wise to avoid certain family members, especially the ones that might be seeking to kill you or your wife.

chaircover:
Moremi omode lon she e

Mac eats with the elders. He knows about life.

I am sure he does! That certainly explains the senile advice.

chaircover:
Ewo tun ni slavecatchers

Na u sabi . . . . . just leave my saggy alone before I unleash busy body & Richy on you

Don't you know that Ijebu people's claim to fortune and power was from their monopoly of the slave trade in Yoruba land?

It used to be quite common in those days. Most of the people I know that were born before the 90s had only about 10-16 months spacing. These days, you want 2-3yrs in between children to maintain your sanity, especially outside Naija.

chaircover:
^^^^^ dont you dare call my sagamite names . . . . . you cretin 

Madam pokenoser, why are you getting in the way of a master telling off his servant?! Is it because you are both descendants of slave-catchers? Abeg jare! Let me hear word!

I can't even remember what Sagamite did to annoy the heck out of me. He's actually a nice kid once you can see past his foolishness but I know his type too well. Wannabe naija technocrats walking the city in cheap shoes from Jones Bootmakers, holding on to useless engineering degrees from useless has-been UK institutions and then coming on the internet to lord it over the barely educated Nigerian masses! I am here to beat his ego into shape, to show him that management consultants are a dime-a-dozen and that there is more to aspire to and more to accomplish before he can speak to me as an equal.

maclatunji:
OP, you have agreed to relocate your family. However, I beg you in a way that a complete stranger who doesn't know a darn thing about you can only beg to leave that house for your parents. Consider it a 'last sacrifice' for them. Please, when you finally leave everything, give them a call or two once in a while. Why? You might ask.

Well, in spite of their 'wickedness' your mother chose to bear you instead of terminating your life as a foetus and they nurtured you as an helpless baby. They will always have the upper hand in terms of goodness to you no matter what you do for them and this their 'wickedness'.

I know it must be hard, but take my advice and see how God will bless you in ways you never imagined. I hope you understand.

^^^^^^ With advice like this, who needs enemies?!!! Call the parents that have threatened to kill your wife once in a while? So they can receive updates about your new life without them? So they can know what they are missing now that you're reunited with your wife? Hahahahaha!!! What part of "leave his parents and cleaves to his wife" don't you understand? The poster might as well marry his mother if the world is as you say it is Maclatunji! If this is what it means to be a "good" son in Nigeria, then no wonder the country is upside down.

Abeg OP, you had better run for your life and go into hiding. These parents mean business oh! They must chop your money by force by force.

c.fours:
I do not support sex before marriage. but come on it's not rocket science. you don't need to have [i]se[/i]x to see an e[i]rec[/i]tion on a guy.

see your mouth like puff puff
how many girls have you impregnated?

E[i]r[/i]ection is a SIN in some churches! She must have been really proud that she had never caught her bf sinning! Little did she know. . .

This is an incredibly tragic story. I heard of a similar case last year; the lady married a virgin and then discovered her husband couldn't perform.

@ OP - Prayerfully surrender this marriage. There is nothing in it for you. God will provide you with a real husband.

Freesia:
Wow!!!This thread is still going ??

SaggyManTits and his harem of lady thugs have refused to let the topic die oh! Even me gan, the OP, don tire!

LOL! Abeg hang-on to him jare! Somebody needs to keep his bed warm before he brings his future wife over to the city. Who knows, he might even invite you to the wedding or put you on the bridal train!

Sagamite:
Unfortunately, the physical violence is not yet bad enough for me to say end it.

At the same time it is not a good omen.

In this case, there is nothing I can say except it is really up to you. Na you make the choice of man you decided to marry, I no fit help you (at this stage). Completely up to you.

If your husband has a close friend that can come and discuss with (not even chastise, merely discuss with) you why you told your brother he slapped you, then I query your judgement in selecting a man based on the kind of friends he has. No friend of mine, in his right mind o, can tell me to go and represent or defend him for slapping his wife. He would have to be COMPLETELY out of his mind to even consider Sagamite as that candidate.

One thousand years after the issue was resolved?! You are right on time as usual! 

coogar:
tpia@ had nine distinctions not ileobatojo.
ileobatojo was a perpetual truant. her grades were littered with Ds and Es.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Ileoba, nah true? Where were you when your mates were studying or searching for orijo? Inexcusable grades you have there, miss!

coogar:
by the same token, what's to say if the woman gives up to allow the child live, the child won't die of tuberculosis in the coming year?
it's still far sensible to save the mother and let the child go. the mother can always make another child. . . . . what if she had had a miscarriage in the early stages of the pregnancy? won't she dust herself up and baby-dance all over again? asking the mother to give up so a baby whose health is frail can live won't work. someone has to breastfeed that baby and care for it. who would do that? the dead mother?

ileobatojo was a truant in school and i have got a weakspot for bookworms.
the only forum member i genuinely have the hots for is tpia@. investigations revealed she had 9 distinctions from queen's college.
ileobatojo would have to redo her secondary school all over again to stand a chance.

Nine distinctions?!!! Ileobatojo, is that true? Are you single?

queensmith:
how can one be a succesful housewife? seriously I need to know? What is succesful about it?

I completely missed that memo all together,

Are you taking his post seriously? It's pure misogyny camouflaged as "neutral" advice. Successful housewife ko, award-winning housegirl ni! Some people just think we are all idiots on here.

MarcAnthon:
You can 'extrapolate' your answer from earlier posts. You're good at extrapolating so it shouldn't be an issue. You could also start a new thread.

Hahaha! Nice way to avoid committing yourself to an answer! Bloody Pharisee! Abeg, comot jare!

MarcAnthon:
^^ I laugh at you trying to teach me English.

Like I said, since you're heard of hearing (or reading), the only reason God will endorse divorce is when there's a case of infidelity. Just so you know. JC may not have told women to stay in a physically abusive relationships, but I'm sure he considered that when he said infidelity should be the only reason he'd endorse divorce. Unless you're smarter than him, that is, since you're good at extrapolating.

But you're getting ahead of yourself here. The OP asked a question about submission. I wouldn't know the kind of dictionary you use either, but I'm finding it hard to pair submission and physical abuse within the same bracket. THE ISSUE IS ABOUT SUBMISSION AS A RESULT OF THE MAN HAVING FIRST LOVED, OR LOVING AS A RESULT OF THE WOMAN HAVING FIRST SUBMITTED. And I'm saying they should be independent of each other, ideally. AND THAT COMES INTO PLAY NATURALLY IN DECISION MAKING, not physical abuse, bros. So cool down.

And FYI, I don't believe in divorce. I think whatever the issues are two adults can always resolve them IF THEY WANT TO.

You are incorrectly identifying the main argument running through several of the earlier posts. All this dancing around with merely tangential issues is not getting us any closer to the koko of the matter. SHOULD a wife's submission to her husband be unconditional? Even in a physically abusive marriage? Yes or No. The questions are simple enough.

chaircover:
O ti e da. . . . o fe te.  Just come closer and you will see how I will beat you with pankere and koboko elenu merin 

If anyone is worthy enough to be my BIL it will be no other than Serubawon . . . . .  but all my sisters are married 

OK, lemme play nice because it's Madam CC.

iiiyyyk:
Does your own interpretation of the blble advice your sister to divorce if she is not able to submit to her husband?

please if you dont know the bible dont just bring it up here.

 we are not abaut the bible now,

Re-framing the issue won't make you sound any smarter. The question is not whether she CAN submit or if she is ABLE to submit (anybody can submit if they wish). My question is, "SHOULD a woman submit to a physically abusive or a cheating husband?" My answer is no because that man has failed in his duty to love his wife as Christ loved the church. THIS is my interpretation of the Bible.

MarcAnthon:
What exactly are you saying cos I can't make much sense from this. Where exactly did I say women should be slaves? I said the woman should have her say but still let the man have the final say. However does that translate to slavery? When women are asked to submit unconditionally, it's because the One who asked them to does not sanction divorce, except as a result of infidelity. The same applies to men as well: You're to love unconditionally. They should be mutually exclusive. But that applies to couples who are already married. So get it clearly pls

I only extrapolated your argument to its logical conclusion. Unconditional submission = slavery. I don't know what type of dictionary you have or if we're even speaking the same language but please, go look up the words "unconditional" and "submission" and then juxtapose the two. Stop moving forward and going backwards at the same time. Say EXACTLY what you mean and own your misogyny without shame so we can call you out on it appropriately.

I am yet to see where in the Bible Jesus said it is OK for women to stay in physically abusive relationships. Sometimes, Christians just scare me with their ability to suspend their God-given intellects in the face of convenient dogma, especially misogynistic interpretations of the love of Christ. It's really funny that the same Nigerian pastors that preach nonsense theology like "unconditional submission"in Lagos, conveniently forgetting the "man love your wives" part, will move to the UK or the US where the culture and the laws have zero tolerance for misogyny, and change their tunes and soft-pedal their preaching. Aren't the pastors in the US/UK reading the same Bibles as the pastors in Naija? Abeg, comot!

MarcAnthon:
Exactly! If everyone played their part marriage won't be such hard work as we know. If you're already married it's too late I guess. The wife should submit and the husband should love, both without conditions. To submit would mean accepting his decision as final even if you should have your say still.

Those who are unmarried would have to put their partners up against God's standard. For her: does he love me unconditionally? Will my own plans for my life ultimately blend with his? Can I trust him with my future? Can I trust him to make the right decisions for our kids? etc, etc. If you can answer an honest yes to these questions then bitter arguments shouldn't arise, not just because he loves you but because you consider him capable and smart enough to make the right decisions for you both.

And for him: Does she love me as well (believe me submission is not the first thing here. Guys also want to feel loved first)? Is she proud, haughty, incalcitrant, and/or considers herself too smart for me? Does it take threats and not superior arguments to get her to fall in line? Does she respect me? etc, etc.

To our sistas who think the western world provides the ideal marriage model, you may want to consider what the divorce rate figures are. . . 1 in 2 in the US. Unless you won't mind being forty with three kids and waiting on your third husband.

At the end of the day, like someone pointed out earlier, where true love exists everything else should be a lot easier.

So your vision of marriage is a jail cell for women? Is this why many Nigerian brides find themselves beaten to death? Your interpretation of the Bible is dangerous and contradictory.  Sorry, I will never advice my sister to submit to a man that's beating her up or cheating on her. Your wife is NOT your slave.

Nashville:
You have said the truth even though you may be joking. For single girls, please choose carefully because you would be required to submit to your husband. Do not marry a man you cannot respect or you do not trust just because you are getting desperate.

For married women my answer is this; your lack of submission cannot solve any problems in your marriage. If you have married an irresponsible, abusive or cheating man, you need to ask God to help you and to help him so that you can both enjoy your marriage. If you choose not to submit to your husband, you can never solve any problems. You are really better off leaving the house and doing your own thing. If you want to stay then you should work out a way together to resolve all these issues and the first thing you need to show him is that you are willing to help solve his problems by submitting to him.

Now if you want to know what submission is, study Ephesians 5:22-25. It just describes the relationship between man and wife. If you really love your husband, you will find it easy to submit, trust me, they go hand in hand. The answer is love!

Now I am really curious about your opinion on how this relates to men. What should a man do with an un-submissive wife? Should men also base their marital decisions on how submissive the lady is?